Average Early Spideytorch Interaction

NEW CHAPTER

Hi!!! I just posted a new chapter of my spider-man AU MCU+marvel 616, spideytorch, team red, anti iron dad fic!!! It contains some shenanigans with May, Wade and Matt. Some MJ (Michelle) and Pete starting their friendship and some group chat shenanigans!! Any questions I'll be glad to answer!!

I actually hate writting dialogue... So sorry guys but that's something this fic will sadly lack...

Unhinged analysis

Why is Sanemi so aggro? (Part 2)

This section is mostly from a class/economic standpoint and doesn't really focus on the demon attack on his family. It is also not only based on my little understanding based on the research I did about poverty and class in Edo/Late Meiji Japan but also based on my experiences as someone who grew up poverty-er-adjacent.

This blog here has an article that does a deep dive into Sanemi based on Japanese culture and history. Their work was what inspired me to do a deeper dive into Sanemi's poor backgoround. It's in Japanese but the translations are so worth it, and they have writeups on other characters!

Now lets get to it, this is post is going to be very long and very sappy, be warned.

His Background

We all know that Sanemi grew up poor, but it's poor in a way that's different from the other characters. We can attribute Gyomei's poverty to his religious faith in a way, Tanjiro and Muichiro are more modest than actually poor - at least they own their houses. The Shinazugawas had a shitty landlord whose son made fun of them for being 'the poor people with too many kids', they lived in these rundown, face-to-face, the-neighbors-know-all-your-business row houses.

Sanemi grew up in the slums with a population of citizens who were essentially 'left behind' during the rise of urbanization and industrialization. These citizens not only had to deal with characterizations that portray them as being ignorant, uneducated, boorish, dirty, aggressive, mannerless and ignorant, but also with being preyed upon by greedy landlords, merchants and businessmen. The government weren't of much help either because they would rather put in efforts into removing them as far as possible from the modern cities, away from the eyes of foreigners.

In my experience, slum dwellers rarely if ever rise above their station in life. Their lack of education and exposure prevents them from making a better life for themselves and even if they do move to the city, they are stuck doing menial or manual labor jobs with shitty pay. They spend their entire lives in perpetual poverty no matter how hard they work and how many jobs they take because they're ultimately fighting a system that has not only abandoned them but also creates policies that prevent them from moving higher in life.

Due to these frustrations, a lot of them take up gambling and drinking alcohol to cope with their sorrows. Frustrations with the system and with their situations lead to a lot of them taking up gambling and developing alcoholism to cope. There is also high rate of violence among them, especially domestic violence as heads of households who were usually the ones to go out into the world and deal with the discrimination and struggles while trying to pursue low class jobs would take out their anger on their wives and ultimately children. The children who grow up in this environment, where violence is all they know would eventually go on to become abusers themselves when they start families of their own, that is, if they don't die of illness or are killed before that.

You can read more about it here, here, here, here and here.

We can see that with Sanemi's dad, the piece of shit who took out all his anger and frustrations on his wife and children before ultimately becoming a victim of violence himself.

After his death, we see Sanemi having to take up the responsibility of taking care of the family as was culturally expected of the firstborn and the oldest boy - similar to Tanjiro. When Sanemi's dad died, he had to take up a job to take care of the family. In the scene where he talks with Genya about their dad's death and their promise to take care of their mother and siblings, we can see that Sanemi is pulling a rickshaw.

Rickshaw pullers were among the lowest classes of manual labor, they were referred to sometimes as 'Human horses' and while they were mostly known for transporting people, they were also hired by merchants and regular people to transport goods as well. We're not told of the work his mother did before she turned into a demon, but she might have been a domestic worker or a waitress of some sort. It's not hard to imagine that there were times when the kids had to go hungry.

So what's the point of all this story? Well because children who come from these backgrounds are not only often violent and aggressive in their language, conduct and personality but even if they do manage to make it to adulthood and by some miracle manage to break through the class barrier they often come out of the other side with a MASSIVE inferiority complex.

And our dear boy Sanemi has one, big time.

Now that we've talked about his background, let's talk about how all this contributes to his....

Relationships

In the fandom, the main complaints about Sanemi is his behavior towards Giyuu, Tanjiro, the demon slayer trainees and Genya, so I'm going to focus on just these.

Giyuu

Like I've mentioned before @roseameilatempest already posted a great write-up about Sanemi and his complicated relationship with Giyuu, so I'm just adding to it.

The two main things that create friction in their relationship, aside from Giyuu's inability to communicate are Sanemi's low self-esteem and his aggressive personality. The low self-esteem really showed itself when he questioned Giyuu at the Hashira meeting about his 'I'm not like you guys attitude'.

In this scene he asks

Which is a really interesting question because of all the Hashiras he's the only one who voices this sentiment. Obanai just talks about Giyuu wanting to get ahead, Shinobu just asks him to explain himself, Muichiro doesn't really care, but there's the thing about being the baby of the group so he may not want to butt-in to the 'adult' matters. Gyomei is praying.

Sanemi's the only one who stands up and confronts Giyuu about the matter but given his background as previously discussed it's almost as if he's asking "Are you looking down on me?".

