Suki Desu

suki desu

Of Monsters And Mondays

tw: family issues, implied abuse, arson, Christian church

Sam loved Mondays.

Monday was hands down the best day of the week. For the simple reason that it wasn’t Sunday anymore and it wouldn’t be Sunday again for a while.

He wished today was Monday. He wouldn’t be here if it was.

But no, it just had to be Sunday morning, 9 o’clock.

Ah fuck, how he despised this hellhole! Every damn week. Again and again. It hadn't changed even a bit since last Sunday, or the one before that, or probably any other Sunday since he'd been baptised here.

Samuel, that's what they'd named him. God hears.

Ironic, wasn’t it? Fast forward 16 long years and God still hadn't ever heard any of his prayers. Or maybe he had and just didn’t care enough to answer any of them. Whatever, made no difference.

Same old place,

same old bullshit.

His gaze travelled up the cracks in the ancient wall, like dead riverbeds carved into the land during a drought, then it flickered past the equally dried up looking image of a crucified Jesus in the stained-glass window. A little further up, he locked eyes with one of the gargoyles lurking on the edge of the roof. Always waiting. Always watching. Ready to pounce the second he turned his back on it.

Same old place,

same old bullshit,

same old monsters.

A horrible dread settled in his stomach, much too familiar and as heavy as the massive wooden door creaking open in front of him. The shadows behind it seemed a little too eager to swallow him. Like the greedy maw that door had turned into in one of his nightmares, where the building had come to live so it could devour him for real.

Not that the place wasn't plenty horrible as it was. He hadn't even set a foot in there and yet he already couldn't breathe. This day was going to suck.

If only he could make himself throw up on demand, then he'd already be puking his guts out all over that pretentious angel statue next to the main gate. Maybe then his mother would have mercy for once, or at least send him home to reflect on what he had done.

Yeah, right! Fat chance.

He cast his mother another pleading look, even when he already knew it would be hopeless.

And of course it was. It always was.

Her cold eyes narrowed, staring daggers at him. The accusation she'd left unspoken rang louder in his ears than the deafening stroke of the bell summoning the churchgoers to worship.

He might have almost been grateful she didn't bring any of it up again. Almost. Because even though she hadn't said anything in a while, she also hadn't smiled at him even once ever since she'd learned the whole truth about him.

What had he been thinking, confiding in her in the first place? He should have known better.

Now something like scorn marked her features every time she laid eyes on him. Disappointment. Disgust. Or perhaps it was just plain disregard for him as a person? Maybe she just didn't think him her son anymore. Maybe all he was to her now was a parental duty left to fulfil, while she awaited the day she could finally erase his presence from her life.

Once upon a secret shared, she may have been the warmth of a summer day, but now, with the deep lines of that scowl on her stony face, she might as well be one of the gargoyles.

And here he’d thought he was supposed to be the monster.

He’d been told he was the one who needed to pray for forgiveness. He was the one who needed to atone for his sins. He was the one who needed fixing. According to all of them, including his own mother, the monster was him.

And perhaps there was some truth to it. Perhaps it was in his nature. It would make sense. For what else could he possibly turn out to be, having a monster for a mother?

But enough of that. He wasn’t going to argue the point today. Nor ever again. Honestly, what good had appealing to his mother’s loving kindness done him so far? She probably didn’t even possess any.

An impatient jerk of her chin towards the open door told him all he needed to know.

Yeah, fuck this. Diplomacy could officially go screw itself!

Sighing deeply, he lowered his eyes, let his shoulders droop and obediently entered the church, for what he’d make sure would be his last Sunday service.

Tonight, he’d take matters into his own hands.

Tonight, he’d burn this godforsaken place down.

Tonight, he’d become the monster they insisted he was.

Come dawn, he’d finally be free. Reborn again a higher being, rising, a phoenix from the ashes of what had been his personal hell in a life he’d leave behind tomorrow.

Things were about to change drastically.

A new day.

A new week.

A new life.

Yet one thing would always remain the same.

Sam loved Mondays.

More Posts from Akawrites000 and Others

3 years ago

🍭

Thank you, that's so kind^^ 🌸 for you :)

3 years ago

I think this is a really nice initiative 😊

Announcing Kokobot’s official partnership with Tumblr!

@kokobot is a nonprofit on a mission to bring everyone well-being services that are free, anonymous, and available 24/7.

Offering kind words of support from other Tumblr users just like you, thousands of people use Kokobot to find and share the bright side to life, with over 1 million thank you notes shared on Kokobot so far (try it yourself).

Today, we’re excited to announce our official partnership with Tumblr.

Starting today, you’ll start to see Kokobot appearing more widely on Tumblr services as we look to broaden our impact.

To get started, just message Kokobot and we’ll connect you to resources and other users. See you around! 


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4 years ago

So I opened my Tumblr app around a minute ago because I realized I didn't look at it at all today and I found like 44 notifications?! (Sorry, seeing a lot of notifications scares me because idk what to expect lol) but as usual I find more sweet people liking what I wrote and it makes my heart warm. So, a HUGE THANK YOU-

To @a-very-huggable-platypus and @friiday-thirteenth for popping up in my notifs will all the love <3

Also a *hug* for you @a-very-huggable-platypus and a *high five* for you @friiday-thirteenth

(*Sweats* because my mind immediately starts overthinking if this is acceptable for a first convo 😂)

Anyways, hope you all are having a good day/night!!


