Carrie: We Need To Get Through This Locked Door. Tiffany , Give Me Your Credit Card.

Kon: Hey Tim,

Tim: Yes?

Kon: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Tim:

Tim: Where’s Bart?

Whoops accidentally deleted this anyway this is hands down the best trio friendship dynamic

Alfred: Hey, it's your turn to wash dishes.

Tiny emo Bruce: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD.

Alfred: 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

Carrie: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Bruce: You're like 10 years old

Carrie: I MIGHT DIE AT 20!

Jason: Come to dinner tonight. I can’t cook, but I’ll bring plenty of free wine.

Roy: Marry me.

Luke : dad! My face is on fire!

Lucius: Luke ! Are you ok?!

Luke : Oh yes, I'm fine. I just said that to make sure you'd come in here quickly.

Lucius : But your face is on fire.

Luke : Yes. It's much faster than shaving.

Duke: *starts to leave patrol at sundown*

*an explosion is heard from nearby area*

Gotham Citizen: What was that?

Duke: The sound of someone else's problem.

Dick: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Barbara: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

______________

Damian: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Carrie: Isn't that just killing people?

Damian: Ah, don’t sweat the details .

______________

Jason: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Dick: Twelve, actually.

Jason: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Dick: Yours!

Jason: That's right: no one's.

_______________

Damian: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Steph: I think you mean cards.

Damian, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

________________

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Bruce Wayne please come to the front desk?

Bruce, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: points to the batkids

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Dick, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Bruce: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

__________________

Barbara: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Luke: You people already know too much about me.

Tiffany: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

______________________

Tim: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Cullen: Just rip the bandage off.

Tim: It’s Kon.

Cullen: Put the bandage back on.

Dick: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Wally: Okay.

Dick: And make out during the scary parts.

Wally: Th-

Wally: The scary parts.

Wally: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl.

Jon: I made this friendship bracelet for you.

Damian: You know, I’m not really a jewelry person.

Jon: You don’t have to wear…

Damian: No, I’m gonna wear it forever. Back off.