From the little we know of Giyuu's backstory, he didn't grow up in poverty. After his family died, he went to go live with relatives before making the decision to leave and join the corps. He has fair skin and soft looking features in contrast to Sanemi's rough, scarred ones. He has slim, delicate-looking hands with piano-playing fingers compared to Sanemi large, knobby, rough-looking hands with early-onset-arthritis-ass fingers.

Even his conduct has a certain air of class to it. So when Giyuu says stuff like 'I'm not like other girls-I mean Hashira', the inferiority complex part of Sanemi is triggered, and he takes it as an attack on him thinking that Giyuu is looking down on him because of his poor background and his class.

But Sanemi deep down cares, even if he doesn't realize it. Instead of dismissing Giyuu as just being a dick, he tries to get an answer, an explanation, but because of his rough way of speaking and his aggressive personality it comes out confrontational. He doesn't know how to express himself in a non-aggressive way because nobody ever taught him how.

Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤)

Ah yes, Sanemi's BFF. I'm honestly surprised that some people don't understand why Sanemi does not vibe with Tanjiro. Tanjiro embarrassed him in their first meeting, only to escape the consequences for his actions because of the Master's benevolence. He questioned his worth as a Hashira which, as mentioned in the previous post, is the core of Sanemi's identity.

In their second encounter, Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) talked back to him. Now, despite all the wacky and interesting characters, the fancy mods to their uniform with the haoris and stuff, the Demon Slayers Corps are still a military organization. They have a hierarchy, they have rules and punishments for those who break them and within the context of the military and cultural values: You don't talk back to your superiors, you don't disrespect them and you most certainly don't embarrass them no matter how in the right you feel you are. It's not fair, it just is. Some superiors may tolerate it like Tengen, Giyuu, Mitsuri and Shinobu but others, like Sanemi, Gyomei, Obanai and even Muichiro will not.

I mean, even Mitsuri complained about Genya's behavior when she first met him, even though his actions were because of him being shy.

The first time Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) disrespected Sanemi, he was on neutral ground, the Master's mansion. Kagaya is a saint, so he understood Tanjiro's actions, but remember he also chided Tanjiro a bit, even if it was in a soft manner. Now in this second encounter, He's in Sanemi's house, in his domain, and you can't come about here disrespecting your senior in their own house. And If you do, be prepared to face the consequences.

Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) then embarrassed Sanemi again by (rightfully) calling him out on his shitty behavior towards Genya, in public, in front of his other subordinates. He then proceeds to not only block Sanemi's punch but to counter it with an embarrassing kick to the neck, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCRUBS! Like what? In some organizations, you could be penalized and immediately kicked out, but like I said, Kagaya is a saint.

That's why Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) was given the reprimand and Sanemi wasn't. Because he was in the wrong.

The concept may seem foreign to people who grew up in the west, but for those of us from home countries that have rigid power and class structures, we know this pain all too well.

That's why you talk and complain about your superiors BEHIND their backs, like Zenitsu does.

I swear, Zenitsu is probably the realest character in the series, I love him so much 😂.

Then in the last encounter they had, Tanjiro embarrassed Sanemi again, but this time it's worse because he did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS CRUSH!

Your senior's business is not your business, if you see them fighting, it's best just to leave them alone and pray it's the one you hate that gets his ass kicked.

So here's Sanemi trying to communicate with his crush, and he's about to get to the part where they get to put their hands on each other ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Then Tanjiro comes up and gets between them, ignoring the restraining order and then asking if they were fighting over ohagi.

He then reveals Sanemi's biggest secret: That he's gay-I-mean-er likes ohagi. Neither Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) nor Giyuu see any problem with this because soft boys but for a tough, scary man like Sanemi this is a problem. He's a man, he shouldn't be taking sweets! (which is like a real thing in Japan, so i learned. You can read about it here, here, here and here), also Sanemi loves ohagi becuase his mom used to make it; men shouldn't be thinking about their mommies! Men should be tough and only eat manly things like raw bull testicles and cement!

Then Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) drives the knife even further by asking him about his ohagi preferences, while Giyuu (who unknown to Sanemi is glad to have found an opportunity to rizz him up) asks him to confirm but in Sanemi's mind he thinks Giyuu is making fun of him too.

So Tanjiro has, so far, called him a shitty Hashira, a shitty brother, and now a shitty man. All he wanted to do was smash and now he's getting pressed by a 16 year old. So yea, our boy is going to react in the only way he knows how - by giving Tanjiro a swift clock to the jaw.

At this point, you've gotta pity Sanemi, he's the real victim in this relationship. But let's move on.

The Trainees

This is another complaint that also confuses me because the answer is so obvious. Why is Sanemi hard on the trainees?

Because Sanemi's training is Infinite Strikes! Because his training is supposed to be hard! Because they're at war! Because Muzan might be coming soon! Because this is a military training! Because the Hashiras are basically Drill Sergeants! Because Sanemi says fuck you!

But seriously, I don't understand why Sanemi and Obanai are getting hate for their training methods when Tengen's was just as harsh, Mitsuri was basically ending family bloodlines, Muichiro deadass was about to sashimi someone's child.

And Gyomei? Gyomei's training basically qualifies as torture by the Geneva convention laws. You see these guys below? These boys are all dead! Dead, i tell you! You can't convince me otherwise!

Even Inosuke died!

