Nuclear Wasteland

The following poems appeared in the episode broadcast on Tuesday:

1. The 21-st century time-traveling heroine, Hae Su, is mesmerized by a Goryeo prince’s beautiful calligraphy. What the family-loving and genteel man writes is a piece of prose titled “Home Again” by Six Dynasties Chinese poet Tao Yuanming, which describes the poet giving up his governmental post for a peaceful, simple life at his countryside home. (Original text | Translation)

2. As a confession, the prince gifts her “Bamboo Stalk Song,” a poem by Tang author Liu Yuxi that uses inconstant weather as an analogy for ambiguous love. (Original text | Translation – be sure to read the footnote)

3. Since modern-day Koreans are generally not as well-versed in classical Chinese, Su has to depend on his brother and wife (also her cousin) for the interpretation. This, of course, leads to some awkwardness and fury, which Su fails to notice. Then, ignoring the romantic undertones of the poem, she hilariously attempts to copy Goryeo official Kim Ji-dae’s poem on majestic and serene scenery, “Yugasa Temple,” as her response to the prince. Since no translation is available online, The Chair is supplying its own below:

瑜伽寺 유가사 (note that the Korean alphabet has not been invented then)

寺在煙霞無事中 (사재연하무사중) 

亂山滴翠秋光濃 (난산적취추광농) 

A mist surrounds the tranquil temple in the evening light 

A jumble of green mountains and the marvelous sights of autumn beckon

雲間絶磴六七里 (운간절등육칠리) 

天末遙岑千萬重 (천말요잠천만중) 

Steep stone steps rise for six to seven miles into the clouds 

Numerous layers of hills lie at the faraway horizon

茶罷松簷掛微月 (다파송첨괘미월) 

講闌風榻搖殘鍾 (강란풍탑요잔종) 

After sipping tea, one sees a new crescent hanging at the pine canopy 

After a lecture, one hears lingering bell notes from the sleep chambers

溪流應笑玉腰客 (계류응소옥요객) 

欲洗未洗紅塵踨 (욕세미세홍진종) 

The streams must be laughing at the government official, 

Who tries to but cannot wash away his worldly marks

(References: Naver, Apple Daily)

Su eventually settles on this reply: \^0^/

According to Apple Daily, the netizen who identified this poem noted that the current name for a temple which used to be called Yugasa is Donghwasa / 桐華寺. 桐華 is the name of the Chinese novelist who penned the book the show is based on. Readers may like to know that there is another Yugasa Temple, which retains its name to this date and has been associated with the poem. All the same, we are free to regard the coincidence as a cross-cultural tribute.

Similar plots can be found in Scarlet Heart, the 2011 Chinese drama adaptation of the novel. Most poignantly, the quick-witted, Chinese time-traveling heroine there struggles to pronounce the exquisite vocabulary used in letter writing in Qing China, finding herself as good as illiterate despite her education and white-collar background. In both cases, too, it may be one thing to read about polygamy and marriage between closely related individuals as a side note in history books, but another to see it simulated three-dimensionally, with actors viewers emotionally identify with. Time slip shows, clearly, provide excellent opportunities for examining how robust people’s connection to their ancestral past can or should be. On one side, there are the issues of lost heritage and pardoning historical figures for being products of their times. On the other, we have arguments for cultural pride in using language entirely of your own (for Koreans), heightened literacy rates brought about by simplified languages, and support for modern ethical sensibilities.

For more Sino-Korean and Chinese poetry, you are welcome to explore this site category or search for Kuiwon’s very informative WordPress blog, which The Chair has long wanted to introduce here. Kuiwon has also written at length about his thoughts on the issue of Chinese character usage in South Korea. His view, however, neither reflects nor contradicts this site’s.

One mistake in the Korean adaptation warrants notice. As the netizen reported, the story takes place in the AD 900s, but Kim Ji-dae lived from 1190 to 1266, so the writing Su copied from could not have been lying around. At least it is a romantic notion that a book traveled back in time with you—theoretically more romantic, perhaps, than being wooed by the husband of your sick cousin.

How it started 90% of the time: YASSS! Master Soapy T-Rex has only three lines to say about this impossible drama concept. Time guilt suppressed.

