WLC 6.D: Am I Glad That We're Not Frozen In Here

WLC 2.4: Ring of Fire

"I must say," says Vanessa, pulling eyes back into formation, "You are the third best I've-" Her flames reignite with a cough. "Mortal! The third best mortal I've-" Vanessa eyes focus on Ling, or rather, the burnt husk of her. The wizard's arms weakly gesturing spells, seemingly indifferent, or perhaps oblivious, to her missing leg. "You two," says Vanessa to Maraja and Kalyani, who still stand at the crossroads of shock and awe, "Aid her, for she now has my blessing to aid you. Priestess, you are to go as well. Assist them..." Vanessa's eyes dart about staring in different directions. "With... the quest they are on. ...I have to go." As the duo run over to Ling, Vanessa's avatar returns to the window.

As the pair begin healing Ling, she attempts to laugh only to cough up charred pieces of her tongue.

"You're a loon," says Maraja, channeling her energy into the roast gecko's chest, "Truly mad."

"Horrifying," says Kalyani, "Yet captivating." She holds the sides of Ling's head, forcing life through her.

"I'm number three," says Ling, weakly, "I am number three." Runes begin tearing open her burnt skin.

The champion runs her hand through her liquid hair and begins rubbing the nearest arm. "Why is that your focus?" She scraps and the skin peels away. "Do you have any idea how long a list that even is?"

"At least three," says Ling. Her voice returning, she yells a spell and a new leg erupts from the scorched stump. "Important rule for keeping patient's calm and out of pain: distraction. Think about anything else." Dr. Ling sits up with enough force to fling the rest of the dead skin off of her front.

"You're a doctor?" asks Kalyani, "I thhought you were jusst the town drunk."

Ling hops up and shakes the rest of her old self onto the floor. "Of biochemistry, but close enough," she says, naked as a hatchling, "Meet me at my place tomorrow morn." She begins running toward the door. "It's the brick house by the Hole."

L: Crazy that she vaporized my clothes. D: Why would she do that? L: Like I said, it was boring adult stuff. Don't mind it. D: But how does- J: Gods are weird, Dalini. They did things like that all the time.

"What's the hole?" asks Maraja.

"I believe shhe meant the entrancce to the Underdank," responds Kalyani, commanding a small wind with a gesture to blow the ashes out. "I can shhow you thhere. Do you need a placce to sstay for thhe night?"

Wizard Lizard Chronicles 1.1: Prologue of the End

Under the blackened sun, in the half-buried remains of a town, walks a gecko in a regal military uniform. The gold trim of her dark suit matches the streak in the bangs of her long, straight black wig. A band of darkened scales sits across her face, pierced by her unyielding eyes.

"Back where we started," she mutters, as she approaches a the remains of an old stone alchemical store. Her boots kick up dirt as she marches, smashing through numerous magical barriers and wardings; her own power emanating from her (no fancy hand signs or magic words, just raw stubbornness) to clear her way.

She pushes open the battered door with a loud creak and steps in. The building is filthy, but not as abandoned as it appeared. Sitting in a chair of molded dirt in the dark is a figure in a robe and pointed hat. The wizard leans back to see under the brim of her hat and asks, "Came alone, did'ya?"

The intruder licks her eyes. "Yeah," she says, "Finally tired of running, Mum?"

WLC 2.6-1: Flashback Within a Flashback

"Is this the way into the Underdank?" asks a tall, lanky knight in shining armor. Her voice is a shrill whisper, but upbeat. The green spiral symbol on her shield marks her as a follower of Freegh, the Goddess of Life.

Bobbobo the guard's eyes shift back into focus. At a glance, he may have mistaken her for a tallgoblin, but her large hooked nose and long skinny neck weren't like anyone he'd seen before. Her legs are more cat than goblin, too. Perhaps that is why he hadn't heard her approach. These thoughts occupy his mind for barely a second before he discards them. "Yes," he says, back to business, "Reason for leaving?"

M: She has a striking figure. She's as beautiful as she is kind. But she has a nasty habit of sneaking off, vanishing into darkness.

