DARREN CRISS - That Can't Be True | First Asian Actor To Win Leading Actor In A Musical | The 78th Annual

OHOHOHO >:3c let me dive into the Pirate Spaus AU for you dear @fafayayarhen

So this Pirate AU is in a low fantasy world setting. So our world with fantastical elements. This is important to note because it does impact their story later on.

But in my Pirate AU, Roderich and Antonio married when they were young (about 18). They have a complicated history that started in a stranger than expected manner for everyone around them.

Antonio is trans but at the time of his relationship with Roderich, he did not have the words to verbalize what he was feeling. So he presented and lived as a woman for all of his life and their marriage.

The two met at a party that Antonio's family was hosting. They had their own reputations already at that point. Roderich is known to be a prissy, uptight, unpleasant man who, despite being a wealthy and available bachelor, has not married because he is seen as insufferable by all of the women around him. Believe me, they have tried to get his attention, but he is always either offending them or turning them away without so much as a second thought. Meanwhile, Antonio was known as a shrew that was incapable of ever being desirable to any man in Spain or maybe even all of Europe. He is strong-willed, ambitious, crass, and loves to get into arguments with men. He can be very sweet to his friends and family, but he does not give most men the chance to see that side of him off the bat. Roderich is no exception to this. Roderich insults him the moment that they meet and Antonio being a very proud and strong-willed "woman", tells him off. He expects it to end as all his interactions with men seem to end and for Roderich to tell everyone he is an impossible woman who no man could be paid graciously enough to marry.

But Roderich falls for him. He sees such fire and ambition in his character that he actually finds beautiful. He finds Antonio's passion to be uplifting and his demeanor to be fascinating. So he starts writing to Antonio, begging for a moment of his time just so that he may have the chance to apologize and be around him again. So they end up meeting again and Roderich doesn't insult Antonio, but he certainly makes a fool of himself trying to hold a conversation with him because the man has never felt attraction towards a woman before. This is new to him. So he writes again, asking Antonio for another chance. Antonio, mainly amused at this point, allows it. And this continues for a little bit.

Roderich is normally so well kept together and composed, but around Antonio he forgets himself. And Antonio goes from taking amusement in it, to actually feeling endeared towards him. He's never had someone genuinely show affection towards him like this and in his heart of hearts, he is a romantic. He dreams of being swept off his feet and loved. He just doesn't want to be reduced to being a wife for the rest of his life. But Roderich doesn't make him feel that way. And Antonio makes Roderich feel alive. He has such a way of charisma if you talk to him like he is human. He laughs and he loves to play music too. He has his own sense of humor and he is affectionate and is so peaceful to be around actually.

Roderich is enamored and he even sneaks Antonio out to see the seaside with him because he knows Antonio loves the sea more than anything else in the world. And it’s that meeting that solidifies for Antonio that he loves this man and that he cannot understand how others do not see the person he really is. He sees Roderich and he sees someone who makes him laugh, who listens to him, who respects himself as well and carries himself with an energy that he absolutely adores. The two of them see in each other what nobody else does and they end up falling so deeply in love as a result

They end up marrying which shocks everyone even more than them courting. Because how did the worst possible people on Earth find love in each other?

And it is a really happy marriage full of love and respect. It really is. But Antonio starts to realize

He is not a woman.

He does not want to be a wife.

He loves Roderich more than there are stars in the sky. He has never met someone who he has been able to bond with the way they bonded with each other before. But the idea of being known as and dying as a man’s wife kills him and he can feel a part of himself dying every day after this realization. He doesn’t know what to do because Roderich is the love of his life and he cannot bear the thought of telling his husband he is a man and seeing the love he harbors for him die.

So foolishly, the night before they are to sail to the Caribbean to start Roderich’s music career, Antonio leaves. He doesn’t say goodbye. Doesn’t leave a note or explanation. He just takes a few things and leaves.

Roderich is heartbroken. He is devastated. And now he is known as the man so terrible that even his own wife left him. And despite how angry he is, how much hurt he feels, and how confused he is as to why Antonio left, he keeps wearing his wedding ring and tries to move on with his life.

He ends up remarrying Erzsebet out of convenience and the two of them are friends more than anything. Roderich even confesses to her that he thinks Antonio is the only woman he ever could and would love because he prefers the company of men. The two of them have a respectful marriage but there isn’t any romantic love and Roderich never does properly move on from losing Antonio.

Antonio meanwhile has now transed his gender and is a whole ass pirate. And a very notorious one at that. He is greatly feared and has built a reputation and life for himself that he is quite proud of.

But he never stops loving Roderich.

He wears his wedding ring around his neck and he has his favorite letters from Roderich stored away. The only regret this man has about the life he chose is that he had to give up one with Roderich for it.