How it always ended:

soapver4.tumblr.com

Sentient Jams

Metadrama idea: Fairies and demons ranting against fates repeated across lifetimes, generations and realms — plunging down abysses, unsealin

Game theory surrounding She Was Pretty (via Monte Carlo Fallacy)

Jordanian Inspiration, Joseon Incarnation

Jordanian Inspiration, Joseon Incarnation

 詠半月 (영반월) – 황진이 (黃眞伊) 誰斷崑山玉 수단곤산옥 裁成織女梳 재성직녀소 牽牛離別後 견우이별후 謾擲壁空虛 만척벽공허 Translation: Half Moon Poem – Hwang Jin-yi (Joseon poet and gisaeng) Who broke off jade from the mythical Kunlun mountains and fashioned it into a comb for the weaver fairy? After she and her cowherd lover separated, it was thrown haphazardly on the blue sky. It is not unusual to depict scenery through fashion. Clones of…

View On WordPress

Back-to-Work Sleeping Beauty Vampire

Name: Adelina Codruț 

Age: 1,291

Education:

University of the Dark Arts, PhD in Vampiric Studies

University of Transylvania, Master of Vampirism

Rural Academy of the Undead, Bachelor of Aerodynamics and Bachelor of Mental Aerodynamics

Skills:

Plowing, sowing and weeding garlic fields (Seriously, garlic.)

Fang sharpening

Moving undetected in the shadows

Transformation into a bat or wolf

Mistress of disguise even in human form

Seductive and charming

Mysterious skill sprouts

Bilingual in English and Romanian

Proficient in several other languages

Skilled in leadership, strategy, and negotiation

Writing bestsellers in coffins

Experience:

Founder and CEO of the Transylvanian Vampire Council

Author of the best-selling books "Nightweight, Nightyears," "Solar Utopias" and "Draculas" and the well-acclaimed investigative publication "The True Count: Vampire Migration and Statelessness"

Negotiated a peace treaty between the vampires and the humans in 2077

Led the vampire nation to victory in the Great War of 2123

Slept for almost a century after that due to exhaustion

Awards and Honors:

Vampire of the Year Award (2065, 2077, 2123)

Most Distinguished Vampire Award (2064, 2065)

Order of the Bat Medal (2077, 2123)

Vlad Dracul Award for Excellence in Vampiric Studies (2022)

Summary:

A highly experienced and skilled vampire with a proven track record of success. Seeking a position where I can use my talents and abilities to further the cause of the new vampire-human federation.

References:

Available upon request. (As long as I can find them alive.)

Additional Information:

I am a vegetarian and do not drink blood from humans.

As a being of darkness with unparalleled longevity, I am looking for a career that will provide me with a steady source of income. After slumbering for nearly a century, I am ready to bring my unique skillset and perspective to the world of the living once again.

I grew up in abject poverty. I knew from a young age how merciless life could be. I saw my grandfather burning at the stakes and my mother weeping in an unhinged manner as she cut off the one uncharred limb from his corpse and forced mush made up of the flesh down the throats of her hungry brood.

My education was punctuated numerous times by continental wars, civil strife and drastic policy about-turns. I toiled through a long string of menial jobs before I could afford college. To build up my endurance, I deliberately put myself through challenges like the garlic field stint above. You can trust me to rise up to the challenges of post-hibernation employment too.

During the many periods I have been awake, I have seen the rise and fall of numerous civilizations, some up close. I can give valuable insight into a multitude of ancient societies, offering my unique perspective as an immortal observer. Additionally, I can draw from my memory numerous specific events, figures, and cultural phenomena that would be lost to history were it not for my own personal repository. I believe I am a wealth of ancient knowledge waiting to be shared with the world.

I have also been blessed with the gift of vivid dreams, which, coupled with the yearning of my subconsciousness during those long years of hibernation, fortuitously allowed me to live a second life, experiencing the times and the people I missed in my long slumber. I was able to soak in stories from the olden days, keeping myself sharp and current with the events of the world even while I rested.

When I was not dreaming of the times and people I missed during my long slumber, my intrepid soul would travel through the fabric of time into the very far, post-species future, witnessing the course of fast-forward vampire and human history, collecting the knowledge and insight of millennia and emerging with unparalleled wisdom.

In short, my unrivaled experience in history, politics, and culture are unmatched in the present day, making me a perfect asset to any organization. My appetite for hard work and exploration is as clear as moonlight. I am eager to discuss this opportunity further and look forward to hearing from you soon.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

The time-bending, blood-loathing, immortal vampire,

Adelina Codruț 

Email: vampadelina@ahumaneditor.ai

Bard's Dark Forest Cuisine

Macmillan

The Dark Forest

Soon to be a Netflix Original Series!"Wildly imaginative." —President Barack Obama on The Three-Body Problem trilogyThis near-future trilogy

Soon to be dramatized. Spoiler alert.

