All Your Stuffed Animals Love You. They're Not Sad If They're In A Box, Or On The Floor, Or Not Held/played

Sherlock being Sherlock

Pairing: Sherlock Holmes x Reader

Summary: Sherlock undermines Y/N’s intelligence while helping out on a case.

Warnings: none

First attempt at writing for Sherlock hope you guys enjoy! 😊

MASTERLIST

---

"Shut up would you darling. You're about as sharp as a sack full of soup when it comes to these things-"

"Sherlock-"

"And sadly I don't have the time nor patience to draw a picture using crayons to explain it to you. So make yourself useful by leaving!" Sherlock knocked all the scattered books and papers that littered his desk in frustration, they weren't making any progress in the case they were working and they had hoped that the teacher could be of use but she also hit a block.

"Sherlock! Y/N you don't have to go, he didn’t mean that." John wanted to smack his friend upside his head for speaking to the one woman that meant something to him like she's some piece of garbage.

"He does." Turning on her heels, she grabbed her bag and headed out the door and down the steps, John briefly glared at Sherlock as he chased after her.

"Y/N wait!" She looked over at him as she slipped on her coat to leave. John paused on the second step trying to come up with the right things to say to get her to not walk out the door and quite potentially Sherlock's life.

"He's an ass and says things that shouldn't be said-"

"Like implying that my IQ level is in the bloody trenches, yeah I gathered that."

"He's just Sherlock being Sherlock."

"No, that's Sherlock being an outright twit that doesn't have a filter." Before he could squeeze another word out, Y/N stormed out the door slamming it shut behind her.

"You're wasting time John, she’s of no use to us with our case. We have so much to-" John turned to look at the curly haired man that stood on the landing.

"What the hell was that?! You didn’t have to call her an idiot like that for goodness sake Sherlock, she's an incredible woman. A woman that loves and cares for you, might I add and you're self destruction is surely going to push her away."

"Oh so what?" John rolled his eyes as he stomped his way back up the stairs to their shared flat.

"You are going to apologise and fix this with her because everyone knows that there isn’t going to be another woman to put up with you and your brash behaviour. I don't even know how she's put up with you for nine months." Sherlock hung his head low, his words finally catching up to him. He knows that he did have to rectify his mistake of yelling at her and making her out to be an idiot when in fact, she's remarkably intelligent.

"I'm serious Sherlock, as soon as we wrap this up you are going to fix this."

"No, nope I need to go after her right now."

"No, if you go after her that's only going to end badly for your face."

---

The rain was pouring down on all of London at eight forty-five at night and Sherlock's pace quickened in the direction of Y/N's home. He shook off the heavy water off of his coat as he took shelter beneath the awning over her front door.

Y/N placed her bookmark in the current novel she was reading and set it off to the side. The doorbell rung again and this time she willed herself from under her blanket and off the couch to go answer the door. It's raining cats and dogs outside so whoever was at her door had to have a good reason to be.

"Hello- oh, it's you."

"Hello, may I?" As much as she would rather not let him into her home it was cold and wet outside and by the looks of it, he had walked here in the pouring rain; and she didn't want him to catch a cold. She headed back up the stairs to her flat leaving Sherlock to let himself in and remove his coat as well as his shoes.

"Why are you here, Holmes? My level of intelligence is miniscule compared to yours and I'm sure you'd rather be in the company of someone that shares your level of competence." Sherlock watched quietly as she fastened her robe to her body to cover up herself. Y/N was still angry at him for earlier and he knew that. He stood in the middle of her living space, dripping water onto her hardwood flooring.

"You know where your clothes are go change, your creating a puddle." Y/N put the kettle on to make tea for the both of them, not like he deserved anything other than a proper slap across the face. While he was changing he tried to formulate the right way to handle this without shoving his foot in his mouth.

"Could we sit down dear?"

"Nope, I'm good right where I am in the kitchen, you could stay all the way over there."

"Don't want me close to you?"

"Unless you want to be bashed in the head with this kettle I think it's best if you stay far away from me." Sherlock brushed off her bluff, closing the distance between them with his long strides. Crossing her arms over her chest, she stared into the pair of blue eyes she's grown to love as he stood mere centimeters away from her.

