I Miss My Boyfriend (I Don’t Have One)

I miss my boyfriend (I don’t have one)

More Posts from 1sab4lla and Others

2 months ago

just rewatched challengers for the third time at midnight while eating a bowl of ice cream.. healing


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1 month ago

yikes. unstanning now. was okay with the cannibalism, wasn’t aware of the ‘being mean to nat’ part.

2 months ago
Let Me Jump THEM BONES PLEEEEASEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Let Me Jump THEM BONES PLEEEEASEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

let me jump THEM BONES PLEEEEASEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

3 weeks ago

sleaze ; patrick zweig

Sleaze ; Patrick Zweig

you never thought you'd hook up with a jock—especially not patrick fucking zweig. the audacity he had, prancing around like the epitome of testosterone and privilege. you hated everything about him. the mere sight of him strutting through the hallways with that infuriating smirk always set you on edge.

yet, here you were, his letterman jacket draped over their shoulders like a brand.

it started after school, when you were too high to care about the consequences of their actions. the intoxicating, earthy smell of weed still clung to your fingertips as you leaned against the graffiti-covered wall behind the gym. and patrick? he was there.

and somehow—god knows how—you ended up in his car.

the leather seats were cool against your skin, the smell of his cologne filling the small, stifling space. patrick sat stiffly in the driver’s seat, his usual smug confidence replaced with something quieter, more unsure. his hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turned white, and his eyes kept darting to you, like he thought you might bolt at any second.

“you should eat something,” he finally said, breaking the heavy silence. his voice was quiet, hesitant, like he wasn’t sure how you'd react. “i mean, not like, right now, but, you know. something. something that’s not… this.” he waved vaguely at them, at the evidence of your current state—the glassy eyes, the telltale haze of someone who’d stopped giving a shit for the day.

you'd only flashed an amused look. "..right." and nodded. he was being weird. you thought it was only for sex. caring wasn’t a good look on him. he huffed a reluctant laugh, running a hand through his tousled hair, mussing it from its usual perfection. his discomfort was obvious. he wasn't used to this—this intimacy that extended beyond physical touch.

"you always so high?" he asked, his voice quieter than usual. it wasn't judgement, not really. just an observation. a fact he couldn't ignore. "can't you function without it for a minute?"

"i mean, i could." you mused. the weight of your words struck him. he knew why. you knew why. you shrugged softly, staring out the window. "do you want me to leave?" you asked, your voice tinged with amusement.

his grip on the wheel tightened, his jaw clenching. he turned to look at you, really look at you. your carelessness. he shook his head, sighing deeply. “no. i don’t want you to leave.” his voice was quiet, a stark contrast to his usual cocky self. “and that’s the problem.”

"step-up from when you were kicking me out of your car." you scoffed. "patrick. we hook up, okay? you don't need to act like if you care. about my eating habits or the amount of weed i consume.” he would stop caring outside this car, anyway.

his knuckles were white from how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel. his jaw clenched, his usual demeanor faltering for a moment. he took a deep breath, his shoulders tensing as he forced himself to relax. when he spoke, his voice was low and rough, tinged with frustration.

"i'm not acting like i care," he said, his tone dripping with annoyance. "i do care. shocking, i know. but i do." he turned away from you, running a hand through his hair in agitation. his shoulders were tight, like he was bracing himself for a fight. "i'm not some heartless asshole. i have feelings, just like you do. i just don't show them often." there was a brief pause, his throat working as he struggled to force the words out. "not all of us can be as detached as you are."

"excuse me?" you scoffed. "are you trying to be self rightous right now? because you're not. i'm not a goddamn charity case. don't turn this on me."

he bristled, his jaw tensing. "i'm not trying to be self-righteous," he ground out. "and i’m not acting like you're a charity case." his voice took on a sharper edge, biting. "i just think you're better than this. getting high, screwing around, acting like nothing matters." he huffed, his grip on the steering wheel tightening even more. "i've seen you when you're sober. you're smart. you're better than this."

"oh, you've seen me?" you spat out. "that's rich. you haven't seen me outside this car."

