My Mind Is In Shambles 😭

My mind is in shambles 😭

I Didn't Know Where Else To Go (Jake Seresin x Reader) Part 5 (Final)

*REUPLOAD*

Hi Angels! I'm back! Sadly, this is in fact the last part of my story. I do have an epilogue coming later this week however. Please go see this post to vote on my next fic.

Summary: Jake Seresin is the person you hate most in the world, until he's all you have left. (idk i'm so bad at these)

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader (for a very short period of time) Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Natasha "Phoenix" Trace (again briefly. not sure how much of this I'll write), Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Reader (eventually)

Warnings: fighting, mentions of blood and injuries, emotional trauma.

Word Count: 3105

No one moved an inch to stop the two, both out of sheer shock and curiosity of how it was going to play out. Bradley had recovered from the punch Jake threw, blood starting to drip from his nose and hit back. Jake stumbled back in surprise before it became a full blown fight. 

Fists were being thrown, your hand was over your mouth in shock. You weren’t expecting any of this. Bradley had Jake on the ground and was on top of him, getting in a few good hits to Jake’s face. 

“Stop, get off him!” You called out. The sound of your voice snapped Jake back into reality, the fight was flipped and suddenly Jake was on top. His face was cold and emotionless as he punched Bradley. At this point you were so scared of what could happen, you jumped into action. You rushed to pull Jake off of Bradley and caught Jake’s elbow to your face as he pulled back for another punch. 

You fell backward with an oof. This caused everyone else to snap out of their shock and trance and Coyote pulled Jake off Bradley. Bob helped you up as Fanboy grabbed Bradley. Your hand wiped at your bloody lip and you looked at Jake. Javy had let him go but his fists were still clenched. Mickey and Natasha had whisked Bradley out of the room and you sighed. Bob looked you over, you nodded at him to let him know you were okay.

Jake was shaking with rage. He wanted to kill Bradley, and he was damn close if he hadn’t been pulled off. How dare Bradley say those things about you after what he did to you. You. The fog in his brain cleared slightly. Jake turned around to find you. You were positioned so that Bob was blocking you while he checked you over.

Bob moved to the side to grab something and Jake’s face fell. He tried to recall what happened that could have given you a bloody lip. A sick feeling washed over him as he realized he had been so caught up in the moment that it was him who had hurt you. Jake’s feet moved before he realized they were moving.

A hand touched your cheek softly, a thumb brushing over your lip. You looked up at Jake. You gasped at the state of his face. There was already a bruise forming on his eye and cheek, blood was dripping out of his nose and the cut over his eyebrow looked rough. The look in Jake’s eyes was haunted.

“Jake, are you okay?” Your voice was shaky. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.” You took the hand that was on your face and pulled him to your office where you kept a first aid kit. Jake was tense and silent the whole way.

Jake sat in one of the chairs across from your desk, watching you closely. You licked your lips, tasting copper as you grabbed the kit and a bottle of water from your cabinet in the corner. Jake was inspecting his knuckles when you walked back over, they were cut and red, bruises were definitely going to form. He opened and closed his fists with a grimace as you set out the things you needed from the kit.

You stood between Jake’s legs, using the water bottle to wet some gauze, gently wiping at his hands. You inspected them, making sure nothing was broken and the cuts were superficial. His mind was racing with ways to apologize for hurting you. He felt like he was no better than Bradley at that moment.

Your hands moved to lift his chin so you could see his face. You carefully worked the gauze over his face, careful not to hurt him. Jake’s hands were on your hips, it felt like they were burning your skin. You were done cleaning his face but you didn’t want to admit it, you didn’t want him to move his hands.

“‘M sorry.” He finally spoke, meeting your eyes. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Jake’s voice was low and raspy, one of his hands leaving your waist to grab the gauze from your hand. Jake pulled you down to sit on his lap.

 You withheld a gasp as you balanced yourself on his thigh. Jake wiped at your mouth with the gauze before throwing it in the trash. You grabbed his hands and ran your fingers over his knuckles.

“It was an accident Jake.” A frown crossed your features. “But why did you start a fight with him? Do you know how much trouble you could get in? You could be kicked out of the Navy for this. And that’s if he doesn’t press charges. You could go to jail, Jake. I’m not worth all that.” You sighed, squeezing his hands. When you moved to get off his lap, he pulled you back down.

“Stop. Don’t say things like that.” Jake’s frown matched yours. “Darlin, he can't just talk to you like that. I had to defend your honor.” You giggled, putting your hand on his cheek. “I don’t know what happened, but when he said that to you I saw red. And then I hurt you, which honestly makes me no better than him.” His voice cracked.

You brought your face closer to his, making sure he was looking you in the eye. “Jake, you are so much better than he is. It was an accident. I swear I’m okay.” You reassured him, putting your forehead against his. Jake let go of your hands, putting one on your cheek and the other on your waist.