"I've been tasked with locating the Shadow Queen," says the knight, pumping her fist, "This is the closest entrance to her fortress... I think."

"Time to return, knight?" asks Bobbobo.

"I... hadn't thought about... that?" The knight turns around. "Do I need to know that?"

"No."

YL: Wait, I may have seen your mate.

M: You saw her? You met Kirono?

K: I thhink I did, too. Jusst briefly.

YL: Last week, yeah? Kee-RAW-naw? Cute name.

Before Kirono can speak, a bell rings out from within the dome behind the guard. He claps the fingers of his right hand against its palm, then slaps the dome. The magic barrier become translucent revealing the entrance to the Underdank. "Welcome back, Ling." He does not turn to face the gecko climbing out of the hole.

"G'day, Bob," says Ling, who looks up to the knight, "And ya too, sheila. Love to chat, but I've work to do." She races into the nearby building.

Kirono bends her neck ninety degrees and peers into the hole. She whistles. "That's... not the angle I was expecting."

"Four hundred metres straight down," recites Bobbobo, "The Township of Rankedge 'olds no responsibility for your safety. It is advised not to enter the Underdank." He eyes Kirono without turning his head. "Especially alone."

"I'll be fine," says Kirono, proudly, "I'm a wayang, I was born down there."

"Be careful down there," says Bobbobo.

Seeing the guards apathy, Kirono hesitates. "Maaaaaybe I should tell someone where I'm going first," she says, "Where's the... post office?"

M: I received a letter from her five days ago and- Oh, the ground. Thank you, both of you.

YL: No worries, mate.

K: Now, where shhould we sstart looking, dear?

Mikado Mirror

There are so many death animations in Bushido Blade 1 and a few in the sequel. For some reason (probably demons), I recorded Mikado ending herself for more than six minutes straight.

Just screaming and dying for six minutes.

WLC 5.8: How I Met Your (Other) Mother

"How are we on your list?" ask Luminița, "We fell from-" She looks up to the completely normal ceiling. She sputters in confusion.

Lurentooz smiles, as best as a cluster of tendrils posing can be considered to be. "Let me show you to your rooms."

In spite of being a trans-dimensional vessel, the Love Craft looks very much like an extravagant sea vessel. The fancy wood is clearly of alien origin, but still distinctly wood. The other main material is mysterious; it is as a hard white liquid, but neither earthen nor organic. Most of the vessel's exterior is made of this unnatural substance.

The trio has little chance to protest as they are led to their cabins and advised as to the hot mingling spots.

J: As tired as I was, I was not climbing into a strange bed in a strange world.

Feeling peckish, Jevoi makes her way to the dining hall. A veritable menagerie of beings sit at dozens of white-clothed tables. Merry feasting and conversations fill the room. The banter is incomprehensible to the gex for it largely is in languages she cannot speak.

Alone with her thoughts, a marilith in a sleeveless green dress sits picking at a piece of meat. Jevoi takes care not to stare as she crosses the room to the bar.

The bartender, a floating multieyed spherical creature, greets her with a smile. His ID labels him Yyzax.

"What can I getcha?" he asks, his central eye staying focused on her, while his eye stalks continue to observe the room.

In spite of (or perhaps, because of) her mother, Jevoi struggles to answer the question. "Something ...buggy?" she spits out.

As Yyzax mixes a drink with his eye beams, he says, "Saw you eyeing that lonely lady."

"Yeah?" says Jevoi defensively, "Is there a problem?"

"Nah," says Yyzax, sliding a cockroach cocktail to Jevoi, "Just saying what I'm seeing." His smile says a lot.

Jevoi takes the drink and then takes a drink. Its meat gives her a slight buzzing feeling. She looks at the demon again, a titanic woman. She's going to do it. She's going to talk to her. Just as soon as she can remember how.

WLC 6.H: The Kids are Alright

Ling forces the passage stone back into place. The smears of viscera weigh upon her mind. "Thanks for... something, ya b*****d."

