Make Sure You Say "I Wonder What They're Doing Right Now..." About Your Comic Relief Friends Every Now

women & bitches love my cavern

hey what’s up guys i’m still trapped in this abandoned grain silo

Thots on the Pope

So the pope has thots now

[strained of voice and world-weary] woo-hoo!

hey so haha fun fact but. did you know that i'm not ready for this to end I'm not ready for you to leave I'm not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again

brain: slartibartfast

me: huh?

brain: that was a dude from Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, remember?

me: yeah, what about it?

brain: yeah

let’s do something unethical together, just the two of us. for fun.

manhandling is so fun like sure u can put me over there i don’t mind

[trying to insult a person's dog-like devotion to someone but not wanting to make them sound too cool about it] keep your fucking dog in a purse