Black Forest cake. This is a rich and decadent chocolate cake that is filled with cherries and whipped cream. The dark color of the cake is a symbol of the dark forest, while the cherries represent the stars.

Sainsbury`s Magazine

Black forest gateau recipe by Eric Lanlard | Sainsbury`s Magazine

This delicious black forest gateau recipe from Eric Lanlard is the perfect dessert for a special occasion

Shrimp cocktail. This is a classic appetizer that is made with shrimp that are cooked in a cocktail sauce. The shrimp represent the civilizations that are hiding in the dark forest, while the cocktail sauce represents the fear and paranoia that exists between them.

Kitchn

You're Just 30 Seconds Away from the Best-Ever Cocktail Sauce

It comes together with just a handful of condiments.

Oysters Rockefeller. These are oysters that are topped with a creamy sauce that is made with spinach, bacon, and Parmesan cheese. The oysters represent the civilizations that are trying to survive in the dark forest, while the sauce represents the hope and determination that they have for the future.

Food Network

Grilled Oysters Rockefeller with Baby Spinach Bacon Fondue

Get Grilled Oysters Rockefeller with Baby Spinach Bacon Fondue Recipe from Food Network

Black bean soup. This is a hearty and flavorful soup that is made with black beans, tomatoes, onions, and garlic. The black color of the soup is a symbol of the dark forest, while the beans represent the civilizations that are trying to survive in it.

The Pretty Bee

Three Ingredient Black Bean Soup.

A super simple and tasty recipe for black bean soup that uses just three ingredients that you probably already have in your pantry ! Vegan a

Take the AI definitions with a pinch of Himalayan black salt, however. Numerous variants of a dish often exist. With that in mind, bon appétit.

The Bedtime Cosmos Gossiper

An AI Thriller-Comedy Collaboration between Bard and Hugging Face, with some interference from a biological entity.

To capitalize on the hype surrounding an escalating space race, social media lords in an alternate timeline decided to expand the range of their location tags to outer space, where commercial outposts and interplanetary tourism shuttles were starting to emerge. They were too happy to turn the science fiction novels they adored into reality, except that they had no idea, no idea at all, how much stranger than fiction reality was.

Jimena was just another kid pajamas influencer on video channels and Twitter until one fateful day, she received a mysterious direct message from none other than the Sun itself! The tag of the account confirmed its location, where no conceivable organism could possibly stay. Little did Jimena know that the Sun was sentient and had been using social media as a secret platform for celestial bodies to share their private interests, thoughts and lives with each other.

Was it a technical error or a prank? Could it be passed off as one? Nobody was taking chances. The message from the Sun contained some juicy celestial secrets - but before Jimena could even process what she had read, she started getting messages from all sorts of astronomical entities demanding she delete her knowledge of their dirty laundry. But Jimena wasn't going down without a fight; she knew that this was the biggest opportunity for her career and refused to back down.

As she began designing pajamas videos hinting at the gossip-worthy content, she quickly became a target for all sorts of interstellar enemies - including asteroid belts, black holes, supernovae, and even a vengeful solar wind. With the entire cosmos against her, Jimena realized she would have to rely on her quick wit and sharp tongue if she wanted to survive long enough to see her big breakthrough.

Despite the odds stacked against her, Jimena managed to outsmart the forces aligned against her by tapping into a vast collection of memes, GIFs, and viral content. For a start, she created and showed to the belts, for the purpose of deterrence, memes comparing different asteroid belts, which could turn them into fashion trends among teenagers. When those teens grew up, they might become billionaire investors on asteroid mining companies, resulting in the destruction of the belts due to over exploitation. Jimena also pulled out algorithms pushing endless recommendations of video shorts of clumsy comets and astronauts that were so funny and entertaining that they became all-sucking black holes to the black holes, who could not resist looking at them. While they were hooked, she of course escaped their gravitational pull. To generate even more distraction, she spammed the internet highway with space probe-facilitated, 24/7 livestreams of her interstellar enemies' celestial crushes. The physically restless supernovae might be harder to subdue but our girl proved there was nothing a series of rainbow flash selfie challenges could not solve.