J: Why would you be upset about him dying. L: Because nobody had to die. I didn't want him dead. I wanted the witches to give up; they hadn't killed anyone yet. They could have ...cleaned the forest? Something to make amends. J: Seems like it worked out just fine.

Ling hurries down the corridor. "Yo, Outie," she yells, "Where're the kids?"

"In time, Wizard Lizard," says a booming voice, "First, the promised boon must be granted. It is unwise for one such as I to remain indebted to one such as you."

"Same."

As Ling approaches the portal, a red stone, with several indentations, the size of her head is launched from it into her claws.

"This seed, once planted, will grow into a tree bearing any material it is first coated in as fruit," says the voice, "May it aid you to your dream."

Ling twists and turns it, inspecting it's odd shape. "Thanks, mate," she says, sliding it into her cloak, "Now, about those kids."

Out of the portal pops seven kids: two smallgoblins (the boy with spiky growths), two kobolds (one is red, the other white), a teen dwarf (with a poorly shaved beard), an elf (with hair of gold), and an orc (fingers covered in burn scars).

"Ripper, the lot's all here," says Ling, before clearing her throat, "We're getting out of this cave, back to town, stop by Gizzard King, and get ya all home. How's that sound?"

"Gizzard King!" yell Hanzy and Grater the smallgoblins, throwing their hands up, "Thank you, Jevoi's Mom."

"I don't..." mumbles the orc presumably known as Matches, "I don't have a home."

"Then I'll find ya one," says Ling, leaning down to eye level. "No worries, got it?"

Loxi (elf) whispers to Genette (dwarf) and nudges her forward.

"Dr. Ling," Genette begins awkwardly, "I- I don't want to go."

Ling almost begins speaking, but looks across the other kids first.

"They know."

"Okay," Ling whispers to herself. After everything thus far, this should be easy. "I can't make ya go back, Genette, but I don't know what ...uh?" Ling realizes she doesn't even know where that sentence was supposed to be going.

"I want to work for Uncle J."

"Who?" Ling conjures chairs for everyone.

"I believe the child refers to me," says the booming voice, "I am in need of new liaisons to your world."

"And why should I allow that?" Ling stares at the portal.

"Besides you," says Genette, sitting down "He's the only adult willing to listen." She sighs. "And I know you only did because you knew no one else would. You never told me that I'm bad or weird for how I feel."

"I'm not going to lie," says Ling, awkwardly laying forward in her backward chair, "Even knowing some others that went thr- are th- ya know what I mean." Ling rubs her head in frustration. "But just 'cause I was the first doesn't mean I'm the only one who'll treat ya the way ya deserve to be, the way everyone deserves to be. See, when I first moved to Rankedge, no one could understand me; I was that fast-talking wizard from Ozzel -er, Ozzelia. And back in Ozzelia, I was that weird lizard from the surface."

Ling takes a moment to look at the kids; while the teens understand, the younger ones are a bit confused.

"No worries, though," says Ling, "Because I always found people who didn't see me that way. Always found mates that treat me right, and that's why I try to pay that forward."

J: Yet you mock me for "walking like an elf." L: 'Cause it reminds me of the drongo I used to be, thinking looking like a mammal would make them see me as a person. It didn't work, like I told those kids back then.

"I don't know if me saying this is helping ya," says Ling. She takes her wig off and puts it into her cloak, "But it's honestly helping me."

"So why don't you trust Uncle J?" asks Genette, "Why judge him like that too?"

Ling thinks for a second and, finding no answer that would sound out of place coming from Mr. Geneson or the late sheriff about her, concedes. "I'll have faith in your faith, but if Uncle J acts up, ya call Aunt Ling."

"Can we join too?" asks Rosen the red kobold.

"Yeah, I think our boss here's... you know," says Graupel, pointing down.

"I guess there's your coven," laughs Ling, "Now, le-"

"Wait," says Genette, leaning forward suddenly, "You said you knew others like me? Who do you know? Why didn't you say that earlier?"