"I'm sorry."

"For what exactly?"

"For losing my temper, yelling and for saying something I didn't mean. I didn't mean it when I called you useless or made a comment on your intellect, it was the spur of the moment. I was frustrated and I took it out on you when you were only trying to help." Sherlock brushed his knuckles against her cheek and she instinctively leaned into his touch bringing a smile to his face.

"I get that you were frustrated but that isn't a valid excuse Sherlock. You called me darling and a useless idiot in the same breath."

"I know darling and I promise it'll never happen again. Allow me to make it up to you." The towering man kissed the crown of her head, cheek and bridge of her nose making her heart flutter at his affection.

"You've got your work cut out for you Mr. Holmes because I'm not going to make it easy for you and your astonishing brilliance."

"I do love a challenge."

"I know." Sherlock finally pressed his lips against hers in a gentle kiss which was cut short by her kneeling him in the groin. He grunted in pain and stumbled back, holding his crotch in pain. Y/N smiled watching as he doubled over still groaning in agony.

"I deserved that."

---

Honestly don't know if I'll keep writing for Sherlock but we'll see.

Honorary tags:

@sketch-and-write-lover @blackcat420

F. R. I. E. N. D. S

Not sure how spot on I'll be about writing these but I'm willing to try 😊

Chandler Bing - requests open

Friends Secret - another request from @malfoys-demigod Chandler is secretly dating Joey's little sister. The rest of their friends know except her brother.

No More Games - request from @crimesolvin friends to lovers where they both have liked each other and are definitely really close friends, but both are terrified to admit it till something happens to reveal it

Assisting Crush - Request from @achromaticerebus super cheesy chandler fluff where reader lives on the floor below and has been secretly crushing on chandler and the elevators are out of order. Everyone has to use the stairs for the day, but reader has a sprained ankle or crutches so he helps her out.

Ross Geller - requests open

Romantic Rooftop - Request from @mimi33p Ross and y/n are hanging out on the rooftop because they both can't sleep and then Ross ends up confessing his love for her

Joey Tribiani - requests open

Relationship Lie - request by @ohjava. Joey help Chandler and Monica hide their relationship. But the reader hears Joey say he slept with Monica, even though they're dating. Will he be able to clear the confusion before she leaves him.

Protective Bing - request from @malfoys-demigod Reader is Chandler’s baby sister. Joey and the reader are secretly dating. But her brother finds out and goes protective big brother on his roommate.

Green Sibling - He is dating Rachel's sister but olny rachel knew about it and the others find out after a big suprise from Y/n.

Part 2 - request from @tyrionsprincess29

I want a Mini Us - request from @bvbwestfall where everyone's doing there own thing after the season finally and Joey goes to the central perk learning his girlfriend wants a baby because she's almost in her thirtys

Tag List - just ask to be added

@rosie-posie08 @lover-of-books-and-tea

damn girl, are you sex? Cause you kinda scare me like a lot

y/n: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it.

obi wan: Just rip the bandage off.

y/n: It's Anakin.

obi wan: Put the bandage back on.

Got tagged and decided to try it out...

@wondering-how-we-got-this-far

this picrew was just so cute so I'm starting a picrew chain :) (it has the best outfits I'm not even joking)

https://picrew.me/en/image_maker/2073318

no pressure tags (i don't know enough people for this so sorry if we never talk and I randomly tagged you lmao) @rissslays @qwerty-keysmash @tulips-best @medicine-and-molly @octoberconstellation @loveution @dianneorshirbert @august-taylors-version @everycornerofthishouseishaunted @yarkayaslava @ikinregulusblack @ghwoust @nessasluhvs @waitingforthesunrise + anyone else who wants to join :) <3

just rewatched the episode where hotchner ran in the fbi triathlon and boy was he looking hot 🔥 I’d love a blurb where maybe the reader goes to support and the team finds out that Aaron is dating her. it would be so cute if she was hotch and jack’s little secret

A/N: i love me a fit and sweaty man.

“Who are you looking for little man?” Derek asks as he watches Jack’s eyes dart up and down the spectator line.

