So I Had A Hysterectomy Today (hooray!) And I Brought Along My Stuffed Orca, Shamu, As A Comfort Object.

So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.

So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"

But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:

So I Had A Hysterectomy Today (hooray!) And I Brought Along My Stuffed Orca, Shamu, As A Comfort Object.

And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)

So I Had A Hysterectomy Today (hooray!) And I Brought Along My Stuffed Orca, Shamu, As A Comfort Object.

Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.

And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize

So I Had A Hysterectomy Today (hooray!) And I Brought Along My Stuffed Orca, Shamu, As A Comfort Object.
So I Had A Hysterectomy Today (hooray!) And I Brought Along My Stuffed Orca, Shamu, As A Comfort Object.

They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy

More Posts from Badweatherbartender and Others

1 month ago

Every word that starts with an N should have a silent G in front. Gnorway. Gnuclear. Gnervous system. Gnipples.

5 months ago

on a scale from Essek Thelyss to Ira Wendagoth, how dedicated are you to holding onto the slight of Ludinus Da'leth fucking over your research aims

1 month ago

So for members of bdsm Dungeons, it's a rule that you don't approach other members if you see them on public for privacy reasons. They might not want people knowing they're a freak.

That said, it's normal to make friends in that space who you hang out with, outside of kink stuff. When that happens and people asked where I met my friend, my go-to line was "Spin-class," which is a very funny joke if you know me even a little. Very not my scene.

Well, funnily enough, while I was working at a homeless shelter, we had a very similar rule because of the homeless stigma. If a guest from the Shelter sees you outside of work, you don't acknowledge or approach them. They can approach you, but you don't tell whoever you're with where you know them. The guest gets to decide if they want to share that info.

Smash cut to me being out with a friend I met at the dungeon a very long time ago. I bump into a guest from the shelter who approaches me to chat. My friend asks how I know the guest, and without thinking, I blurt out "spin class" before remembering that's my go to lie for how I ment dungeon friends. These two proceed to have a conversation, neither fully understood.

Friend: ooohhhh okay i get it. Spin class! Me too. Stopped taking that class a while ago tho.

Guest. Oh for real? That's sick man, good for you! You got a good set up now?

Friend: The best!! I've taken up wood working so my furniture is all custom. Got plenty of space to do "spin" at home. It's coming together.

Guest: Hell yeah brother!!!

Friend: was really good to have my own space during the rona, but man it's lonely! I kinda miss the group dynamics.

Guest: Yeah, i heard that from my homie when he got out of "Spin class!" But it's for the best.

Friend: it can be, but its not for everybody. Can be safer to Spin in a group.

Guest: i know that. Lost a few homie to "spinning" alone. At least at the "class" you got other eyes on you.

Friend: I'm sorry to hear that! You know some elements of "Spinning" are risky but you never think anyone would get hurt. So, my buddy here still a real hard ass for safety?

Guest: oh man you dont even know. They revamped our whole fire escape plan.

Friend: Oh shit! They did that back when i was in Spin class too!

Guest: still improving the system i guess.

Friend: they still keep a bunch of robes outside in a shed so people who get out can cover up?

Guest: Yes!!!

Friend: Did you know it's their fault we have a 30 second rule!

Guest: Damn really!?! Makes sense tho, if there's a fire you gotta get out fast!

Friend: Yeah, I Never gave it much thought before they brought it up, but yeah the last thing you want is a fire when you're all tired up!

Guest: Yeah, that's true. I didn't know they came up with the rule, tho. I do like having the space between the beds clear...

Friend: Yeah it's so annoying when people block the path with their shit.

Guest: Yeah there's not enough space between beds for people to be hording shit.

Friend: Yeah! I loved that they always got people to keep their area clear.

Guest: not gonna lie i hate being told to clean up but it is better that way.

Friend: Yeah... haha.

Guest: well it was nice chatting with you brother.

Friend: you too, man! See ya around!

Guest: see ya!

Me:

So For Members Of Bdsm Dungeons, It's A Rule That You Don't Approach Other Members If You See Them On
6 months ago
Menswear Guy’s Ability To Own Is So Powerful He Even Owns Himself.

Menswear guy’s ability to own is so powerful he even owns himself.

6 months ago

someone should pay me a lot of money so i can take a year off work and spend all my time baking and writing and working out

7 months ago

Hearing them get so excited over the whale fall is so fun I love hearing people who are passionate about their work

5 months ago

the tv show "the torment nexus game is bad" being a poignant critique of wage slavery and class disparity and capitalism that is popularized in the west by big tv corporation bc it makes them money, then being turned into "the torment nexus game is bad: the game show" by the most souless and therefore most popular youtuber because it makes him money, so then big tv corporation makes their OWN "the torment nexus game is bad: the OFFICIAL game show" to make even more money off the "the torment nexus game is bad" fictional critique of capitalism tv show, and then it turns out that many allegations of torment nexus-like conditions come out of both reality tv game shows but there aren't any consequences. and then Bigger Corporation goes to the soulless youtuber and is like. lets make another "the torment nexus game is bad" -esque game show to make us a lot of money because the people stuck in the torment nexus love that shit. it's called "the torment nexus game is fun :-)" and then the writer of the "the torment nexus game is bad" posts on twitter that he fucking hates his own story and what it has become. you would think this is a plot from a heavy-handed early black mirror episode but it is unfortunately a plot from real life

4 months ago

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

7 months ago

me, explaining liches to my new players: so basically they have to constantly take the souls of people to ensure that they continue to be a lich. like an adobe subscription

barbarian: adobe soulscribtion

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