She's The Nicest Assassin You'll Ever Meet.

WLC 2.7: Here We Glow

In total darkness, Ling drops Kalyani's bag and skitters off. "Hold on," she says, "I know it's around here." There's a tapping and creak. A dull light enters the chamber. Ling now stands by a small open door filled with glowing stones. "Great to see ya, again."

Maraja rolls her eyes, then turns her attention elsewhere. The chamber opens into three tunnels, but the small stone structure Ling stands beside has several metal pods attached to its sides. "What is that?"

"Just my current experiment," says Ling, "These pods contain different crops and the paneling shifts over time like the sun." She skitters up onto the building to a valve. "By turning this once a week, it keeps going 'round."

"Are thhosse dangerouss?" asks Kalyani, slithering away and roots through her bag.

"Defo!" says Ling, "With too many, anyway. Like standing in the sun." As Kalyani pulls a torch from her bag and lights it, Ling shuts her door and joins the duo in the center of the chamber. "So, who knows the way to go?"

"Her loving eyes will guide us," say Maraja. She fall to her knees and prays, "Dearest Vanessa, please, show us, on what path did Kirono head?"

A flaming eye suddenly appears in a tunnel and vanishes further in.

J: The gods did something? Hah. L: Two of her followers asked on a quest she assigned one to. J: ... L: We can talk about Vanessa later, Jevoi.

Ling licks her eyes. "South, toward Vrow territory."

"Oh, great," Kalyani shakes her head and takes out a staff, "The worshhiperss of Lmaoth." She conjures a new floating disc.

"Don't jinx it, mate," says Ling, hoisting the bag back on to it.

J: Can you just skip to the castle? L: What? But the purple-stuffed worm- and the tuning fork. D: I want to hear about the worm! J: Fine, just the interesting parts of spelunk. L: I'll do.

"She will protect us," says Maraja, standing, "She will protect us. Let us go forth!" She marches into the tunnel.

WLC 6.D: Am I Glad that We're Not Frozen in Here

After getting their clothes, Ling once again plots a course.

"Question, mate," says Ling, following Zingiber into the junk-filled chamber, "Heard some kids have been coming out this way. They with you?"

"Oh," Zingiber squeaks slightly and giggles, "Yeah, those kobolds have been a huge help. Huge help." She laughs quietly, but, as Ling can no longer deny, evilly.

The comatose bull still stands in silent indignity, yet still towers over the elf and gex.

"I've been practicing a few spells on this dummy," says Zingiber, "But Gudrun still needs him for her plans, so I can only do weak reversible s**t to him, like Torsion spells."

Ling laughs. "Ah, reminds me of school," she says, secretly casting a spell, "B*****ds spamming that spell so much, that the whole place had Genital Shield Mirror up at all times."

L: Morality classes really should mandatory at wizard schools, to introduce the concept at least.

"You must have SO many stories about spells," says Zingiber, getting too close for Ling's sense of safety, "Especially about the o̶̢̡͇͇͚̣̮̖͍̠̗̱̍͋͑̔̿̉̿̌̀̎̕͜r̶̛͈̜̭͉͍͚̃̋͐̆͛̐͗̈́̎̏̕c̸̢̨̞̹͈̙̠͉̋́̀͝ ̴̗̱͈̙͉̪̝̳̣̝͕̩̮͉̫̖͒̽͊̓̓̅͊̆͌͜w̴̛̝̟̤͊̏͐́̌̓̄̑͒̒͗͗͗̃̚͜͝ả̶͔̣͖̘̳̫̜͓͕͒̇̉̇̕̕͘͝r̶̢̧̢̛̜͇̯̖̘̘͉̗͗̅̎́͑̈̋̌͆̅͛̕̕͝."

L: Aargh. J: What's wrong? About the what? L: Don't remember...

A sudden pounding pulses through Ling's brain like SONAR through unlucky fish. She grips her head and hisses.

"What's wrong?" The elf takes a step back. "Do you need something?"

"Water," says Ling, scraping her claws along her head-scales, "Get me water."

"On it!" sings Zingiber, "Be right ba-ack." She prances down the corridor.

Ling immediately turns her attention to the sheriff, fighting to clear her thoughts. "Alright, cavebull, time to unf**k your brain." Harnessing her knowledge of physical brains, Ling attempts to counter the hex holding Honeycrisp. Grabbing his head, she channels a torrent of magic through it. The process puts her own mind back at ease.

The light returns to Honeycrisp's eyes. They dart about his head in confusion before settling on Ling. "Get your w***e hands off me," he growls, pushing Ling away.

"Ya're welcome, ya b*****d." Regret surges forth like an open wound.