“It’s a secret.” Jack grins, wide and toothy, and it earns a ruffle of his hair from Derek.

“Alright kiddo.”

“Hey look, there’s your Dad!” Dave’s voice sounds out, and all heads in the group swivel just in time to watch their unit chief dash across the finish line.

“Dad!” Jack runs forward, the paper sign in his hand flapping alongside him.

“Hey buddy,” Aaron smiles, as Jack drops the sign, engulfing his father in a hug. “You’ll get wet.” He warns, dripping with water from the swim, and sweat from the cycle and run.

“I don’t care, you’re the best!” He shouts out, and Aaron hoists him up in his arms, dark patches of water already dotting Jack’s shirt.

The team approaches to extend their congratulations, and Jack cups his hand against Aaron’s ear just before they step into hearing distance, unknown words being whispered for his dad’s hearing only.

“I think she’s right back there.” Aaron points, and Jack cranes his neck, just as you walk into view.

“(Y/N)!” He shouts, wriggle free of his father’s embrace. Aaron drops Jack feet first to the ground, and the little boy is sprinting towards you. You open your arms just in time, to catch him, swinging him around in a circle, before he wraps his arms around your neck, snuggling his head onto your shoulder.

“Hi.” He beams up at you, and you feel yourself melt.

“Hey buddy.” You squeeze him tighter, rubbing your cheek against his forehead as Aaron approaches.

“You’re wet.” You tell him, and don’t miss the slight flare of his nostrils as he catches innuendo, tamping it down only because Jack is with you both.

“That I am.” He says, a glint in his eyes as he extends his arm. You shriek, attempting to side step the span of his arms, but to no avail as he crushes both you and Jack into his embrace.

“Aaron.” You half whine, half chastise as you feel flecks of water and sweat against your skin. “At least you still smell kinda nice.” you grumble, to which he laughs.

“Dad, Aunt Pen is staring.” Jack announces as he peers over Aaron’s shoulder. It makes Aaron chuckle, as he releases you both from his bone-crushing hug to reveal a blonde, and four others staring at the three of you mouth agape.

“Hi.” You grin, somewhat shyly, before you exchange a look with Aaron.

“Aunt Pen, this is (Y/N)” Jack carries out the introduction on behalf of you, “she’s my favourite person in the whole world.”

“She’s mine too.” Is what you hear Aaron say, as he plants a kiss to your temple. You swear you see five jaws drop an inch further.

“Everybody Lies” (2004) // “Everybody Dies” (2012)

I have been vacinated about 30-45 times in my life. Do you know how much I paid for it? Not a dime.

My great-aunt had a tumor and had to treat it with radiotherapy and chemotherapy. She was fully recovered. Do you know how much she paid for it? Not a dime.

One of Brazil's most famous tv show hosts who has been in show business for over 40 years with over 30 milion views had a kidney transplant this year. Do you know how much he paid for the transplant? Not a dime.

When my mother is bored she walks a block up to the public health center and gets a check up. Do you know how much she pays for this? Not a dime.

My mother has been going to the psychologist. Do you know much she has paid? Not a dime.

Does this enrage you? It should. When Luigi said "this" was a insult to the American people's intelligence he probably meant the mediatic circus around his person, but if we're to be honest you could say the same about USA's healthcare politics. Do not let them tell you it "has to be this way" and "there is no other way." There is. You CAN have better healthcare. You DON'T have to sell your house to pay your medical debt. They are MAKING you do this ON PURPOSE. Don't forget that.

I don't usually have any kindness to spare USAians, but we are with you in this one. The world is watching. You CAN turn this around! Don't let them desincourage you.

*Y/N's room in hotel Obsidian*

Five: The world is ending and-

Y/N: Yes, I'm watching a Sitcom, sue me.

Five: ....*sits next to Y/N*

Y/N: you're such a Ross sometimes.

Five: does that make you my Rachel?

Y/N: Well, I always considered us as Chandler and Monica- you being Monica.

Five *shrugs*: fair enough

Klaus from under the bed: And i'll be your Joey

*Y/N and Five scream*

hello dark mode users :)

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