finally I got them all
kakyoin: and this is my room
jotaro: nice
kakyoin: hold on you have GOT to check this shit out
kakyoin: *turns off light and turns on huge uv lamp * my windows glow lol
jotaro: oh cool- wait. is that uranium glass
kakyoin: yes. cool right? made it myself
jotaro: how did you obtain this much uranium without being put on a government watch list
kakyoin: thats my fun little secret :) oh have you seen my lamp
jotaro: ... no I have not
kakyoin: come here look at it isn’t it so pretty? its made of pure cinnabar :)
jotaro: doesn’t cinnabar have lethal amounts of mercury in it. how did you even get this much of it
kakyoin: doesn’t matter do you know the history behind the color “paris green”?
jotaro: I don’t want to know
kakyoin: basically people back in the day were crazy party animals and used arsenic as a pigment for clothes and paints and called it paris green because the french are crazy or something i dont know. anyways I went to a really old abandoned paint store a while back to set it on fire but found a few cans of the stuff near the back with mold all over them and took them home and painted my room with it. my parents can no longer come in my room. we are in so much medical debt because of how often they have to go to the er for arsenic poisioning. luckily I’m their son and arsenic poisoning is nothing when you have to raise someone like me. anways do you want to listen to sting.
jotaro, hypersalivating: ok
*takes out my gougar counter and it starts going wild*
I bite into this burger, and the crunch can be heard miles away. All of my teeth are shattered and I can no longer eat
“Hamburger” by Song Wei