The training is meant to be harsh because it's not just the trainees lives at stake, it's the people of Japan, it's the lives of their friends, families and loved ones. The Hashiras know this and Sanemi whose whole life revolves around being a demon slayer and killer, especially knows this.

He and Obanai don't have the luxury of sending the junior slayers back for their protection like they did in the mansion. Like we saw in the last episode of the season, Muzan came after everyone not just the Hashira. Despite his rough and harsh exterior, Sanemi actually cares about his colleagues and his subordinates and he doesn't want them to die needlessly. If that means he has to be the 'bad' Hashira, then that's fine with him.

Genya

There's no justification for the shit he pulled trying to poke Genya's eyes out. I've made like two posts regarding this before about how his actions were not only stupid but will ultimately be pointless because Genya is amazing!

Aside from wanting to keep Genya safe (whatever that means), I think one of the reasons Sanemi doesn't want to come in contact with Genya is because when he's around Genya he's reminded of the past and trauma that he's trying to repress. I don't think it was a random choice that older Genya is dressed in a way almost similar to baby Genya. So everytime Sanemi sees him, despite Genya's size and the awesome things he's done, all he can see is that little boy that he almost failed to protect, that called him a monster, that rejected him and seeing that reopens that old core wound. That he's a monster.

Sanemi isn't ready to face all that, so with the little understanding of his own emotions and the trappings of toxic masculinity, he pushes Genya away becuase doing so is way, way, way easier than talking to his brother. It's easier than revealing to Genya that Genya's words did hurt him, that he failed to protect their mom and siblings and that maybe Genya is right, he is a monster, that even though he saved Genya it doesn't change the fact that he used his very hands to kill the only person that loved and protected them in this world.

I think a lot of people really underestimate the gravity of what baby Sanemi did. Tanjiro couldn't kill Nezuko and I'm sure he himself would've rather died than raise a hand to his loved ones but Tanjiro was lucky in a sick way because Nezuko was not only the only survivor but encountered Giyuu who who gave him the opportunity to save Nezuko, essentially giving her a second life. Sanemi never had that chance. In order to protect his brother, he had to kill his beloved mother, and you can just imagine the amount of damage that can do to a child's psyche.

I read a comment on Youtube that said this was probably the reason why Sanemi was so feverently against the Master's defence of Nezuko and that when Nezuko rejected his blood, his whole worldview must have shattered because if Nezuko was able to overcome her demonic urges and still maintain her sanity, why couldn't his beloved mother?

But you might ask, how come Genya seems fine? Well, he wasn't at first, he was basically Sanemi 2.0 but he was able to make peace with himself, escape the trappings of toxic masculinity and the violence that they were raised in. Instead of bottling up his emotions, he wants to reach out, to apologize for his behavior, to mend their brotherhood because no matter how Sanemi is now, no matter how many times he tells him to get lost, no matter the harsh words he throws at him, to Genya he'll always be his Aniki.

The same Aniki who's been looking out for him, the same Aniki that sought him out and comforted him after he punched the landlord's shitty son, the same Aniki who gave him a piggyback ride despite them practically being the same height just to make Genya feel happy and loved, the same Aniki who let out that brilliant laugh after they made the promise to protect their family as he pulled the Rickshaw to make some money for the family, the same Aniki who is the sweetest, kindest person in the whole world.

While we see the rough, scarred, aggressive and scary Sanemi, Genya only sees this:

I'm sure a lot of us know what it's like to be angry, to lash out, to push people away and how difficult it is go through life in a world that doesn't care about you or your trauma. We know what it's like to be left behind and forgotten. We wander aimlessly through life hurting with a feeling of emptiness and we don't even know why. Some of us overcome, some of us don't. We just make do with the tools and little resources we have and Sanemi is a painful reminder of that.

In Conclusion, Sanemi is a complex character. He's not all star good, he's a dick, some of his actions are straightup unhinged, but that's what makes him human. He's not perfect, and for us to appreciate this character we have to accept him in all his wild, raging, scarred, petty-ass, little-brother-eye-poking, women's-size-7-feet-having, ohagi-loving glory.

I'm told the old Romita era comics made a number of failed attempts to advance Gwen, and one of them involved taking some of MJ's traits and giving them to Gwen. After Gwen passed away, Gwen then started to be romanticized because she was dead. Did Gwen ever have a personality unique to her or was she always just MJ-lite?

Well... Gwen came first.

The traits she adopted from MJ (at Stan Lee's request) were mostly cool-kid jargon and fashion sense, which are things it makes sense for friends to pick up from each other. They even manage to play it off as cute in-universe characterization.

But they act and think very differently! If anything... MJ was Gwen-lite. Gwen at least got some thought bubbles. MJ started as just eccentric, hot, and self-centered because--well--it was funny.

They have separate lives. Gwen comes from an upper-class household with a cop for a dad and comes off as preppy and sometimes entitled. MJ lives with a working-class aunt and acts more alt-culture liberal but usually isn't on anyone's side but her own. Gwen is getting a scientific degree alongside Peter. MJ is following a long-shot dream of making it big by taking classes at community college. Gwen is Ditko flavored, MJ is Romita flavored.

Gwen is direct and confrontational where MJ is sarcastic and evasive. Gwen will insult someone she likes to get their attention while MJ will flatter people she dislikes just for kicks. Gwen has an investigative bent where MJ has a minding-my-own-damn-business field. Gwen checks in on friends' mental health, angry-cries fairly easily, and asks for help when she needs it. MJ would rather die than have an Unauthorized Feeling.

