Hey are you okay? Stay safe
No, I'm not. Literally thinking about suicide and cutting everyday. But I still have hope I guess... I mean, I have a neurological condition called chronic hyperkinetic syndrome, and this thing can appear due to some mental illnesses, and my case looks like that cuz I haven't got tumors, and I'll probably get help, to heal at least CHS. But firstly, I need to go to a neurologist again...
Hear me out.
I'm relate this post so much, but the saddest fact is that I can't cut myself very deep, even though I want it. I wanna see at least derma, not this little cuts that heals in a week.
The euphoric feeling i get when the blood is dripping from my cvts can't compare to anything else in this world
Trying to dump my sufferings to feel healthy again. I can't bear it anymore.
Few weeks ago, I was obsessed with idea of finding new friends to chat in discord with, so I started to try to find friends. And I found one. He was good, and funny, we liked talk together, so we kept chatting.
Yesterday, I did a coming out to him, and he started to mock me, but I didn't say anything. Then he started to say something like "Not think/associate yourself with any gender isn't normal", "There's only two genders", "I'll block you if you keep doing it" and etc.
In the end our friendship ended, cuz I don't wanna listen that I'm insane just because I'm being myself. I don't and won't understand people like him.
I don't understand why some people think that I need partner, fiancé and etc. Why just they don't get the fact that I don't need relationship, if I ever will wanna live with someone, I'd choose live with friends, but I guess that it's better to live alone in your own house.
Also the same story with pronouns, why when I use she/her everything's okay, but when I start to use they/them I just "trying to seek attention", or when people mispronounce you, and it's was done on purpose. Do they really think that my personality will change because of pronouns?
(TW: mention of suicide)
Maybe, it sounds a bit egoistic, maybe not, but I wanna become the legend. I understand that I have literally no qualities to be the legend, to be popular, but I still have hope on it...
You know... If I ever will commit suicide, if I'd be popular people wouldn't forget me. I'm afraid that I'll go jump off the roof when I'll have exams, so...
I want to tell someone about my OCs so hard, LIKE DAMN, I FEEL LIKE I COULD YAP ABOUT THEM FOR HOURS....!
I'm feeling useless, maybe I'm just fooling myself, huh?
Just accept the fact that flash warning doesn't count as a warning when it appears on a 0,1 second with a small font in the bottom of the screen. I hate it when people can't take a minute to make a good tw.
A prophet of worm worshippers. (Definitely not a guy with athetosis!!)
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