Afallenvenusian - A Fallen Venusian

"Everyone is a Ferrari fan."

May 11, 2025

The Self is just a story your mind tells you. At any moment you can decide to tell a new one

May 4, 2025

Daily writing is back. One: I can feel the gray clouds of void (shouts to The Thunderbolts*) rolling over the horizon which means your girl needs habits. Daily assignments that get me moving when my mind tells my body to retreat. Two: this also helps with cultivating gratitude because when I don't know what to write, "What are you grateful for?" is a solid prompt. Three: actively working with Human Design means doubling-down on what I love to align with my Strategy. Even when I don't know what to say, my body lights up over a keyboard with an empty screen. Authority doesn't get more sacral than that.

So, here I am. May the Fourth be with me or whatever.

I knew something was off yesterday when a friend canceling our plans to hang out at the art museum (mere hours before we were scheduled to meet up) sent me on a spiral. I was already planning my outfit. I was looking forward to catching up, seeing where she is in life, and if I'm honest, performing my personality a bit. I have Leo Rising with a Sun in the 3H – conversation is my stage du jour. Being robbed of the spotlight for an afternoon not only had me ready to rage but activated a "Hey. What if your perfect Solo lifestyle isn't so perfect after all? You wouldn't cling to plans to get attention if you didn't live alone" thought whirlpool. I won't tell you who that voice in my head sounds like because he is a politician, but let's just say he may or may not have had a dalliance with a couch.

Thankfully, The Thunderbolts* was showing at my neighborhood movie theater at the same time I would have gone to the museum. So I had something to get up and get dressed for. The movie not only hit (good for Marvel), but hit a little too hard. Then, my mother texting "Well, that sucked," in reaction to Miami Grand Prix Qualifying put a literal pit in my stomach on the drive home. And I had to concede that the Sunken Place was, indeed, calling because no way should a man I've never met driving too slow around a race track trigger that kind of physical reaction.

The outlook isn't great. Not alarming. But definitely giving "Meh. What's the point?"

I know from experience. There is no point. You put one foot in front of the other until a point finds you.

Step one: daily writing.

Mars is back in my 1H.

I can't stay inside.