Y'know, It's Weird How The Egbert House Doesn't Have A Garage Or A Carport Or Anything. Surely A Paragon

Day 29 (41 in base 7) of re-writing my novel

Yeah today everyone remembers that, all the way back in Part One, Lozerief offhandedly said that Izi could render the Constitution of Zeneste completely void if he said so. I find this very amusing for several reasons.

The President is (effectively) the Emperor after she removes Iziser as Emperor.

If Iziser renders the Constitution void, the President and the two houses can write a new constitution which doesn't include the Emperor as a role, or any connection to the Hero of Life.

Furthermore, they can write the role of Vice President out entirely and hold special "elections" (mass voter fraud/suppression) and oust Lozerief, the only sane politician left, while she's isolated from the other two (three) Heroes.

This is a rather Orwellian (see 1984) take on how this will turn out, but President Sluwfa has to then convince the masses that a) this is what the Hero of Life would've wanted, and b) In Iziser, the rice farmer who became Emperor, was actually an enemy of the state the whole time. As a result, policing in Ir Nouzonif (both the city and the state) increases drastically, but (as you may already know from my previous posts,) many remain sympathetic to In Iziser, anyways.

Hey! I'm David Peterson, and a few years ago, I wrote a book called Create Your Own Secret Language. It's a book that introduces middle grade readers to codes, ciphers, and elementary language creation. The age range is like 10-14, but skews a little bit older, as the work gets pretty complicated pretty quick. I think 12-13 is the best age range.

Anyway, I decided to look at the Amazon page for it a bit ago, and it's rated fairly well (4.5 at the moment), but there are some 1 star reviews, and I'm always curious about those. Usually they're way off, or thought the book was going to be something different (e.g. "This book doesn't teach you a thing about computer coding!"), but every so often there's some truth in there. (Oh, one not 1 star but lower rated review said they gave it to their 2nd grader, but they found it too complicated. I appreciate a review like that, because I am not at all surprised—I think it is too complicated for a 2nd grader—and I think a review like that is much more effective than a simple 10+ age range on the book.) The first 1 star rating I came to, though, was this:

Now calling a completely mild description of a teenage girl who has a crush on another girl controversial is something I take exception to, but I don't want to pile on this person. Instead I wanted to share how this section came to be in the book.

The book is essentially divided into four parts. The first three parts deal with different ciphers or codes that become more complicated, while the last part describes elementary language creation. The first three sections are each built around a message that the reader can decode, but with language creation, the possibilities are too numerous and too complicated, so there isn't an example to decode, or anything. It would've been too difficult.

For what the messages to decode are about, though, I could do, potentially, anything, so at first I thought to tie them into a world of anthropomorphic animals (an ongoing series of battles between cats and mice), with messages that are being intercepted and decoded. My editor rejected that. Then I redid it so that each section had an individual story that had to do with some famous work of literature. My editor rejected that as well. He explained that it needed to be something that was relevant to kids of the target age range. I was kind of at a loss, for a bit, but then I thought of a story of kids sending secret messages about their uncle who eats too many onions. I shared that, my editor loved it, and I was like, all right. I can do this.

The tough part for me in coming up with mini-stories to plan these coded messages around was coming up with a reason for them to be secret. That's the whole point of a code/cipher: A message you want to be sure no one else but the intended recipient can read in case the message is intercepted. With the first one, two kids are poking gentle fun at a family member, so they want to be sure no one else can read what they're writing. For the last one, a boy is confessing to a diary, because he feels bad that he allowed his cat to escape, but no one knows he did it (he does find the cat again). For the other, I was trying to think of plausible message-sending scenarios for a preteen/teen, and I thought of how we used to write notes in, honestly, 4th and 5th grade, but I aged it up a bit, and decided to have a story about a girl writing a note to her friend because she has a crush on another girl, and wants her friend's opinion/help.

Here's where the point of sharing this comes in. As I had originally written it, the girl's note to her friend was not just telling her friend about her crush, it was also a coming out note, and she was concerned what her parents would react poorly.

Anyway, I sent that off with the rest of my draft, and I got a bunch of comments back on the whole draft (as expected), but my editor also commented on that story, in particular. Specifically, he noted that not every LGBTQ+ story has to be a coming out story, the part about potential friction between her and her parents because of it was a little heavy for the book, and, in general, not every coming out story has to be traumatic.

That was all he said, but I immediately recognized the, in hindsight, obvious truth of all three points, and I was completely embarrassed. I changed it immediately, so that the story beats are that it's a crush, she's not sure if it'll be reciprocated, and she's also very busy with school and band and feels like this will be adding even more busy-ness to her daily life as a student/teen. Then I apologized for making such a blunder. My editor was very good about it—after all, that's what drafts and editors are for—and that was a relief, but I'm still embarrassed that I didn't think of it first.

But, of course, this is not my lived experience, not being a member of the LGBTQ+ community. This is the very reason why you have sensitivity readers—to provide a vantage point you're blind to. In this case, I was very fortunate to have an editor who was thinking ahead, and I'm very grateful that he was there to catch it. That editor, by the way, is Justin Krasner.

One reason I wanted to share this, though, is that while it always is a bit of a difficult thing to speak up, because there might be a negative reaction, sometimes there is no pushback at all. Indeed, sometimes the one being called out is grateful, because we all have blindspots due to our own lived experiences. You can't live every life. For that reason, your own experience will end up being valuable to someone at some point in time for no other reason than that you lived it and they didn't. And, by the by, this is also true for the present, because the lives we've lived cause us to see what's going on right before our eyes in different lights.