“I’m still sorry.” His thumb brushed across your lip. “You got hurt because of me.”

“Jake, stop. It’s okay.”

He slowly moved closer, his lips brushing yours. Your breath got caught in your throat and you put your hands on his chest, gripping his shirt. You felt his heart pounding under your palm, yours was beating just as fast. 

“Tell me to stop. If you don’t tell me to stop right now I’m going to kiss you.” Jake breathed. Your mind was consumed with a struggle. You wanted him to kiss you, no you needed him to kiss you. But there was so much holding you back. You had broken up with Bradley only the night before, up until last night, you and Jake hated each other. Now you were confused.

It took you everything in your power to pull away from him. You closed your eyes and sucked in a breath. Running your fingers through your hair, you opened your eyes again, searching his. Jake’s gaze was burning you from the inside out. He squeezed your hip before dropping his hands.

“Jake I-” he cut you off by standing up.

“Don’t worry about it.” He sniffed, clearing his throat. Jake’s jaw was set. He wanted to kiss you, wanted to be the kind of man who deserved you. Clearly you still only saw him as the asshole who you couldn’t stand. Honestly, Jake couldn’t remember ever feeling so embarrassed,

You sat on the edge of your desk, head in your hands. You sighed and looked toward Jake. He looked upset. It felt like you could see the walls that had slowly been crumbling being built back up.

“Just let me know when you’re ready to leave. I’ll make up the guest room for you. You can stay with me for a while.” Jake started to walk out of the room.

“Wait!” You called after him, standing from your desk. He turned around, raising his eyebrows. “Shut the door please.”

“Ashamed?” Jake shut the door behind him, leaning against it and crossing his arms. You took a few cautious steps closer to him before speaking.

“No.” You chucked dryly. “Everyone has heard enough of my business. I don’t need them hearing what I’m about to say.” You rubbed your hands together, looking at the floor. It took you a couple minutes before you could speak again. Jake’s eyes remained glued to you, fighting the urge to reach out and touch you.

“I want to kiss you. Maybe too much.” You felt your cheeks burning while you spoke. A burst of courage raced through you when you made eye contact with Jake. “Pulling away from you just now was so incredibly hard. But Jake, I just broke up with Bradley less than 24 hours ago. I’m still trying to figure this all out. My life is a mess. I’m a fucking mess.” Tears were flowing freely from your eyes. “You deserve better than that. Let me figure out where I need to go from here. Give me time to heal.”

“Come here.” Jake pushed himself off the door, walking toward you. He wrapped his arms around you tightly. “Tell me when you’re ready.” You nodded against his chest, looking up at him.

“I don’t expect you to wait for me, Jake. I don’t know when I’ll be ready. I don’t want to hold you back from happiness”

“You’re worth it.” Jake placed a kiss to your temple. You squeezed your eyes closed, sighing softly. You never wanted this moment to end. Unfortunately a knock on your office door cut it short. You pulled away from Jake, straightening yourself.

You cleared your throat, calling to the visitor to come in. It left you stunned when the door opened to reveal Bradley behind the door. Jake tensed next to you. You placed a hand on his bicep to calm him down. Bradley stepped in the room cautiously.

Your eyes went wide as you took in his face. He definitely got it worse than Jake. Both his eyes were starting to bruise, more were littering his cheeks and jaw. His lips had dried blood on them and his nose definitely looked a little crooked.

“Y/N, uh can I talk to you?” Bradley stuttered nervously. Jake stepped in front of you, blocking you from Bradley’s view.

“Not a chance in hell, Rooster.” Jake clenched his fists by his side, nearly unable to stop himself from hitting Bradley again. 

“I just need to apologize, Hangman. I swear that’s it.” Bradley’s voice was shaky, nearly begging. Jake started to speak again but you moved to stand in front of him, putting your hands on his chest.

“Jake, look at me.” He turned the glare directed at Bradley toward you and his face softened instantly. “Let him talk to me, it’s okay.”

Jake nodded. “Gotta get some work done anyway.” He walked out of the room, but not without bumping Bradley’s shoulder and shooting him a glare on the way out.

“Can I sit?” Bradley asked quietly. You nodded, gesturing to the chair Jake had previously occupied, sitting in the seat next to it. Bradley sat down, making sure to keep his distance. You grabbed an ice pack that you forgot to give Jake and handed it to Bradley.

“He got you pretty good.” You dryly joked as he put the ice pack up to his eye.

“I’d like to think I got a few good hits in.” He joked back. A silence sat between the two of you for a while. Bradley sighed, setting the ice pack down on his lap.

“I really messed up.” He sighed, shaking his head.

“Understatement of the century.” You muttered under your breath. A pained look crossed his features.

