Imagine The Whole “Ghost King Summoning” Thing In The DC Prompts, But Change It Up A Bit And Make

You see, Perry the Platypus, when Vanessa was a little girl, she wanted to take estrogen. Of course, I said yes. And since then she’s always been my little girl. Well recently, Vanessa’s school deadnamed her on her reports! Can you believe that!? I mean we live in a fairly progressive area and—hey, isn’t that not allowed in public schools??

Anyway, that’s when I got the idea for THIS! The deadname-eraser-inator! That way, not only will Vanessa no longer be deadnamed, but EVERY OTHER TRANS PERSON IN THE TRI! STATE! AREA!

sometimes the best fanfics are written by middle aged adults with years of writing experience who simply know how to craft a good story. but also sometimes the best fanfics are written by a sixteen year old girl with something deeply wrong with her

ancient greek word of the day: αἰγίλιψ, “devoid of goats; hence, incredibly steep, to the point that not even goats can climb it”

Danny steals Jason

Danny was the newbiest of noobs on the street rat scene. Poor kid isn't cut out for the cut-throat culture of Gotham homelessness. His soft heart and mid-western manners means he ends up giving up the lion's share of what he does manage to scavenge.

It concerned Jason. Being soft like that was a great way to get killed. Danny was chum in the shark infested waters. Hood asked one of the older alley kids how Danny hadn't gotten eaten alive.

"It's like taking candy from a baby" she confided in Hood. "Easy as fuck, but you can't help but feel bad about it."

Now, Red Hood has a deal with the alley kids. If anyone manages to steal from all of the Waynes without getting caught, he will pay for all their necessities until they turn 18.

Really, it's a win-win. Bruce and his brood get extra awareness training and more incentive to stay out of Jason's territory. The kids get bought a meal after they're inevitably caught. Jason gets to laugh at his family.

He never expected his deal to be taken advantage of by Danny of all kids.

"Psst! Red Hood!"

Jason glanced over to see Danny beckoning him over. Curious, and a bit wary at the nervous look on the boy's face, he approached. "What's up kid?"

"C'mon! Over here!" Danny insisted, moving further away.

Jason followed. "What's this about?"

Danny didn't answer. Instead he just grabbed his hand and sped up. He kept glancing back at him and it was making Jason nervous. Did the kid get in over his head and coerced into luring Red Hood into a trap?

"Kid?" He asked again, tension leaking into his voice.

"Not yet. Almost there."

Abruptly they stopped on a random street corner. Jason noted that it was tactically a poor place for an assassination. Still, if something was gonna go down, he'd have to make sure the kid made it to safety.

"Danny-"

"I abducted you." Danny interrupted, confirming Jason's suspicious. "I used persuasion to get you someplace you don't wanna be," He pointed at the ground at that, presumably for emphasis. "Which counts as abduction. And I didn't get caught by the Bats."

"Okay? Danny, you-"

"You're sort of a bat which means I stole you from the bats!" the kid interrupted again. "And the bats are the Waynes. So I stole from all the Waynes without getting caught! I won the challenge!"

As Jason's brain rebooted all he could manage to say was, "What makes this spot someplace I don't wanna be?"

Danny just grinned and pointed at the ground again.

Jason looked down. He was standing in a chalk outline with lots of arrows titling it the "Stupid Circle"

Based on these two posts:

Pickpocket for Hire:

Jason gets 'kidnapped':

@queeniewithabeanie @apatheticsunday @im-totally-not-an-alien-2

Danny : I'm so happy, I could kiss you!

Tim: Um...Neat.

*later*

Tim, lying face down on their bed: I said "Neat," Jason . Who the fuck says neat these days? It's not neat to say neat but I said it anyways because I'm fucking stupid.

Jason , reading a book: Don't beat yourself up too much, Tim. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what I did when Roy confessed their love for me?

Tim: Didn't you thank them?

Jason : *closes the book and looks at the ceiling* I fucking thanked them.

Jason should have come back to the manor post-lazarus pit and revealed himself as Jason Todd but not told the rest of the family that he’s also Red Hood. can you imagine how fucking funny that would be.

Nightwing: honestly! my family is fucking INSANE! i swear the only good one is my little brother, he died and came back and decided to ditch the vigilante life.

Red Hood: oh shit really?

Nightwing: honestly probably the smartest one out of all of us, he’s reading in bed while we’re all out here on stakeouts!

Red Hood: interesting. tell me more about how this brother is the best of all of you.

~

Red Hood: so what are you guys getting the smart handsome not-vigilante brother for Christmas?

Nightwing, Red Robin, and Robin:

~

Batman: now i need all of you to have an equal share in the clean up-

Red Hood: yeah sorry, you aren’t MY dad, so i’m gonna dip. have fun cleaning!

the funniest part is when Dick and Tim decide that since Red Hood and Jason are so similar and Red Hood CLEARLY seems to like what he hears about Jason, that they should try to set the two up.

Jason, calling Roy at 4am: i need you in Gotham within the next hour so you can dress up as Red Hood and we can pretend that I’m sleeping with myself.

Roy:

Roy: i’m gonna get caught sneaking out of your bedroom with lipstick on your helmet

Jason: this is gonna be the funniest thing we’ve ever done.

Some drawings of the funk twins!! ✨  The Bad Ending drawing is inspired by this post!

"Batman come closer I'm dying"

Dp/DC promp

Danny and his friends were checking some things out in Gotham.

They just heard of Batman, but he sounds kinda suspicious to them.

They want to keep a low profile, so they break in one of Vlads office, and sneak out again.

But Batman catch up to them.

Danny doesn't want to use his powers to clearly.

But his friends need to run with the informations they stole.

So Danny gets over to plan b.

He puts his hands on his chest. Then starting to slow down his pulse and his breathing.

"Batman help im dying."

Batman turns to to person who is starting to sink to the ground. The thief he's almost a child.

His puls is falling rapidly, his breathing is slowing. The child is dying, he needs to do something.

The other two just run off, but Batman stays by the boy, he can hunt the two an other time.

"Don't worry kid, I'm here I'm gonna help you." Batmans head is racing what can he do, chest compression doesn't seem to help. Does the boy have a heart failure? He needs to do something.

Batman doesn't want to give up, but nothing seems to work.

Suddenly the boy opens his eyes and says:" look man I just wanted to distract you, but now I feel guilty about it."

Batman just stares at him for a moment. The boys sit up again and looks normal again. Batman checks his puls but there is nothing. "I need to take you to the hospital."

"no, breathing and heart beating is optional since my dead. I'm fine. I just needed you to don't chase my friend's. But I actually feel guilty, since you seem so nice. And didn't even hesitate to help me. Should I treat you to a coffee?"

Branch cornobbling creek

Oh, yes. 'Cornobbling', the noble art of slapping or beating someone with a fish.

Yes, Branch would certainly cornobble Creek if given the chance.

Would anyone care to draw this purely for the sake of comedy??? Pretty please???