Music Player Added!!

I took a photo of my dog today and spent the rest of the night distracted from my work (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)

Small town syndrome in a big, big, city?

My grandma dropped something off for me to eat, she kept asking me questions about my sister. Everyone's proud of my sister- and for good reason, I guess. She always wears nice clothes, keeps all her grades in the 98s or so, and wins a ton of RG competitions.

It feels even worse eating fast food now, thinking of what I could have been. What an extraordinary family, with such a failure slapped into it. I need an escape from this life, I think.

It feels a lot like the 'small town syndrome' that people who live far from big cities and stores get, the feeling of "I need to get out of here".

Thank goodness it's spring break, though- now I have time to clean myself up from all this garbage I've surrounded myself with.

I really hope I can- I'll pack together all the motivation and energy I have left into this one project.

Millionth time’s the charm!!

WOAH that was a weird time jump.

I’m gonna start working on myself again lol

It’s been too long and I don’t feel happy living like this so I’m going to start trying again!! Gotta work towards the life you want. Nothing comes for free, right?

I feel like I need that mindset that I see in disney movies and idol anime. Where do they get all their energy? Guess I’ll find out.

It's one of those days when eating alone feels extra lonely. I eat, but I'm not hungry. Nobody's sitting across from me, and the only sounds I hear are the leaves rustling in the wind outside.

One day, I'll make sure that none of us feel lonely again. We'll sit together, play games, drink soda, and laugh.

lol I really thought I was going to get in trouble with my parents for a bit but it was just turned into a life lesson jesus chris t that was a trip 

i am done with life for a little bit thank you very much please let me live out the rest of this week with nothing but hugs and cuddles it’s what I really need thank you

-Caramel

I'm sorry dear professor but finishing this paper goes against my existence as a person and because of this I will not be doing it

Matcha and adzuki bean mochi after a tasty omakase.

Omg yes it was!! Thank you for the latte silly ♡♡ it was sweet, like you!! (⁠´⁠ε⁠｀⁠ ⁠)

Yeah, I've been pretty busy — have a chemistry exam in about ten hours tonight, so hoping for the best on that one ... But once I'm through with it, there's only one more exam to go!!!

I'm so proud of you Pico, sorry I haven't been online lately but I just checked your blog today and saw the effort you've been putting in!! You've got this ୧⁠(⁠＾⁠ ⁠〰⁠ ⁠＾⁠) I'm here trying to get myself together too!!

Caramel!!!!(๑ > ᴗ < ๑)°ᡣ𐭩 . ° . !! Hiii how are ur studies going?? Hopefully u aren't pushing urself too hard<3<3

Oh my goodness, thank you for checking up on me!! I really appreciate it (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠) ♡ Life has been crazy as of late, between school and family events and festivals... I'll post some photos of how things have been!

Thank you so much, by the way. I had no energy to post until I saw your message. I love you!!! How are you doing these days??

Who, me?

I’m not depressed. I don’t think I’m depressed. I don’t feel depressed.

So why does everything point to me being depressed? I can’t even keep up a personal blog, which kinda sucks :/

Recently, I stumbled upon a little text-adventure game that pretty much summed up how I was feeling for the last two years or so- I can definitely turn my life around, but I just don’t. Maybe it’s a choice. Maybe it’s something I can’t control. Who knows. I blame laziness, mostly, but I’d suppose that’s a bandaid on the entire situation. I’m probably just a coward for responsibility. Here’s the game, by the way: http://www.depressionquest.com/dqfinal.html

I guess I do have my moments where everything feels like it’ll turn around and I’ll have a completely new life and all that, but I don’t think I’ve ever followed through. Sure, I definitely can make things better, but sometimes things just don’t work out. 

Hope I can do what it takes, though- I’m really banking on the hope I can clean up my own mess and pick up my slack. Being able to make choices for myself I like, having the energy to accomplish simple tasks like doing my homework and agreeing to go out with my friends. It sounds so wonderful to live without this barrier. Please, please, please. God, I just need this one wish. I’d absolutely love to live with energy and the ability to go out and do what I want to, what’s good for me- God, please, I’m sorry I didn’t have faith, I just need this one thing. Please help me out, please listen to my prayers now. I’m sorry. I really want to live without this.

Fresh air

I'm not sure if it's just the maturity and thoughts that come with growing up, but recently so much of my mind has been taken up with thoughts and plans for the future- finally being able to accomplish goals and dreams I've had forever. Opportunities opening up to fulfill empty wishes and feelings I've had for as long as I remember, and finally being old enough to work on them- yet somehow still young enough to keep my dreams alive. Feels like I've stepped above the clouds.

Is anyone else feeling like this? Is this how growing up feels like?

There's so much I want to do and so little time, but maybe I can prioritize and ration myself to each and every thing I'd like to accomplish, maybe I can live more than I've ever thought I could.

When I'm all old and grey, I'm going to miss this feeling of growing up. It's alright, though- I'll make sure to treasure it as it passes.

<3 Caramel