LMFAO

this made ME smile omg

he picks up his phone on the first ring, ‘yes sweetheart? did you already reach? where are you?’

‘i’m almost there ken but i think i’m gonna need a minute or two to recover’

concern flooded his mind ‘recover? what happened-‘

‘i just saw the most beautiful man ever!’ you squeal through the phone.

what.

‘he’s drop dead gorgeous ken! and he’s not even doing anything, he’s just- standing there’ you sigh dreamily.

‘oh my god ken, his jaw is so chiseled i could grate cheese on it’ your squealing continues.

‘my love, what are you talking about?’

were you being serious right now? was his jaw not chiseled enough to grate cheese? was he not gorgeous?

why were you calling him, your dear boyfriend, to gush about some man guy?

‘and he’s in this light blue dress shirt which you already know is my personal weakness’

wait. oh.

just then, a small smile makes its way on to his face.

‘ken ken ken he just smiled! i think it might be my favourite smile ever! oh god, it’s so beautiful’ you’re swooning on the other side.

‘really? tell me more’ he’s full on grinning now.

‘i could go on and on but you know what? i think i’m gonna shoot my shot and ask him out. i’ll let you know how it goes later. bye, i love you’ you hang up and he has to stop himself from laughing.

he pockets his phone when sees you crossing the road to get to him.

you throw a small wave at him ‘hey, i was on my way to see my boyfriend but then i saw you and you’re just so beautifully sculpted and i decided that i’d rather spend my life with you instead. what do you say?’

‘i’ll have to ask my girlfriend about that’

clicking your tongue ‘of course a guy like you is off the market’ you feign defeat ‘but i bet i’m more prettier than her’

his eyes scan you from top to bottom ‘you’re ok i guess’

scoffing ‘gee ken thanks a lot. what’s the harm in playing along for a little bit?’ you pout, making him snicker.

you and your antics never fail to amuse him.

you feel his arms wrap around you then and pull you to his chest as you melt into him.

‘i’m not lying. my girl is the prettiest’ he says.

‘and i wasn’t either, you really do have a jaw for grating cheese’

(rblogs appreciated🤘🏼)

OKAY, UMMMM???

THIS WAS SO AMAZING. i love these boys, i love smau’s, and i fiND THIS MASTERPIECE 🥰🤩😩

i genuinely smiled throughout binge reading the whole story and i just- 🥺 they’re so cute

TELEGRAPH AVE [smau] || masterlist

>> from the moment she’d met him, matsukawa issei had done nothing but make her life a living hell. years of annoying her on a daily basis for the sake of his own entertainment. it’s like there’s no escaping him, even in college. her only saving grace is his best friend – her best friend – who’s stuck in the middle. so after years of watching them fight, makki’s got a plan. a really bad plan. but what happens when they realize they’ve all been hiding something – something that could change the dynamic of the entire group? << 

pairing : matsukawa issei x f!reader x hanamaki takahiro [poly au]

genres : college!au, crack!au, humor, fluff, will def end up being nsfw at some point, enemies to lovers, friends to lovers

warnings : nsfw language and eventually content, marijuana and alchohol, an unprecedented amount of swearing on this blog, the inside of my mind is a chaotic place so i apologize in advance

a/n : this au idea came to me in a fever dream and refuses to back off so here we go 

status : ongoing

start date : [11/23/2020]

end date : [02/03/2021]

update schedule : MWF [twice per day]

taglist : [closed]

masterlist

>> playlist <<

intros pt. 1 || intros pt. 2

[1] shut up bitch basket

[2] i hate it here

[3] no fighting

[4] coexisting peacefully??

[5] please tell me it’s taco tuesday

[6] this mf

[7] matsukawa issei to the rescue???

[8] keep lying to yourself

[9] im trapped

[10] that’s clingy makki for you

[11] was it that bitch kindaichi

[12] right,,, haha anyways

[13] mind your business, rat

[14] kick his ass babe

[15] i think we need to talk

[16] like how horses get???

[17] MAKKI WANTS A THREESOME

[18] damn they broke her

[19] everyone say ‘thank you suna’

[20] POWER RANGERS ASSEMBLE

[21] i said he had smol peepee energy

[22] EMERGENCY LEVEL 10

[23/final] awwww he does love us

[epilogue] all i wanted was one fish date

WOOOOOO

People are calling women who read ‘spicy’ novels porn addicts on TikTok and when women responded “um. That’s not what addiction is.” People are going “the first symptom of addiction is denial” like okay buddy.

