The Signs On their Period

THE SIGNS AS THE 7 DEMON PRINCES OF HELL

Lucifer (pride) - Leo, Aquarius

Beelzebub (envy) - Gemini, Virgo

Sathanus (wrath) - Aries, Sagittarius

Abaddon (sloth) - Pisces

Mammon (greed) - Capricorn

Belphegor (gluttony) - Taurus, Cancer

Asmodeus (lust) - Libra, Scorpio

THE SIGNS AS WEIRD LAWS IN THE U.S.

Aries: It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house. (Ohio)

Taurus: It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public. (Indiana)

Gemini: It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors. (Pennsylvania)

Cancer: Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs. (Arizona)

Leo: Prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates. (California)

Virgo: It is illegal to sell one’s eye. (Texas)

Libra: It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he/she got hurt in your house.(Michigan)

Scorpio: It is against the law to have sex with a corpse. (Illinois)

Sagittarius: Candy may not contain more than 1% of alcohol. (Massachusetts)

Capricorn: The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (New York)

Aquarius: It is illegal not to drink milk. (Utah)

Pisces: A person must be at least eighteen years old to play a pinball machine. (South Carolina)

The signs as learning types

Aries: Musical 

Taurus: Naturalistic 

Gemini: Fuck You 

Cancer: Intrapersonal 

Leo: Verbal-Linguistic 

Virgo: Interpersonal 

Libra: Bodily-Kinesthetic 

Scorpio: Murder

Sagittarius: Visual-Spatial 

Capricorn: Logical-Mathematical 

Aquarius: Intrapersonal

Pisces: Crying

The Signs as Ocean Life

Aries:Sharks Taurus:Seahorses Gemini:Stingrays Cancer:Hermit Crabs Leo:Dolphins Virgo:Starfish Libra:Clownfish Scorpio:Puffer Fish Sagittarius:Sea Turtles Capricorn:Octopuses Aquarius:Cuttlefish Pisces:Whales

The signs as parts of a house:

Aries: a protective fence Leo: Balcony Sagittarius: door knob Taurus: lamp Virgo: intercom Capricorn: secret door Gemini: mirror Libra: bean bag chair Aquarius: curtains Cancer: garden Scorpio: bookcase Pisces: skylight

/ forms of affection /

Hugs: Aries, Gemini, Cancer, Aquarius

Kisses: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Pisces

Handholding: Virgo, Libra, Capricorn

All of them: Sagittarius!!!!

brains of the signs

Aries: remember that one SpongeBob episode where everything was burning in his brain? x100000000

Taurus: FUCK OFF HEART YOU'RE GETTING IN THE WAY OF-- *heart assumes rights as ruler of their human host* okay now you can go and make a creepy shrine for ur crush that we've both been wanting

Gemini: ???????meme????????

Cancer: human wtf don't make me come out there and personally slap u

Leo: every bad pickup line ever on repeat

Virgo: Oh and then later in that SpongeBob episode where he's just lifeless after everything is burnt

Libra: always a song there and they can't get it out it's like they randomly burst into son--OOOH I THINK THAT I FOUND MYSELF A CHEEERLEEEEAAADDDDERRRR

Scorpio: fuck :) everything :)

Sagittarius: conflict between BRAIN NO and BRAIN YESSS

Capricorn: *trying to evilly laugh but chokes and then proceeds to cough violently for all eternity*

Aquarius: tumblr's shitposts

Pisces: oh. It's midnight. Time to relive every memory I've been trying to push down for the last million years.

Aries ~ Goddess of Dawn, Illumination and Awakening Taurus ~ Goddess of Earth Gemini ~ Goddess of Learning Cancer ~ Goddess of Lunar Mysteries Leo ~ Goddess of Sacred Love Virgo ~ Goddess of Healing and Curatives Libra ~ Goddess of Divine Feminine Power Scorpio ~ Goddess of the Dead Sagittarius ~ Goddess of Prophecy and Mythology Capricorn ~ Goddess of Divine Law and Order Aquarius ~ Goddess of the Cosmos and Astrology Pisces ~ Goddess of the Night

-C.

[art: Vaughn Pinpin]

new romantics

aries: "and every day is like a battle, but every night with us is like a dream."

taurus: "it's poker, he can't see it in my face but i'm about to play my ace."

gemini: "we're too busy dancing to get knocked off our feet."

cancer: "cause baby i could build a castle, out of all the bricks they threw at me."

leo: "the rumors are terrible and cruel but honey, most of them are true."

virgo: "we're all here, the lights and noise are blinding.

we hang back, it's all in the timing."

libra: "we play dumb, but we know exactly what we're doing."

scorpio: "we need love, but all we want is danger."

sagittarius: "we team up, and switch sides like a record changer."

capricorn: "we cry tears of mascara in the bathroom, honey, life is just a classroom."

aquarius: "we're so young, but we're on the road to ruin."

pisces: "heartbreak is the national anthem, we sing it proudly."

Sex, Drugs & Rock'n'Roll

Sex: Taurus, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio

Drugs: Gemini, Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces

Rock & Roll: Aries, Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius