NEW CHAPTER

i think sanemi uses pet names a lot, unconsciously, and giyuu notices this and wants to reciprocate them so, like, he manages to squeeze on in and, like—

"giyuu?"

"yeah, babe??" (giyuu wonders if it's overkill)

sanemi freezes, turning to giyuu with comically slow movements. "huh?"

giyuu looks up, genuinely wondering what's wrong. "hm?"

"did you just-" sanemi stammers, his cheeks pink. "say that again."

"say what?"

"the. the word. you know."

"oh! babe?"

sanemi turns away and promptly knocks his head against the wall, making giyuu scurry over.

"what happened?? should i not?-"

"god, fuck, i love you," sanemi growls. he turns and suffocates giyuu with a hug, apparently too busy reveling in the term to care about either of their health.

"uhm, sanemi, i can't breathe."

"sorry." he releases him. goes back to hitting the wall with his head—or using the wall to hit his head. it's hard to tell what is being abused. (he is definitely going to do anything to make giyuu call him that again.)

// also giyuu, the dense bastard, only figures it out later that night. and then proceeds to take any chance to tease sanemi with the nicknames.

"love, can you get me that?"

"i'm sorry, darling."

"baby, im sick :(("

"honey? wanna go out tonight?"

If Giyuu and Sanemi actually got together, who do you think falls first? Who confesses first? Do they keep it a secret or are they proud? We all know Sanemi is loud about his dislike of Giyuu. I personally think he probably deals with his crush by lashing out (I think I sent an ask about this once before.) I guarantee he has internalized homophobia. I just want to know your thoughts and what you think would happen because your unhinged posts seriously make my day.

Oh @psyencefaction

Sorry for the long wait!

I feel like Giyuu would be the first one to fall and this is because he's more in touch with his feelings than Sanemi. His fascination with Sanemi started after Sanemi's first Hashira meeting after he lashed out at Kagaya, the unrestrained display of emotions and his ability to express what he felt so clearly reminded him of Sabito, his first love. Then when he discovered that the source of Sanemi's anger was the death of his best friend/aniki Masachika, Giyuu felt a sense of solidarity. Sanemi on the other hand might be a bit weirded out by Giyuu because of his quiet nature and social awkwardness but after a few missions together he would begin to appreciate his strength of character, his skill, and straightforwardness, it also helps that Giyuu is pretty.

I fuck with Sanemi having internalized homophobia especially with his background growing up in the slums of the city where Westernization and Western values had already taken hold of the population and I'm sure he would have gotten flak for his feminine-looking face and his role as the second mom of the family, especially from Kyogo.

Speaking of, Kyogo would also be another reason Sanemi wouldn't want to act on his feelings because growing up as a gayby under the thumb of an abusive father (the first man in his life) would damage his future relationships with men. It could even be the reason Sanemi is so anti-authority and why he projects this aggressive, hypermasculine image which coupled with his size serves not only as a means of protecting himself from getting hurt but also a means to drive people, especially men, away and Giyuu is no exception. This could also be the reason why his friendship with Obanai works so well because Obanai is not threatening physically, and he has a subdued personality compared to the one of someone like say Uzui.

Sanemi would develop a sort of fascination with Giyuu because of his unusually chill and quiet nature, which would develop into full-blown feelings that would creep up on him. Along with Giyuu's positive qualities and his quiet, chill nature, he's also non-threatening; he's not loud, violent, or portrays any other 'toxic' masculine traits that would trigger Sanemi's fight-or-fight response or remind him of his dad. So to curb this growing desire, he lashes out as Giyuu which serves not just as a way to drive the other man away but also as a way to satisfy his confirmation bias that Giyuu is just as toxic as all the other men he's known in his life when Giyuu eventually lashes out.

But my man Giyuu ain't like that. He's level-headed, steadfast, calm, sweet, and unbelievably kind if not a little bit dense. After he learns of Sanemi's love for ohagi to Sanemi's embarrassment, I bet he'd be at Sanemi's estate gate every morning with a package of ohagi, like Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) did for him, but he doesn't realize its significance and what it means to Sanemi. Ohagi means love, comfort, care, and safety, and Sanemi's regular consumption symbolizes his inner desire to be taken care of.

At first, Sanemi ignores Giyuu's attempts but Giyuu with Tanjiro's encouragement wound persists. Imagine him following Sanemi around with the ohagi gift until Sanemi finally snaps and confronts Giyuu, ready to square up for making fun of him.

Giyuu in an amazing stroke of wisdom would explain to Sanemi that he wasn't and would never make fun of him which would lead to the big confession telling him that he wants to make ohagi for Sanemi forever and stuff. Sanemi would be stunned into silence as his emotional walls begin crumbling down because Giyuu is essentially communicating his desire to take care of Sanemi along with the promise that he would never hurt him and that he would always be safe. Giyuu would tentatively move closer and closer until he was so close that their noses were practically touching, he'll look into Sanemi's eyes asking for permission, and after a small nod from the other man would press his lips against Sanemi's in a passionate kiss.