WHY IS THIS ME

laios remembering him this way always makes me giggle bc i really hope this is how my friends see me. i won’t ask because any other answer would devastate me tbh

so glad they kept his silly bisexual wink in Laios' imagination despite everything... this will sustain me forever

THIS MADE MY HEART SO HAPPY

i love barbatos with a burning passion, i would do anything to find out more about him

Hi lovely! I've been counting down the minutes > < May I request a Barbatos who always cares for MC as a butler (but is secretly in love with her) and MC begs him to see her as a woman and not just a lady of the house? Thank you!

My Lady

( Barbatos X Fem! Reader)

You're starting to think Barbatos doesn't like you.

It's a thought that plagues your mind whenever you are with him, for he addresses you the same way he does other nobles, with the same pleasant smile and assuring presence as he welcomes you, with those same skillful hands that he pours tea so delicately.

Yet, no matter how close you become, the title of 'My Lady' is never dropped.

Perhaps it is appropriate, given his disposition, but you consider him a dear friend, and a friend doesn't address his companion so formally. The air of civility around him is never dropped, much to your chagrin.

You wish to see Barbatos, not the image of the prim and proper butler, who doesn't ever reveal his true emotions, but the demon underneath. The true Barbatos.

You want the gloves to be removed.

And this time, you're going to tell him that.

Armed with confidence and your D.D.D., you set out with Simeon, having asked if he could accompany you to the Castle, for the brothers will ask too many question. The angel obliges, true to his nature, and off you both go on the short walk to your destination.

But your destination is Barbatos's mind, his soul, his heart.

After you reach the castle and Simeon bids you goodbye, you climb the cobblestone steps, and the way is long for the castle is huge and by the time you reach the giant doors, your legs feel tired.

Before you can knock on the mahogany wood, it opens, and the watchful eyes of Barbatos greet you, observing your form for a moment before he crosses his fist over his chest as he bows slightly, in a show of respect.

"Good Evening, My Lady. It's a pleasant surprise for you to visit." Already, words are forming on your tongue and threatning to slip past your lips, but you wisely choose not to voice them, not here, before accepting his invitation and heading inside with him.

The Demon Lord's castle is huge, rightfully so, taller and more magnificent than any other structure, with rooms that could take one years to explore. But it seems Barbatos knows the place like the back of his hand, because he's leading you through doorways and rooms you haven't seen before.

You wish to know him just like he knows the castle.

"May I know the reason for your visit?" He asks, and when you pass the hall of mirrors, where a sing;e light from a candle illuminates the passage beautifully, you can see Barbatos sneaking glances at you. You pretend not to notice.

"I wanted to see you." You confess, watching as the demon's eyes widen for a moment before the usual composed look replaces it. He mutters, "In that case," His gloved hands work at a handle, and the door opens to reveal the garden. "I believe it is best we talk here."

There's a table with two chairs, and Barbatos seats you before before bringing back a tray of tea and baked goods.

But when Barbatos pours you the beverage, you grab his wrist, an action out of boldness, and both yours and his eyes widen, but the kettle remains in his hand, and you don't loosen your grip. "My Lady?" He questions softly, his voice not betraying him the slightest.

"Don't call me that." You mumble, letting the demon's hand free to pour the remaining tea, which he does and resumes his place besides the table.

"Did I do something to offend you?" Barbatos questions as he stares in indifference, eyebrows furrowing ever so slightly, and you shake your head, not being able to believe how obvious this demon is, or pretends to be.

"Tell me, Barbatos," You speak, picking up the dainty teacup as you bring it to your lips. "Do you dislike me?"

He smiles in return.

"There is no reason to dislike you, My Lady. You are rather pleasant to be around." He confesses, and you can see the blush forming on his cheeks, and it takes you everything to not smile at the demon's predicament.

"Then why don't you see me as a woman?" You question, setting down the cup as Barbatos remains silent. "See me as a woman, not just the lady of the house. Drop the formality, and be yourself around me, Barbatos." Your voice sounds desperate at the end, and you collect yourself as you take another sip.

"I see you as someone to be respected, for you have managed to strengthen the relations between the two realms, and also because you've changed us all for the better."

Anger flares up inside you at those words.

"Your respect for me," You swallow the lump in your throat that's beginning to form, and his hand twitches, for reasons unknown. "Is it just because I'm the exchange student? Do you only respect me, just like you respect Lord Diavolo and the other nobles? Am I nothing more than that to you, just another title?"

Your voice is shaking so much it might break, for the pain you had to bear on seeing the demon's indifference, his formality towards you, not going forward from the title of 'My Lady' is threatning to let itself loose.

A single tear slips down your cheek.

