Study Sessions On Wednesdays Feel Almost Relaxing 🎞️

my uni dorm <3

01.09.2022

train rides & cafés beloved

to do list? done! (well had to push some stuff but the important stuff)

wildly dancing to: family ties - bastille

Just finished watching "Love, Simon". It's a beautiful story. The point especially where Simon mentioned how he hated it that only gay people had to come out, not the heteros. I mean, we all have lived with common standards for so long that everything different either stands out or just becomes a brave story for us to feel proud of. Can't they be just another story? Can't they be simply them? The thing is, we don't let them. They are all same as us, only difference is that they like John not Betty, or they like Shein not Randall- but who they like puts them into a whole new category for us. Because now they have to conform to the "gay" standards to prove their sexual orientation to us. I often think, why do we need people to do this and that just so they can be it for themselves? Or that why people need to be either this person or that person? Why not bits of everything they want to be or are? Being a human, a person, a complexity in itself is a beautiful puzzle- but why does it always have to be in colours we can see?! Why can't it be in shades we've never known, heard of, seen, smelt or even felt on the skin? Why can't it just be?

I have often thought about this and yes, simply earning something doesn't imply that you put your best work there. We should realize that we are living in a complex society, so much so that the chain of work to result is rather straight than a loop. The real work is not paid for enough and people with power keep manipulating loads to themselves rather than taking only enough for what they truely do. Just because we have something infront of us doesn't make it our possession, we should be aware of when we are exploiting someone else's share just because they can't reach it but we can.

If you have billions of dollars it shouldn’t be a crime to steal from you. You’ve got enough money that your security should be your own responsibility and anyone who manages to swipe from your hoard deserves applause for besting a supervillain

“It’s literally impossible to be a woman.

You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow, we're always doing it wrong?

You have to be thin, but not too thin, and you can never say you wanna be thin. You have to say you wanna be healthy, but also, you have to BE THIN.

You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass.

You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean.

You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas.

You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time.

You have to be a career woman, but also, always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is INSANE, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining!

You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood, but ALWAYS STAND OUT and ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL. But never forget that the system is rigged, so find a way to acknowledge that but ALSO, always be grateful!

You have to never get old. Never be rude. Never show off. Never be selfish. Never fall down. Never fail. Never show fear. Never get OUT OF LINE. It's too hard! It's too contradictory, and nobody gives you a medal or says 'thank you!' And it turns out, in fact, that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also, everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself, and every single other woman tie herself into knots, so that people will like us.

And if all of that, is also true for a doll just representing a woman, then I don't even know." -Gloria the barbie movie

this is it. this is exactly it oh my god.

Poor man, the literal theme of this episode was "confuse TF out of Marc", "make Marc cry", "make Marc cry some more", "why TF is Marc not crying yet again?", "If you won't, then I'll make Marc cry" and "because Marc just has to cry".

His whole story and trauma of it broken down and presented. It was a crucial episode.

I like the idea that both the identities were acknowledged as seperate conscious in the afterlife, like even the goddess was entirely confused about the whole alter business because humans have literally managed to advance almost all shit's to next level of course.

The fact that both Marc and Steven dutifully ignored the last coffin (aka Jake the cabbie, really just a baby) and so the scales never truly balanced and only balanced after Steven died? Like Marc just saw Steven die and the goddess is like "ohh, the scales balanced?". I was heartbroken to see Steven gone. So will be Layla.

Marc with his hands on his waist and literally stating flatly, "Bitch, we mental. Why else?"

The happiness that man felt about being dead rather than crazy won my heart, of course Marc- priorities. But still, to a man who's been broken in terms of mental space almost his whole life- that must have been to precious of clarity. His brother's death for which he blamed himself, his mother's hate, her violent abuse- both mental and physical, his trauma serving in military (from where he got discharged due to him often escaping into his fugue state- his mental disorder, the chaos causing him to be a liability for military), then as a mercenary (because that's apparently the only job he could get with what skills he had), then almost dying- like he literally was going to shoot himself to end the pain. Then killing in the name of protecting and delivering justice. Trauma, trauma, trauma.

And the way Marc believed that he chose his life as khonshu's avatar because he couldn't live like anything else but a killer- because that is what he always was (probably thinking of his brother, oh god).

Steven finally understood though that khonshu had manipulated Marc from the beginning.

Also, I think Jake knows of both Marc and Steven because he could kill the bitches who'd bother them, possibly because he knew of Marc's skills, like Steven could do shit when he realised he was Marc in a way, atleast with the physical abilities.

Day 9/100 of Productivity

I keep swinging between feeling very on top of everything and feeling wildly unprepared. I'm sure the coffee jitters don't help.

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You think I don’t ship this?

Moon knight episode 4 [AHHHHHHHH!!!]

Oh, this scene right here! Marc being a protective husband and being jealous as fuck and threatened by his own alter about his wife.

"Are you in love with my wife?!"

And then the beautiful intimidating threat.

"I'll throw us off a cliff!!!"

And then despite the clear threat baby Steven goes and kisses Layla after telling her that Marc does care for her and isn't the grandest of assholes. This sweet bastard. Then of course, Marc exhibits his skill of how to be a TWAT.👇

By making Steven punch himself while he was still sporting a goofy as hell smile over his kiss with Layla. 👀This shit was the funniest part to me in this episode.🤣

Here, how Steven comforts Layla about her father and how she beams again at Steven for making her feel better.

Layla and Steven had amazing interactions throught the episode. The part where Steven went nerdy mode and explaining the Eye of Horus and relevancy of other senses to gods and all and Layla looked slyly at Steven, impressed of course. Almost like she found a nerdy best friend, awwww! And the part where Steven was ranting and then realised how quiet Layla was being and straight up went like....👇

Although I did feel very bad in this scene for Marc when Layla confronted him. I mean when the whole story came to light of how he almost died saving her father and he'd have died if khonshu hadn't chosen him to be his avatar.

Ofcourse, the tomb priest zombie.

"What the bloody hell's a Heka?"

Well, Steven. You killed one.

I cracked up at his anxiety, politely of course. He KILLED a fucking Egyptian mummy or shit and he's never done shit like this before. He's both horrified and amazed at hell at his actions and his luck. Probably thinking, "How the hell I even did that?!", meanwhile chanting, "I squished it. I squished it."

This scene was bloody funny. At first they both literally encounter a fucking hippo dressed as a Pharaoh? And then it speaks in the most fucking unexpected voice- of a female?! And these two are suddenly screaming because they definitely DID NOT EXPECT THIS and so it's SOMEHOW SEEMING MORE SCARY. Oscar Issac has mastered the screaming scenes LOL. And also the difference in both of their hand movements while they scream? Steven has a defensive pose like "Fuck, don't come at me?!". Meanwhile Marc is like, "Bitch what?!!"

And the part where they find a third coffin? But ignore it? Baby Jake?!!

And also the concept they used that Alexander the great was the last Avatar of Ammit. And how they turned the concept of his lost tomb to an awesome part of the episode.

Everything was bloody awesome!