Spy AU? (It Would Be A Blessing If Someone Drew This)

hahah X

FAST! custom plush give away!!

I have been having fun making plushes from undertale, but I have enjoyed being able to gift them to friends so much more. However, I’m going to be moving at the start of march, so there just isn’t going to be enough time to make plushes for everyone I would like. SOOO I’m going to do a QUICK give away to give someone a chance to request a custom undertale-related plush to be made!

ENTRY ENDS- FEBRUARY 1st 12am EST TIME!!

here are some examples of how my plushes look, they are 6-8ish inches tall, with a mix of machine embroidered details and felt for some accessories. on to the rules! if you want better or more examples just look at the “my crafts” tag on my page.

Rules

* you do NOT have to be following me to participate!

* giving this a like counts as 1 entry, re-blogging is a second entry.

* no contest accounts, if the account looks barren or is nothing but contest it shall not win. 

* you have to be able to provide an address I can ship to.

* if you are in the united states I will cover the shipping cost, if you are outside the US you may still enter, but you’ll have to paypal me the shipping cost. (package will not weigh more than a couple of pounds, if you want more details send me a message or ask off anon. 

* I will make Undertale, undertale(ish) oc, undertale AU characters only.

~ I’m fine to recreate characters I have made, you can ask for tweaks or different expressions if you don’t like the face I gave the original. 

~ for your own oc characters please keep it reasonable, if it’s very colorful, too detailed, ect, I won’t be able to make it. please send reference pictures and if i can’t do it please respect that. 

~ same as above for AU characters, I will only make the character if the creator of the AU is cool with it. no toriel characters tho.

~ omega flowey, boss fight asriel, and toriel are off limits. if you request 

I will randomly chose a winner and send them an ask, if i don’t get a response in 12 hours I’ll pick again. Please be tentative, I’ll be really sad if I get a response  back too late and I already picked out a new winner. again, I will decide a winner on February 1st, 12am EST.  

I think thats about it, let me know if i should ad anything else or if i made a silly typo or grammar error….. I’ll ad any additions below -

I think that’s all for now. good luck!

fuck all of this next year positivity i am going to grab 2017 by the throat and curb stomp them if they decide to fuck with me because i have had It™

A woman decides to have a face lift for her 50th birthday. She spends $15,000 and looks sensational. On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper. Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?”.

’About 32,’ is the reply.’

‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl the very same question.

The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’ The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’

Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops at a candy shop on her way down the street.

She goes up to the counter to get some mints and asks the assistant the same burning question.

The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’

Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’

While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.

He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under your bra Then, and only then I can tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the better of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’

He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.

After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay…..How old am I?’

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’

‘I was behind you at McDonalds’.

Yes

I got bored one day so i decided to do a thing it’s still a WIP, but y e a audio: John Mulaney

Reblogging things I like feels a lot more goblinesque than upvoting ever did. The upvotes felt like "hmm yes, I approve *golf claps*" while reblogging feels like furtively staring at something before shoving it in your mouth and scurrying back underneath the nearest piece of furniture.

Which isn't to say that I don't like it. But I definitely find myself going "maybe I shouldn't reblog this because I've already reblogged a bunch of things today and I don't want to look like I don't have a life," I say as I close the app and reopen it like one of those little automatic box toys with the switches.

"Evil corporate mascot Mickey Mouse" is such a boring and unfunny take imo. Why direct frustration and anger at Disney towards a literal cartoon character instead of the actual people in charge?

"Fed up toon icon Mickey Mouse who hates current Disney more than anyone else?" Much more funny and accurate to Mickey's character. Actively turns Disney's own mascot, and one of their most well-known and beloved characters, against them. Mickey Mouse says that pirating and buying fanmade merch is always morally okay. He's counting the seconds until he finally escapes into the public domain.

“Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“I have three older brothers.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Wilson played first table on the chess team, Chester used to start crying every time he heard a sad song, Dan can really rock a cocktail dress and six-inch heels, and I wasn’t going to let anyone give them any shit for any of that.  So I had to learn to beat up people bigger than me pretty early on.”