Before you can hurriedly wipe it away, Barbatos is already in front of you, kneeling as he wipes away the tear with a swipe of his gloved thumb.

"MC," He whispers, and your eyes widen, for you haven't been this close to Barbatos, or anyone for that matter. You can see the faint blush of his cheeks, the turquoise of his eyes, the fringe that reaches his nose, and you reach out, tucking it behind his ear, an action that makes the demon blush.

It's the first time he's used your name.

"Perhaps it is both my hesitancy and my disposition that I haven't broken down the walls of formality. I should have done that earlier." He chuckles as he caresses your cheek with his knuckles, and you're rendered tongue-tied as you stare into his eyes. He's never been so honest and so open with you before.

His eyes fall on your lips, then dart back towards your own bewildered ones. "I've never been the one to talk about my desires and thoughts so openly, but I fear I may cross boundaries."

You place a hand on his chest tentatively as you mumble, "I won't mind at all." The demon leans even more closer, impossibly closer until your foreheads are touching, until you can feel each other's breath, until you can feel the hammering of his heart, beating excitedly, mimicking your own.

"Would I be rude if I said I love you?"

Words fail to spill past your lips when you hear his confession. Your mouth remains open as you stare tongue-tied into his eyes, because Barbatos has never been so blunt about his desires and wishes, and yet, he's opening himself to you today.

And it's exactly what you wanted.

"Would it be rude if I said I love you too?" There's a teasing grin on your face as you confess, with mischief brewing in your eyes as you stare the demon whose in the same state of wonder you were in.

Smiling at his predicament, you take his hands and slowly begin removing his gloves. Barbatos doesn't say anything, only observes as you remove the fabric and gently caress the newfound skin beneath. And when you look up, the demon's breath hitches.

"Kiss me, Barbatos."

He wastes no time in springing forward, cupping your cheeks with his hands bare of any gloves as your lips meet. It's something else, entirely, as Barbatos kisses you like a man deprived.

When you deepen the kiss, he sighs, before carding his fingers through your hair, submitting to the sensation and the experience of being utterly in love.

This time, when Barbatos kisses you, you see him, not the dutiful butler that doesn't reveal his true emotions.

This time, you're seeing the true Barbatos, devoid on any masks and any walls surrounding his heart.

And to be the one he's giving his heart to, it's something you want to treasure for all eternity.

But he pulls away, too soon for your liking.

"Barbatos," You whine, still trying to pull the demon towards you but he chuckles before picking up a cupcake and bringing it towards your mouth.

"I want you, not the cupcake!"

He laughs, still insistent on feeding you the baked good, and you comply in defeat.

"I prepared it specifically for you, because you'd be arriving."

The cupcake lies forgotten in your mouth.

The demon, he—he knew, and yet he waited for you to make the first move?!

His cheeky grin confirms it, and you swallow the remaining cake in your mouth, before grumbling.

You forgot he was a demon who could see realities and choose from them.

"I hate you." You mutter, choosing to instead stare at the roses which Barbatos planted, because you're fully intent on having the demon make it up to you.

"Love," He whispers, and you can feel the heat rising to your cheeks, because he never used that endearing name either. Still, you choose to not spare him a single glance.

But when he blocks the view of the roses, you try to turn away again before he swiftly angles your chin towards him. Barbatos is smiling as he gazes at you, and you can't help the turning of your lips because he's simply that cute.

"If I had made the first move, we'd be interrupted at least thrice." At that you giggle. The brothers or Diavolo would certainly cause a lot of interruptions. You can't imagine the frustration that would arise. "And besides, I like to see that bold side of you."

You splutter ungracefully at that, wanting to look anywhere but into the demon's eyes, and Barbatos laughs, a sound which makes your heart beat in glee.

"Shut up." You mumble, before pulling the demon closer, and when your lips meet again you smile, before deepening the kiss.

You can feel Barbatos stiffen up momentarily, but he returns the kiss back with equal vigour, and the world lies forgotten except the two of you, two fools utterly in love, struck by the arrow of Cupid.

~

i always think about this scene when astarion’s inspo comes up 😭😭 astarion is everything ron swanson HATES about the government employees (he was a magistrate or whatever) yet i think they would chuckle at each other’s sass

this game has no right to be as funny as it is

alright see. i have absolutely zero ability to form romantic connections in real life so this is a question that boggles my brain

every variation of this has been asked but tell me. which of your favs do you think you could realistically pull and/or what’s a reason you think you couldn’t bag one

Cazador: My (512M) spawn (239M, 367M, 349M, 402M, 371 F, 302 F, 363 F) have unionized

wtf is a threesome? write me love letters and die in war