I Love How It Took Him So Long To Think Of Literally Just Tugging It Out With His Hands Or Some Pliers

Sorry my posts haven't been as frequent or funny as usual. It's because I'm eating well, sleeping regularly, and exercising

Incase you didn’t know

AO3 IS BACK!!!

Fully agree with this

Reblog if you have used dude as a non gender specific term.

The king (Mo’s dad): That sound is so awful, it makes me want to kill someone but I can’t tell if it makes me want to commit suicide, homocide or both.

The trumptus. bwaaah

*panthea explodes*

He got caught because they took him clubbing???!!! Asdghfghdjggjfdlkg, that’s hilarious!

Back by popular demand. English Willy part 3

(Idk if I'll do another bc I feel like its run its course and unlike Scott Cawthon I would like to end my series on a high note! But to everyone who sent in asks or showed support or generally took part I love all of you and had so much fun with this. I might do more in future but I don't want part 4 to hang over me as something I HAVE to do)

My favorite part:

Mystique: loves her son but will drop kick other children.

Magneto: Does not love his kids (Pietro and Wanda) but will drop kick other children.

everything abt this is outdated but ykw. tag yourself anyway, i’m jean and fred

text ID under cut:

mom jeans (jean): 1) leader but not by choice 2) never forgets a birthday 3) gets away with things due to her reputation

mom jeans (jean): 1) leader but not by choice 2) never forgets a birthday 3) gets away with things due to her reputation

fuzzy elf (kurt): 1) tries to be hip with the kids (is a kid) 2) honorary catboy 3) fingerguns his way out of situations

:3 (kitty): 1) impulsive shopper 2) livetweets everything 3) says ‘omg’ and ‘ttyl’ outloud 4) bakes muffins for her friends! they are inedible!

skater boi (evan): 1) cool guy syndrome 😎 (undiagnosed adhd) 2) steals food off his friends' plates 3) PARKOUR!

e-girl blueprint (rogue): 1) hopeless romantic 2) only child AND middle child energy 3) knows the best thrifting spots

“””team leader””” (lance): 1) tries a lot, fails a lot 2) anger is default emotion 3) probably named his car betty or smth

actual team leader (pietro). 1) cool guy syndrome 😎 (unmedicated adhd) 2) causes problems on purpose 3) motivated by attention

toad (todd): 1) thinks he's just soo funny. well, he is. 2) hasn't showered in a month 3) stays out of drama but Will grab the popcorn

bombshell blonde (tabitha): 1) self-loathing vs superiority complex: fight! 2) flirts with friends 3) parties to avoid being alone with her thoughts

scarlet bitch (wanda): 1) hates authority figures 2) cuts her own hair. and clothes. 3) in a constant state of overstimulation 4) deserves to snap tbh

hey it’s (fred)!: 1) cries easily 2) would literally murder for friends 3) treats plushies like living creatures

professor clean (xavier): 1) “hello el gee bee tee que community" 2) adopts every child he sees 3) knows everything and yet nothing at all

grrrr (logan): 1) that sounds like a you problem." 2) acts like he hates kids but tacks their drawings to the fridge 3) believes that violence is the answer

weather report (ororo): 1) everyone's bisexual awakening 2) has high expectations for everyone, including herself 3) live laugh love 😊😊😊 or else

mr beast but like actually (hank): 1) god, i could really use a drink." *makes chamomile tea* 2) longs to be a smooth rock basking in the sun 3) gives unwarranted life lessons

another blue one (mystique): 1) #girlboss 2) “gay rights but only for me" 3) loves her son but will dropkick other children

magnum dong (magneto): 1) heterophobic 2) "you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair" 3) does not love his son AND will dropkick other children

If anything it should be the opposite because he was blonder before he started murdering all those kids and got their blood in his hair.

Edit: for clarification I meant that the hair colors should switch, and also that his hair color changed slightly because of the fact that at first it was fluffy, clean and he’d clearly used hair conditioner the last time he’d showered which was probably recently, but it was darker during the murder spree because it was bloody, greasy to the point where I’m pretty sure that it was slicked back with grease instead of hair gel and also just packed with dirt and filth in general.

do. do we all see that. please tell me we all see that they have different hair colors.

I’m reposting this so I can find it later and figure out what the titles should be.

i will never understand why more people in their 80s don't commit felonies. you reach that age and surely there's something illegal you always wanted to do but didn't bc Consequences

dammit, GO FORTH GRANNIES!!! rob an armored car! hold up that bank! tunnel your way into fort knox! what are they gonna do, sentence you to 20 years? good fuckin luck with that

I finally got to season two of 9-1-1 (I started like a year ago, maybe more but I keep forgetting to actually watch it), I’m only halfway through the first episode of the season and omfg Buck and Eddie already have such big crushes on each other that it hurts they’re taking too damn long to kiss and they only met in the episode I’m currently watching. I applaud you all for somehow withstanding like 6 entire seasons of this painfully drawn out homoerotic/homoromantic spiral of denial and doom.

Also I love Maddie, especially since it’s the next day and I’ve seen more episodes with her.

And I absolutely adore Christopher, he’s so cute I just wanna ruffle his hair. Someone needs to introduce this kid to some Ole Lund Kierkegaard books bc I just know they’d make him laugh so much he’d fall out of his seat and barely be able to breathe cause he’s laughing so hard.

Regulus: I went cavediving.

Sirius: ???

Regulus: I also tried to kill Mouldy-Voldy and as it turns out, the tattoos aren’t just for looking cool.

Sirius: I’m so proud of you. Wait what was that thing about the tattoos?

Regulus: As it turns out, they’re also for killing “traitors to the cause” or something.

Regulus: Anyways I got sepsis and was in a coma for like two weeks while the muggle doctors were trying to figure out how to fix everything.

Sirius: Oh, that’s where you’ve been? I thought you were just ignoring me. When did you get out of the hospital?

Regulus: About 20 minutes ago.

Sirius: Do you have a place to stay?

Regulus, who’s been standing in front of the door to Sirius and Remus’ flat for this entire conversation: No I was hoping to stay here? If you don’t mind?

Sirius, who’s been standing in the open door the whole time: Of course we don’t mind. Come in. Remus and I were just making some tea and biscuits, do you want some?

Regulus: Yes, please.

Sirius: You look… different. Hair cut?

Regulus: I lost an arm.

Sirius: I know. The hair cut thing was a farce. I just didn't want to be rude. But since you brought it up, what the hell happened to you?

@prompts-in-a-barrel