"maybe i haven't, but i’d like to." his voice was surprisingly earnest, the sharpness giving way to something softer. he didn't look at you, his gaze fixed out the windshield, but the line of his jaw was tense. "i'd like to know the real you. the one who's not high off her ass, the one who's present in our conversations.”

there was a long moment of silence as his words hung in the air, stark and vulnerable in the closeness of the car. he kept his gaze fixed ahead, his tension palpable. finally, he spoke, his voice quieter this time. “this thing we have, it doesn’t have to be about sex, you know? maybe… i should take you on a date.”

“who are you and what have you done with patrick zweig?” you mused. he was rough, careless, and annoying. a blend of charm and intensity, as well as arrogance and impatience. praised for holding a racket and running across a tennis court.

he huffed out a laugh, his shoulders relaxing slightly. “trust me, i'm just as surprised as you are," he said, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. then his expression sobered a little. "but seriously. no sex, no weed. i mean it." he turned to look at you, his eyes meeting yours in that intense way of his.

“just… go on a date with me. get to know each other outside of this damn car."

you’d found out that day that he was stubbornly determined.


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2 weeks ago
Unpure ; Art Donaldson

unpure ; art donaldson

the moment you entered the chapel, art donaldson—perfect, revered, untouchable—momentarily unraveled. known as the pastor’s son and golden boy of a devout small town, he was adored, idolized, and expected to be without flaw. but you weren’t there for god, salvation, or belief. you were there for him. and there was something intoxicating about tempting someone so carefully constructed to be pure—something deliberate in your movements, in the way your skirt rode up, in the way you sat just within his line of sight. you knew he was watching, just as you knew he shouldn’t. yet the tension—the push and pull of guilt and desire—felt electric, and impossibly easy. maybe it was wrong, but it never felt like it. not with the way you looked at him.


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1 month ago

sweet ; tashi duncan

Sweet ; Tashi Duncan

the duncanator.

that was the nickname you’d heard throughout stanford that people would use to describe tashi duncan. fierce and ambitious, with a sharp competitive streak. but, really, tashi was just your friend. silly, and witty, with a top tier fashion sense, and who knew what places served a mean cappuccino.

you could see how some people would be confused with your friendship. she’d taken you under her wing after a group project assigned to you two and a couple other people. the other students were about to let you do the work, and she was not having that.

now, the two of you were seemingly inseparable. weekly sleepovers, study hangouts, shopping sprees. you name it.

but, eventually, you started seeing a shift in your friendship. and you knew she saw it too.

lingering touches, wisty glances across the room, smiles became more pronounced whenever the other spoke. the hangouts became more frequent, silly texts were sent and responded to in seconds. but why would tashi duncan be interested in you? she would’ve answered that question for you any day. you only had to ask.

but one night.

the two of you were in her dorm for your weekly sleepover (every friday night, at 7:30 pm sharp. she’d questioned you relentlessly the one time you arrived at 7:45. never again), sharing a bowl of popcorn alongside some chocolate bars. tashi had her arm around your shoulders, keeping you tucked in her side. casual, right?

she’s the man was playing, and she would let out a scoff every five seconds. “this movie is so stupid.” she murmured after a moment, her grip on your shoulders tightening for a second before letting it go. “what, you don’t think channing tatum’s cute?” you flashed an amused look.

a slight pause. “he’s.. okay. i guess.” her gaze flickered to the tv in front of you two, seemingly looking for any flaws she could see outright on the man displayed. “too bulky.” she stated bluntly after a moment, her thumb rubbing your shoulder softly. you laughed, shaking your head. “your standards are way too high, tash.” a playfully shove in response.

“i hate you.” she replied, an almost teasing tone lacing her voice as she gave your shoulder a gentle squeeze. “the feeling’s mutual.” you grinned, taking a candy bar and nibbling on it. “i doubt it.” she retorted, the words followed with a light laugh. she pulled you closer to her, resting her chin on top of your head.

tashi was completely comfortable with you this close to her, your head resting on her shoulder, and her arm around your own. it was as if the two of you were meant to be like this. “she looks nothing like her brother. everyone in this movie is either stupid or blind.” she huffed. “c’mon. this is peak cinema.” you teased, lightly taking hold on her chin and pinching it lightly.

oh.

her heart felt like it had stopped at your touch. her annoyed expression turned into a soft, almost amused one as she leaned into your touch. “i’d hardly call this peak. or even cinema, for that matter.” she murmured in response, lifting her hand to gently take yours from her chin, intertwining your fingers with her own. she brought your interlocked hands to her lap, her gaze still holding yours.

