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😭

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Made my hair! Love the twists🙇🏾‍♀️

I did half of my sudoku puzzle of the day, mostly binged Lucifer while on Pinterest #pip #andriod, and did nothing much except sit from 3 to 8 pm and do my hair.

I could do a face reveal but I don't know 🫣.

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Woke up late, hospital visit, mall walk, FINALLY GOT THE COURAGE TO ASK IF KFC WAS HIRING AND THEY SAID YES WOOHOO, ate KFC and saw that the manager gave me 2 extra chicken pieces 🤭 (he wants me to apply so baddddd), bed rot, study Italian while simping on Dr. House yet again, gonna draw some ocs before bed while, you guessed it, simping on Dr. House 😝.

K bye x

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Today in two words: Chess, Lucifer

White wins (I bullshited every move)

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Chill day ngl, made this yummy broccoli and carrot soup for my sick cousin and took a small boul of it and it was delishhh in the most simplest way

Mundane day I had, daydreaming about baking, oh yesterday went wrong so I'm glad I had nothing to even think about today lol

8/10, couldve done something more productive but come onnnnn, it's a Saturday. Maybe tomorrow I'll take out my nasty old braids ✌🏾.

Today is 26th of May 2025

I just finished House M.D., and it’s got me messed up in the most beautiful way. This show didn’t just entertain me, it gave me something to wake up for, something to stretch the days around. I’d pace myself like it was a slow-burning love affair, knowing I’d mourn the end even before I got there. And now? Yeah. I’m in mourning.

Every episode, every character, I loved all of it. No skips. No fillers. Just layered, painful, brilliant storytelling. And that extra episode Hugh Laurie directed? It cracked open my respect for the whole damn industry. You can tell when an actor bleeds for a role, and baby, he bled for House.

This show wasn’t just a distraction... it was an escape that made me feel more present than real life sometimes. Now that it’s over, I already want to rewatch it. I already miss it. But not in a “rewind the fun” kind of way—more like visiting an old ghost who used to hold your hand while you cried.

And yeah, it hurts knowing I’ll never get that first-time magic back. I envy new fans. I envy not knowing what’s coming. Out of every show I could’ve chosen, I picked this one, and I stuck to it, to the bitter, bittersweet end.

I didn’t think I could love 177 episodes of a limping, sarcastic, drug-addicted genius who pushes everyone away.....but I did. I do. I loved him when he was cruel, when he was right, when he was spiraling, when he tried. Every twitch of those haunted eyes told me he wanted to be saved, even if he didn’t believe in salvation.

And now here I am, broken-hearted and grateful. Because if you're gonna fall for a show, fall for one that ruins you this perfectly.

Mazel Tov.

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I think I'll create soon, I feel it, I know I will because I desire to create.

The only thing that was stopping me was my close-mindedness, my habit of only thinking inside the box, and being too comfortable with the known.

That is why I have been having an art block, because the only art that I know is self-portraiture. It's what I find comfort in; it's what I'm used to, and it is second to breathing for me.

However, my lack of willingness to explore other realms in art or anything else in general makes something so dear to me feel mundane and automated. As a result, I have no desire to look forward to it.

If I tell you that you are breathing, you will, for a moment, recognize that you are, in fact, breathing and maybe even start doing it manually before you go back to normal. It's like you've become aware... And you have!

And that's definitely what I should do with art, just like how I reminded you that you are breathing, I should remind myself that I am an artist, and by doing that, I'll have someone, or rather, a different branch in art remind me who I am.

Making yourself aware that you're breathing is not the same as me doing it out of nowhere, much like how I know I'm a self portraiture artist, then I'll be like OK and? But if I tell myself I do animation or crafts or 3d art then I'll be like 'wait, but I do self portraiture don't I?' And suddenly my appreciation is back...

Does this make sense, or am I trying too hard? Or are my thoughts translating poorly into text? I might have to write a longer version of this musing for Substack.

Angel x.

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There's this morbid nostalgia in craving the pleasure pain of losing your milk teeth... Ive been feeling that recently. It has motivated me to explore a thought I had and decided to group with my alter ego; and potentially publish a novella under her in my 20s.

This has been fueled more after starting Hannibal, am I crazy idk... But god do I think about the sweet pain of twisting my loose teeth in my raw tearing gums and hearing it rip out with so much wicked joy I can feel the rush.... OK thats enough for now...

Today I did grocery shopping, helped cook, danced around to loosen up since its day 4 of my period and I don't bleed out so I felt happy lol, i posted on my alt, and binged Hannibal, just had a snack and gonna doze off to Hannibal x

Cat kitty cat cqt kitty cat cat

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I believe its time for me to lock in and sign with a modelling agency asap🙏

These ones on the left were from 2023/24 I think... The ones on the right were from last month's casting I went to.

I need to be on the runway before I turn 20 😔💔

Gonna exercise rn and take a shower before bed. Tomorrow I will take new proper digitals and measurements, hopefully seeing the numbers will trigger something in my lasy ass 💀😭.

Stats I know

Height : 180cm/5'11

Weight : ≈63kgs