Their relationship would be gradual because of their demon-slaying duties with only a few secret makeout sessions here and there. The first time they have sex would be a big deal for Sanemi not just because it puts him in a vulnerable position but because he's surprised at how soft Giyuu is with him. Sanemi is used to being treated roughly, by others and especially by himself but never has he been treated with such...care. Not by anyone, not even his mom, and here's Giyuu treating him like he was made of glass. Even though he was physically bigger than Giyuu at that moment he felt small but in a good way and most of all, he felt safe. The overwhelming emotions will make him shed tears that'd make Giyuu worried at first but touched after reassurance from Sanemi. Their lovemaking would be sweet and passionate as they explore each other's bodies.

I love to focus on Sanemi's POV not just because I'm a Nemi-hoe but also because I'm not worried about Giyuu being taken care of. Sanemi is a caretaker by nature so him doting on Giyuu is an undisputed given, the main work is him letting others take care of him. I'd like to think of Sanemi making Giyuu meals, always asking if he's eaten and inviting him to his house for meals. Their relationship would be healing for both of them as Giyuu gets to be a protector of sorts and Sanemi gets to be the protected...of sorts.

Anyway, I think their relationship would be an open secret because let's be real people especially the other Hashira would notice that their arguments have reduced and Obanai has even seen Sanemi smile at Giyuu much to his confusion. The main tea would be spilled by the Kakushi who would see Giyuu leave Sanemi's residence in the early hours of the morning, the both of them eating together with Sanemi lovingly wiping crumbs from Giyuu's face with a shockingly soft expression on his face and on one occasion accidentally heard moans coming from Giyuu's bedroom window when they came to deliver dinner.

Maybe Genya would come over to Sanemi's residence for the usual notice-me-aniki visit and stumble upon Sanemi sleeping with his head in Giyuu's lap. Giyuu would notice him, put a finger to his lips, and smile softly at Genya's shocked expression. He would back out of the house slowly so as not to wake Sanemi 50-parts shocked but 50 parts touched that his Aniki had someone and Sanemi looked so...peaceful. He can come to beg for Aniki crumbs another time.

I made extra content using the Gakuen! Here they slept together after a night patrolling the school, their relationship was found out the next morning while the teachers were cleaning the staff room.

sorry it took so long, I hope you like it! 😖

SPIDER-MAN FANFIC ON AO3

Hi! I'm a 15 year old ff written and this is my fic:

a mix of universe-616 and MCU spidey

a long fic, since the spider bite through a lot of years, like, I'll make it go through the 3 movies and more!!

a lot of platonic team red, vigilante Spidey and him being friends with everyone

anti iron dad and Tony stark as a whole

very focused on platonic relationships and humor

a lot of bonding with the AcaDec team

I'll also add Gwen Stacy, Mary Jane, Harry Osborn and the FF

it'll have slight Liz Allan x Peter Parker but it won't go anywhere

It WILL have Spideytorch!! But it won't happen until we go through the blip, where the FF will appear and we'll see some of them. Then when they win the war Spidey and torch will meet and it'll begin!

I'm very anti shield and you'll see a lot of that if I can

It won't have ANY smut. Sorry guys but I'm aroace and I'm sex repulsed :(

It will have a lot of Peter acts like a spider and vigilante things (so illegal stuff)

Btw any suggestions or ideas are welcome! If you want today know more about the ideas I have just ask!!! (I will put a spoiler alert bcs I'm shit at that) :D

Unhinged thinks

What if Sanemi is extra harsh on Tanjiro because he's jealous?

Sanemi's been trying to get Giyuu to fuck open up to him for so long and out of nowhere comes this scrub who somehow transformed Giyuu from a decorative object to a living, breathing human being who'll defend him without hesitation and was even ready to commit seppuku for him.

He's been playing the Trial Version of BefriendGiyuu while Tanjiro got access to the entire Game of the Year/Remastered/Director's Cut/21st Anniversary Water Breathing Collection complete with access to:

Giyuu's crib.

His past.

And the Buddy, Buddy Restaurant Hangout side quest.

He even unlocked the steam-0%-of-players Giyuu-san Bath Cutscene AND the Simmered Salmon with Daikon Invitation Achievement!

Sanemi's absolutely choking with envy like me when I see bastards pass that Stardew Valley Ginger Island cave, Simon-says minigame on the first try.

It's the same for Obanai too! I bet he cried in his bedroom after reading Mitsuri's letter.

