🌛🌳🐑🐭🔥🐟

their mission isnt the only thing off the books here

I think that there's a lot of monsterfucker content that entirely ignores potential incompatibility in anatomy or tries to explain it, and while that's all well and good, I think there should be more love given to the realistic experience you'd likely have a lot as a monsterfucker in a world with monsters: physical attributes that are so disanalogous that it makes certain sex acts impossible without one or both partners being harmed.

It might seem harsh at first, but I think there's a lot of potential there. Not in the threat of harm itself, but in the methods of working around it.

Think about it:

A massive monster whose cock is too big for penetrative sex to be even a remote possibility. Try as you might, you can't even squeeze the head in. That's fine, though; they get extremely good at pleasuring you with their mouth, and you've found that with a creative mix licking their shaft and a well-placed vibrator, you can get them cumming so hard they'll forget they even cared about penetration in the first place.

A werewolf who can't top, not without instinctually clamping down on your shoulder with teeth long enough to reach bone, anyways. They'd never want to cause you harm, but you just aren't as sturdy as a werewolf bottoming would be, and you'd feel so good they know they couldn't help themself. It's hard to navigate, at first, but eventually, you learn that they make such an amazing bottom. It's so easy to get them collared, furry face pressed down against the bed as they claw desperately into the mattress, begging for your knot, even if you can't actually knot them (even better if you can, though).

A partner who is an eldritch monster. You can't even touch their physical matter, let alone fucker them. They certainly still have their fun with you, though. They mindfuck you; they seem to know the exact parts of your brain to stimulate to get you to feel like you're orgasming ten times over. Maybe even hypnosis stuff, if that's what you're into. And when they're done, they reach into your brain to comfort you, to make you feel all warm and held and to gently drift off to sleep. Even if they can't actually hold you.

Might add more to this later, definitely an idea I could expand upon more these were just my first examples.

I think about this every day. I am not ok

Found my doppelganger, they have good taste.

Let me have my HUSBANDS

random but mildly annoyed at how you can't romance both Astarion / Gale at once without modding the game- as a gay dude who's certain he's not monogamous I want my triad polyship pLEASE

ughngnhn Gale x Astarion is *chefs kiss* So lemme HAVE TYHEM BOTH

KAHSKHFKHGG

I AM GREEDY I KNOW BUT big SOFT WIZARD MAN AND ROGUE ELF ARE CURRENTLY LIVING RENT FREE IN MY HEAD OKAY

i'm too gay for this shit- and too anfyrgy ANGYR

ANGRY

I like the other men too, but Gale and Astarion are frigging perfect like how can you CHOOSE??? QHY YOU FORCE ME TO CHOOSE

I thought I could but now-

Astarion: This is my Consort *holds Loki by the hip* And his boyfriend *points to Gale holding Loki's hand* Loki: Our boyfriend. Gale: I'm having a good time :) *Grabs Astarion's hand* Astarion: :D

Its almost 1 AM I am going to bed- or try. I need my wholesome content tho- UAGHH

i dont think i totally headcanon dmab mabel but i still think it’s a really cute idea ;v;

I love the fanart that these goobers have.

a trio of beastiesss

narinder being an absolute wet paper bag emotionally is so silly to me- he spends so much time being like i am feeling an emotion and i do not know what it is so it must be a bad one

based off this

Tumblr

LANCE *trips u with my wide sweep*

crunching the numbers

gay little sphinx asks you some riddles and then he says he'd rather be at the club so he leaves you hanging