I Just Love Painting The Sea, I Wanna Do Just That Until I Find A New Thing To Obsess Over

the author's barely disguised longing for a kinder world

went to the gym with a pretty girl. haven't stopped thinking about pretty girl all day. want to go to the gym again with her tomorrow. it wasn't a date, the most touching we did was when i taught her how to properly dap. it wasn't a date, only the reason i woke up anxious and early in the morning and counted down the hours till i was ready to leave. it wasn't a date, it was just a hangout, just a quick couple of push ups and a breakfast together.

it wasn't a date, it wasn't a date, it wasn't a date.

I'm terrified of turning her into an object, into some puppet for my mind to blow out of proportion. I refuse to lust over her, all I can think about are her eyes and her smile and her voice and her future. I'm desperate to get to know her deeper, to know all her ins and outs and hopes and fears and dreams and desires and how to make them her every day. I refuse to simp over her, keeping in mind she has her own life outside of mine, remembering that she's a human with flaws and problems and insecurities just like everyone else.

I went to the gym with a girl, not a goddess.

Yet my heart just yearns to worship.

God help me to not.

me who reads pride and prejudice like a realer man

i don't care about bridgerton i watch pride & prejudice like a real man

I had an interesting night last night

I feel like normies think of tumblr as the fanart and aesthetic and gifset website but real tumblrinas know that our most culturally significant output and our lifeblood is the humble text post

i read CS Lewis’ A Grief Observed one time years ago and i’m still not recovered from it

Okay here's my obligatory post about Tumblr users and their ignorance of rap, as a (white) fan of rap:

Saying "Not all rap music is about violence, here are alternatives" is not helpful, because the violent music ALSO has meaning.

When Biggie Smalls postures about his gang connections and packing heat, he isn't doing it because wow violence is so edgy, it's a powerful statement. Youth in urban areas where gang activity is heavy are often treated as lesser than by default, especially compared to black people the same age from a wealthy background. There's a reason that the "wholesome and respectable" black-lead entertainment of that era was stuff like the Cosby Show, with doctor-lawyer parents, or Family Matters, with a cop dad. There's a reason why the big joke of Fresh Prince is someone with a more unstable upbringing moving in with one of these model black sitcom families.

Standing up and saying yeah, I came from the mean streets, I was molded by this violence and yes, I did what I had to do to survive in a world that refuses to acknowledge my existence as meaningful or worthy of protection. I protected myself, I made my own way, and fuck anybody who tries to stand in the way of that.

Refusing to demonize that environment and wearing it like armor in a way that protects from the authority that wants you to see them as sub humans incapable of only violence and hatred, and saying HEY. I'm here, I lived this, and there is love and there is pain and there is ART in this.

That is powerful. That is the essence of gangster rap.

It isn't about hurting people for fun, it's about holding a mirror up to a society that does the hurting and then calls you a monster for what it's made you. Its about validating the experiences of the disenfranchised and biting back at authority. It's about turning a pain that the world say you deserve being one of those people from those places into POETRY. Into ART.

And thats why it matters.

And thats why you need to shut the yell up and stop dismissing it as violence without substance when you all sat on your ass listening to songs about Hatsune Miku eating people in middle school.

how in the heck was Jane austen so good at writing dialogue. she's literally the best. I've seen no one better

seeing nerdcore fan in the depths of tumblr was not something I expected to see today but I'm not mad about it

fuck killing a victorian child by making them listen to hyperpop all you gotta do is make a white tumblr user listen to rap