Tanjiro hooked both their hoes easy! He came out the womb with testingcheats set to TRUE and used stats.set_skill_level Major_Charisma 10 to unlock the 'Best Friends' relationship level with Giyuu, Tengen, Muichiro and Mitsuri while Sanemi and Obanai are still at 'Acquaintances' playing on console against a PC blessed with an NVIDIA GTX graphics card and a 100gb CC folder.

It's gotta be painful knowing a literal child's got more rizz stats than you grown-ass men! Just look at the switch-up on both of them when Muichiro mentioned Tanjiro. The beef they have with him is real! 😂

Marinated for months in a bucket of brine, cooked well done, seasoned salt-bae-style with lots of seethe and glazed with a generous amount of thick, bitter sauce made from cold, lonely nights and bitchless tears.

For Sanemi, his own beef comes with a two-for-one promo because he had to deal with the little shit embarrassing him at the Hashira meeting in front of Giyuu, snatching up Genya and talking back to him!

It's no wonder he was out for blood, from his POV Tanjiro's a nosy, homewrecker who stole his brother AND his man!

Nah, Sanemi ain't gonna let that slide. My man grew up in the trenches so you know he's one of those messy, catch-me-outside bitches. I can tell just from this foul, 'seriously-fuck-you', backhanded punch he dished out here after he realized Tanjiro was tanking his swings 😭😭

We stan a petty Queen! 🙌🏼

I have a guilty pleasure: I like fics where the FF are metaphorically breathing down Spidey's neck because they think he's older than Johnny.

its always so funny to see peter torn between "yay someone sees me as an adult! :D" and "oh no someone sees me as as adult :("

Unhinged analysis

Why is Sanemi so aggro? (Part 2)

This section is mostly from a class/economic standpoint and doesn't really focus on the demon attack on his family. It is also not only based on my little understanding based on the research I did about poverty and class in Edo/Late Meiji Japan but also based on my experiences as someone who grew up poverty-er-adjacent.

This blog here has an article that does a deep dive into Sanemi based on Japanese culture and history. Their work was what inspired me to do a deeper dive into Sanemi's poor backgoround. It's in Japanese but the translations are so worth it, and they have writeups on other characters!

Now lets get to it, this is post is going to be very long and very sappy, be warned.

His Background

We all know that Sanemi grew up poor, but it's poor in a way that's different from the other characters. We can attribute Gyomei's poverty to his religious faith in a way, Tanjiro and Muichiro are more modest than actually poor - at least they own their houses. The Shinazugawas had a shitty landlord whose son made fun of them for being 'the poor people with too many kids', they lived in these rundown, face-to-face, the-neighbors-know-all-your-business row houses.

Sanemi grew up in the slums with a population of citizens who were essentially 'left behind' during the rise of urbanization and industrialization. These citizens not only had to deal with characterizations that portray them as being ignorant, uneducated, boorish, dirty, aggressive, mannerless and ignorant, but also with being preyed upon by greedy landlords, merchants and businessmen. The government weren't of much help either because they would rather put in efforts into removing them as far as possible from the modern cities, away from the eyes of foreigners.

In my experience, slum dwellers rarely if ever rise above their station in life. Their lack of education and exposure prevents them from making a better life for themselves and even if they do move to the city, they are stuck doing menial or manual labor jobs with shitty pay. They spend their entire lives in perpetual poverty no matter how hard they work and how many jobs they take because they're ultimately fighting a system that has not only abandoned them but also creates policies that prevent them from moving higher in life.

Due to these frustrations, a lot of them take up gambling and drinking alcohol to cope with their sorrows. Frustrations with the system and with their situations lead to a lot of them taking up gambling and developing alcoholism to cope. There is also high rate of violence among them, especially domestic violence as heads of households who were usually the ones to go out into the world and deal with the discrimination and struggles while trying to pursue low class jobs would take out their anger on their wives and ultimately children. The children who grow up in this environment, where violence is all they know would eventually go on to become abusers themselves when they start families of their own, that is, if they don't die of illness or are killed before that.

You can read more about it here, here, here, here and here.

We can see that with Sanemi's dad, the piece of shit who took out all his anger and frustrations on his wife and children before ultimately becoming a victim of violence himself.

After his death, we see Sanemi having to take up the responsibility of taking care of the family as was culturally expected of the firstborn and the oldest boy - similar to Tanjiro. When Sanemi's dad died, he had to take up a job to take care of the family. In the scene where he talks with Genya about their dad's death and their promise to take care of their mother and siblings, we can see that Sanemi is pulling a rickshaw.

Rickshaw pullers were among the lowest classes of manual labor, they were referred to sometimes as 'Human horses' and while they were mostly known for transporting people, they were also hired by merchants and regular people to transport goods as well. We're not told of the work his mother did before she turned into a demon, but she might have been a domestic worker or a waitress of some sort. It's not hard to imagine that there were times when the kids had to go hungry.