Gwen is fiercely loyal and cares a lot about things being Fair; she'll get in a stranger's face over something MJ would laugh off. MJ is now known as a combat pragmatist who can hold her own against supervillains, but people forget that Gwen would come at people with her BARE HANDS when she got mad. Just like Peter<3

"boring good girl vs cool bad girl" is the flattest way to read the girls' characterization and I'm sad it's reduced to that in people's minds. I say everything in this post as a huge 616 MJ apologist: Gwen wasn't left behind because she was the two-dimensional one.

Hi! After reading your analysis on Obanai I remember about a random thought I had a while ago. In a lot of "How they fell in love with you" x Reader scenarios on this site the reader often compliments Obanai's eyes and that makes him so flattered that it causes him to strat developing feeling for the reader. But personally, I am sure Obanai is already way too aware about how beautiful/pretty/cool/exotic his eyes are. In fact, he heard that kind of compliment his entire life from the moment he was born. Comparatively to those around him though, he isn't personally fond of his eyes. His eyes and his gender are what gave him more trouble than what the many other babies from his family had gotten before and after him. To that it can be added that those who complimented his eyes the most are his family who had obvious ulterior motives and who remained in Obanai's memory as very creepy and predatory women.

So in my mind, I wouldn't be surprised if Obanai would be rather uncomfortable, suspicious or irritated (in a self-defensive way) if some random person was to compliment his looks. Like... Do they want something from him? Do they want to trick him into letting his guard down? Are they intending to use him as an object for their own interests? Are they genuinely nice or just shallow people?

Given how you said that he is intentionally trying to hide himself under his big clothes and choppy hair cut, do you also think he dislikes compliments about his looks (his eyes in particular) like I presented my point above?

Hiiii! Thanks for your question! You're right! It makes sense that he wouldn't like comments about his appearance no matter how positive. Aside from his eyes, Obanai is really beautiful, like the kind of fair-skinned, delicate beauty that Giyuu and Muichiro have and that was what 'attracted' the snake demon and his female relatives.

It could even be triggering if it comes from a woman or girl reminding him of the fawning attention he got from his relatives. It's probably also the reason he fell in love with Mitsuri, she has never once mentioned his appearance but instead talked about his strength and kindness.

Hope this answers your question :)

Unhinged observation

Kaburamaru hissing at Suma

His hissing wasn't for nothing. He was protecting Obanai.

Let me explain:

Although Kaburamaru has a mind of his own, most of the time he mirrors Obanai's emotions. Like when he was threatening Tanjiro and during Gyomei's clapping.

When Suma was reprimanding Obanai, you could see that she was getting too close, and given Obanai's past it's possible that he found her aggressive actions triggering, reminding him of his female relatives so he got uncomfortable and possibly scared.

So Kaburamaru noticed this and responded in the way he knew how, by telling poor Suma to back off.

It's not outside the realm of possibility that since Kaburamaru is around Obanai's neck all the time so he would be able to feel when his heart's beating faster or when he's stressed through the veins in Obanai's neck.

Even in real life, our pets usually know when we're in distress and try to find ways to comfort us. My cat does this and he isn't even around my neck, well unless I'm late with food or he's just using me as a platform to get to somewhere 😂

Kaburamaru wasn't being a dick, he was just protecting Obanai 🥺

hey spiderheads

you're so fuckin right about peter/johnnybin that post i was just whispering yessss the whole time readin it

i can't write for shit myself (its been 13 years and i wrote something kinda decent imo) but all i can picture is those two doing an interview or making a youtube video as an official couple. like johnny's so used to the structure of all of it but peter?? oh god never let this man be on the other side of a camera he is a MESS

bitchy af....like turned the dial to 11 catty and snarky answers to the fan questions. johnny laughs and pokes fun at his bf about being shy but he gets a lil frustrated/insecure-ish toward the end. "peter didnt want to do this with me; is it because this is too much/I'M too much? i know i've dated a lot of ppl before him so does that gross him out now?" and they have a lil squabble (two men with disastrous personal/professional lives = a perfect match) but make up(out) after yayyyyy!!!! peter maaaybe even starts liking the exposure a bit...def not because he likes seeing johnny smile nope nuh uh totally impossible...

lol sorry for the wholeass novel but ugh i love these dumbasses

You get it! I like to think a reporter will ask them a weird/invasive question and Johnny tries to stay all polite and professional but Peter just immediately goes “what the fuck kinda question is that?” and now Johnny’s trying (and failing) to hold in a laugh, his interviews definitely blow up online and all of a sudden there are dozens of “Peter Parker’s lack of media training” compilations à la Reneé Rapp, I like to think Johnny just eats it up, he thinks it’s hilarious, Sue does not find it as funny as him and tries to make Peter meet with the family PR team before it turns disastrous for them

I like to think in all his cattiness is definitely a result of his brain short-circuiting out of anxiety so his mouth just runs on autopilot, he’ll say literally anything on his mind but he does it with the typical Parker charm that everyone loves

fic fixing

hi guys! My fic: The chaos of Peter's life and everyone discovering it is going to go through a little bit of editing this next 2 days, that means I'm trying to fix all my grammar mistakes I've made in the past chapters! I've already fixed (it's probably not perfect but I've tried) the first 4 chapters! So if you reread it and find that some things have changed it's bcs of that! (I've added some little parts and changes some others)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58383460/chapters/148703167

I'll also probably add a new chapter in this time period, bcs where I'm from we're having a 4 day weekend so I'll try to be productive!!