"I didn't know if that'd help," shrugs Ling, "One's a bloke in a billib- swamp, a ways away. Another's a vrow sheila that... may not be a great role model. Then th-"

"Well, maybe I need a bad role model," says Genette with a smirk.

"Ya cheeky little..." Ling tassles Genette's hair, then gets serious. "Why'd ya come out here anyway?"

"I thought my aunt Gudrun would let me stay with her," says Genette, mood falling again, "But her crazy girlfriend dumped me in that portal."

"Aunt Gudrun?" Ling maintains a calm facade. "Anyone else know about her?"

"Mom hates her," says Genette, pulling on her scratchy almost-non-existent beard, "She says we can't let anyone else know about her."

Ling continues to stay calm in front of kids. "I'll let the deputy know."

Loxi interjects. "Deputy? The guards are here?"

Ling nods. "Yeah, hopefully she'll deal with your dad," says Ling to Genette, "I'm still thinking of what to say if he comes knocking."

"Just tell him the truth," says Loxi, wagging her finger, "He's not going to ask about Genette."

Ling laughs, "Just like your aunt..." She whispers to the dwarf, "She's a keeper, girl."

The teen dwarf sputters and fails to come up with coherent series of words.

Ling smiles, "Find mates that'll treat ya right; that's all I'm saying."

Loxi smiles at Genette, who blushes and fidgets awkwardly.

"Are we still going to Gizzard King?" yells Grater.

J: What was the point of this story, Mum? That I should feel bad about killing that lousy sheriff? "Prejudice is bad;" I already know that. L: What message could a yarn about an awful person in power not always bring that way have for an empress? Ya really think I care about that creep that used ya to blackmail me into her bed? J&L: ... J: Mum... L: Let's stop here.

WLC 3.9: BLOOD

"What do I do? What do I do? What do I do I do?" chants Gank, walking in place. The unconscious child on the floor continues to bleed from her arms in front of Gank. "Right, blood. I have to stop the blood," she says to herself.

Gank begins running around the room looking for anything that could help her situation. As she paces about, she licks the blood from her own claws.

J: I can see you struggling to keep your mouth shut, Mum. L: I wasn't saying anything.

"Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?" Gank searches frantically for the salve she knows is somewhere in this room. "I know ya keep it somewhere here; ya suck at healing, mom." She spots a box sitting beside a shelf, and throws it open. "Jackpot."

The box contains potions, powdered medical herbs, and other supplies. "I'm going to get caught the next time she checks this thing." She grabs the salve and a towel and races back to the bleeding child.

J: Why didn't you grab the potion? G: You were bleeding; I was panicking. L: She was, like, fourteen.

Gank slathers it over Jevoi's arms, desperately trying not to cut her further. She then wraps the towel around the limbs and pushes gently on them. She feels the slowing rhythm of Jevoi's heart.

"I think this was how it worked. How'ya feeling?" she asks and receives no answer. "Yeah. That makes sense." She looks at the blood drying on the floor and has an idea.

Dipping her claw in the blood, Gank begins painting a magic circle around Jevoi. "It's like this, and this," she says to herself. Her claws shaking, she manages to etch the runes she knows. "Okay, okay, okay." She slaps the circle, the spirits of the cave answer the call and pulse life through Jevoi's body.

"All I have to do now is..." Gank looks at the bloody evidence still around here. She sighs.

Gank begins licking the blood off the floo-

D&J: EUAGH L: Why? G: Ya don't have room to judge me. I know where ya put your tongue. J: No, eeegh.

To repeat: Gank begins licking the blood off the floor and a primal urge rises within her. The soft meat of a helpless animal is right there. It must taste so good. A rare cut from so far away.

"No, focus." Gank throws those thoughts away and keeps at the floor.

L: So, on the topic of rituals: outside we were blessing the land.

WLC 6.4: They're on a Path in the Woods

Adjusting the tie on her red hood, a young lycan, barely a gnome tall, looks down the trail into the woods. The birds are singing, bugs are buzzing, and sun shining through the canopy. She picks up her picnic basket.

