When Your Crime Lord Son Has Glow In The Dark Eyes

Damian gets into trouble at school a lot and every time the principal calls up one of Damian’s family members to come in and deal with the latest issue Bruce has to scramble around whatever crime-problem they’re swamped with at the time to get either him or Dick or Alfred down to the school, but sometimes they just can’t and have to let the principal know that nobody can come, except the principal makes a big stink about SOMEBODY having to show up for this kid, and so to avoid looking neglectful Bruce reluctantly agrees and says somebody will be down there soon.

Damian’s principal watches as this 200+ pound brick shit-house of a guy casually wanders into the school with the most menacing glare on his face as he sips from a starbucks cup, slings his other hand into the pocket of his leather jacket, ignores her completely to turn to Damian and go ‘fuck’d you do now?’

‘fighting.’ Damian responds, looking slightly proud, sitting straight up in his seat. brick shit-house man sticks his bottom lip out and nods consideringly.

‘opponent get a hit on you?’

‘of course not. i used that move you showed me when i was four. executed it perfectly.’

brick shit-house man nods again in approval, sticking out his cup. ‘nice. you get the rest of my oreo frappe as a reward.’

Damian takes the drink and sips it delicately, preening under the guys praise. the kid Damian had been called in for fighting, of whom had been whining about how Damian should be suspended for his actions, had grown nervously silent at the sight of the frankly massively intimidating man, as had his equally vocal mother. brick shit-house man doesn’t grant them a glance, instead looking at the principal.

‘so can we go now? i was in the middle of an interrogation when Bruce called.’

hesitating slightly, the principal asks who this man is, in relation to her student.

‘none of your fucking business.’

ok then. after double checking that Damian was ok with leaving with the man, there wasn’t much she could do but say yes and hope her acquiescing would save her from the weight of his glare. as they leave, she hears Damian innocently ask if he could aid with the interrogation, being as he was now free for the afternoon.

‘are you kidding? Bruce would hate me if i let you near that shit.’ a beat. ‘so yeah but like don’t fuckin tell him.’

the next time Bruce Dick or Alfred can’t make it down to the school on short notice, the principal assures them they can reschedule.

Even more amused that Merthur is trending outside of Merlin or BBC Merlin.

Keep it up, Fandom!

Now let me help keep it going by posting about it trending 😉

He’d love geese🪿

I found a guide for a no tape, easy to unwrap wrapping tutorial to make Christmas a little more accessible, wish I just found it sooner

People mischaracterising cass as the most perfect most well behaved child ever is so funny to me like that’s literally Crashout Cain right there

anyway top 5 Cassandra Cain Crash outs (in no particular order, also may not be top 5 just the ones I can think of rn and they’re all from batgirl 2000)

when she saw someone shoot and kill one of his own guys and got so mad at him she stopped his heart so he would know what it felt like to die

When she woke up in the ambulance after getting the shit beat out of her by lady shiva and jumped out of the moving ambulance, crashed into a police car then went to go fight shiva again with like 4x the amount of injuries she had the first time (all while shirtless btw because her shirt got shredded when she threw herself at the police car)

When Steph died and she spent the entire rest of her run crashing out every 5 seconds (I can’t give all the examples rn but it’s basically just all the batgirl 2000 comics after no mans land)

when she got kicked into a barrel of illegal drugs then proceeded to hallucinate her friends and family saying mean things to her and also the devil and angel on her shoulders fighting, the devil one then she crashed out and beat up all the drug gang members then when nightwing showed up she kicked him through a window

when she decided that she had to fight the joker to prove herself as batgirl so broke him out of prison and when she couldn’t read his body language she called him boring then beat the shit out of him when he dropped his guard

There are way more than this btw, everyone in the batfam is a certified crash out but Cass isn’t recognised as much as she should be and that should be changed. Crashout Cain 2025 everyone!!

Anyway hope we get some epic new crash outs in batgirl 2024!!

i'd rather see 1000 graffiti penises than 1 product billboard. i'd live in dick city if it meant i could avoid advertisements in my daily life.

Switching between these every day

hypocrite count: 3

sleep count: 0

Art inspired by one of my fav timkon fics "buy back the secrets" by @vinelark ✨

The fanart is not exactly accurate to the fic but i loved the concept and everything about it so much it made me wanna draw this😭💕

A silly little extra doodle too:

Tim taking pictures and then Damian competetively going and painting those photos to "one-up" him. Tim is a little annoyed, but also finds it cute and impressive, so he tries to get the very best shots for Damian to paint.

Bruce Does Not Realize it is competitive and is just like "wow my talented sons are collaborating" and hangs all of the pictures and paintings up.

Damian eventually calms down about it and it becomes actually collaborative.