WLC 2.4: Ring of Fire

"I must say," says Vanessa, pulling eyes back into formation, "You are the third best I've-" Her flames reignite with a cough. "Mortal! The third best mortal I've-" Vanessa eyes focus on Ling, or rather, the burnt husk of her. The wizard's arms weakly gesturing spells, seemingly indifferent, or perhaps oblivious, to her missing leg. "You two," says Vanessa to Maraja and Kalyani, who still stand at the crossroads of shock and awe, "Aid her, for she now has my blessing to aid you. Priestess, you are to go as well. Assist them..." Vanessa's eyes dart about staring in different directions. "With... the quest they are on. ...I have to go." As the duo run over to Ling, Vanessa's avatar returns to the window.

As the pair begin healing Ling, she attempts to laugh only to cough up charred pieces of her tongue.

"You're a loon," says Maraja, channeling her energy into the roast gecko's chest, "Truly mad."

"Horrifying," says Kalyani, "Yet captivating." She holds the sides of Ling's head, forcing life through her.

"I'm number three," says Ling, weakly, "I am number three." Runes begin tearing open her burnt skin.

The champion runs her hand through her liquid hair and begins rubbing the nearest arm. "Why is that your focus?" She scraps and the skin peels away. "Do you have any idea how long a list that even is?"

"At least three," says Ling. Her voice returning, she yells a spell and a new leg erupts from the scorched stump. "Important rule for keeping patient's calm and out of pain: distraction. Think about anything else." Dr. Ling sits up with enough force to fling the rest of the dead skin off of her front.

"You're a doctor?" asks Kalyani, "I thhought you were jusst the town drunk."

Ling hops up and shakes the rest of her old self onto the floor. "Of biochemistry, but close enough," she says, naked as a hatchling, "Meet me at my place tomorrow morn." She begins running toward the door. "It's the brick house by the Hole."

L: Crazy that she vaporized my clothes. D: Why would she do that? L: Like I said, it was boring adult stuff. Don't mind it. D: But how does- J: Gods are weird, Dalini. They did things like that all the time.

"What's the hole?" asks Maraja.

"I believe shhe meant the entrancce to the Underdank," responds Kalyani, commanding a small wind with a gesture to blow the ashes out. "I can shhow you thhere. Do you need a placce to sstay for thhe night?"

Bushido Dance

In the second game, the characters have a set of special kata performances they can do for certain achievements. The dance in question changes based on weapon.

Beating 20 opponents in Vs CPU mode, winning in Group Battle Mode, or beating Story mode without dying will show you something like this.

Obviously these aren't the locations they're supposed to do this in. This second location is the secret "Samurai Mansion" stage in the POV Link Battle Mode.

This is one of the training rooms.

Wizard Lizard Chronicles 1.1: Prologue of the End

Under the blackened sun, in the half-buried remains of a town, walks a gecko in a regal military uniform. The gold trim of her dark suit matches the streak in the bangs of her long, straight black wig. A band of darkened scales sits across her face, pierced by her unyielding eyes.

"Back where we started," she mutters, as she approaches a the remains of an old stone alchemical store. Her boots kick up dirt as she marches, smashing through numerous magical barriers and wardings; her own power emanating from her (no fancy hand signs or magic words, just raw stubbornness) to clear her way.

She pushes open the battered door with a loud creak and steps in. The building is filthy, but not as abandoned as it appeared. Sitting in a chair of molded dirt in the dark is a figure in a robe and pointed hat. The wizard leans back to see under the brim of her hat and asks, "Came alone, did'ya?"

The intruder licks her eyes. "Yeah," she says, "Finally tired of running, Mum?"

WLC 4.6: Tonight, We Dine, In Hall

The dining hall is a grand display: many lengthy tables, elaborate chandeliers, fancy crystal 'candles', and cushioned chairs. Jevoi sits at the head of the table with Angustias on her right. Dalini sits on the left with an unimpressed Ling beside her.

Ling looks down the table into the empty room. "Where's the rest of them?" she asked.

"We're eating earlier than usual," says Jevoi, "I don't want to overwhelm Dalini."

"Don't want to be seen with me," accuses Ling, "Or want my eyes on ya?"

Before Jevoi can respond, a chime rings out and four covered plates float to the table.

"Eh, what's this display for?" asks Ling, "Why not some bloke?"

Jevoi pauses, as if realizing something, but disregards it.

The group uncover their food: Angustias has massive steak, Jevoi and Dalini have fruit salads with snails, and Ling has a large insect.

"Dire roach!" says Ling, "Ripper, the lobster of land." She breaks off a leg and begins sucking the meat out.

Dalini begins scooping fruit into her mouth by hand.

"Use a spoon, please," says Jevoi, pointing to the by Dalini's bowl, "It's rude to use your hands like that, Dalini."

"Okay," says Dalini, picking up the spoon and carefully trying to pick up the pieces.

"The fork may be more useful," says Angustias, cutting up the meat before her.

As Dalini stabs a strawberry, she asks, "So how did you meet?"

