HEARTBREAKING: Poor Girl Has To Get Out Of The Soft Warm Bed Even Though She Is So So So So Comfy

idk

I think I’m going to lose it honestly, not in the angry sort of way but just in the way where I’m so tired and there’s so much I haven’t done and it’s pretty hopeless at this point.

idk what I was thinking when I thought maybe I could turn this around but honestly so much has piled up already I don’t think I can do much

maybe it’s time to wait for another time to do this. Maybe when it’s less busy lol. I could really use a hug but idk if I’ll take it alright but I have my pillow so ig that’s okay

I’ve got quite a few things due tomorrow that I haven’t even started yet and I’m in some pretty deep stuff with my parents so no support over there. Christ I wish I were younger because then I’d be able to say I’m too young for this

I miss it already

look upon your sins

Need your favourite vegetable

And thoughts on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS)

carrot

kinda based

Workload and toffee

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, and not for any good reason, being entirely honest. Once summer school fizzled out of existence, the days have been blurring together; suddenly there’s only a week until real school starts up again.

I’ve been working a lot today, and, thanks to my unhealthy way of working for extended periods of time and not feeling any different than from lying in bed, am able to cram my entire online French summer course in the next five days. 

Although the work itself is mundane, taking a third-person view on the entire ordeal excites me. I’ve started to work like the kid I’ve always wanted to be: Hours at a desk, chewing gum or drinking genmatcha tea, sometimes picking up the phone and chatting while I work when one of my friends calls me. I’ve even found about 300 index cards to write down daily goals and to-do lists!

Feels weird to congratulate myself on this kind of work even though I don’t feel any different than when I’m not doing any work at all. It’s like this for pretty much all the work I do, which is confusing since it always takes me hours to start any tasks even though actually doing it is a walk in the park. I’ve heard that that’s a form of lingering depression, but being entirely honest, I don’t think I’m that depressed  anymore. And even if it is sticking around, I’ve already beaten it to the ground the first time. What’s another round than just adding to the pot?

I’ve really been feeling better as of today. Still not sure why. Maybe it’s because of the toffee I made for my sister and I yesterday? It’s so sweet and doesn’t go with my tea, but it’s just fine with my morning coffee. I guess I’ll get to the bottom of this soon. For now, it’s right around 03:00- so I probably have to sleep in order to continue grinding through my French course tomorrow.

Goodnight!!

<3 Caramel

I miss the girl I used to be

Wishing the apocalypse started right now, ruining billions of lives and throwing the world into irreversible chaos because I'd rather hide from zombies and eat scraps than do a midterm for two hours

" It's not dango, it's tongjyun!! 💢💢 "

My study snack today, I thought they would be cuter if I drew them faces ^^

Pacing

I've got to get myself into order. Instead of having manic highs and depressive lows every couple weeks, I should really be balancing out whatever I'm feeling instead.

Been feeling not too great the past and pretty confused for the past while due to trying to make sense of social stuff but honestly today I'm feeling a little better

Also today I feel halfway okay about my appearance so I'm pretty glad about that

Wondering how summer school's going to be on monday

Caramel

Your blog and photography are beautiful! I really love looking through and seeing how you spend your days.

-💤💖

!!! Omg thank you so much TT

This was really encouraging! I'll keep posting pretty pictures, okay? Thank you, I love you!!

MEW WELCOME BACK MISSED UUUUUU >⩊< CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR ABOUT UR PROJECT♡♡

Thank you picopico!!! Also, thank you for your wonderful messages, they made me feel so remembered and loved (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠)

I need to clean up a few things and do a little drawing but hopefully will have something to show in... Two weeks? But from now until then, I'll be posting regularly!!!