Branch Cornobbling Creek

Imagine the whole “Ghost King summoning” thing in the DC prompts, but change it up a bit and make it take place in KFP. So Po and the Furious Five unfortunately failed to stop the ritual, but instead of some dragon or something, there’s just some kind of creature with no fur, save for the tuff of white fur on its head, green eyes, and somehow looks young despite being almost as tall as Tigress or Crane. Luckily, there wasn’t much of a language barrier, and it turned out he was more of a Ghost Prince instead of a king since his coronation won’t happen for a long, long time, and he doesn’t know what’s happening or how he got there, and is understandably yet also oddly terrified by the whole change.

On the flip side, he was amazed by the night sky over the valley, saying something about “smog” or “light pollution” in his home village preventing him from seeing what he can in the valley, so it was easy to distract him as long as he could look at or talk about the beautiful things in the night sky. And at the same time, scholars are getting the chance to learn more about the celestial phenomena their mysterious guest is so passionate about.

Seriously, just picture The Five trying to interrogate Danny and it somehow turns into the halfa rambling on and on about space and what he knows about it, and they’re like “Take this seriously!” but also “We should invite a few scholars to listen to this kid”.

Crane: How do you think stars are made?

Danny: *practically jumps to his feet* My time has come!

Wait the King is how old??

Constantine has heard something weird.

The old High King of the Infinite Realms is out, and another one took his place.

So he asks around; a few ghosts here, a demon or two there, and learns something horrifying.

The new King is only one and a half, maybe two years old.

The new King is a baby.

He calls an immediate Justice League and Justice League Dark meeting to discuss how the actual fuck do they appeal to a toddler.

Danny is very, very confused-but grateful!-as to why the offerings that occultists made him changed from buckets of blood to teething rings. He has decided to start a collection of teething rings for shits and giggles.

This...does not help the misconception.

@simplestoryteller

This meme is inescapable on French insta so I'm posting it here for all to enjoy

Ya know how on cartoons or sitcoms there's always mention of an unseen weird relative or friend? And it's like this running joke? That's the whole Doc-Dawn family in a nutshell.

Clampers: man, I wish Uncle Dickory were here. He'd try to help me open this pickle jar...then ask Aunt Dawn for help opening it.

----

Creek: I CAN'T GO THERE, I'LL BE ARRESTED, BEAT AND STRUNG UP!

Chef: Oh please, don't you think you're exaggerating?

Creek: THEY ARE LITERALLY A FAMILY OF COWBOYS AND THE MAYOR IS THE WIFE!

----

Branch: By the way, when ya get to Lonesome Flats, ask for the head of the house. A man named Dickory will answer and direct you to his wife, Delta.

----

Barb: Be careful how you talk Poppy, or her hubby will *slides next across throat*

Some Troll: Please, Branch doesn't seem that tough.

Barb: I'm talking about the Sheriff.

Branch cornobbling creek

Oh, yes. 'Cornobbling', the noble art of slapping or beating someone with a fish.

Yes, Branch would certainly cornobble Creek if given the chance.

Would anyone care to draw this purely for the sake of comedy??? Pretty please???

DPxDC De-Aged Triplets and Their Tired Single Sister

Jason has seen the four of them a couple of times in Crime Alley now. They looked like a family, what with similar facial features- err, actually, the kids looked like carbon copies of each other, but their mom/sister/aunt/cousin looked similar enough to be related to them by blood.

Normally, Jason didn't care for each and every family that moved into Crime Alley. Sure, he cared about all of them as a whole, but there were a lot of people, and he couldn't possibly get elbow deep in every life story he came across. So all he knew about them were three things: a) they were on the run from someone or something, b) they trusted each other and no one else, and c) apparently, they have made it their life goal to never make any kind of sense.

The list of shit they have gotten into included but was not limited to:

• one of the kids biting a gun. Not the hand of the attacker who was holding it, no, the actual gun. And he bit a piece of it clean off, which earned him - or her, actually, Jason knew one of the triplets was a girl but he couldn't tell them apart - a lecture from their... mom? sister? parental figure. The lecture was about how chewing metal does not help with iron deficiency.

• getting kidnapped and creeping out their kidnapper to the point of him returning the kids back home. A few witnesses said one of the kids was actually driving, sitting on the kidnappers lap behind the steering wheel and cheerfully commanding the man to speed up or brake. Their mom actually apologized to the kidnapper for the incident and offered him homemade cookies for his troubles. He ran away without them.

• driving a lady at the laundromat insane by repeatedly walking inside and climbing into one of the washing machines. They never got out of it, just one kid walking into the laundromat, climbing into washing machine, then another kid, looking exactly like the previous one, walking inside, climbing into the same washing machine, then another kid walking into the laundromat- well, you get the idea. The lady claimed she's seen at least five kids do that in a row, but when she looked into that washing machine, there was no one inside.

• casually falling out of windows. Or, better, walking out of them like they were doors, at any given opportunity. The witness - an old man who was helping their mom with groceries - said the mom did not care in the slightest, and when he asked her about it, obviously concerned, she just said, tired and exasperated, 'they like the feeling of free fall, don't worry, they'll come back in a minute'. Sure enough, they did, not a scratch on them. The family lived on the sixth floor.

• eating insane amounts of food. Jason personally witnesses their mom give them her wallet, telling the kids, 'eat until you're full', and promptly passing out on the table, her head on her arms. The kids then proceeded to eat four whole pizzas, three burgers each, then seven brownies and at least five cups of soda. What was interesting about it was not only the amount of food they ate but the way they never left their mom unattended, one of the kids always staying beside her sleeping figure as the other two went to order.