He is in competition with Arthur mainly but he also ends up competing against Fionn (Ireland). As of the current day in the RP setting (1685), the three of them are after a fantastical element I made up for the story called The Four Pillars. Which essentially are these locations around the Caribbean where the deities and important figures of the indigenous people there gather. It is said that the man who is able to locate one will be granted one wish from any of the deities/figures. This was well hidden by the indigenous people obvs. They dont want sacred spots touched by these Europeans 😭 And they plan to kill any European that tries because FUCK that noise (dw the Europeans never get to them <3)

But Arthur lands his hands on a clue to one of them and tries to bribe Antonio and Fionn into a truce into finding them for themselves. The group cannot agree to anything and split and so starts their race to the pillars. The first clue leads them to Cuba. And Antonio arrives before the others and being prideful and sure he has nothing to worry about, he decides to explore Havana.

What he isn’t expecting is to find out Roderich is performing in Havana. And the two of them end up slamming into each other when Antonio is trying to race back to his ship. Antonio recognizes Roderich immediately and freezes but Roderich takes a minute to register who he is looking at. But once he does he gets shot back to when they first met and how awkward he was and his struggle to talk to him properly. He tries to chase after him but doesn’t manage to keep up. Antonio gets back to his ship and is like “Okay…so funny story. I used to be married. And my ex husband is over there. And we still have one more job left to do in Havana. Which involves sneaking into the music hall he is performing at”

Antonio gets back to his ship and his crew is like okay we need to get to that music hall so you're just gonna have to cope and figure out how to not be around your ex.

So they decide to go in disguise and find out it’s actually a ball. And sneak around. And it’s going just fine and Antonio is certain he can make it through the job without seeing Roderich. But then he hears him play And Roderich is playing a piece he composed just for Antonio. And that man cannot help but walk into where is he is playing. He is entranced. Roderich finishes the piece and the two of them lock eyes. And despite his crew yelling at him to leave, he can’t help but walk towards him. Roderich is shoving people aside to get close to him. No matter how well Antonio disguises himself, he knows it's him. He will always know it's him.

The two of them meet and everyone is so confused as to why the featured musician stopped playing. But everyone else with him tries to carry on while others figure out wtf Roderich is doing with this man. They have this dance and at first there are no words but then they finally talk and there’s this tenderness and this obviousness that they haven’t let the other go. I actually wrote a little thing for it that had me staring at the wall like “damn…” (I'll attach it below)

But Antonio ends up stretching their time there and cutting it real close just so that he can spend more time with Roderich. Because that’s his husband. Because that’s the man he has loved for years. Because that is the only person who has ever truly understood him. But neither one believes the other is still really in love with them.

So when they sleep together initially, both think it is their only chance at this. And of course Antonio spoils Roderich rotten in bed. That man is a service top and I take no criticisms. But after it Roderich says “I missed this” without thinking and panics thinking he’s fucked everything up. But they end up talking and make it clear that they are still madly in love with the other and always have been.

The problem now though is…they have completely different lives. Antonio loves the sea and his life as a pirate and Roderich loves playing his music. And neither wants to ask the other to give up their life. But they just can’t bear the thought of losing the other again. They lost each other for ten years and they don’t want that again.

:) More to come.

Anyway here's the extra writing of the ball scene

----

They’re dancing. Antonio is groomed and neat and he is in disguise. But Roderich recognizes him. He always does. So here they are now in a grand ballroom with people whispering because Roderich has always been known as the man so unbearable to be around that his own wife left him. But they see him now with a man and Lord has he always preferred the company of men? Is that what this is?

Their hands are pressed together. Roderich notes that Antonio’s are rougher than they used to be. They have seen things he will never comprehend. They have known battles and strife he could have never imagined for anyone, let alone Antonio. But they are rough and they are scarred and oddly enough it makes his heart beat just a little bit faster.

Antonio notices how nervous he looks and thinks back to the day they first met where Roderich, prissy and posh, was so rude he insulted him. Only to turn around and awkwardly, nervously, endearingly admit his affections to him.

He is a new man, not the husband he married. But he lives in him still. He is still a man who loses his senses when they are together. They are quiet, not saying a word, just taking in the other and this moment that they might never get again. Antonio is a pirate now and Roderich travels to play music. They chose their paths long ago.

“I am not the woman you married, y’know. She died the day I left. I have taken her corpse and transformed it into me.” Antonio finally says, ready to turn away and forget that he ever came here to see him.

