Garlic Bread Is The Superior Bread, Of Course. That's Why.

Contextless quotes from me/my friends with no indication of who said what:

"Look away for .5 seconds and you have a smush child"

"Is cruise control on? Oh wait, we're going down a hill"

"Same as when I broke you and them with all those subs I take?"

"I’m warm, i’m tall, i can build furniture, i don’t stream."

"Most of my vehicle mishaps happen bc I cannot see so that’s a plus at least XD"

I did not ask if they wanted their quotes on tumblr

I don't why but I'm offended on your behalf

Dear Tumblr,

no one on Instagram cared about my silly little aftg lettering , so I have decided to give it to you guys , as a treat

Nah, your responce was perfect

I dare you to motivate me to study.

The child lives if you study

Windyreads, that would literally be my worst nightmare however it's only too dark if he permits you to bring a weapon

I dare you to motivate me to study.

The child lives if you study

To the 26 people who thought I was interesting enough to drop a follow: You are only bored and, therefore, misguided. You can do better. So do better

FALSE ALARM! They're all bots!🥰 My invisibility is maintained!

BEHOLD! AN UPDATE! [MARCH 12, 2023 SUNDAY]

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE! MY FOLLOWER COUNT HAS DROPPED BY NINE WHOLE ACCOUNTS!

ANOTHER UPDATE! [MARCH 28, 2023 TUESDAY]

MORE GOOD NEWS! THE ACCOUNTS FOLLOWIBG ME HAS DROPPED TO A STAGGERING THREE (3) ACCOUNTS AND AT LEAST TWO OF THEM ARE BOTS! EVERYONE GIVE THESE BOTS A ROUBD OF APPLAUSE FOR MAKING BETTER CHOICES!

“Remember, if you die in the simulation-” “Yeah, yeah, we know, you die in real life.” “What? No! You need to reset the simulation with this terminal! What is WRONG with you humans?!”

So I follow the Greek Goddess of Luck, Tyche, (tye key)and I have some pretty okay luck. I have some stories of bad luck, like when I got zooted for the first time, and good luck, like the time I went trespassing with friends. I wanna tell you both but let's start with the less funny one.

A couple years back, I went out with a friend and her boyfriend to check this abandoned rich person house. We snuck in in broad daylight and explored a bit. We were clearly not the first people to do this as everything glass was broken, all the walls were graffiti and many had holes. Some places were not safe to go to and we found a singular room that was marginally in tact. We left after exploring the musty ass basement and as we were getting to the car that we parked strategically elsewhere, we realize we may not have been as stealthy as we thought. Three police cars turn onto the street and down to the court we were just in. We decide to just get in the car and leave and this is where I learn that driver (friend's boyfriend) is directionally challenged. He turns right instead of left (the direction we came from) and goes down a dead end street and I say nothing. He then asks one of us to pull up our gps because he's lost. I tell him he should have turned left when leaving the street and he asks me why I didn't tell him earlier and I tell him that I assumed that he knew where he was going because he'd been here before on multiple occassions.

Just a reminder that in animated disney movie "Snow White", Prince Florian, a 31 year old man, flirted with a 14 year old while trespassing on her families property, kissed her lifeless body in the woods without the knowledge that she would wake up and then took her away to get married. Again, he's canonically 31 and Snow White is canonically 14.

Tucker: We're married.

Danny: What?

Tucker: If anyone asks you and I are married. We've been married for two years. Not platonic roommates. Understand?

Danny: I'm always down for marriage fraud, but can I ask why?

Tucker: *Sigh* We had a big company meeting today with every level employee at the event center the Wayne rent out. Tammy from accounts was assigned to my table-

Danny: Your mortal enemy.

Tucker: Exactly. So she started giving me grief in the middle of our team exercise project. The other four random employees are looking at me all wide eye and I'm getting tired so I say "Is it because I'm gay Tammy?" To shut her up. But at that time, Timothy Drake Wayne was walking behind me and heard me say it. He jumped in to ask what was going on, and I hate Tammy for being so annoying, but I am not about to accuse her of discrimination for no reason. So I said "Oh it was just a joke. Like on the internet." And then when Mr.Drake-Wayne face didn't relax, I blurted out."My husband thinks my jokes are dumb too"

Danny: Tucker....that's not good

Tucker: I know! I started panicking!

Danny: You ramble when you panic.

Tucker: I do, and I did. Before I realized it, I told Mr. Drake-Wayne, this whole made up childhood friends to lover romance between you and I. It was so good he told me to invite you to the office. So we're married. Please go along with it. If I can get Mr. Drake-Wayne's support I can rise in the company so fast.

Danny: Promotions are 50% networking. Alright, sure, what's the worst that can happen?

Five months later

Steph: What's the big emergency?

Tim sobbing:. I'm in love with the husband of one of my employees.

Steph: Tim....that's not good

Anything is a weapon if incorrectly enough. Genuinely curious on how a pillowcase could be used as a weapon tho

I dare you to motivate me to study.

The child lives if you study