✎ . . Eren Icons

I just went through everything that you gave me . You make me smile even though you are not with me anymore . Especially all the notes that you gave , boleh tahan sweet juga ye dempol ni . Missing all the memories that we created and im gonna cherish it all . Thanks for always making me happy back then , you even made me did everything just for you the things that i never had thought of doing . Thankyou . I wish all the best for you in this life and the life after . Thankyou for everything ❤️❤️❤️

(25/12/2021) 29/12/2021 - 4 days after hugging her the last time

I still love her even more than back then. She didn’t know this, she always thought i didn’t love her that much. But she’s wrong. I have always love her all my heart since day 1 we are together.

“Maybe I’ll see you in another life, if this one wasn’t enough.”

— Florence + the Machine; How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful

(25/12/2021) 08/01/2022 - 14 days after last time hugged her

It’s been 2 weeks since we met. I saw everything when we met, your eyes aren’t the same as before. Im went kl because i was trying to get you back even im not sure if you really want me back. Im stupid for not realising it early. Im sorry for making you force yourself just to spend time with me. And thank you for that few days, its been awhile since we date huhu. That 3 days were amazing, we went to every place and eat everywhere we want even we both short on money hahaha. I really miss you a lot. I wish i could turn back time and change everything back like we were used to. I miss it a lot when you call me everytime i was sleeping and you always laugh when you suddenly call me to wake me up. I still do remember every little thing about you and not one second i have not ever think about you. You are always on my mind no matter what i do. I hope you are more happy now. I wish your next bf will treat you far more better than i am. This may be the last one from me, i hope so huhu. Takecare sayang baby ayang cayunk gemok gedempol yunk yang mok pol. Iloveyou nfmk. *cries fr

I’ll let you in on a secret.

It’s exhausting to be this kind and caring.

It’s exhausting to always go out of your way for other people.

It’s tiring to always be the one who makes sure that others are doing okay.

It’s hard to be everyone’s shoulder to cry on.

It’s mentally draining to listen to everyone’s problems and hearing the same stories over and over again.

But it’s not exhausting because I’m faking to be kind and caring.

It’s exhausting because no one ever thinks that maybe I, for once, need to be the one who feels cared for.

It’s tiring because no one ever feels the need to go out of their way for me.

It’s hard because no one feels like they need to make sure I’m okay, because they simply assume that I must be fine seeing as I’m handling other people’s problems so well.

It’s exhausting because my soul needs healing too sometimes, and it seems there is no one who wants to provide some love. It’s as though they don’t see that I, too, struggle with life and its ups and downs.

Maybe it’s my fault though? Maybe I am painting a picture of a perfect life? I may not be faking my kindness and caring nature but maybe I am faking how much I really have it all together?

But I quite like the illusion of having it all together. Do you see the problem?

- e.s. // secrets.

““Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.” - Winston Churchill”

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