“not a fan of cheesy rom-coms?” you teased, keeping your hands intertwined. her eyes flickered over yours, and she hummed softly. “nah.” she rolled my eyes playfully. another pause. tashi almost looked in awe, as she looked you over. you enchanted her, and she knew you had her heart held securely in the palm of your hand.

“not when they’re as cheesy as this one.” she said, her gaze flicking around your face. a pause at your lips. “i mean..” she trailed off, snapping out of it as she met your gaze once again. “it’s just weird. the plot in itself. why is cps not at her mom’s door?” she scrunched her nose in distaste.

“good point.” you hummed, turning your attention back to the screen. her gaze flickered back to you once you weren’t looking, admiring your profile. “..hey.” she spoke up hesitantly, almost as if the word escaped against her will. you turned back to face her. “yeah, tash?” you tilted your head. her fingers tightened her grip on yours for a moment, and she opened her mouth, then closed it. you felt a smile grace your lips.

god, her heart almost ached.

her expression turned tender as she returned the smile, closing the distance very slightly. it was subtle, but you both noticed it. “i just..” she trailed off, her gaze piercing into yours. she bit her lip, her eyes slowly trailing down to your lips once again. “mhm?” your smile widened, and you inched closer just the slightest bit. she leaned closer, trying to capture your mouth with her own.

she let out a soft sigh at the feeling of your lips against hers. as if she had been waiting for this. yearning, almost. she let go of your hand, taking hold of your waist and tugging you onto her lap. she almost couldn't get enough of you, and her expression was tender as she kissed you, oh so gently.

she broke the kiss, shifting to rest her forehead against yours as she breathed heavily. her hand traced gentle lines on the skin of your thighs, and a small, almost shy, smile tugged at the corners of her lips. she let out a soft laugh, looking down at where you were perched onto her lap, and let her free hand go up to lightly rest under your chin, making you look up at her. her thumb lightly swept across your bottom lip, and her gaze was just as tender as her touch.

tashi said nothing for a moment, her gaze just lingering on you, taking you in. “how long?” you questioned, smiling at her touch. a rare flush filled her cheeks, her expression turning into an almost shy one as she stared down at you. she let out an amused laugh under her breath, her voice quiet and almost embarrassed when she responded, “..a while.”

you laughed along with her, pressing another kiss to her nose. “me too.” you smiled, feeling your heart flutter. “you’re a good kisser.” you admitted, fighting back a giggle. she rolled her eyes playfully, tugging on a strand of your hair lightly. “so are you.” she hummed, and felt herself smile as you pressed a kiss to her nose.

if anyone thought the two of you were inseparable before, now it was way worse. whenever you roamed the hallways, she was right by your side, her hand taking hold of yours. tennis matches? you were there, front row with a stupid t-shirt that said ‘i support the duncanator!’ in bright red lettering. weekly sleepovers were now every two days.

and honestly? she couldn't be happier. she had all that could ever want, with you.


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1 week ago
Spiderman!art X Reader — MDNI
Spiderman!art X Reader — MDNI
Spiderman!art X Reader — MDNI

spiderman!art x reader — MDNI

Spiderman!art X Reader — MDNI

Who.. when you first found out, he tried to explain himself. extending his hands towards you but accidentally shooting a web, barley missing you. his eyes wide, “I—okay, you..you got me. I’m Spider-Man.” And you freaked out.

Who.. loves sneaking into your room by climbing your wall and knocking on your window, you had completely forgotten he was Spider-Man. You look out the window to see him stuck on the wall. “How—how the hell are you doing that? Art.” You gasped, he laughed right in your face. “you okay? did you already forget?”

Who.. whenever he comes back from a battle, he’s right at the window and as soon as you open, he gives you the biggest hug ever before he removes his mask. Scratches surrounding his face and his body. You quickly take care of those and the night ends with cuddles and sweet kisses.

