Valentine's Day - 1

Late

I feel like it’s too late to accomplish much- I’m already too deep into my school year to turn around my bio grade, I’m already too old to have a completely new personality- I’m already too late to think that I can do everything I sset my heart to. I wish things worked out as wonderful as they do in the Disney movies, the novels, and the webcomics- but maybe I feel like I should wake up from my delusions?

Who knows. I’ts too late.

Caramel

Workload and toffee

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and not for any good reason, being entirely honest. Once summer school fizzled out of existence, the days have been blurring together; suddenly there’s only a week until real school starts up again.

I’ve been working a lot today, and, thanks to my unhealthy way of working for extended periods of time and not feeling any different than from lying in bed, am able to cram my entire online French summer course in the next five days. 

Although the work itself is mundane, taking a third-person view on the entire ordeal excites me. I’ve started to work like the kid I’ve always wanted to be: Hours at a desk, chewing gum or drinking genmatcha tea, sometimes picking up the phone and chatting while I work when one of my friends calls me. I’ve even found about 300 index cards to write down daily goals and to-do lists!

Feels weird to congratulate myself on this kind of work even though I don’t feel any different than when I’m not doing any work at all. It’s like this for pretty much all the work I do, which is confusing since it always takes me hours to start any tasks even though actually doing it is a walk in the park. I’ve heard that that’s a form of lingering depression, but being entirely honest, I don’t think I’m that depressed  anymore. And even if it is sticking around, I’ve already beaten it to the ground the first time. What’s another round than just adding to the pot?

I’ve really been feeling better as of today. Still not sure why. Maybe it’s because of the toffee I made for my sister and I yesterday? It’s so sweet and doesn’t go with my tea, but it’s just fine with my morning coffee. I guess I’ll get to the bottom of this soon. For now, it’s right around 03:00- so I probably have to sleep in order to continue grinding through my French course tomorrow.

Goodnight!!

<3 Caramel

hi

hi markus

I really need a hug.

I'm so tired, but it's almost over... But I'm so, so tired.

I took a photo of my dog today and spent the rest of the night distracted from my work (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

They think I'm busy and enigmatic and unavailable but I just can't control myself and keep eating foods that give me digestive issues

Studying with my friend Julia ♡

Nothing beats a tiramisu to keep tiredness at bay

Your blog and photography are beautiful! I really love looking through and seeing how you spend your days.

-💤💖

!!! Omg thank you so much TT

This was really encouraging! I'll keep posting pretty pictures, okay? Thank you, I love you!!

/silly <3<3

PFFF BAHHAHAA I REALLY NEED TO GET OFF THIS SITE AND FOCUS ON MY STUDIES

This made my day, thank you <3

No battery, works just fine

Woke up at noon today and decided to spend whatever scraps of energy I have left trying to clean my room. It's a real mess. Hopefully, though, I can have a proper cleanout- and maybe arrange it in a way that suits my dream! Or at least, the starting dream in a line of many.

I'll make updates on my room during the few days I'll spend making it completely different- so I can look back on it and hopefully see all the hard work that was put into it!

See that, life?! I'm still burnt out, but I'm going to keep working- I'll be getting straight 98s like my sister by the end of the year, I swear!!