So what's the point of all this story? Well because children who come from these backgrounds are not only often violent and aggressive in their language, conduct and personality but even if they do manage to make it to adulthood and by some miracle manage to break through the class barrier they often come out of the other side with a MASSIVE inferiority complex.

And our dear boy Sanemi has one, big time.

Now that we've talked about his background, let's talk about how all this contributes to his....

Relationships

In the fandom, the main complaints about Sanemi is his behavior towards Giyuu, Tanjiro, the demon slayer trainees and Genya, so I'm going to focus on just these.

Giyuu

Like I've mentioned before @roseameilatempest already posted a great write-up about Sanemi and his complicated relationship with Giyuu, so I'm just adding to it.

The two main things that create friction in their relationship, aside from Giyuu's inability to communicate are Sanemi's low self-esteem and his aggressive personality. The low self-esteem really showed itself when he questioned Giyuu at the Hashira meeting about his 'I'm not like you guys attitude'.

In this scene he asks

Which is a really interesting question because of all the Hashiras he's the only one who voices this sentiment. Obanai just talks about Giyuu wanting to get ahead, Shinobu just asks him to explain himself, Muichiro doesn't really care, but there's the thing about being the baby of the group so he may not want to butt-in to the 'adult' matters. Gyomei is praying.

Sanemi's the only one who stands up and confronts Giyuu about the matter but given his background as previously discussed it's almost as if he's asking "Are you looking down on me?".

From the little we know of Giyuu's backstory, he didn't grow up in poverty. After his family died, he went to go live with relatives before making the decision to leave and join the corps. He has fair skin and soft looking features in contrast to Sanemi's rough, scarred ones. He has slim, delicate-looking hands with piano-playing fingers compared to Sanemi large, knobby, rough-looking hands with early-onset-arthritis-ass fingers.

Even his conduct has a certain air of class to it. So when Giyuu says stuff like 'I'm not like other girls-I mean Hashira', the inferiority complex part of Sanemi is triggered, and he takes it as an attack on him thinking that Giyuu is looking down on him because of his poor background and his class.

But Sanemi deep down cares, even if he doesn't realize it. Instead of dismissing Giyuu as just being a dick, he tries to get an answer, an explanation, but because of his rough way of speaking and his aggressive personality it comes out confrontational. He doesn't know how to express himself in a non-aggressive way because nobody ever taught him how.

Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤)

Ah yes, Sanemi's BFF. I'm honestly surprised that some people don't understand why Sanemi does not vibe with Tanjiro. Tanjiro embarrassed him in their first meeting, only to escape the consequences for his actions because of the Master's benevolence. He questioned his worth as a Hashira which, as mentioned in the previous post, is the core of Sanemi's identity.

In their second encounter, Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) talked back to him. Now, despite all the wacky and interesting characters, the fancy mods to their uniform with the haoris and stuff, the Demon Slayers Corps are still a military organization. They have a hierarchy, they have rules and punishments for those who break them and within the context of the military and cultural values: You don't talk back to your superiors, you don't disrespect them and you most certainly don't embarrass them no matter how in the right you feel you are. It's not fair, it just is. Some superiors may tolerate it like Tengen, Giyuu, Mitsuri and Shinobu but others, like Sanemi, Gyomei, Obanai and even Muichiro will not.

I mean, even Mitsuri complained about Genya's behavior when she first met him, even though his actions were because of him being shy.

The first time Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) disrespected Sanemi, he was on neutral ground, the Master's mansion. Kagaya is a saint, so he understood Tanjiro's actions, but remember he also chided Tanjiro a bit, even if it was in a soft manner. Now in this second encounter, He's in Sanemi's house, in his domain, and you can't come about here disrespecting your senior in their own house. And If you do, be prepared to face the consequences.

Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) then embarrassed Sanemi again by (rightfully) calling him out on his shitty behavior towards Genya, in public, in front of his other subordinates. He then proceeds to not only block Sanemi's punch but to counter it with an embarrassing kick to the neck, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE SCRUBS! Like what? In some organizations, you could be penalized and immediately kicked out, but like I said, Kagaya is a saint.

That's why Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) was given the reprimand and Sanemi wasn't. Because he was in the wrong.

The concept may seem foreign to people who grew up in the west, but for those of us from home countries that have rigid power and class structures, we know this pain all too well.

That's why you talk and complain about your superiors BEHIND their backs, like Zenitsu does.

I swear, Zenitsu is probably the realest character in the series, I love him so much 😂.

Then in the last encounter they had, Tanjiro embarrassed Sanemi again, but this time it's worse because he did it RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIS CRUSH!

Your senior's business is not your business, if you see them fighting, it's best just to leave them alone and pray it's the one you hate that gets his ass kicked.