Jevoi swallows a bite of food and coughs. "That's- that's a bit of a story."

"We got time, Jevoi," says Ling, cracking open the roach's carapace, "And we got a third witness here too."

Gank briefly flickers behind Jevoi with a malicious grin, as Jevoi sighs. "I suppose we shouldn't keep it a secret."

Thinking about Writing

I don't know how many people are actually reading this dumb lizard story, but I'm having fun writing it, improv-ing it one day at a time. I already know the main beat of Chapter 3: How Li'l Jevoi Met the Shadow Queen.

Game Manual 1.5

The game manual post had some technical difficulty, so I split it. If the prior post is hidden, it's because tumblr is labeling "mature" likely by auto error.

The Japanese manual, for reference.

WLC 5.9: Hey, Demon, It's Jevoi

"G'day," says Jevoi, "Is this- this seat taken?"

The marilith looks at the mortal, but only briefly. She rolls her eyes and continues staring at her food, strange purple meat. "Sure, whatever," she says, "Pretty gutsy walking up to a demon."

D: So what did you talk about? J: Philosophy. L: What kind? J: That's not important.

Jevoi sits down with her drink in hand. "Well, I mean," she struggles to say, "Who says demons have to be bad?"

"The gods?" says the baffled mailith. She stabs the meat; it oozes in response.

"Not really a fan of them anyway," shrugs Jevoi, "Seems like there's a lot of problems they're choosing not to solve."

The marilith looks up, bemused. "And how'd you fix them?"

"My mum always said that we have to keep working to override the people seeking to make everything worse."

"You believe that?" The marilith twirls her fork. "Just try harder?"

"No," says Jevoi, "If there are people dragging us backward, then logically the best thing we can do is get rid of them."

"Get rid of them... how?" asks the marilith. Her gaze intensifying.

"Kill them," says Jevoi blunt, swift, and cold, staring into the marilith's eyes.

A: That look in your eyes that day. I still remember it. L: So ya let her into your cabin then? Eh? Eh? J: Mum, no!

Looking into those eyes, it is as if the whole room has gone silent. The marilith had never had a mortal look at her this way before. She laughs, and says, "Want to walk with me? Name's Angustias, by the way."

"You can call me Jay," says Jevoi, sipping her drink.

"Afraid to tell a demon your name?" asks Angustias, coyly leading Jevoi out the door.

"You're not the first demon I've met," says Jevoi, following coolly.

A: You were trying so hard to be an aloof rogue. J: And you were trying to be seductive. A: I was succeeding.

The duo step out onto the deck and looking out of the bubble surrounding the ship. The stars and galaxies sparkle and shine in the great dark void.

D: Stars? L: Distant lights in the surface world's sky. J: Magnificent beacons of power that fill the cosmos. A: They're really not that special, just plasma.

The pair lean on the railing, neither sure what to say, and so, they linger in silence. A good silence, to be fair.

WLC 5.2: Assassin Vision

Keeping her eyes on the gnome's soul, Jevoi slips out of her cloak and slowly crawls along the ground. She creeps around to the side of the old home.

L: I reckon, ya were still dressing like I had at that age. J: You dressed as a rogue to hide your wizardry; I dressed as one because I was one. We are not the same. L: And the wig? J: It's a good wig; it fits the outfit.

Jevoi spots a broken window, but feels Gank pulling her away. The shattered glass could hurt or, more importantly, make noise.

'Up,' thinks Gank, 'No one ever looks up.'

Unfortunately, Jevoi's boots prevent her from climbing the surface as fast or quietly as she could, so she continues around the house toward the backdoor.

L: And that's why we don't wear shoes, Dalini. J: You can fly, Mum.

Jevoi can see the soul of Tanglepork also approaching the house from the other side. She remains perfectly still, waiting for her target to approach. The ecstasy of an assassin, the eyes of a monster.

G: Rude. Those are my eyes.

Tanglepork slowly enters the open door frame and sneaks into the house with her weapon drawn. Jevoi sneaks in behind her as she enters into another room on a collision course with Luminița.

Carefully, Jevoi draws a knife from her side. It's sleek, sharp blade is etched with a vampiric rune and it's been far too long since she's had a chance to feed it. The black hilt is almost invisible in the dark forest home. Jevoi brings the knife into attack position; her heart beating rapidly, she slips closer to her target.

L: We heard it before: ya wanted to be an assassin. J: If you're going to force me to listen to your tangents about women; you should allow the same for my weapons.

The three women, all ready to strike, were getting dangerously close together. One must wonder who would strike first. None would suspect who it would be.

As Tanglepork enters the room Luminița hides in, Jevoi lunges for her. The lycan leaps out of her position at the gnome, who attempts to fire her gun, but her aim is thrown off by the floor collapsing beneath her. The other two fall in immediately after.