“I know,” Roderich says, reaching forward to stroke his cheek as he had done a million times before. He stops their dance and he sees the confusion on Antonio’s face. A flicker of hurt. But he watches as those vivid green eyes widen when he kneels before him as he had kneeled before him when he married him. As he had when they argued, or when he was entranced, or whenever he found it necessary to remind Antonio that he loved him. He watched as Antonio’s mouth parted with the feeling of Roderich’s lips on his hand and the sight of him looking up as if he were the promised land,

“You are much more handsome.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAUL MCCARTNEY!!!!!

forever a pretty boy this guy, even at 83

i hope hes enjoying his birthday knowing hes loved by all especially today!!!!!!!!

wherever the image quality goes on my images when I post them, I hope it's happy Here’s a lil FrUK gift for our collectively haggard spirits. I hope everyone is rebelling and making art and loving and sticking up for the things worth sticking up for aaaand being a lil gay (>ᴗ•)✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧ And a spotify playlist because I love you ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"why do you like fruk so much?"

how can you claim to hate someone and still spend so much time with them. you can't bring yourself to fully push them away, and as much as they get under your skin you let them fester there. there is so much history between you, and you know them better than you know yourself. also why do you spend every holiday together when you could be with anyone else? someone kinder? you will stab them in the back and treat the wound afterward. you will choke them and they will take your breath away. you have been in love for so many years you are blind to the feeling.

GOOOO SUPPORT THEIR WORK MCLENNON TUMBLR ITS ONE OF THE BEST FICS OUT THERE RN ITS SO GOOD AND STILL GOING PLEASE EAT IT UP

Fanfiction Notice!

Hi Beatles Tumblr! I'm completely new on here, but I've been writing an (extremely slow burn) Mclennon fic on AO3 and wanted to advertise it on here and see what happens. I adore feedback, and would love to become more immersed in this online space. Love you all <3

happy valentines day!! 😘💝

never fly away little robot♫

BABE WAKE UP FALSETTOS REUNION JUST DROPPED

(credits for lyssfully on tt! <3)

Cw: Suicidal intent/thoughts

There is a underlying sadness to Christian that seemingly goes unnoticed, both by his friends and the fans themselves. This is much more prevalent in the musical as it comes to a head with him nearly taking his own life on stage. Interestingly enough this was built up to throughout the show and not “just over a girl” though she plays a part in it. Christian is actually quite a sad figure when you look deeper into his character besides love sick American.

He expressly states from the beginning arriving in Montmartre he came to find

“Where I could belong. Where my heart could be free. To be a child of the revolution! To be artist…to fall in love. To loose myself in the dazzling chaos of Montmartre. Everything I wanted to be etc”

He gives such a wistful monologue about this being the place he had dreamed of for so long. He knows exactly what the Denison’s are, what they do and stand for and he’s been longing for it. Christian is also aware the bohemian life is one not made to last- they burn passionately but are put out quickly. They die young. Be that by their own hand, addiction, murder, disease etc. He knows all of this and it’s what he wants. (My heroes have the heart etc. This is much later but much more direct and about artistic suicide).

Christian is a sensitive boy. We don’t know much about his life before arriving in Paris but what we do know is he studied music in school and that his father is a absolutely horrible man. One who he probably had to fight to even learn music, one who would do anything to beat the sweet and sensitive Christian into a “Real man”. From this we can probably gage his family is well off, upper-middle, enough to send him to boarding school or university. He views paris as a escape from his “Suffocating life in America” he wants to be wild and free and himself like all of his heroes— this is where he can truly live! Poverty or not.

When he meets satine he falls in love for the first time, in his narration he even admits to being irrational. She is everything to him. She’s his first real experience with human connection on a romantic level and I can suspect she knows far more about him than even Toulouse and Santiago. Satine is far more than his lover, she’s his everything- as cheesy as it sounds. Loving her makes life worth living. In come what may he quite literally states “suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste”. He’s not as naturally optimistic as everyone around him thinks- her love and the dazzle of the new world around him is what’s making him so, he’s riding that high. When he crashes? It’s hard. “Why else suffer through this life, if not for love?”

And yet, they all view him as a hopeful boy with his whole life ahead of him as if he hadn’t arrived in Paris to throw it away. To bury himself in a fast , passionate but short life of art and feeling. He’s here for a second chance, to give meaning to his life— he wouldn’t leave it behind this place is why he’s so happy and alive! Toulouse and Satine think he’s trapped here, think they drag him down etc while ignoring its expressly what he wants…this is what dooms them all. By trying to protect him, lie to him, “give him a chance” he’s getting hurt far more.

“Who came to Paris to find himself and instead found all of this. A place to belong, people to love, and a woman. A woman who showed him all that truly matters in life.”

Christian would rather live incredibly poor and with a moderate writing success that rich and unable to fully express himself. Something I love about johns performance is that during Roxanne “Feelings I canttttt hide!” He hits himself in the head- he’s both incredibly drunk but also tearing himself apart because he can’t hide how he feels even for a little bit and that always ends poorly. Even here- even a place so wild and open he messed things up, while he’s a very springy and optimistic character at times. I’m tired of this nuance and underlying sadness going ignored.

airing my thoughts