"Do you really have to follow me?" she asks the dark-hooded figure behind her, "It's just my bunica's house; I go every week."

The masked figure nods. "It's not safe to go alone," she says.

"You're shorter than me," says the lycan, "I'll have to protect you if anything is actually out here."

"Not the poi~ent~," sings the masked figure.

"Don't do that." The lycan skips along the path and her shadow drags behind.

"Just keep your eyes open for any queer sights."

"Like a pond that wasn't there last week?"

"Right~io~," sings the shadow, "Wait, is that it?"

The two stop and cautiously approach the waterfront through the grass. Because of their tall boots, the two feel safe from ticks and other bugs.

The shadow skips a stone across the pond. "Seems like real water to me," she says, "But where's it from?"

"Oh, you two, right there," says a sweet voice from the lake, yet unimpeded by the water itself "You wouldn't have happened to drop a sword in here recently?"

"No?"

"Are you sure?" asks the voice, sounding closer to the girls, "There are a few down here; one is iron, one is steel, one is silver, and one is gold."

"Not ours, sorry," says the lycan.

"But the silver could be useful," says the shadow, "Can we borrow it? Just for today?"

A light shines from the lake as an elf-like woman emerges. Her skin shimmering silver, her hair gold. The water flowing around her as a shawl, barely concealing her dignity. She stares down at the children. She attempts to smile warmly to them, but it just creeps them out.

"Greetings, honest travelers," she says, extending out an open palm, "You may call me Argentalms Aurocor. May I have your names?"

"I'm using it," says the lycan, stepping back, "Sorry."

"Mine was a gift," says the shadow, stepping forward.

Ms. Aurocor rolls her beautiful pearlescent eyes. "Then what may I call you, travelers?"

"You can call us Loomy and Bacon," says the lycan, "It's nice to meet you, I guess."

"Really nice to meet you," says the shadow presumably called Bacon.

WLC 6.B: And They Were Broom-Mates

As Ling approaches the metal windmill, the ground under it groans and shifts. A chunk of land rises up, revealing a crude staircase.

"If anyone is still alive up there," demands a young woman's voice from the dark, climbing upward, "Identify yourself."

"A passing wizard," says Ling, "Who's asking?"

"I am the Gr- hold on, give me a second," says the voice, hurrying up the stairs. As she reaches the surface, she announces, "I am the Great Witch Zingiber, Herald of Calamity."

Zingiber is a tan elven woman, barely a few centuries old, with fluffy red hair. She wears an extremely dark red cloak. Her ruby earrings are so large that the bend her long pointy ears (as they are hooked into the tips). She posed dramatically when she emerged and sneaks a look with one eye to see what reaction she garnered.

"By the Gods," says Zingiber, dropping the pose into one of exaggerated shock, "You're Dr. Ling, creator of Tendon Tearer! It's such an honour!"

L: It was a nice feeling being identified for magic for once. Wish it had been my food magic...

"Ripper, my rep precedes," says Ling, "Sorry 'bout ya're spell minefield, but I couldn't give ya a bell."

"Don't worry about that," says Zingiber. She turn around and waves for Ling to follow, "Come in, please." She giddily kicks about before squealing and charging in.

Into the darkness, Ling descends. Her orb's shine guides her until a distant glimmer sparks into view. This staircase must reach into the Underdank. If that's the case, then the sheriff was half-right.

The room at the bottom is bare, lit by the single smokeless torch hanging on the wall. A large metal door stands in the far wall inscribed with runes.

"Apple crumble and filch," says Zingiber to which the door opens. "Let me show you around."

The cavern was carved in an uneven yet cubic way, a chaotic and artificial mess. The dark stone lit by yet more smokeless torches and splattered with dried blood. An arrangement of mini mesas form a set of table and chairs with small cushions set upon them.

L: The room was a tripping hazard deathtrap. One wrong step and there's a pointy corner in your face.

"This is our main room- oh, I NEED to introduce you to the rest of the coven!" Zingiber turns down a corridor and yells, "Gudrun! You'll never guess who's here!"