So here's Sanemi trying to communicate with his crush, and he's about to get to the part where they get to put their hands on each other ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Then Tanjiro comes up and gets between them, ignoring the restraining order and then asking if they were fighting over ohagi.

He then reveals Sanemi's biggest secret: That he's gay-I-mean-er likes ohagi. Neither Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) nor Giyuu see any problem with this because soft boys but for a tough, scary man like Sanemi this is a problem. He's a man, he shouldn't be taking sweets! (which is like a real thing in Japan, so i learned. You can read about it here, here, here and here), also Sanemi loves ohagi becuase his mom used to make it; men shouldn't be thinking about their mommies! Men should be tough and only eat manly things like raw bull testicles and cement!

Then Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤) drives the knife even further by asking him about his ohagi preferences, while Giyuu (who unknown to Sanemi is glad to have found an opportunity to rizz him up) asks him to confirm but in Sanemi's mind he thinks Giyuu is making fun of him too.

So Tanjiro has, so far, called him a shitty Hashira, a shitty brother, and now a shitty man. All he wanted to do was smash and now he's getting pressed by a 16 year old. So yea, our boy is going to react in the only way he knows how - by giving Tanjiro a swift clock to the jaw.

At this point, you've gotta pity Sanemi, he's the real victim in this relationship. But let's move on.

The Trainees

This is another complaint that also confuses me because the answer is so obvious. Why is Sanemi hard on the trainees?

Because Sanemi's training is Infinite Strikes! Because his training is supposed to be hard! Because they're at war! Because Muzan might be coming soon! Because this is a military training! Because the Hashiras are basically Drill Sergeants! Because Sanemi says fuck you!

But seriously, I don't understand why Sanemi and Obanai are getting hate for their training methods when Tengen's was just as harsh, Mitsuri was basically ending family bloodlines, Muichiro deadass was about to sashimi someone's child.

And Gyomei? Gyomei's training basically qualifies as torture by the Geneva convention laws. You see these guys below? These boys are all dead! Dead, i tell you! You can't convince me otherwise!

Even Inosuke died!

The training is meant to be harsh because it's not just the trainees lives at stake, it's the people of Japan, it's the lives of their friends, families and loved ones. The Hashiras know this and Sanemi whose whole life revolves around being a demon slayer and killer, especially knows this.

He and Obanai don't have the luxury of sending the junior slayers back for their protection like they did in the mansion. Like we saw in the last episode of the season, Muzan came after everyone not just the Hashira. Despite his rough and harsh exterior, Sanemi actually cares about his colleagues and his subordinates and he doesn't want them to die needlessly. If that means he has to be the 'bad' Hashira, then that's fine with him.

Genya

There's no justification for the shit he pulled trying to poke Genya's eyes out. I've made like two posts regarding this before about how his actions were not only stupid but will ultimately be pointless because Genya is amazing!

Aside from wanting to keep Genya safe (whatever that means), I think one of the reasons Sanemi doesn't want to come in contact with Genya is because when he's around Genya he's reminded of the past and trauma that he's trying to repress. I don't think it was a random choice that older Genya is dressed in a way almost similar to baby Genya. So everytime Sanemi sees him, despite Genya's size and the awesome things he's done, all he can see is that little boy that he almost failed to protect, that called him a monster, that rejected him and seeing that reopens that old core wound. That he's a monster.

Sanemi isn't ready to face all that, so with the little understanding of his own emotions and the trappings of toxic masculinity, he pushes Genya away becuase doing so is way, way, way easier than talking to his brother. It's easier than revealing to Genya that Genya's words did hurt him, that he failed to protect their mom and siblings and that maybe Genya is right, he is a monster, that even though he saved Genya it doesn't change the fact that he used his very hands to kill the only person that loved and protected them in this world.

I think a lot of people really underestimate the gravity of what baby Sanemi did. Tanjiro couldn't kill Nezuko and I'm sure he himself would've rather died than raise a hand to his loved ones but Tanjiro was lucky in a sick way because Nezuko was not only the only survivor but encountered Giyuu who who gave him the opportunity to save Nezuko, essentially giving her a second life. Sanemi never had that chance. In order to protect his brother, he had to kill his beloved mother, and you can just imagine the amount of damage that can do to a child's psyche.

I read a comment on Youtube that said this was probably the reason why Sanemi was so feverently against the Master's defence of Nezuko and that when Nezuko rejected his blood, his whole worldview must have shattered because if Nezuko was able to overcome her demonic urges and still maintain her sanity, why couldn't his beloved mother?

But you might ask, how come Genya seems fine? Well, he wasn't at first, he was basically Sanemi 2.0 but he was able to make peace with himself, escape the trappings of toxic masculinity and the violence that they were raised in. Instead of bottling up his emotions, he wants to reach out, to apologize for his behavior, to mend their brotherhood because no matter how Sanemi is now, no matter how many times he tells him to get lost, no matter the harsh words he throws at him, to Genya he'll always be his Aniki.

