Harry Potter Next Gen as modern family moments
Harry: *reading a letter from Teddy after he leaves for Hogwarts*
Ginny; Harry?
Harry: Make sure to take care Harry, I’ll miss you guys so much
Ginny; nice huh?
Harry, full on crying: Nice! Im gonna go mail him another robe
****
Hugo; you know that hero essay we have to write
Hermione: Mhmm, what about it
Hugo: Well dad kinda assumed I wrote it about him, but I didn’t
Hermione: don’t worry I’ll talk to him
Hugo; you don’t think he’ll be upset, I wrote it about you?
Hermione, touched: you wrote it about me?
Hugo; you know me, I didn’t think much. What’s a hero? Someone whose not afraid of anything and whose strong, that’s you
****
Bill: Im actually relieved, the day that I’ve been dreading. The day you two have finally have out grown me has finally arrived.
Bill, crying; I’m handling it really well.
Victoire: Dad are you crying?
Bill: No
Dominique: are you sure you’re okay?
Bill: Yep
Victoire: Oh Merlin he is crying
Dominique: I’ve never seen dad cry before.
Victoire, starting to cry: but dad if you cry then I’ll cry.
Bill, still crying: I’m not crying
Dominique, also crying; we made our dad cry
Bill: you totally did
Victoire: Because you are our daddy!
All three: *harsh crying and sobbing*
****
Ron and Hermione after Rose got a bump in the head.
Hermione: can we please just call your sister?
Ron: No way, Ginny will be all judgement and condescending, like she’s perfect and I don’t know how to take care of a baby
Hermione: Ronald, she is your family.
Ron: Right so-
Hermione picking up the phone: Of course she’ll be judgmental and condescending
****
Louis: I remember crashing through the wall and the ambulance ride to St Mungos
Bill: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you
Louis: then what was that siren?
Bill: that was your mother
Fleur: I ‘as worried!
****
Harry: I did not pick Lily up early from play school
Ginny: Lily, did Daddy pick you up early from school?
Lily: No
Harry: See? Case closed
Lily; we didn’t go
Ginny: Case open
Lily: we went shopping
Harry: Ha Ha, shush now, Lily-
Lily: we bought matching hats
****
George: Act like a parent, talk like a peer.
George: I call it “peer-renting”
****
Percy: There are very few parenting issues where I come out on top.
Percy; You know I’m distant. I work too much, my French braiding is sloppy
Percy: finally, something that isn’t my fault.
****
James: Whoa, you’re being a little-
Rose: Obstreperous? Recalcitrant? Truculent?
James: I was going to say “cray cray”
****
Ginny: Hermione and I are going to go on this beautiful hike while you all sit and think about how selfish and thoughtless you’ve been
Hermione: *nods in agreement*
Rose: if we’re thoughtless how can we think?
Ginny:…
Hermione: …..
****
James: In Legally blonde, Elle won her case because she was true to herself and dressed cute
Harry: James, this is real life, not an excellent movie
****
James: Al, before you say no-
Albus: No.
James: I haven’t even told you yet!
Albus: I’m sticking with no.
****
Ron: Marry someone who looks sexy, while disappointed
Hermione: *looks to Ron in disappointment*
Ron: see?
****
Ron: I’ll get you fixed up *bandages Hugo*
Hugo: Where’s mum?
Ron referring to Hermiones work: She belongs to the people now
Rose coming in: My allergies are acting up again
Ron giving her medicine: well it’s your lucky day, because missy, doctor dad is in the house
Rose: where’s mum?
Hugo: some people took her
Rose: …..
****
Dominique & Victoire arguing
Bill: Ah ah ah, let’s this in court, the food court. The honorable judge Cinnabon presiding
Victoire: That place smells like the inside of Louis Quidditch Robes
Dominique: I like the food court
Lily: me too
Bill: don’t worry girls. We’re not gonna deprive ourselves because of Victoires aversion
Dominique: *cackles*
Victoire: ….
Bill: …..