Anyway, this is a story that wouldn't have come out otherwise, so I wanted to be sure to let everyone know that Justin Krasner ensured that my book was a better book. An editor's job is often silent and thankless, so on Thanksgiving, I wanted to say thank you, Justin. <3

Day 45 (1:21) of rewriting my novel

No piece of writing of mine would ever be complete without the 4-legged table theorem. So, I added it in today in the 1200 words I wrote. And I'm still not done with Part Three (but getting closer!)

Speaking of Part Three, I'm getting close two being done, I think. I have a couple gaps left to fill, but that's about it. I'm surprised I haven't managed to write the actually important last scene (that being, the meeting with Governor Bunthun.

I still feel bad about romanizing her name, but nobody (except people who read Cherokee in its romanized form) would figure out that it's pronounced [ˈbə̃.ˌθə̃] and romanized as bvthv. So, preying on the fact that English speakers (mostly) nasalize their vowels and <u> can represent the "strut" vowel, so [ˈbʌ̃n̪.ˌθə̃n] will have to do. It's close enough.

Meanwhile, outlining Part Four looms on the horizon, nebulous as it was before. I know how I want it to end, and the major points in between, but that's about it. Somehow, Part Five seems to be more fleshed-out in my mind than Part Four.

I still have to derive Modern North Zeneth, whose closest living relative is supposed to be Low Zeneth. It's derived from a northern dialect of Old High Zeneth that split away from Old High Zeneth about 800-600 years ago. Maybe then I'll have a better name for Bvthv, but it wouldn't make sense for Governor Luwbefê to call her anything other than Bvthv.

Character names are hard.

The Usual Suspects: @oldfashionedidiot @quillswriting

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Day 38 (1:11) of rewriting my novel

Ok today I gave in and started writing Part Three in reverse.

That's mostly because I know where Part Three is headed completely. I'm still debating how I want Part Four to go. I'm now anticipating (but can't predict) a Part Five. A sort-of last-ditch effort for the evil President Sluwfa.

I also wanted to write Lozerief again because she's more fun to write than most of my characters, I think. She's dark and brooding, but she's not evil by any stretch of the imagination. It's also fun to see her at her weakest: for a long time, she was regarded as the strongest Hero. I think it's fun to see her come crawling back to the people she hurt the most.

Hi y'all,

I've been working on IWH mostly in the background, but especially the main setting of the story: New Katla Khi.

Anyways, here's a cool conlang (Kját-ra Khí) translation of a scene in my story:

Yése, gjêw sa mèrnrún’ rwek ga? Yessei, is your daughter gone?

Gìnger tan’ sa rwéng… I feel for you…

rjě sêr ta-ra, I understand you.

San’ nweng da, You are hard-working

san’ vèr áp da. You are the witch.

Nrekkháp zásorn’ sêr, nga ga? You’re cursed by Zasor, right?

Nga tan’ sêr. I am not you.

Gjêw tan’ sêr, I have been you,

rwek san’ têr. you will be me

Nga-phâi sa-gjo jeśú, Your path is not easy

Dàk-phâi. but it is virtuous.

Gwók sêr wjék khjàk-na. You will err and move on many times.

Dàkmèr tan’ sêr, Zàkgrí tan’ sêr. I believe in you, and I love you.

I'll probably post a grammar for this conlang in a later post, because it's easily one of my most fleshed-out. I only have about 200 words, and my goal is to get to 2,000, before I'll call it "done."

write unpublishable things. it's good for you.

Y'all, I just got curious at one point, and I hope this isn't a repeat of a previous post. So, if you don't mind:

Wiktionary

orange - Wiktionary, the free dictionary

Wiktionary has a couple of recordings if you're curious about the difference/don't know linguistics and can't read IPA.

Follow-up question:

What words/phrases (if any) rhyme with orange?

This is a hotly-debated topic in the English language. I sincerely believe that in my dialect, no single word is a true-rhyme with orange that isn't also either a portmanteau or explicitly related to the word "orange." (E.g. blornge does not count for me, even though it does rhyme, because it is a portmanteau of blonde and orange.)

Reblogs are appreciated!

Day 27 (36 in base 7) of re-writing my novel

I started Part Three today. Progress still in progress.

Part Three will be particularly hard to write because of how loosey-goosey it is right now, but I'm nailing the plan down. At least the first several thousand words should be planned-out, for now. This part may be very long, like 30-40,000 words.

But it starts off in a particularly dark place. Spoilers ahead, for anyone who cares.

Part Three begins with Iziser reconsidering why he ever trusted Lozerief to begin with, and why she would turn on them. He initially believes its his fault. He also jogs a memory from being back in the only place he ever called "home," and he realizes Lozerief was fighting for him on the sidelines all the while. Why, now, would she go and take his magic?

But Lozerief comes around out of necessity in the end of Part Three. Will I use Lozerief to answer every question? Definitely not, there's still one more Part! And she doesn't have all the answers, only most of them. Including some of the biggest ones that she keeps hidden away from everyone...

I have to wonder (in a non-conspiratorial way) if not teaching phonics is also part of an effort to dismantle public schools and keep people dumb.

Because literacy was historically used as a tool to reinforce class divides. It still remains that way in many places.

I used to be mad about "whole language" reading approaches in theory but now I work with school-age kids and I am mad about it in practice.