A Proposal

I have some thoughts about an au where Neytiri decides to adopt Spider, but with a twist. Neytiri starts off with a cold, calculated plan to mold Spider into her weapon against the demon who destroyed her family, only to genuinely bond with Spider over time and see him as her own.

-) From the moment Neytiri laid eyes on the squirming, pink-skinned demon, she felt the fire of hatred coil around her heart. He has his father’s face. The same features, the same blood in his veins—Quaritch’s legacy, staring back at her with wide, unknowing eyes and a gummy smile. Instinct screamed at her to cast him away, to have him banished to her mate's former planet, to spare her home from the cruelty of yet another sky demon. But she didn’t. She couldn’t.

-) Instead, Neytiri shoved her hatred into the deepest, coldest part of herself and made a choice. She would raise him. Not out of kindness. Not out of pity. Certainly not out of any foolish maternal instinct. No, she would raise him as a weapon. An instrument of vengeance.

-) Quaritch had stolen everything from her—her father, her sister, her brother, her home, countless lives of her people. And now, she would take everything from him. She would mold his son into something unrecognizable, shape him into the very antithesis of the man who sired him. Spider would walk like the Na’vi, speak their tongue, fight with their weapons, and live by their beliefs. He would forsake the demon blood in his veins until nothing of Quaritch remained. And when the time came, she would watch the fear dawn in the demon's eyes as his own flesh and blood struck him down.

-) There are times when Jake watches her with wary eyes when she helps Spider take his first steps, when she shushes his pitiful bleatings, and when she cradles him in her arms and holds his little hand in hers. There is an unease in Jake’s stare, as if he sees the shape of her plan but does not know how to stop it—or perhaps, deep down, does not want to. It does not matter.

-) Neytiri is resolute. She has a path, and she will walk it to the end. She will strip away every trace of Quaritch’s legacy, reshape him, teach him to hate the sky people, to despise the blood in his veins. He will not be human. He will not be Omatikaya. He will be a blade—her blade. He will be hers. And one day, when the time is right, he will drive that blade into his father’s heart.

-) But like all well-laid plans, this one did not go as intended.

-) Neytiri had expected wariness. She had expected grudging respect, perhaps even a smidgen of pride that he was picking up her lessons with eagerness. What she had not expected was love. Spider is eager, desperate to prove himself. As he grows, he stumbles, falls, bleeds—but always gets back up. He grins at her when she corrects his stance, laughs when she gently tugs at his hair in reprimand, glows under her approval.

-) It should not matter. He is a means to an end. And yet, somewhere along the way, the pretending stops. She began to see him. To feel warmth towards him.

-) Not the reluctant duty of a mentor or the cold satisfaction of a hunter circling its prey, but the aching, unbidden love of a mother.

-) Somewhere between teaching him to string a bow and scolding him for climbing too high, between pressing healing paste to his scraped knees and watching him giggle as Lo’ak and Neyteyam drag him into trouble with Kiri chasing after them and Tuk toddling along, something in her heart shifts. She no longer sees Quaritch in his face and instead sees Miles—a boy as unpredictable and beautiful as the forest, as fierce as any warrior, as stubborn as herself. A child who saw her as a mother.

-) And when the day finally came that she looked at him and realized she could not bear to lose him, Neytiri understood the cruelest twist of fate:

In trying to make him her weapon, she had made him her son.

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so this happened to me today

THE FIC.

@dirtytransmasc I hope you like it. Now I have to get back to my fanfics.

Thank you for scratching that spot in my brain.

My ancestors, watching me dump an entire stick of cinnamon, two cloves, an allspice berry, and a generous grating of nutmeg into my tea, sweetened with white sugar and loaded with cream, while I sit in my clean warm house surrounded by books, 25+ outfits for different occasions, and 6 pairs of shoes, in a building heated so well I have the windows open in mid-autumn:

Our daughter prospers. We are proud of her. She has never labored in a field but knows riches we could not have imagined.

For some reason I never considered that looms could be small and projects could be accessible ?? How did you get started weaving and what resources did you use?? I saw some of the work you’ve made and I want to get started learning so badly!! Help!

Yess! Weaving is great because of how accessible it can be!! Something I also only recently realized!

I've been enamored with weaving ever since 6 year old me saw an enormous floor loom in action at a textile museum. Despite my fascination with textiles, it still took 20ish years before I picked up weaving as a hobby. Looms were pricy, big, and complicated. It wasn't until I came across bandweaving that it really felt like something I could casually pick up without committing to spending a ton of time and money. I started with tablet weaving, but have since switched to weaving with a heddle. I've been learning by referencing books, looking up weaving process videos, and a lot of trial, error, and experimentation.

Here's a list of resources for two very accessible types of weaving that don't need a loom:

Resources for tablet weaving

Tablets can be bought, but are also easy to make at home from a deck of cards, cereal boxes, recycled plastic, etc. You can find a tutorial for creating your own here.

Tablets at Work by Claudia Wollny An incredibly comprehensive book featuring 22 tablet weaving techniques. The book is written in German and English. Highly recommend for the very enthusiastic.

Card Weaving by Candace Crockett The book that got me started. Easy to follow, informative, and much cheaper and easier to find than Tablets at Work.

Elewys of Finchingefeld A great youtube channel for historic tablet weaving.

Resources for weaving with a heddle

Rigid heddles can be bought or laser cut, and string heddles are created at home out of yarn/string. They are similar, but offer different advantages. Rigid heddles can be simpler to work with, especially if you're working with multiple sheds. String heddles require a few more steps to open the down shed, but don't distort the width of your warp threads. This allows you to weave further down your warp, and makes it easier to keep an even band width.

Here is tutorial for creating your own string heddles.

Norwegian Pick-Up Bandweaving by Heather Torgenrud The book that I learned from! Focuses on pick-up weaving, but is a good introduction to bandweaving in general.

Durham Weaver has a blog and youtube channel. They tend to focus on Scandinavian style weaving, and feature content on weaving with a double slotted heddle, as well as how to set up your warp.

Backstrap Weaving by Laverne Waddington is a blog packed with information about weaving with string heddles. They tend to focus on Latin American style weaving.

A Spinner Weaver is a blog about inkle weaving, though the techniques can be done off of a loom as well. Inkle looms are among the cheaper looms and are designed for bandweaving.

Costume. Chitons.

What if ? Miles Spider Socorro - really beautiful AU and fic

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