Dominique suddenly stops: Oh, Victoires aversion, I thought you said-
Victoire shakes her head rapidly
Dominique: Never mind
Bill 0-0 *slowly realizes*
****
Angelina walking until she slips on eggs
Angelina: Fred! Why?
Fred: Im making my egg dropping project
Angelina: maybe don’t make such a mess in the hallway
Fred: Got it! What if I’m the container!
Angelina: there’s a thought- wait no Fred!
Fred, on the edge of the stairs with Roxy putting an egg in his mouth
****
Fleur: What a wonderful dinner
Bill: I’m impressed
Teddy with his arm around Vic: Thanks next time let’s do it at our place
Victoire realizing he accidentally told them they’re moving in together
Louis: I’m in, just give us a owl to let me know
Bill: our place?
Victoire: Well since I’m finished school now, Teddy and I were thinking of getting a flat
Bill: I-
Louis: are you doing sex?
****
Hugo: I’m moving into the attic
James: Cool
Albus: The attic?
Hugo: Hey, at least it’s big, Teddy said you used to live in a closet
Albus: *gay silence*
****
Ron taking care of Rose alone
Hermione over the phone; Keep an eye on rose she has a tendency to wander off
Ron realizing Rose did exactly that: ‘Mione I’m completely capable of-
Hermione: You lost her didn’t you?
Ron: No no no, she is right here, hi honey
Hermione: I can it in your voice, check the dairy case
Ron finding her and trying to open the door: Do you honestly think-
Hermione: doors don’t pull they slide
****
high school yearbook awards → best bromance
James: What if something happens to Sirius and he never gets to meet my baby?
Remus: James-
James: I don't want to hang out with some stupid baby who's never met Sirius
everybody has to do their part. as a reference, this was posted on 1 june 2020. if any links are broken or direct to a place they should not, please feel free to add on with corrections. if there is new information with better knowledge, please feel free to share. thank you.
do not donate to shaun king. he has repeatedly collected money to “support” black people, but no one knows where the money is.
BAIL FUNDS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; NOT A COMPREHENSIVE LIST)
note: washington dc and new jersey have cashless bail systems.
bail fund google doc (also includes lawyers for protestors)
national bail fund network (directory of community bail funds)
community bail funds masterpost by @keplercryptids
resistance funds (google sheets; lists bail funds around the country)
nationwide bail funds (split a donation to the bail funds listed on the linked page with a single transaction)
atlanta bail fund
brooklyn bail fund
colorado freedom fund
columbus freedom fund
houston chapter of black lives matter
liberty fund (nyc based; focuses services on people from low-income communities)
los angeles freedom fund
louisville community fund
massachusetts bail fund
minnesota freedom fund (as of may 30, 2020, they are encouraging people to donate elsewhere since they have raised enough money; as of may 29, 2020, they do not have a venmo, as some fraudulent accounts have been claiming, source)
philadelphia bail out fund
richmond bail fund
MORE PLACES TO DONATE
note: more links are listed in the masterposts below.
northstar health collective (healthcare and medical aid for people on the front lines)
reclaim the block (aims to redistribute police funding to help the minneapolis community)
twin cities dsa (provides fresh groceries and hot meals to people in minneapolis)
it isn’t enough to sign petitions and reblog/retweet/etc. nonblack people, including people of color, owe it to black people to educate themselves and correct themselves and the people around them on anti-blackness.
note: more links are in the masterposts linked below.
resources and tools regarding racism and anti-blackness (google sheets compilation)
readings on society, racism, the prison system, etc. (twitter thread)
“where do we go after ferguson?” by michael eric dyson
official black lives matter website
people need supplies to protest safely, and even if they bring supplies with them, they can often run out. if you’re able, stock up and hand them out to people protesting. for more supplies to donate, see the “george floyd action” google docs link in section 5.
water bottles (dehydration and heatstroke are not things people should have to deal with alongside bastard cops. if the police in your area are particularly violent or known to use tear gas, get the ones with the sports cap/suction-thing/etc so people can use them as emergency eye-flushes.)