Your blog is amazing! Sanemi caught my eye all those years ago when he appeared the first time in season 1, he intrigued me from the get go.

Possible spoilers below for season one**

It shocked me how he quick he was to stab Nezuko. I had a long talk with my friend about that scene and he instantly hated him, rightfully so I suppose, but I argued that while we have context on Nezuko Sanemi, and the other hashira besides Giyu, do not so of course it was only natural for him to react like that(although maybe a bit extreme but that’s who Sanemi IS). No one there had any idea besides Tanjiro and Giyu.

Anyway, I love your character analysis posts, I’ve especially learned a lot about Obanai who I haven’t had a firm grasp on until now since I haven’t read the manga yet. You’re doing great work!

Hiiii! Thanks so much for your question! Yes you're absolutely right. We feel enraged for Nezuko because we've been following she and Tanjiro's pov but if you switch the the Hashira's you'll realize just how messed up the situation actually is.

Like imagine hearing the news that a slayer is harboring a demon and carrying her along on his journeys. Here's a list of implications from the Hashira's pov:

For those who know about them, the Demon Slayer Corps and the slayers are beacons of hope and most of all safety. This image is shattered when the people would find out that a Slayer has been harboring a demon. It doesn't matter if Nezuko wouldn't eat them, they don't know that.

Everyone knows that demons need to eat people to survive. A slayer carrying a demon has the horrifying implication that he's been feeding people to her. He's probably been using his identity as a slayer to gain people's trust before allowing Nezuko to devour them.

Tanjiro could be a spy. We know that there are humans who work for Muzan whether knowingly or unknowingly, we don't know but they're there. Tanjiro could be one of them, his job was probably to infiltrate the Corps, find out their location and ask Nezuko to kill the Master.

Muzan could have learned about the Corps secrets and locations through Nezuko. I'm sure both the Master and the Hashira know this so Tanjiro carrying around a demon already compromises the safety of the Corps and it's members. Because remember it's not just the slayers, it's the Kakushi, the butterfly girls, the people who host slayers in their homes, the swordsmiths, the crows and the Master himself.

So yea while Sanemi's stabbing of Nezuko was excessive it wasn't exactly unwarranted and I thought I was in the minority about not hating Sanemi when he was first introduced. I was more like 'who's this crackhead?' and 'damnnnnn bro chill!' when he stabbed Nezuko 😂, it's nice to know that you get his actions too.

Thank you so much for your kind words!

Kny Oneshot - Giyú asked Mitsuri to help him befriend Sanemi

Linking to a post I made HERE

After Tanjiro's little pep talk the other day, I think Giyú took that on like a silent challenge for himself, to try and make some friends - or at least improve his relationships a little. And Giyú is a man of his word - if he says he'll do something - he'll do it.

So he committed to what he told Tanjiro, and set out to befriend Sanemi. And it got pretty serious pretty fast. I mean he knew how to make Ohagi, but he didn't know how to do it well. Luckily, he knew someone who did...

WORD COUNT: 3.4k

"WHAT?!" Mitsuri's voice rang out, reverberating on the walls of her estate

"Mits, please.." Giyú groaned, raising one hand to his ear and another to his shaking tea.

"Op- sorry." she grinned awkwardly and flushed "It's just that I didn't exactly expect you to be so keen on... making... friends - WAIT NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT I JUST- ohhh I'm not too good at this am I?" she hung her head

"Not really, that's a pretty astute observation though." Giyú shrugged, sipping his tea "Hey, this stuff is pretty good."

"The Master recommended it to me actually! It's form some lovely vendors down by the mansion, down past the pharmacy!"

A slightly uncomfortable silence perused them; Giyú continuing to sip his tea, and Mitsuri quietly brewing another pot at her counter.

He's not speaking at all?!??! Oh this is so painfully quiet!! It's nice to have him here but - IS HE UNCOMFORTABLE TOO??!? OH NO!! I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I DON'T WANT HIM HERE!! THIS IS SUCH A BIG STEP AND I DON'T WANT IT TO BE FOR NOTHING AND-

"Do you think this is a good idea? Honestly - do you?" Giyú suddenly uttered, it was so quiet Mitsuri surely would have missed it completely if the room were not this quiet.

Giyú's eyes glinted with confusion "More?? You mean I... have friends already?"

W-what?! Mitsuri's thoughts screamed

"Are... we not friends, Mr Tomioka?" she smiled nervously

"Well, Kocho told me that you likely did not want to peruse friendship with someone like myself. She told me that you were more than likely going to become violently ill if I attempted to initiate a relationship higher than acquaintances with you." spoke with a monotonous voice but he nodded as thought her point was valid.

"HUH?!" Mitsuri shrieked "And you BELEIVED her?!!"

