Someone Should Pay Me A Lot Of Money So I Can Take A Year Off Work And Spend All My Time Baking And Writing

i’d like to remember the names of cool people and amazing things but my memory is a bloody sieve and i have zero control over what gets to stay in there

I know that Caleb and Essek were both playing the long game and trying to manipulate each other prior to the cease fire, but it’s still very funny that these two highly intelligent wizards went ‘Ah, yes I will beguile him with my many spells and knowledge of the arcane to trick him into thinking he can trust me.’

And both of them fucking idiots that they are fell for it.

And then doubled down and said ‘But what if you could actually trust me? What if I used my spells to actually flirt with you? What if I stopped in the middle of a battle to pull you from underneath some rubble and you pressed your forehead to mine? What if we called each other partners for the next seven years and had an engagement portrait painted and hung in our home?’

Like I don’t know if you failed at the first step or succeeded.

Yes i did more

More text post memes

"Your 32 persuasion check doesn't mean shit to a 5 ton carnivorous lizard that can breathe lightning who sees you as a home intruder. Now make me a dexterity saving throw."

-our DM, curing a player of horny bard syndrome.

i love y'all but everyone saying "okami 2" like my boy here suffered for nothing

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

do Ents reproduce by sexual intercourse or by pollination

Whimsy is a survival skill stop training it out of your kids!!! How are they gonna make it when shit gets rough???

"Congratulations on Level 5, [Wizard]! You've officially been upgraded from 'liability' to 'glass cannon'!"