snacks (make sure to take into account that people have allergies of all sorts. foods will have a little label that says “may contain” and then list any potential allergens. write the allergens on the ziploc (or any container you use) in permanent marker, or better yet, write the snacks included in the pack.)
masks (don’t forget there’s still a pandemic going on. also it will aid in deterring facial recognition when the police try to track down protestors, also part two, if the cops use tear gas, wearing a mask (with the combination of a scarf or bandana) will lessen the adverse effects. lessen, not stop.)
bandanas, scarves, etc. and goggles (ski goggles, swimming goggles, etc.) (see above for explanation on the scarves. same goes for the goggles. anti–tear gas and anti–facial recognition.)
clean shirts (for people who are heavily gassed. also helps deter recognition through clothing.)
wound care supplies (band-aids, packets of neosporin packets or a similar antibiotic, alcohol wipes, etc.; if you can, decant bactine into those little travel bottles.)
a sharpie or another type of marker (for writing bail numbers or emergency contacts on arms, hands, etc. it’s not enough to have your city’s bail fund number stored on your phone; the police won’t give it to you to look it up. give people a marker so they can write it down, preferably not washable so it isn’t easily removed.)
IMPORTANT: KNOWING FIRST AID
tear gas: if you’re hit, get out as fast and as soon as you can. take anyone you can with you. the longer you’re in the gas, the harder it will be for you to see, and it can irritate your airways, making it hard to breathe. if you’re hit, don’t run; it’ll only make things worse on your lungs. when you leave the area, take a cold shower. don’t use hot water (it will only reactivate the agent); don’t bathe (it will only spread the CS around). (source 1) (source 2) (cdc fact sheet on tear gas)
move them to a clean and ventilated area where it’s as safe as possible.
ask them if they’re wearing contact lenses. have them remove it. if they’re wearing glasses, rinse it with water.
solution of half liquid antacid, half water. spray from the inside going out, with the head tilted back and slightly towards the side being rinsed. if they say it’s okay, open the eye slightly while doing this. (source)
bullet wounds: the most important thing is to stop the bleeding. be sure to check for an exit wound and cover that as well. treat both wounds, but treat the worse one first.
stop the bleed (youtube video by uc san diego health)
first aid in active shooting scenarios
making a tourniquet (a commercial tourniquet is best, but improvised ones can work as well if done properly; the most important things to remember is that tourniquets are for limb injuries and are not meant for the head or torso and that they have to be very tightly wound on the injury.)
how to apply pressure dressings
miscellaneous
adult cpr tutorial (youtube video by cincinnati children’s; think of “staying alive” by the beegees or “uptown funk”)
be responsible with this. people’s lives are at stake. that being said, the media is a fucking joke and the best way to get accurate information in a grassroots rebellion is amongst ourselves. record everything, but if you are going to share any information at all, be sure to blur people’s faces.
signal (encrypted messenger app; messages delete after x amount of time): app store | google play
tool for scrubbing metadata from images and selectively blurring identifiable features
tech tips to protect yourself while protesting (by rey.nbows on tiktok, via vicent_efl on twitter)
cop spotting 101 (google docs)
know your rights (by personachuu on twitter)
NUMBERS TO CALL FOR ARRESTED PROTESTORS (ALPHABETICAL ORDER; SOURCES LINKED TO THE NUMBER)
remember to keep phones OFF unless absolutely necessary. cell phone towers, stingrays, location notifs can all be used to track you and other protestors. don’t fuck around. if your phone must be on, keep it on airplane mode as often as possible and only communicate using encrypted methods. no, snapchat doesn’t count. (a twitter thread on stingrays, for those interested)
lawyers assisting protestors pro-bono (by riyakatariax on twitter)
atlanta: 404-689-1519
chicago: 773-309-1198
minneapolis: 612-444-2654
masterpost of petitions to sign, numbers to call, places to donate, and more (carrd by dehyedration on twitter)
#blacklivesmatter (google docs by ambivaIcnt on twitter; includes information on relevant events, other masterposts, lists of petitions and donation links, how to protest safely and protests to go to, and more)
george floyd action (google docs; includes information on apps to download, supplies to buy and donate, places to donate to, protest safety, resources on unlearning racial bias, and more)
how to get out of ziptie “handcuffs” (by finnianj on tiktok, via katzerax on twitter)
how can i help? by @abbiheartstaylor
how to make a signal-blocking cell phone pouch
tips for protestors by @aurora00boredealis
twitter thread for protestors (by vantaemuseum on twitter)
also, if you’re protesting, change your passcode. make it at least 11 characters long and don’t use facial/thumb recognition.