The same Aniki who's been looking out for him, the same Aniki that sought him out and comforted him after he punched the landlord's shitty son, the same Aniki who gave him a piggyback ride despite them practically being the same height just to make Genya feel happy and loved, the same Aniki who let out that brilliant laugh after they made the promise to protect their family as he pulled the Rickshaw to make some money for the family, the same Aniki who is the sweetest, kindest person in the whole world.

While we see the rough, scarred, aggressive and scary Sanemi, Genya only sees this:

I'm sure a lot of us know what it's like to be angry, to lash out, to push people away and how difficult it is go through life in a world that doesn't care about you or your trauma. We know what it's like to be left behind and forgotten. We wander aimlessly through life hurting with a feeling of emptiness and we don't even know why. Some of us overcome, some of us don't. We just make do with the tools and little resources we have and Sanemi is a painful reminder of that.

In Conclusion, Sanemi is a complex character. He's not all star good, he's a dick, some of his actions are straightup unhinged, but that's what makes him human. He's not perfect, and for us to appreciate this character we have to accept him in all his wild, raging, scarred, petty-ass, little-brother-eye-poking, women's-size-7-feet-having, ohagi-loving glory.

I'm told the old Romita era comics made a number of failed attempts to advance Gwen, and one of them involved taking some of MJ's traits and giving them to Gwen. After Gwen passed away, Gwen then started to be romanticized because she was dead. Did Gwen ever have a personality unique to her or was she always just MJ-lite?

Well... Gwen came first.

The traits she adopted from MJ (at Stan Lee's request) were mostly cool-kid jargon and fashion sense, which are things it makes sense for friends to pick up from each other. They even manage to play it off as cute in-universe characterization.

But they act and think very differently! If anything... MJ was Gwen-lite. Gwen at least got some thought bubbles. MJ started as just eccentric, hot, and self-centered because--well--it was funny.

They have separate lives. Gwen comes from an upper-class household with a cop for a dad and comes off as preppy and sometimes entitled. MJ lives with a working-class aunt and acts more alt-culture liberal but usually isn't on anyone's side but her own. Gwen is getting a scientific degree alongside Peter. MJ is following a long-shot dream of making it big by taking classes at community college. Gwen is Ditko flavored, MJ is Romita flavored.

Gwen is direct and confrontational where MJ is sarcastic and evasive. Gwen will insult someone she likes to get their attention while MJ will flatter people she dislikes just for kicks. Gwen has an investigative bent where MJ has a minding-my-own-damn-business field. Gwen checks in on friends' mental health, angry-cries fairly easily, and asks for help when she needs it. MJ would rather die than have an Unauthorized Feeling.

Gwen is fiercely loyal and cares a lot about things being Fair; she'll get in a stranger's face over something MJ would laugh off. MJ is now known as a combat pragmatist who can hold her own against supervillains, but people forget that Gwen would come at people with her BARE HANDS when she got mad. Just like Peter<3

"boring good girl vs cool bad girl" is the flattest way to read the girls' characterization and I'm sad it's reduced to that in people's minds. I say everything in this post as a huge 616 MJ apologist: Gwen wasn't left behind because she was the two-dimensional one.

fic fixing update

so this may sound insane... But my grandma died so I was a little bit preoccupied with it and I didn't finish correcting/adding more chapters... Sorry guys, I don't think I'll be able to do it this week either bcs I have some school things to see.

The fic is: the chaos of Peter's life and everyone discovering it, on ao3

important work I did yesterday

*cw: this theory deals with child sexual abuse and has mentions of suicidal ideation and eating disorders.

*If you or anyone you know is going through this, you can find resources here, here and here as well as a list of international hotlines.

Obanai is probably the second most hated character in the fandom, and just like Sanemi, he’s one of the most misunderstood. I think the hate he gets from the fandom is unwarranted; he’s accused of being a dick, a horrible person, a simp and a character who only exists to be Mitsuri’s love interest. All of which is unfair, sure he’s prickly and unapproachable, but he’s not as bad as the fandom makes him out to be.

So, in my quest to draft a defense for our favorite snek boy, I reread his backstory and in doing so, I realized something sad

Unhinged theory

Obanai is a sexual abuse survivor

Let me explain:

Obanai’s backstory and aspects of his character mirrors that of someone who’s been through sexual trauma. The evidence I'm going to present is a combination of my own knowledge about these matters and information I got from forums and websites for male survivors of sexual abuse. So let's examine them...um spoilers

The snake demon

I believe that the snake demon is a metaphor for a sexual predator. Her inclusion in the family could also be a metaphor for how these predators insert themselves into family units-or most of the time are family members themselves-and abuse the children for years and even generations. Obanai's relatives sacrificing their babies to her could signify the real life actions of families who are unaware or, turn a blind eye to, or sometimes actively participate in the abuse of their children.