"This better be good, or they better be dead," grumbles a distinctly dwarven voice from down the way.

Stepping into the room in an extremely dark green variant of Zingiber's witchy robe is a brooding pale middle-aged dwarven woman. Her hair, beard, and overdone eye shadow are as black as the stairwell Ling just crawled down. Both her long hair and beard run through simple sapphire bands.

"Why'd ya let a stranger into our lair?" asks Gudrun, "What part of secret is escaping yer erratic brain?"

"But this is Dr. Ling," whines Zingiber, "The genius that created all those body horror spells I've been practicing. She's my inspiration."

"So, ya're the lovely partner to this little psycho?" asks Ling, "Where's the third?"

L: Not a fan of being labeled a body horror wizard.

J: Then stop making new body horror spells.

L: Those are my "stop trying to kill me" spells; ya have to keep making new ones or your enemies will learn how to counter ya. Anyhow, I knew I had to distract these two to search the place.

"Elsewhere," says Gudrun, "How'd ya guess?"

"All covens have at least three witches," says Ling, "But I guess I can be your third 'til morning." Ling licks her eyeballs.

Zingiber squeals again, but Gudrun seems hesitant.

"One of my idols wants my body," she says to no one specifically. She swiftly spots Gudrun's face and falls to her knees before her. "Please, please, please, please-please, pleeeeeeeeease. We HAVE to."

Gudrun shakes her head, "We shouldn't. Not without her."

"Well, if she wants to be an equal part of this relationship then maybe she should be living with us instead of leaving us alone."

"Fair," says Gudrun, "Alright, lizard, hope ya're better than my ex-hub."

"I'll get the honey and the chaaaains!" says Zingiber darting off.

"Wait," says Ling, casting a spell on the elf. The confirmation sign appears over her head. "Carry on." She turns to the dwarf, "So, ya and this one, huh?"

"Ma always said not to stick yer tongue in crazy," says Gudrun, "But what Ma don't know won't kill her."

"Strewth."

WLC 6.1: A Scientist in Her Natural Habitat

L: Less than a year after the worm incident, I's in my lab working. Jevoi was off playing with Gank, when I had a visitor.

In the lab-cum-store sits twenty potted pepper plants across four tables with protective domes. Each table has the same arrangement of five different types pepper. Between each set, stands a different colored glowing crystal; between the tables, a cross wall containing safely coated lead plates.

Dr. Ling sits at her counter with a red pepper cut open on a tray, seeds carefully extracted in a pile. Her writing notes for each plant's current condition and exposure schedule next to it.

"After three weeks, the peppers appear to be unchanged externally under the red light," she mutters to herself, "But the seeds have grown in size. Taste testing will need to be redone."

She sighs, for she is unable to taste a difference in these supposedly hot peppers. The capsaicinoids have no effect on her, nor her current assistants, but to the mammals it was intended to repel, its flavor is valued highly. If the taste is too different, or worse, unpalatable, her work will never be accepted; it's already hard enough to assure most people that her food is safe. Sure, goblins will eat anything, but elves and dwarves? They have standards, traditions. No matter what affects she's had politically, she still had to fight for every plant, for every scrap of funding. Three steps forward, two steps back, until she dies. A never-ending-

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The sudden rapping on her door awakens Ling from her thoughts. The stress is getting to her again. She walks to the door, preparing how she'll react. Is this for passage or medicine? 'Or maybe love?' hopes Ling. She opens the door slowly. "Who's it?"

Standing outside Ling's house is a uniformed gnome woman. The curly haired cutie is someone Ling vaguely recognizes, "Good eve~ning~, Dr. Ling," she says.

"Tanglepork?" Ling asks, "I already gave your boss my files. Did ya come just to come?" She licks one eye in her approximation of a wink.

"That's Deputy Tanglepork, now," says the gnome, gesturing to her badge. "I need to ask you a few questions; it's serious. May I?"

"Come on in, Porky," says Ling, "Need a break from plants."