“I’m sorry. For hurting you. What happened, it was never supposed to be that way. I had a crush on Natasha when I first met her. I never had the balls to ask her out when you showed up. You took my breath away. I hadn’t seen her in years until we got called back to Top Gun. And when I saw her again it felt like something was unfinished. I thought what if? So we went for it.” You felt your heart breaking with every word he said.

“So you cheated on me because you thought you might be in love with my best friend. How long was this going on before I caught you?” You kept a blank look on your face and pulled your leg away from his touch.

“Since the day we got called back to Top Gun.” He whispered. “It started out just testing the waters. We didn’t start sleeping together until after you’d moved here with me.”

You scoffed. “I can’t believe this.”

“Baby, please. I still love you. I want to fix this between us.” You gave him a disgusted look, standing up and backing away from him. “Let’s work on us. I promise I’ll never hurt you like that again. What happened with Natasha is over. Love me again and I swear we can be happy. I can make you happy.” Bradley stood up, taking a step toward you. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box.

“I bought you this ring a few months back. I was going to propose when I got back from the mission but then things with Natasha started and I was confused.” Bradley got down on one knee and opened the box. You panicked, shaking your head.

“Bradley, no.” You sighed, shutting the box in his hand. “What the hell are you thinking?” A look of disappointment crossed his features as he stood, putting the box back in his pocket. “Seriously, using a proposal against me to try to get me back? That’s low Bradley.”

“I’m sorry.” Bradley sniffed, offering a smile.

“I know. But I think we both know it’s done. The damage is done. I can’t be with you anymore, Bradley. I think a piece of me will always have some love for you. But I’m not in love with you anymore. And I have to take some time for myself. I hope one day you and I can be friends.” You grabbed his hands and helped him stand. “Just give me time.”

Bradley nodded sadly, squeezing your hands. “So you and Jake huh?” You giggled, looking down at your feet. You shrugged your shoulders, redness tinted your cheeks.

“Something like that. Who knew he could be so nice?” You smiled widely at Bradley who returned your grin.

“You two together?”

“Nah. I need some time to heal first before I see where things go with him. I’m not ready to trust again.” Bradley’s smile faltered slightly at the allusion to what he had done but he quickly recovered.

“I can stay with Nat while we get the house thing figured out. It was my fault anyway. You shouldn’t have to suffer.” You shook your head.

“Jake offered to make up his guest room for me. I don’t want to make you stay somewhere else.” You furrowed your brows.

“Honestly, I don’t think I can live in the house after everything. It reminds me of you and what I did. I can’t wake up and face the remnants of you every day.” He sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

“Are you sure, Bradley? I don’t want to kick you out.” Bradley nodded.

"House is all yours. I’ll look at apartments and get my stuff out of your way.”

“Thank you.” You felt bad about it but you knew you’d need space to heal. You also wouldn't be able to decide what to do about Jake if you didn’t get out of his house. You’re already too tempted to kiss him as it is.

“Can I hug you?” He asked hopefully. You shook your head, pulling your hands away. 

“I’m not ready for that step yet. The wound is too fresh and you just asked me to marry you for God's sake. We can be friendly, Bradley but I can’t be friends right now.” Bradley looked sad as he took a step away.

“Yeah I get it.” He clasped his hands in front of him, looking at you. Bradley was confused about so much right now. One thing he was sure about however, is that he was still madly in love with you. Seeing you pull away from him, watching you start to fall for Jake, that killed him. His heart was breaking more and more. You were the love of his life and his best friend, you’d been there for so long he wasn’t convinced he’d really be able to survive without you.

But he loved you so much he knew he had to let you go. Maybe one day if things were right you’d come back to him, he told himself. Bradley knew deep down that wasn’t true. It hurt too much in that moment to believe anything else, so he chose to suffer silently in his fantasy world for a while.

“I’ve gotta get some work done. But thank you for letting me talk to you. Let me take tonight to grab some of my stuff and the house is yours.” He sent you a small smile before leaving. You sat at your desk and stared at the wall for a few minutes, mind racing. Bradley was your everything for a long time. You two were best friends and lovers. Hearing his laugh would make your day, a smile from him lit up the room. Being in his arms was the safest place you could think of.

Now you wanted to keep a safe distance. You could see a future where the two of you were amicable, maybe even friends. You knew you could forgive him. Even after all this, even after the audacity of him trying to propose to you to get you back, you knew you wouldn’t be able to stay mad at him forever. You just weren’t that kind of person. 

You thought about Natasha. Other than Bradley she was your best friend. You wondered why she, knowing you and Bradley loved each other, chose to do those things with him. You thought you could trust her. You wondered how the rest of the squad was taking it.

And then your mind settled on Jake. The more you thought about him, the more your heart raced and butterflies erupted in your stomach. He was a much better man than you thought. He should have turned you away the night before given your history. But maybe the incessant fighting the two of you did was something more. They say love and hate are two sides of the same coin.

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