The sacrifice in exchange for wealth speaks of how families in real life ignore the abuse of their children to maintain the wealth and status they obtain from being related to and associated with the abuser.

Even her decision to wait, ordering the cutting of his mouth so he would look like her, could be interpreted as her 'grooming' him in a sense.

Even her design has a certain sexual, predatory aspect to it that's different from the other demons.

His relatives

Obanai describes his family members as being 'disgustingly' affectionate and bringing him lots of 'greasy' food that made him sick. Food in media is often used to depict love, affection, connection and sex, and Demon Slayer is no different.

There are plenty of instances where food and the giving of food has been used to denote friendship (Tanjiro giving Zenitsu, Inosuke and Genya meals in an attempt to bond with them), connection (Giyuu wanting to give Sanemi ohagi), love (Tanjiro's love of cooking and the satisfaction he shows when his meals are enjoyed by others) and pleasure (Mitsuri's large appetite). I'll make a post about this later.

With this context, we can interpret their bringing of rich foods, their overbearing attention and affections as them objectifying and even being sexually inappropriate with him.

The sexual abuse

Non-physical.

The first instance of abuse is non-physical, but that doesn't make it any less important. Being constantly visited by the snake demon in his room at night, Obanai described his feelings of terror, being paralyzed and watched. His body would break out in a sweat, and he would be unable to fall asleep.

His descriptions of the experience and his body's reaction to it reminded me of some survivors' stories I read, where they talked about how in the initial stages of the abuse or when the abuser was first introduced into their lives, their abuser would give them unwanted attention, would stare at them in a way that felt creepy, gross and wrong.

Some had their abusers come in to their rooms, maybe under the guise of 'checking in on them'. They described feeling terrified, freezing up with the hopes that the attacker would leave. Some would take measures such as sleeping with the door locked or with a heavy object against it, sleeping with a sibling or parent, sleeping in a hiding spot that the attacker knows nothing about or not sleeping at all.

Physical.

The specific age that the snake demon plans to 'eat' Obanai is never stated, but from what we've seen so far and in the sexual context, we can assume that she's waiting until he hits puberty. Some studies state that the average age of victims of female sex offenders usually falls around 14 years, but there are cases where the female predator waited until their victim reached sexual maturity before they carried out their abuse, like in the case of Mary Kay Letourneau. Here's a video that breaks down an interview she did before her death.

Obanai was 12 when he was dragged out of his cell to be subjected to what I believe is the first physical abuse. He had his mouth slit from ear to ear, with the blood collected and fed to her. The snake demon decided to have him live a little longer, which again, fits into my theory of her wanting to wait until he reached puberty.

Bodily violation, violence and blood are common allegories for sexual assault used in media and in Obanai's backstory we see it being used when his relatives drag him from his cell, literally pin him down, cut his mouth and feed his blood to the snake demon. The act of feeding on his blood could also be a metaphor for the snake demon sexually abusing him.

His escape and the resulting fallout

Obanai managed to escape, and although he was tracked down by the snake demon, he was saved by Shinjuro Kengoku before she could kill him. His cousin's response was to blame him for all that happened, asked why he ran away, and said that he should have 'allowed' the demon to eat him.

This could represent how some victims are rejected, ostracized and criticized for speaking out against their attacker, exposing the abuse to the public and getting help. Their families would say 'you should have just let it happen', 'you destroyed the family', 'why did you run away, tell people?' and place the blame on the victim.

Obanai's reaction

There are three aspects of his characterization that are similar to the common reactions noticed in adult survivors of sexual assault, especially male survivors.

His appearance.

His behavior.

His beliefs.

His appearance

Obanai has a small frame that he hides with his baggy uniform and haori. I can tell it's baggy compared to that of the other slayers because of the width of his pants vs the width of his lower legs. Desexualization or hypo-sexualization is a common response among some survivors of sexual trauma, this usually involves wearing clothes and taking measures to make themselves look 'unattractive'.

'But this side feels more comfortable for me, like the baggy clothes I wear, which hide my body, and the long sleeves which reach past my wrists. I promised myself no man would ever touch me again, and whether it was a moment of triumph, or a moment of defeat, I still don't know.'

'I'm thin, shy. I seem easy to dominate. I've grown a beard. That's helped a little. I dress in baggy clothes, covering as much of my skin as possible. That makes me feel safe.'

This not only helps regain a sense of control and power over their body but also serves as a protective measure against sexual advances so they don't get abused again.