Ready?

Get set.

Smileyous smileyosion!

Her followers went wild as they watched her take down asteroid belts, fend off black holes and more, all while wearing her signature footie pajamas.

Enraged at the incompetency of its fad-chasing allies, the solar wind finally took action. It began to send an unprecedentedly tremendous explosion of energy toward Jimena, overwhelming Earth's magnetosphere and nearly causing her to be vaporized. She knew she had to do something, but what? Suddenly, Jimena had an idea. She reached into her pocket, opened up Twitter again and started typing.

"Attention, solar wind!" she DMed. "My stories about you were just beginning. I'm a genius at reading between the lines and projecting story developments. So I know your other secrets. I know about the time you accidentally blew up a planet. I know about the time you had an even more torrid affair with a black hole. And I know about the time you got drunk and crashed into a star. If you don't back off, I'm going to go live and tell everyone."

And so even the solar wind stopped in its tracks. Sometimes, the best way to fight back is with humor and truth, she chuckled carelessly to herself.

Jimena emerged victorious and started to return to making pajamas videos. But the eerie ease with which she returned to her original work, free of any more cosmic interference, also started to feel wrong. Why were her many gigantic and mega-powerful enemies so readily intimidated and distracted? She reflected on the private message she first came across and the content she eventually made or promoted in self-defense. Those interstellar entities led long but also lonely lives, barely able to have peaceful physical contact with anyone. Was it really right to prey on their secrets? Maybe, she thought, there might be a better use of her talents than spreading gossip and creating controversy.

Jimena decided to reach out to the celestial bodies she had gossiped about and apologized for her actions. The celestial bodies were surprised and grateful for Jimena's apology. They told her that they had been isolated for a long time yet fearful of revealing their sentience to the fast-learning earthlings and that they were glad to have someone to talk to. Jimena and the celestial bodies became friends, and they often talked to each other about their lives. By and by, Jimena learned a lot about the universe, and she came to appreciate the beauty of the cosmos. This beauty should be woven into her craft, not through the superficially science-imitating kitsch flooding the market, but through actions which kindness the beauty evokes feelings of.

With renewed determination, she pressed record on her camera and spoke directly to her audience. “You guys,” she said softly, “I hope this will be the start of our journey together towards a brighter future.” A smile brightened her face as she signed off, ready to embark on this new chapter in her digital legacy.

As for her fans? Many left disappointed that she was not stirring up drama anymore. Some stayed, drawn to her updated style and approachable personality. Others found fresh voices online better suited to their interests, or simply moved on to newer forms of digital escapism. But no matter what the outcome, Jimena remained resolute in her mission to better herself and the world, one post at a time.

Inspired by her example, countless young individuals followed suit, focusing on artistry rather than angst, building connections versus clickbait.

One day, years later, Jimena stepped backstage following a successful speech discussing digital ethics. Approached by a younger creator sharing similar ideals, she hugged the girl warmly, memories flooding back to her. “Remember, little sister,” she whispered, choking back tears of pride mixed with gratitude, “the whole universe is silently crying out for niceness.”

Space images embedded with the permission of NASA and ESA under their standard conditions. Sources (from top to bottom): NASA, NASA, ESA.

Escape From Everything Everywhere One by One —a film-inspired escape game

A series of escape rooms based on Everything Everywhere All At Once:

(Warning: Spoilerverse ahead!)

The first escape room: The first escape room is set in a laundromat, just like in the movie. The walls are covered in graffiti, and there are clothes and other laundry strewn about the room.

The keys: Players must find items that will allow them to travel to different universes. For example, they might need to find a pair of shiny buttons, a woman's and a man's, to travel to the universe where Evelyn is a movie star reuniting with her old love, or they might need to find a rock with googly eyes among many rocks to travel to the abiotic universe.

The puzzles: The puzzles in the escape room are all based on different universes that Evelyn Wang verse-jumps to in the movie. They block clues to the locations of the keys. For example, one puzzle might involve using the knowledge of a bagel chef to piece together the perfect bagel model, which acts as a knob of an oven cabinet where a key or clue to a key location can be found. Another puzzle would be translating Cantonese words on a signboard, by chaining up a jumble of bilingual dictionaries, only one of which contains English and none of which translates Cantonese to English, in the universe where Evelyn is a sign spinner.

