Okay, Can I Just Say…wow????? Like, Actually Holy Mother Of Everything I Would Want In A Love Story???

i always think about this scene when astarion’s inspo comes up 😭😭 astarion is everything ron swanson HATES about the government employees (he was a magistrate or whatever) yet i think they would chuckle at each other’s sass

this game has no right to be as funny as it is

Cazador: My (512M) spawn (239M, 367M, 349M, 402M, 371 F, 302 F, 363 F) have unionized

90s heartthrob tingz ✨

Nightbringer lesson 7 fanart I’m still laughing, Solomon is so hecking chaotic I love him.

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I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself

The jp server is going through some stuff.

this made ME smile omg

he picks up his phone on the first ring, ‘yes sweetheart? did you already reach? where are you?’

‘i’m almost there ken but i think i’m gonna need a minute or two to recover’

concern flooded his mind ‘recover? what happened-‘

‘i just saw the most beautiful man ever!’ you squeal through the phone.

what.

‘he’s drop dead gorgeous ken! and he’s not even doing anything, he’s just- standing there’ you sigh dreamily.

‘oh my god ken, his jaw is so chiseled i could grate cheese on it’ your squealing continues.

‘my love, what are you talking about?’

were you being serious right now? was his jaw not chiseled enough to grate cheese? was he not gorgeous?

why were you calling him, your dear boyfriend, to gush about some man guy?

‘and he’s in this light blue dress shirt which you already know is my personal weakness’

wait. oh.

just then, a small smile makes its way on to his face.

‘ken ken ken he just smiled! i think it might be my favourite smile ever! oh god, it’s so beautiful’ you’re swooning on the other side.

‘really? tell me more’ he’s full on grinning now.

‘i could go on and on but you know what? i think i’m gonna shoot my shot and ask him out. i’ll let you know how it goes later. bye, i love you’ you hang up and he has to stop himself from laughing.

he pockets his phone when sees you crossing the road to get to him.

you throw a small wave at him ‘hey, i was on my way to see my boyfriend but then i saw you and you’re just so beautifully sculpted and i decided that i’d rather spend my life with you instead. what do you say?’

‘i’ll have to ask my girlfriend about that’

clicking your tongue ‘of course a guy like you is off the market’ you feign defeat ‘but i bet i’m more prettier than her’

his eyes scan you from top to bottom ‘you’re ok i guess’

scoffing ‘gee ken thanks a lot. what’s the harm in playing along for a little bit?’ you pout, making him snicker.

you and your antics never fail to amuse him.

you feel his arms wrap around you then and pull you to his chest as you melt into him.

‘i’m not lying. my girl is the prettiest’ he says.

‘and i wasn’t either, you really do have a jaw for grating cheese’

(rblogs appreciated🤘🏼)

my friends jerk off to more avant-garde concepts than your friends do

this is a mephistopheles stan account and i wholeheartedly agree with all of this

Thoughts on the three new characters? 👀👀

alright alright alriiiiiight

thirteen is hot as hell, not gonna lie. her striking eyes and colorful hair, it's just— *chefs kiss* i'm so glad we finally have a female love interest for the game and it makes my lil gay heart so happy ^-^

raphael... i am so sorry but i can't get over how similar him and mammon look. i know they have drastically different behaviors and raph is an angel and all buT yeah :c i think they could've done more to differentiate their designs

finally.. drum roll, please. m e p h i s t o p h e l e s !!! he is fine as fuck. purple hair? gorgeous. gloves? impeccable. the fact that he reports gossip for a living and made those dialuci stickers? PHENOMENAL. i need his dick down my esophagus asap

i'm on my laptop so no emojis :( but imagine having car sex with your fuck buddy kyo. you two are coming back from eating out and you don't feel like going back to your room so he pulls into an empty car park and brings you to the back seat so that he can pound into you until you're screaming. he also gives the best grunts and kisses when he's orgasming.

and as he rearranges your guts, your ex boyfriend calls you, something that bastard‘s been doing a little too often for kyoutani‘s personal liking because even though the two of you had agreed on casual fucking, he of course had developed feelings for you. how could he not when you were his personal embodiment of perfection. he knows you‘re also into him but refuse to admit it to yourself because you‘re still scared that things will turn out the way they did with your ex and kyoutani is determined to prove you wrong.

so he makes you pick up the call, his thick cock balls deep buried inside of your spasming cunt and his soft little grunts in your ear. by the time you‘re talking again, he picks up the pacw of his hips, his thrusts growing harder and even deeper, the tip of his cock grazing your sweet spot every single time and no matter how much you wordlessly beg him to give you permission, he firmly presses your phone to your ear.

he makes you cum, his name the only thing to leave your bit swollen lips, your ex more than just confused as to what the fuck is happening before kyoutani takes your phone and ends the call with the words "she‘s mine now, loser" and you don‘t deny it because you‘ve been his for a long time.