"I trust Kocho." He peered up at her innocently

"Don't." she smiled wearily, patting his back gently before pulling him to his feet "Anyhoo!~ Let's teach you how to DO THIS!!" her voice grew fierce with determination as she hauled him over to her countertop

~~~~~~

After a few long silences, a surprising fit of laughter, and two hours of prepping - they were finished. A fresh batch of Ohagi lay on the table in front of them, and beside it was a written recipe that Giyú could follow in future.

"Thanks, 'Tsu." Giyú muttered, a gentle smile coming to his face "I really do appreciate all this."

"'Course Giyú!" she slung an arm around him "I just hope that Sanemi likes them! I mean I'm sure he will - he's like addicted to these things. If he didn't train to often I really would worry for his health, you know?"

"Hmm..." Giyú hummed, his mind seemingly elsewhere

"Giyú? You okay?"

"Huh? Oh - yes, I was just thinking how Sabito might react to me giving him these..."

"Sorry?" Mitsuri, who had slipped away from Giyú to start cleaning the mess they had made, suddenly spun to face him "How who might react?"

Giyú's brows furrowed, confused by her seemingly redundant question "...Sanemi??"

"Nono you said Sabito…" Mitsuri smiled confusedly at him "Giyú…who's Sabito?"

but she didn't get a response. Instead, she was met with the view of Tomioka clasping tightly to his left arm, a bewildered look in his downcast eyes. is breath began to quicken, his palms and brow growing wet, body beginning to tremble as the Love Hashira drew closer.

"Giyú, are... you alright?" she went to place a hand on his shoulder, but he jolted back from her

"I, uh- I think I should be going.." bowing deeply to her, grabbed the paper on the table and swiftly left the mansion with her following in an anxious pursuit.

"Giyú!! I'm- I'm sorry!! Please just come back!!" but Giyú had taken off in full sprint and was well out of view by now - there was no catching him.

"Shoot..." she clamped her teeth down on a bent finger

~~~~~

Sabito?? Why did I say his name?? Surely he doesn't remind me of-

Giyú was running through this seemingly endless forest when the notion dawned on him. It was a truly awful thought, not one that he could ever admit out loud - but the two were all too similar for him not to have noticed eventually.

"Shit." he hissed under his breath as he entered his home, eyes beginning to sting as he began to disrobe; practically tearing off the uniform he was not worthy of owning. Tossing his mismatched jacket to his futon, he sank to the floor once he had put on something more comfortable.

Then once again, that all too familiar sinking feeling consumed him. that heavy weight on his chest returned, his eyes prickling with tears, mangled sobs parting form his lips. He drew his knees to his chest instinctively, reaching for his haori to bury his face in, the familiar textures only worsening his cries. God, he felt pathetic. It was one word, one name, one stupid, little, insignificant mistake - and it had gotten him this worked up??

He was supposed to be a convincing placeholder for the water pillar, loosing his composure in front of a Hashira was not going to ensure his facade's security. He needed to try harder. Why had he always been so damn emotional?? He was always overreacting to the smallest of things - just like his father had always said to him. Even Urokodaki had alluded to it before...

It was before final selection, and he was so worried that the two of them would not make it home. He was told to remain calm, to stay brave, and not show his fear. He was assured that he would come home safe, practically unharmed. If only he had been assured that Sabito would have been the same…

Sabito... surely that man didn't remind him of Sabito... Sabito was kind... Sabito was gentle... Sabito was determined.. Sabito was fierce Sabito was a fighter... Sanemi was-

"Fuck..." Giyú hissed under his breath, head now in his hands.

Maybe he does... but that's insane...

Giyú raised his head slowly, his unchanging expression still leaking with salted water just as the paper slipped from the inner pocket of his haori. He slipped it into his hands, the smell of the bean paste that stained it lingering in his nose.

As he looked at Mitsuri's tidy, cursive writing, his mind began to wander again. She had put such effort into this for him, just to help him… make friends, god this is almost funny.

Giyū let out a mix of a sob and laugh, climbing to his feet as he set out for his kitchen. If she was so adamant on helping him, then surely this was something worth trying.

He luckily found the ingredients listed in his cupboards, raiding them to find each component of the recipe. If he was going to do this - he was going to do it well…

