I Don't Want To Be Perfect

It's so intimidating to see myself in a mirror because I see me and then this another person who is not me. A person who is just an amalgamation of my mother, my father and my grandparents. A person who is not one but many. And it is so amazing and frightening at the same time. The fact that like every other thing, like every other incident, and person, you also hold the potential to be beautiful and scary not only to others but to your own self too.

It's so easy to forgive what someone said to you but it's so difficult to forgive what they say about the people you love the most...

So make sure you don't say anything wrong about someone in front of their loved ones because they might eventually forgive but they would never ever forget.

Winners don't have such remorse

Do you ever wake up with the feeling that a lot is lost

It's summer but you still feel the frost

Everything and everyone is around

But you still can't listen a sound

It's not your life but a trap

You are actually a piece of crap

Your to do list is overflowing

Your courage to start something is slowly going

It's not like you have to start afresh

But where you are standing now, seems nothing more than a mess

Your ambitions are enthusiastically parading

Even though all your motivation is fading

You are somehow willing to leave

But just too scared to believe

Supporting hands seems to tease

Ah! hope you knew, who you want to please

Feel like you have an empty soul

You are too tired to feel not only this but all

You want to speak

Although you are scared that your secret of being a coward might leak

You are not a loser, ofcourse

But you also know that a winner doesn't have such remorse

One sided friendship

I have heard a lot of people explain one sided love

But never heard anyone even talk about one sided friendship

Did you?

Honestly speaking I have been on both ends

I remember ignoring people even when they were ready to loose all for me

I remember being ignored even when I was ready to loose all of me

Did you?

Still think about going back and joining those chords

But what are the odds

Those I ignored have moved on tired of wasting their time

And those on whom I wasted my time never seemed mine

But still I wish for their call

Do you?

I find it weird how we just connect to some

I find it sad when those connections don't care and for them you are not the one

I thought love asked for a lot

but now I think even friendship's demands are not a dot

Do you?

Maybe they asked for so much that I just stayed aloof

Maybe my demands were so much that they considered me fool

Being nice and being friends are different I realised late

Not everyone you like is ready to be a part of your fate

Were you also a one sided friend at one time?

Do you also think that it was worth the time?

What if the efforts were not equal,

It was a friendship you initiated and it will never have a sequel...

So you left me

I realised late

Ah! That was always my fate

I know I ignored you first

But what you did was worst

Back home, Connell’s shyness never seemed like much of an obstacle to his social life, because everyone knew who he was already, and there was never any need to introduce himself or create impressions about his personality. If anything, his personality seemed like something external to himself, managed by the opinions of others, rather than anything he individually did or produced. Now he has a sense of invisibility, nothingness, with no reputation to recommend him to anyone.

- Normal people by Sally Rooney

Feeling anxious because something reminded me that I am not special & irreplaceable for the people who are special & irreplaceable to me.

Didn't say goodbye?? Why??

Life is a journey indeed but why are we supposed to keep on moving and moving. Journey is about enjoying, feeling and then moving, taking stops when you need to, being able to get tired, being able to feel refreshed, being able to make connections, and most importantly being able to say goodbye to one stop and then move on to the next.

But I guess in the journey of life neither have I received enough goodbyes to forget people, nor I have got enough time to say goodbyes to enough people. I hate when people ABSQUATULATE. I hate when I ABSQUATULATE. But is it anyone's fault?

Life is running so fast that we are always afraid of missing on something in future, even if we are missing on our present for it. Our ambitions make us run from people we love, we leave without saying goodbye because we don't realise we are leaving, we think we are around but by the time we look back, we have actually reached miles and miles away. Away from the people we thought we will never leave.

We think that the person who is now miles away might have moved that distance on his own, maybe you were still at the same place but the other one has drifted apart. But no one knows for sure because you didn't say goodbye first and neither did the other person. So now you don't know how to ask if it was you that moved faraway or if it was them.

You are tired now you want to sit and think but life is still moving, you are still afraid of missing things if you stop. You again absquatulate and move on. And the cycle continues...

No matter how early you read the poem 'The Road Not Taken' by Robert Frost, you are going to understand it completely only in your 20s.

I tell everyone that I write when I am sad but actually I write when I am 'the perfect amount of sad' like a little bit of extra sadness makes what I write sound weird and a little less can just shut my brain.

P.S. I don't know what that 'perfect amount of sad' is... Haha