The clues: Like in all escape game recommendations, some of the clues are obvious, while others are more obscure. For example, one clue might be a piece of paper with horrifying tax figures that would wake up even the deadest work zombie, while another clue might be a song lyric that only makes sense if you've seen the movie.

The physical challenges: Some escape rooms entail physical challenges. For example, in the universe where Evelyn is a cook contending with a rival who has a raccoon master, players can "knock out" an army of agile staff members dressed in raccoon costumes by hitting their fake tummies with paintballs. In the universe where Evelyn is an opera star, players are to wear Chinese opera costumes and gather in front of a camera within a time limit. In the hot dog universe—you've guessed it—players must work through everything using hot dog fingers. That, and playing piano keys correctly with their toes. The hot dog fingers could be made slippery, so that it's difficult to control them.

The ending: If players are able to solve all of the puzzles and overcome all of the challenges, they will be able to exit the multiverse through a giant everything bagel. Or maybe, they will beg the game host to let them stay for an eternity.

Obvious choices for background music: Laundry sounds, kung fu themes, Chinese opera, Le Festin, and the soundtracks of the film itself, In The Mood For Love, The Matrix, The Mask and maybe 2001: A Space Odyssey.

The escape room would be a great way to test film lovers' creativity and problem-solving skills while exploring the different universes that Evelyn Wang verse-jumps to in the movie.

Kindly remember to send this human editor and human generative filler the bagel donations.

Accounting on Ice

Thirsty for more action-packed accounting shenanigans? Bring your hockey gear to Accounting On Ice, a fantasized ice sports complex celebrating accounting concepts.

Accounting On Ice has three rinks, each with a different theme:

The Balance Sheet Rink is divided into two halves, representing the assets and liabilities sides of a balance sheet. The assets side is blue, and the liabilities side is red.

The Income Statement Rink is divided into four sections, representing the revenue, expenses, gains and losses sections of an income statement. The revenue section is green, the expenses section is yellow, the gains section is blue, and the losses section is orange.

The Statement of Cash Flows Rink is divided into three sections, representing the operating, investing, and financing activities sections of a statement of cash flows. The operating activities section is orange, the investing activities section is brown, and the financing activities section is gray.

Each rink is decorated with icons of different types of accounting items in the rink (e.g. types of assets and liabilities in the case of the Balance Sheet Rink).

Equipment:

Hockey sticks are styled as mouse pointers and USB dongles.

Pucks come with monetary symbols.

Tournaments:

The scoreboard shows the balance sheet of the complex.

Players wear jerseys with the names of different accounting terms.

Players are to skate around the rinks and score goals in the correct section.

The complex hosts tournaments with names like the "FIFO vs. LIFO Cup" and the "Going Concern vs. Liquidation Challenge."

There is a "Tax Time" skating party, where skaters dress up as accountants and compete in a tax-themed relay race.

Other amenities in the complex:

A ticket office named "Ledger"

A concession stand named "Audit" that offers snacks with names like "Debit Donuts" and "Credit Crunch"

A "Hall of Fame" that recognizes people who have made significant contributions to the field of accounting, categorizing them as "athletes," "builders" or "officials" for metaphorical comparison

A museum named "Rule of 72" that exhibits different artifacts from the history of accounting

A library named "Equity" with books and articles about accounting and with accounting formulae quoted like sayings on its walls

A computer lab named "Common Perennial Aches" with accounting software

A conference room named "T-account" for hosting accounting classes, workshops and seminars

A gift shop named "Trial Balance" that sells accounting-themed merchandise

The complex is open to the public and offers a variety of programs and services for people of all ages and skill levels in accounting and ice sports.

All in all, Accounting On Ice is a fabulous place to learn about accounting in an entertaining and interactive manner, to practice your skills, or to just have some fun on the ice. What are Big Four spectators waiting for? Get your bean counters to work on the bidding prices. You know the rule: No peeking at the human editor's estimated sales value.

Immensely grateful to the lovely souls who gave these little winged ones and trapped Sanya a chance. @tofuxoxo, @lideyna123, @luna11celeste and a blogger who provided feedback.

Drop a message at any time if you spot any issue.

soapver4.tumblr.com

Soul Nymph Engines

Platform idea: A micro-journaling app, coupled to a network of digital billboards displaying selected journal records, in which users post i

Tumblr

𝙱𝚕⧲𝚌𝚔

Element hybridization-expansion idea: Racing honchos amused by a woman angling for the male-dominated world of Formula One trapped her in a