Sometimes I wonder if people even realize how cruel they can be without saying a word. The way they look at me—cold, dismissive, like I’m something to laugh at or pity. It’s not always about what they say; sometimes it’s just the way they carry themselves around me, like I’m less. I feel overlooked all the time, like I’m just floating in the background, waiting for someone to actually see me. And I hate how much I want to be seen, especially by him. I hate how I catch myself hoping for even a glance from him. It makes me feel pathetic, like I’m betraying myself just to feel worthy for a moment. These past few days, I’ve been so angry. Just simmering beneath the surface. I keep snapping in my head, getting irritated at everything. I’m starting to feel like the angry little girl I worked so hard to bury, the one who, for years, carried the weight of her father’s rage. I hate how deeply I feel things, how sensitive I am. Lately, I’ve been drowning. Not in a river, but under the weight of never feeling satisfied with life.
—A lady and Her Quill, Letters to Dead Children: Ophelia's Journal Entries
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The most significant discoveries and best moments of my life have often happened by chance, contrary to popular belief. Whenever I look back, I struggle to pinpoint the exact moment they occurred. These experiences, in some way, altered the course of my life, yet I can’t quite remember how they unfolded. I never actively sought them out; they just simply found me.I’m talking about moments like how I got into reading, how I discovered my love for writing, my first relationship, my current friendship, the experiences that broadened my perspective, and the moments that defined my beliefs.
—A lady and her quill, Journal of wandering thoughts.
𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑛𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡 𝑖𝑠 𝑑𝑎𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑟𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒, 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑛𝑑𝑠 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑑𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑤; 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑎 𝑡𝑦𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑠𝑝𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝘩𝑎𝑠 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑚𝑒, 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡, 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜. 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑔𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑡𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑇𝘩𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑏𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑏𝑜𝑢𝑔𝘩𝑠 𝑤𝑒𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑖𝑡𝘩 𝑠𝑛𝑜𝑤; 𝑇𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑟𝑚 𝑖𝑠 𝑓𝑎𝑠𝑡 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑐𝑒𝑛𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑒𝑡 𝐼 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜. 𝐶𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑐𝑙𝑜𝑢𝑑𝑠 𝑎𝑏𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒, 𝑊𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑦𝑜𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑜𝑤; 𝐵𝑢𝑡 𝑛𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑐𝑎𝑛 𝑚𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒: 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑛𝑜𝑡, 𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑔𝑜.
—Emily Jane Brontë, The Night
If I cannot love you openly like I wish, if I cannot hold your hand when walking Or wrap you in my arms late at night. Then I will love you silently, in my mind and behind closed eyes For there, there is no rejection or heartbreak. And surely it is better to love silently than to not love at all?
—unknown
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The city was silently bloating in the hot sun, rotting like the thousands of bodies that lay where they had fallen in street battles. An oppressive, hot wind blew from the southeast, carrying with it the putrefying stench of decay. And outside the city walls, Death itself waited— in the persons of Titus, son of Vespasian, and sixty thousand legionnaires, who were anxious to gut the City of God.
—Francine Rivers, A Voice in the Wind (Mark of the Lion series).
“In my restless dreams, I see that town. Silent Hill. You promised me you'd take me there again someday. But because of me, you were never able to. Well, I'm alone there now… In our “special place.” Waiting for you…" Waiting for you to come to see me. But you never do. And so I wait, wrapped in my cocoon of pain and loneliness. I know I've done a terrible thing to you. Something you'll never forgive me for. I wish I could change that, but I can't. I feel so pathetic and ugly lying here, waiting for you...
"I love you. You may as well take my heart Catherine it's already full of you." "Please go!" "What is it? What's wrong my dear?" "You know nothing about me….you've known me only three weeks!" "Three weeks? Catherine I've known you all my life." "All your life?" "It's true, when I heard beautiful music I thought, 'she'd like that'. I looked at flowers knowing that one day I'd give them to you." "Oh stop, stop." "But for my heart there is another love that must come before you, my country."
—Masquerade,
Dangerously Yours
—Joan of Arc
—Donna Tartt, The Secret History