Tags
4 years ago

akaefjgddooi

Okay, I made some word that I cannot read😂😂😂 This was still fun though, thank you @sunflower1000

Lemme tag @kaiwewi @villain-enthusiast-personal @friiday-thirteenth @the-tsar-unanswerable @emerqlds

i’m starting a game

Type your username with your eyes closed and tag 4 people

I’ll go first:

iparis-is-parjs

@warcrossheadcanons @tracywarcross @txal-sharky @that-one-goddy-trot

1 year ago

@rafedane I completely agree with your observations here! The story seems to be from vanthi's pov and in this life (my brain is just assuming this to be a reincarnation au) vanthi for some reason has his memories from his previous life (as soon as they made contact I guess?). but we don't know arulmozhi's perspective yet so maybe he's regained his memories during that contact as well, but maybe even in this life, he had to uphold some sort of an image for society? (the possibilities, are as you say, endless) them as soulmates is just 🥺❤️

colours of the shadows

june 8: remember me for centuries

i knew, the second he held my arm for the first time. the second his skin touched mine. once it sunk in, i almost laughed out loud right there in front of him. i could hear my sister's mocking voice in my head, "you hopeless homosexual, of course this would happen to you!"

he's not mine. but he used to be. years and years ago, centuries even. he saved my life once.

and i remember it clear as day.

he was the son of the emperor, famed and feared all across the land, respected and revered even by the people he set out to conquer. arms strong from wielding his weapons, hands rough from holding his horse's reins. but so gentle when he needed to be. i can almost feel the brush of his fingertips across my cheek. 

my sister snaps in front of my face. asks me what i'm daydreaming about. i shake my head. i don't answer. 

and who was i? the son of a disgraced general, made to fight in the army as part of my reparations to the royal family, and to shadow the prince as his guard; though i'm sure when they assigned me, they didn't think things through. they must have been prepared to kill me in the event that i betrayed the empire. 

how could they have known their greatest enemy would be love?

but he was mine. his soft eyes and rare smile, the spot on the back of his neck that was so, so sensitive. they were mine. the confusion and terror on his face that night as he realized i couldn't swim. the relief, the desperation in his lips against mine after he dragged me ashore. all mine. 

and here he stands today, a face so similar, so different. so close, and so far. i have a hundred reasons to love him, and one reason i can't. he loves someone else now. a woman. 

who would believe me, anyway?

— and so the empire fell to the lovers' fate

-

inspired by the arulmozhi x vanthiyadevan posts on tumblr.

'pride 2023: colours of the shadows' pinned.

3 years ago

Tis the 19th again…

🍭

Yes it is, am I missing something here? 🤔🌸

2 years ago

Heyhey Var! I wish you a very happy birthday! ❤ *throws confetti* (I hope I got the date right!)

I hope you're doing well and that you will have or have had a nice day!! ^.^

Dear Lara!! Thank you so much for your wishes <333 I'm doing well thank you, I hope you're doing well too! It's been ages (I'm so sorry for this terribly late reply) , I just got done with my course so have been trying to get used to new routines.

4 years ago

I loved your Nero/avilio story oh my goodness

Thank you so much!!! It really means a lot^^ They're such great characters really, and 91 days is an anime that I can never forget haha. Glad you enjoyed it <3


Tags
4 years ago

Thank you for the tag @great-day-today

Throw the weight up on my shoulders

From Wasted Nights- OOR.

Tagging: @sunflower1000 @amethysts-sideblog @nightfrostshadow @creweemmaeec11

rules: your last words before you die are the 3rd line of the last song you listened to. what are you saying? 

This got lost in my notifs, but thank you for tagging me darling @walt-breslin. Morbid and fun. I like it.

As the misty morning rolls away to die

Tagging: @ezrasarm @themarcusmoreno @starryeyedstories @karasong @keeper0fthestars

4 years ago

Villain had never seen Hero look so crestfallen before, and if their chest already didn't hurt from running like a mad person and jumping over rooftops to get to Hero, it definitely did hurt now. It hurt like hell.

Villain wanted to say something, anything, and if only Hero looked up at their face instead of staring at the cold stone floor, they would have seen how desperate Villain was to make them believe that they meant it... that they meant every word when they said that they would help Hero.

"Hero... I, I really did mean it when I said that I'd come."

Hero finally looked up at them, just as Villain had wished, but all Villain was shown were soulless eyes and lips in a thin line. Be careful what you wish for ran around in a loop inside Villain's head.

"Then why?" Hero asked and Villain could hear the unsaid words hanging heavily in the air.

Then why didn't you come?

The truth was, Villain was being obstructed by Supervillain's henchmen and fighting all of them off alone proved to be a difficult task. If this was just a normal fight, Villain wouldn't have minded getting themselves hurt, but no, there was nothing normal about this, they had a far more important job to do (to protect the Hero), so they had to be in top shape .

Villain sighed, their mind having figured out whom they had to protect the Hero from. Villain was scared, and maybe more hopeless about this situation than Hero was currently, but no one had to know that.

Protecting hero was much more important than their own fear of the Supervillain.

They offered Hero a hand, eyes soft.

"Come on Hero, get up. I'm here now, and I'm planning to keep my promise."

I'll definitely keep it this time .

prompt #108

“I kept waiting for you, Villain, and you never came,” Hero whispered, head down.  “But, it’s too late,” Hero laughed to themselves, feeling their heart begin to race.  “I’m as good as dead now,”


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akawrites000 - my words and me
my words and me

She/her / thank you for dropping by and I hope you have a lovely time here! / I also write fanfics on AO3 - Akane000 / requests, messages, credits and tags are very welcome! / please do not repost, thanks :) [cover img credits: sasmilledge@twitter]

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