And now, all four of them were standing in front of him. Not Jason Todd him, but Red Hood him. And he was... confused.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I said, can you watch them for a few hours? Three, maybe four," the mom, Jazz as she introduced herself, was looking at him like it was he who was speaking nonsense, not her. Because asking a crime lord to watch three kids in the middle of the night is not something a sane person would do.

"Why?" He asks, bewildered, because what the fuck else is he supposed to say?

"I need to kill a man, and if they come with me, it will take three times longer," Jazz tells him. Is she saying the kids slow her down or what? Jason can admit he's never been this confused in his entire life.

"You could ask me to kill a man, while you stay with them, no?" He tries to reason, but the girl waves him off:

"No, that will take even longer. Besides, no offense, but you kill people to simply end their life, and I need that man to fucking stop existing forever."

What's the difference he almost wants to ask. But instead of that, he just sighs.

"Why me? I'm sure you could find a babysitter-"

"No babysitter will handle them. The last one told me they have been running laps on the ceiling, which is, actually, not that big of a deal. They are kids. Kids like running around," she huffs, and Jason suspects she is missing the point here, but okay. He gets why babysitters are not an option.

"You do understand what they can witness if they stay here?" He asks, as the last attempt to reason with the girl, but she just nods and leans down, making all the kids turn to her.

"Okay, you menaces, tell me what not to do while you're staying with Mr. Red Hood."

"No eating people," one kid starts.

"No driving people insane," the other one continues.

"No, um, stealing eyeballs," the third one finishes, and what the fuck are those ground rules? Is this girl a mother to eldrith horrors? That would explain some shit.

Jazz turns to him, "See? They're all good."

In what world is that good? Jason debates if he should start running now or when she leaves.

"Do they have names?" He asks instead. The girl nods:

"Danny." His surprise must be evident even through the mask because she sighs and points to each kid, "Diane, Daniel, Dante. Dani, Danny, and Dan. Actually, you know what, let's make this easier," she rummages through her bag and gets a marker out before gesturing to the kids, "Come here."

As they do, she proceeds to draw numbers 1, 2, and 3 on their foreheads. Then she nods to Hood and puts the marker away.

"Okay, that's better. Behave, you monsters, I'll be back soon!"

After she leaves, Jason looks down at the kids. They also look at him, eerie and unblinking.

Finally, one of them - number 2, Dani, if he is not mistaken - asks:

"Do you want teeth? We have a lot."

"She doesn't mean her teeth," number 1 clarifies, "She means other teeth."

...This is going to be some very long three hours.

"Batman come closer I'm dying"

Dp/DC promp

Danny and his friends were checking some things out in Gotham.

They just heard of Batman, but he sounds kinda suspicious to them.

They want to keep a low profile, so they break in one of Vlads office, and sneak out again.

But Batman catch up to them.

Danny doesn't want to use his powers to clearly.

But his friends need to run with the informations they stole.

So Danny gets over to plan b.

He puts his hands on his chest. Then starting to slow down his pulse and his breathing.

"Batman help im dying."

Batman turns to to person who is starting to sink to the ground. The thief he's almost a child.

His puls is falling rapidly, his breathing is slowing. The child is dying, he needs to do something.

The other two just run off, but Batman stays by the boy, he can hunt the two an other time.

"Don't worry kid, I'm here I'm gonna help you." Batmans head is racing what can he do, chest compression doesn't seem to help. Does the boy have a heart failure? He needs to do something.

Batman doesn't want to give up, but nothing seems to work.

Suddenly the boy opens his eyes and says:" look man I just wanted to distract you, but now I feel guilty about it."

Batman just stares at him for a moment. The boys sit up again and looks normal again. Batman checks his puls but there is nothing. "I need to take you to the hospital."

"no, breathing and heart beating is optional since my dead. I'm fine. I just needed you to don't chase my friend's. But I actually feel guilty, since you seem so nice. And didn't even hesitate to help me. Should I treat you to a coffee?"

New Gumdrop AU character! Meet King Aster, Poppy’s other dad! 

I headcanon Pop Trolls having the unique ability of having all genders being able to lay and produce eggs, so Aster is 100% her bilological parent as much as Peppy is because it’s my headcanon and I do what I like!

I mainly based him on Freddie Mercury but I also took some design inspiration of @glushies-trolls take on Poppy’s mum, go give them some love too! 

A raging bisexual and the love of Peppy’s life, Aster was eccentric and an unstoppable force of nature. He loved fancy clothes, moustaches, terrible puns and belting out powerful ballads (I Want to Break Free was his favourite, which made Peppy suspect Aster had Rock Troll blood in him). Although he was as happy as the other trolls in the Troll Tree, Aster hated the fact that they lived in a literal cage and frequently rebelled against the Bergens. Or, at least as much as he could. He always tried his best to keep trolls safe on Trolltice and planned several elaborate schemes to escape but, in his lifetime, was always foiled. As much as he loved Peppy, Aster was constantly at odds with him during their relationship as, at the time, Peppy just accepted that this was the life they were subjugated to and there was nothing that could change that. 

Then, sometime after Aster laid Poppy’s egg, he got deathly sick. It soon became clear that he would not live to see his daughter hatch. During his last months, Aster wrote several letters to Poppy for specific points in her life. He also planned a new escape plan with Peppy, who finally realised they needed to escape if their daughter had any chance of a future. 

Aster passed away just days before Poppy’s hatching and never got to truly be free with his people. But Peppy keeps his memory alive by declaring his birthday a national holiday and talking about him to Poppy throughout her life. Poppy keeps all of Aster’s letters in a scrapbook and constantly rereads them. They never fail to make her cry.

Trolls and Peppy © Dreamworks

Aster © Me

ancient greek word of the day: αἰγίλιψ, “devoid of goats; hence, incredibly steep, to the point that not even goats can climb it”

Some drawings of the funk twins!! ✨  The Bad Ending drawing is inspired by this post!