How We Write A 350 Word Essay.

So, the host’s boyfriend came and talked to us, made sure we were okay, that was cool. I ended up talking it out and feeling much better afterwards.

So that’s nice.

-renfield

I’m out and masking so hard, even though we’re among friends who are aware I’m just not super comfortable.

And let me tell you, masking a British accent in an American environment is so not the best.

Especially when everyone keeps asking you if you’re okay cause a second ago the host was out having a panic attack.

This is my life at the moment.

-renfield

Isn’t it great when you have chest pain and whatnot? And because you have all sorts of undiagnosed physical issues AND you’re afab you just kinda have to deal with it and not let your anxiety eat you alive? Great right?

That system feeling when,

“We don’t actually have a lot of physical trauma so-“

Huge flashback and muscle spasm because of it.

“Never mind.”

So, the host of our system has written a novel. Fantasy fiction type that can be really dark at times. She’s been working on it for like ever and is really proud of it. She’s in the final editing stages. Good for her.

But… as with any media we hyperfixate on, we now have a fictive of probably the most traumatized character in the whole thing. And they really miss their friends that they fought so hard to protect. Recently they came out and was talking with the hosts boyfriend, something they had refrained from doing with anyone. And he asked if the fictive wanted to talk about his friends in source.

This was a game changer, up to this point we had refrained from thinking of any of our sourcemates as real people. We didn’t want to cling to them. But then someone suggested that we were valid for missing them, and that they were more than a figment of our imagination. Which was revolutionary to our system and thought process.

So for the first time one of our fictives started reminiscing on their friends from source. It was incredibly therapeutic for them. And as much as we’re aware that clinging to source can make moving on harder, there is a certain level of acceptance and respect you have to give it first. Letting go of your source does not mean forgetting. It just means accepting that you can’t go back.

Anyways, in case you didn’t guess the traumatized fictive from the host’s book is me. I’m the traumatized fictive.

Yay for me.

So if you’re a fictive struggling with missing source, maybe try this out and see if it helps.

Hi! Just wanted to let you know you're doing awesome and I'm proud of you!

Thank you so much. 😊 we appreciate you!

One of the most validating things you can do as a system is try to act like one of your alters, you will very quickly realize you can’t, because it’s just not you. So whenever you need a validation boost, turn on a camera so you can look back on it, and then pick one of your alters and pretend to be them for a few minutes. It’ll look stiff and awkward and not quite right. Because it’s not them.

This tip has been from Apollo. Goodnight people’s

So these tags were on my post about amnesia. And I want to address it. Short answer, no you do not. You need blackout amnesia (assuming that’s what you meant by full amnesia) in order to have DID.

DID is not the only way to have a system, OSDD 1-b has very little or no amnesia and still has alters, so does p-DID.

Though I do want to differentiate between the different types of amnesia.

Emotional amnesia: where you don’t remember any emotions that you were feeling during the event.

Greyouts: when you remember what happened but have no memories of it, as if someone told you about the event but you weren’t there.

Blackouts: when you don’t remember anything about what happened, and you often don’t remember that you missed something.

I’d also like to mention that amnesia often doesn’t happen in the moment, often the memory will fade over a short period of time until they’re gone. At least that’s what I experience.

Anyways, here you are @sprites-your-cal

Hope this helped

-Apollo

People in my head go brrr

-Nick (my boyfriend who stole my phone)

-Hunter

[Text: This introject isn't their source.]

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Before you judge me, please read the whole thing.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. It’s definitely true that fictives aren’t their source, and you can’t judge a fictive based on their source, that being said, isn’t it okay for a fictive struggling with being triggered by source trauma to set healthy boundaries?

It’s like if you have medical trauma and you don’t like going to the doctors because of a bad experience. You aren’t saying that all doctors are evil because you don’t want to get a check up. You’re just admitting that you aren’t in a healthy spot to deal with that trauma or any reminders of it.

There are definitely situations where people misuse the “DNI” and make blanket statements, but I believe it’s totally plausible to believe fictives aren’t their source, and still put down a boundary to help you feel okay.

If that boundary is put down so you can villainize alters with specific sources, then yeah you’re being problematic. But otherwise I see no issue with distancing yourself from something triggering for you

"fictives aren't their source" and "(source) fictives DNI" do NOT belong in the same bio.