He was going to make use of what Sabito left to him… one way or another…

~~~~~

“Then I think that is the last of it!” Uzui smiled, adjusting his eyepatch as their makeshift hashira meeting came to an end.

It wasn’t something they needed to do, but it let them keep some kind of normality to their situation, and was a nice excuse to check in on each other.

“Oh and if anyone bumps into Kocho again…” he stretched his annunciation “Tellll her I still have that thing I- Suma borrowed.” He paused for a moment before swatting a hand dismissively “Sh- She’ll know what I mean.”

And as the hashira filed out of the room - the only remaining pair in the room was, as luck would have it, Sanemi and Giyú.

“Igurooooo” Sanemi groaned through a clenched jaw, hurriedly tying his sandals again “bastard - all I asked was for you to wait for me - but nooo” he hurried his voice to a higher, more effeminate tone “I cAn’t KeEp MiTsUri wAiTiNg~”

Giyuu, sat in the back of the soon, simply observed The wind hashira as he struggled to retie the strings on his footwear. It was actually taking quite a long time, wow.

The entire meeting, Giyú and Sanemi had been stealing glances, ones that were received as snide looks due to Giyú's unfortunate resting face, and thus ignored.

Maybe he just didn’t notice me… Giyú thought to himself.

“Shinazugawa..?” Giyū muttered, rising to his feet

“HOLY- Tomioka??” Sanemi jolted, promptly composing himself again

I literally didn’t even realise he was still here. Ah shit he probably thinks I’m fucking crazy, talking to myself like that-

“Are you alright?” Giyū muttered “You’re staring.”

“No I’m not, jackass.” Sanemi huffed, a slight tinge of embarrassment reddening his face

“Alright then.” Giyū blinked indifferently "I must be seeing things."

“Do you NEED something?!” Sanemi whined, finishing with his straps

"I uh, I wanted to give you this..." Giyú spoke very gently, his tone void of emotion as he extended a hand with a small offering atop it; a little black bag with a few pieces of Ohagi as its contents.

"Is that..." Sanemi looked at Giyú in disbelief

"Ohagi? Yes. After the other day with Tanjiro - I thought it might be something you'd enjo-"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Tomioka." Sanemi scoffed, a hand resting on his hip "You can drop the act. I get you don't like me, but trying to mock me? That's another thing entirely. Seriously fuck off."

He leant down to grab his satchel, turning on his heel to point an angry finger at the other man "DON'T follow me out."

And with a frustrated huff, Sanemi left the room with a slam of the door, leaving Giyú dumbfounded, and a little offended. What on earth did he mean? Mocking him? That's not what he was doing at all? Maybe it was his face. Kocho had told him he had an unpleasant face on more than one occasion - only looking out for him, of course. But maybe it was something he could take into consideration..?

~~~

"'Guro! 'Tsuri!!" Sanemi yelled, catching up to his friends "You will not believe what just happened."

"Tomioka struck up a conversation with you" Obanai snickered, only to get a swat on the back of the head from Mitsuri "Sorry! Sorry..."

"Yeah... actually..." Sanemi sighed, peering over his shoulder apprehensively, raising a hand to the back of his neck and rubbing anxiously "It was really fucking weird, he fucking tried to give me Ohagi.."

Obanai stopped in his tracks, disgust on his face "You're joking, right??"

Mitsuri's cheeks reddened in worry, her hands flittering before her "I-I thought you liked Ohagi, Sanemi?!"

Sanemi turned to her as they walked, dragging a confused Iguro by the elbow behind him "Oh no I do, it was just the way he said it was so - condescending?"

HOW DID HE MANAGE TO BE CONDESCENDING??! IT'S GOSH DARN OHAGI?! Mitsuri's thoughts ran wild, trying to comprehend what she had just heard

"How did he even know you liked that sugary shit?" Obanai hissed while he shook himself from Sanemi's grasp, slotting himself between him and Mitsuri

Sanemi groaned and cast his eyes skyward "That fucking Kamado boy ratted me out. He was so frustratingly kind while he did it too. GOD I mate the little bastard. I just don't trust it! There is just no way-"

"Someone is actually. That. Nice." Mitsuri and Obanai finished his sentence, memorizing it from the countless times Sanemi had rattled on about the alleged prodigy

"I don't get how you two hate him so much!" Tsuri pouted turning her chin up at them and looking away "Nezuko either! The two of them are just so sweet!!"

Sanemi snickered down at Obanai, mouthing "You sure about this one?"

But his only response was a half-assed punch to the gut and the sound of a blood vessel bursting from his little companion

"It's just why would he got that far out of his way just to piss me off?? I get he's an odd one but even for him this is another level of fuckery."

"Then maybe it wasn't - uh..." she gestured to Iguro

"FUCKERY."

"Well yeah, that."

"'Tsuri what the fuck are you talkin' about"

"What is he was trying to be uh nice...?" she smiled awkwardly

Sanemi's jaw dropped despite his mouth remaining shut, Iguro slowly meeting his gaze, and after a few seconds of silence the two erupted in sonorous laughter, causing Mitsuri to throw up her hands in defeat with a huff.

"Ohohoh, 'Tsu that's a good one." Sanemi slapped her shoulder playfully as he struggled for air

"Yeah, Mits. I gotta give it to you, never thought you'd make jokes about that asshole too - WHEW I CAN'T BREATHE." Iguro chimed in, and Kaburamaru even hissed in delight

"I am serious!! What if he want's to be frien-" but she was cut off by another chorus of shouts and howling "UGH. Maybe Tengen's right, he shouldn't give you two the time of day." she pouted, speeding off in a huff from the other men

"Oh no - Mits come back!" Iguro cooed, barely stifling his laughter

"Yeah pinkie! Come tell us how he wants to get closer to- PFFT HAHA IGURO I CAN'T TAKE IT IT'S TOO FUNNY!!" The man began to sob with violent laughter, his body shaking

But she was already long gone by the time he had forced out the sentence, and even further than that when the real comedy began.

"Dude she is a fucking riot. I take it back - I think I can look past her benevolence with that demon girl, she is hilarious. 'hE's TrYinG tO Be nicE' OH MY GOD HAHA"

Iguro wiped the ghost of a tear from his eye "You impersonate her far too well"

"A-thank you, I've had practice." he beamed

they continued to walk for a few more minutes, light-hearted jeers audible in the surrounding area, as well as some information that was probably best not to be discussed in public.