Spiderman!art X Reader — MDNI

Who.. wishes his suit wasn’t so hard to take off when you both were about to get intimate, you, legs spread all wet and ready for him but he’s busy fumbling with his suit, trying to take his leg out. He sighed in relief when he’s finally out of it, without a warning, slamming into you with desperation. He really needed this after all those stressful fights.

Who.. webs your hands against the bedpost before continuing to eat you out, his face covered in your fluids. All you could do is squirm and moan as he continued his restless assault on your heat.

Spiderman!art X Reader — MDNI
2 months ago

I don’t wanna be serving cunt anymore I don’t wanna eat and left no crumbs I don’t wanna be gagged I just wanna be normal and basic omg

1 month ago

“god forbid a girl get huzz” - 2

“god Forbid A Girl Get Huzz” - 2

you applied your lipliner smoothly, double checking your appearance in the mirror. you were backstage on the tonight show, excited, admittedly, but a tad bit nervous.

“god Forbid A Girl Get Huzz” - 2

“god Forbid A Girl Get Huzz” - 2
“god Forbid A Girl Get Huzz” - 2

you set your phone down, smoothing your hair down anxiously, before a knock on your dressing room rang through your head. “you ready?” a lady asked kindly, carrying a clipboard. you nodded, flashing her a soft smile before standing up, smoothing out your dress, before following her towards the main stage. you waited anxiously, the only thing on your mind being that mike would see you.

“now, our next guest is someone i’m super excited about — she’s been making waves the past few years in the entertainment industry, and is here tonight to talk to us a bit about her career. please welcome to the show, miss y/n l/n!” jimmy’s voice rang out, followed by a round of applause, and you headed onstage, flashing a smile and waving at the audience, before shaking hands and taking the seat across from him.

”well, it is so good to have you here! can i just say, you look fantastic!” he flashed you a grin. “thank you, jimmy!” you smiled. “well, i mean, i’m so glad to be here, y’know? i mean, when you start out, you never think you’ll be here.” you admitted, smoothing your dress down as you laughed softly.

“oh, it was a guarantee sometime soon. considering all the projects you’ve had going on for you — and, i mean, you’ve been booked, right? ever since you started acting, you’ve put yourself to work.” he pointed out. “now, i wanted divulge back into your past jobs a bit. so, tv shows.” he peeked at one of his showcards.

“yellowjackets, and this is us.” he noted. the audience clapped at the mention, and you flashed a smile. “yeah, that’s correct. so, actually, i landed the role on this is us not so long after i filmed american honey, and i was worried i’d flop, y’know? so when i walked into that audition room, i was honestly just kind of assuming i wouldn’t get the role. and when i got the call-back, it was just kind of a holy shit moment. like.. this show, was originally already written for six seasons. so i was in it.” you laughed softly, crossing your legs.

“and, i mean, when i actually met the cast, i was so awestruck, y’know? i mean, i’m a huge fan of gilmore girls, and low and behold, milo ventimiglia is there. and i see him, and, oh my god, he is such a dad.” you laughed. “so, he says hi, and smiles, and i was like.. this is not real.” you grinned. “and, i mean, i’m still very much close to all my cast mates. i idolize everyone so much, and just — the idea that we’ve acted in a show so emotional, as well as beautiful just brings us together, in a way.” you said, and jimmy nodded, flashing you a wide smile as well.

“when i tell you i cried every episode.” he sighed in mock exasperation, and laughed. “no — like, i’m so serious! i would watch with my wife, and it’s like, man, these people can never get a break!” you grinned, shaking your head. “oh, believe me, i know. i can’t rewatch it, definitely only a one-time watch for me.”

the rest of the interview went pretty smoothly. you answered any questions, overall making a good impression on jimmy and the audience. the nervousness never quite went away, the idea that mike was watching made you overthink your body language, responses, and just looks in general.

once you had bid him farewell, and stepped off the stage, you finally checked your phone, seeing messages from zendaya, josh, and timothée.

“god Forbid A Girl Get Huzz” - 2
“god Forbid A Girl Get Huzz” - 2
“god Forbid A Girl Get Huzz” - 2

a/n: AYY AYY !! also i updated the things reader is starring in, sorry!! i figured why not tv shows😆 and btw, i actually love this is us, i watch it all the time with my mom☺️☺️ i def recommend it!


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1sab4lla - bella ❦
bella ❦

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