John Murphy:
Echo:
Bellamy Blake:
Clarke Griffin:
Emori:
Raven Reyes:
King Roan:
Do you want to quote more Shakespeare in your life but never find opportunities to say “brevity is the soul of wit”? Do you rarely hang below balconies exchanging love vows with the daughter of your enemy? This is just the list for you. “What an ass am I!” —Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2 “I am not a slut,” —As You Like It, Act 3, Scene 3 (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) “Hell is empty and all the devils are here,” —The Tempest, Act 1, Scene 2 “Commit the oldest sins the newest kind of ways,” —Henry IV Part 2, Act 4, Scene 5 “This is the excellent foppery of the world,”
–King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2
“Making the beast with two backs,” —Othello, Act 1, Scene 1 “The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool,” —As You Like It, Act 5, Scene 1 “To tell thee plain, I aim to lie with thee,” —Henry VI Part 3, Act 3, Scene 2 (Works great for courting hot widows.) “I would rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me,” —Much Ado About Nothing, Act 1, Scene 1 “I wasted time, and now doth time waste me,” —Richard II, Act 5, Scene 5 “Marry, sir, in her buttocks.” —A Comedy of Errors, Act 2, Scene 5 (No judgement here.) “My horse is my mistress,” —Henry V, Act 3, Scene 7 (Uh, there might be something wrong with that.) “Thou dost infect my eyes,” —Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2 “Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit,” —Twelfth Night, Act 1, Scene 5 (“Wit” is Shakespearean slang for penis.) “[Wine] provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance,” —Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 3 “I had rather live with cheese and garlic in a windmill, far, than feed on cates and have him talk to me in any summer-house in Christendom,” —Henry IV Part 2, Act 4 Scene 1 “Now, gods, stand up for bastards!” —King Lear, Act 1, Scene 2 “Villain, I have done thy mother!” —Titus Andronicus, Act 4, Scene 2 (This means exactly what you think it does.) “And thou unfit for any place but hell,” —Richard III, Act 1, Scene 2 “The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers,” —Henry VI Part 2, Act 4, Scene 2
“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.” —Othello, Act 4, Scene 2
“Out, dunghill!” —King John, Act 4, Scene 3 “This is too long.” —Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2
Because I know this has been sold out for a while and it’s not fair to those who couldn’t get a copy: The Waterstones special edition Chain of Thorns extra —
Anyone who wants to help transcribe it would be very welcome!
‘You ran away from home?’ ‘When I was about sixteen,’ said Sirius. ‘I’d had enough.’ ‘Where did you go?’ said Harry, staring at him. ‘Your dad’s place,’ said Sirius. ‘Your grandparents were really good about it; they sort of adopted me as a second son.’
(and I know this set will probably be confusing to some people since a lot of people like Kristin Scott Thomas as Walburga but she’s always been Mrs. Potter to me)
Those in the common room:
Ron:
Hermione:
Dean:
Romilda:
Seamus: (he likes dean ̶l̶i̶k̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶i̶s̶n̶’̶t̶ ̶o̶b̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ )
Neville:
Luna: (Ik she’s ravenclaw but I imagined she was there too *-*)
Lee:
The rest of the gryffindors:
Outside the common room:
Fred and Geroge:
Molly:
Arthur:
Bill:
Charlie:
Cho:
Lupin and Tonks:
McGonagall:
Dumbledore:
Hagrid:
Professor Slughorn:
In heaven:
Lily, James and Sirius:
Insp