"No but I saw him take it from her as well - deadass. Don't look at me like that!! I am telling you that's what 'Suma' borrowed from her"

Iguro cackled in disbeleif "there is now way you are gonna stand tere and lie, saying he took a bottle of-"

"I AM NOT LYING!!" he beamed in dismay "WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THIS??"

"I DON'T KNOW?! SOME SICK REVENGE FOR THE TIME HE CAUGHT YOU-"

"YOU SAID WE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT IT." He gasped dramatically, slapping a hand on the shorter man's mouth "there is no way you just tried to lick me with that on your face."

"I literally forgot it was there - ew it tastes like Kocho's fuck ass tea she gives us in rehab"

"I'll take your word for it, pal" he giggled, wiping his hand on his front absentmindedly

"You sure? I mean I could be a fucking liar as well??"

"Well then, there's only one way for me to really find out isn't there??" he smirked, jokingly tilting up his friends chin, leaning in before the two of them roared with laughter

"What's so funny?" A third voice then chimed in

"OH MY GOD" Sanemi screamed

"WOAH- T-Tomioka??" Obanai poorly supressed a gag as he turned to see none other than the water hashira stood behind them, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Yes?" he beamed

"What are you doing here?" Sanemi stepped forward, a slight flush to his face "I thought I told you not to follow me out??"

"Dudeee." Obanai sneered seeing the red tinge to his friend's face

"I didn't. I just happened to be passing though here! my estate's just down the way."

Although this was Tomioka Giyū's natural demeanour, this was a side to him never before seen by his fellow hashira, and thus was met as such.

"Would you quit that??" Iguro hissed, Kaburamaru lashing her tail around his neck

Giyū blinked at Obanai, mildly perplexed by the sudden hostility. "Quit what?" he asked, voice even and unaltering to the tension around them

"You’re... smiling?" Sanemi sneered, stepping up to Obanai’s side, arms crossed defensively. His eyes narrowed, suspicious of the Water Pillar's sudden shift in personality. “What the hell are you playing at?”

Giyū stood before them in silence, both debating what he was going to say, and feeling the pressure of the scrutiny weighing down on him. It wasn't often that he allowed himself to feel anything beyond his solemn duty, and he had to admit, it did feel awfully strange.

“I’m… not playing at anything,” Giyū finally replied, looking back at Sanemi. “I was trying to offer you something I thought you’d like, but clearly I misjudged.”

Sanemi rolled his eyes, his irritation still palpable. “You really expect me to believe that? After all these years of keeping your distance, barely saying a word, and now you want to mock and tease? Give me a break, Tomioka.”

"Yeah," Obanai chimed in, his expression cold. "You're always standing around like you're better than the rest of us. And even if you aren't playing at anything, it's suspicious regardless."

Giyū clenched his fists at his sides, fighting back the sting of their words. He knew his demeanour often came off as distant—aloof, even. But he wasn’t trying to look down on anyone. He was just… bad at expressing himself. And worse at forming connections. Maybe it was too late to change things.

“I am not mocking either of you. I apologise if I have seemed distant, but if you cannot comprehend my efforts, I suppose I'll leave the to of you to... frolic? in peace until I can find a way to help you to. "

Sanemi’s gaze flickered with a confusing blend of emotion. There was no doubt shock in it, a shadow of understanding, and what appeared to be flusterment? But it was gone as quickly as it came. “Whatever.” he muttered, turning away, that red still lingering on his face, possibly even worse than before

Obanai glanced up at Sanemi before fixing Giyū with a hard stare. “Word of advice, Tomioka. You have gotta fix your face. People are going to assume you're being an ass if you say things with that look plastered on."

"You just said you didn't want me smiling."

"Just don't capture the essence of a frost bitten apple, okay?" he groaned sarcastically

“I’ll… keep that in mind,” Giyū muttered with a determined nod.

"Fucking hell he took me seriously" Iguro hissed under his breath

With that, Giyū turned to leave, the tension in the air still thick. But at least he had tried. And that, he thought, was a step in the right direction.

“And, Sanemi? If you change your mind about the Ohagi, you know where to find me.”

Behind him, Obanai leaned toward Sanemi with a low chuckle. “Looks like you’ve got yourself a little admirer. Maybe he’s not as dead inside as we thought, huh?”

Sanemi glowered, swatting Obanai lightly on the shoulder. “Shut up. There’s no way in hell Tomioka’s interested in making good on things. I bet you dinner it was an order from the master."

“Maybe,” Obanai mused. “Or maybe he really does want to befriend you, and you’re just too stubborn to admit it.”

Sanemi’s scowl deepened, but he didn’t respond. He wasn’t sure what bothered him more—the idea that Giyū might actually want to connect with him, or the nagging thought that maybe he wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea.

As Giyū walked away, the faint memory of Sabito drifted back to his mind. Maybe it wasn't such an awful idea to get closer with the two of them - and maybe this is what Sabito would have wanted! But deeper down, the realisation began to dawn on him that - maybe this is what he wanted too..

OKAY I HAVE NO IDEA IF ANYONE READ THIS TO THE END BUT IF YOU DID PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!! (Please note that this is a rough draft for the chapter that will be posted to my Kny of insert "Have wee met before" and the chapter will be called "Don't follow me out." xx) OKAY THANK YOU THAT IS ALL GOODBYE!!

~ Lav xx