A-fools-whim - Well, What Now?

Vixen

Mommy's lil girl

Sometimes I feel like I'm not being authentic in how I present myself online.

Like I'll try to look at my profile from a different perspective and it never seems like the real me fr fr.

I be thinking "Wow, I seem so friendly and upbeat! If only that were the truth haha!"

Cuz in my mind, I'm not that friendly and open. I'm the total opposite. Reserved, closed off, and very low energy.

But then I think hey wait a minute, I can be pretty friendly and upbeat-- when I feel like it.

My social battery gets drained fast and it takes a long ass time to recharge. I am NOT a consistently social person. I need many breaks and some time to myself, yk?

I'm no social butterfly, I'm more like an asocial moth.

Me, as a procrastinator: Eh I'll just do it later, I have enough time anyways.

Also me, as a perfectionist: But if I'm gonna do it, I expect great results the first time I do it.

ME, LATER BUT IN ABSOLUTE DESPAIR: Got the task done super late but at least it was done somewhat well

Sometimes I don't wanna be no thoughts, head empty. Sometimes I wanna be many thoughts, head full. 😔

I don't ever want to feel like my alter ego is just someone I can never become. Like an idealized version of me.

Like a costume fit to be worn only onstage but can never be embodied outside of the theatre. A one time showing under the right conditions. A character that'll never make it off screen.

I don't like to confine myself to those kinds of lines and boxes.

The fact that she exists means that I am capable of being this person, you know? That means I was able to bridge the gap between us and become one.

It may be difficult but it's never impossible.

I was today years old when I realized that my taste in anime men reflected parts of my own damn personality

The only thing I have the most knowledge in at this moment is MYSELF.

Tbh I still don't know too much about that either but it's all I got, man.

Ain't much, but it's all I got.

Made it!