In Obanai, given his history of receiving unwanted, suffocating and 'disgusting' attention from his female relatives, it would make sense that he would want to dress in a way that makes him unapproachable and hides his body from the opposite sex. We can see his attempts to desexualize himself in the picture below:

His behavior

'Iguro has difficulty with girls. Due to his experiences growing up, he was unable to conquer his fear and animosity. Plus, the firls who joined the Demon Slayer Corps often put on brave faces because of their sad backgrounds, so he felt sorry for them, making him uncomfortable in a different way.' - Taisho Whispers, official English translation.

'Iguro-san isn't good with women. Due to his upbringing he has a fear and disgust towards women. (I couldn't overcome it easily. The women who joined the Demon Slayer Corps have painful stories of determination. I felt sorry for them and I didn't get along with them in a way that was different from the way I got along with my family)' - Taisho Whispers, direct-sort-of-shitty translation via Google Translate.

Male survivors who were victims of childhood abuse by female perpetrators often talk about how the abuse greatly affected their relationships with women or lack thereof. Some going so far as to say that they became afraid of women, being around them and how sometimes being touched by women would trigger panic attacks and remind them of the trauma.

Here are some quotes posted in a thread on the Male Survivor forum. Full thread here.

'Once that happened, my genophobia became more intense. I couldn't ware short trousers in summer, could never go swimming, got paranoid if I touched a woman's arm or even brushed against one, would always stand at a distance from female friends, and would literally leave the room if anything explicit was discussed.'

'I have started to have strange, deep discomforting feelings as I remember some of the assaults and I have gotten to a place where touch from a woman makes my hair stand up, makes me nauseous, and gives me chills and feelings of dread.'

Obanai has similar responses when he finds himself in proximity to women. We're only told about it in the main manga, but it's shown in the Gakuen. I know the Gakuen takes place in an alternate universe, but aside from the events, the behaviors of the characters are based on their actual personalities in the main manga, so we can safely say the reactions he displays in the Gakuen is canon to his character.

His beliefs

Adult survivors of sexual abuse often struggle with feelings of guilt, rage, and shame. In the manga, Obanai talks about being held back by the decaying hands of his family members, which could represent the long-lasting effects of sexual abuse and how some survivors carry these burdens all through adulthood or throughout their lives.

There's also the thoughts about himself that echo the heartbreaking thoughts shared by some male survivors.

Guilt:

"As the member of a filthy family, I too was corrupt. My sins were deep, so I could not live a normal life"

Rage:

"With no other outlet, I turned all my rage on demons in a grudge of intense hatred. By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

Shame:

"Unless I die and come back in a different body in which this filthy blood does not flow, I have no right to be with you."

Suicidal ideation(mild):

"By risking my life for others, I felt as if I could in some way become a slightly better person."

"I want to die defeating Muzan." (He's the only character that I know of that outright says this.)

He also kind-of expresses his feelings of being weak during the fight with Muzan:

"I've accomplished less in this battle than anyone! I wish I could deliver a more effective attack."

While this quote isn't exactly definite, a feeling of being weak, or being 'less of a man' is also a common experience shared by male sexual assault survivors.

The scar and It's symbolism

The scar is a physical manifestation of the lifelong effect that sexual abuse has on its victims and the stigma it carries. For Obanai, it's not just a painful reminder of the trauma he suffered at the hands of his family, but also a reminder to him that he's like his attacker, the snake demon. The bandages he wraps around his mouth symbolizes not just his attempts to hide his trauma, but also his inability to talk about it due to shame and fear, which is unfortunately an all too common experience of male survivors.

Another struggle survivors often experience is with intimacy, romantic relationships and sex. For Obanai, I believe that this struggle is represented by his eating disorder. The link between food and sex is a well established belief in many cultures, people with large appetites can be seen as having equally high sex drives while people with small appetites have little or no sex drive.

As he grows older, his little appetite is basically him curbing his growing sexual desire, which he sees as ugly, like the scar on his mouth. But the thing is Obanai wants love, he wants to love and be loved, to be intimate with another person, but he feels he doesn't deserve it, after all he's filthy, shameful and probably a predator just like the snake demon. So he starves himself, suffering in silence with the belief that he was disgusting, that no one would ever love him, that he was destined to and deserved to be alone.

Then he met Mitsuri.

In Conclusion, Obanai is way more complex than the KnY fandom gives him credit for. This is a man that went through immense suffering, and it's really sad to see people hate on him because he isn't 'nice'.

Well, that's just how life is. Trauma doesn't exactly make nice people. We can't all be like Giyuu or Tanjiro(bestest boy ❤), a lot of us are like Obanai, Sanemi, and even Shinobu, a lot of us are angry, and why shouldn't we be?

...

*Phew, ok so this one has been in the drafts for a while because I was scared to post such a dark subject matter and also I needed to be really sure I wasn't just talking out of my ass but after rereading his backstory and analyzing aspects of his character, I'm more confident about this.