Sweet Dreams, Four...

hold your fourses!!!

EEEEEEEE!

Triple Baka but make it STDWOLOM

(If you're wondering what it says it's all their names in Katakana)

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

4x + extra four bc i've been obsessedSorry

Uhhhh au shit that isn't even really an au but just an excuse for me to draw X as a god or smth

Yeah I have no real reason as to why I made this other than I fucking can

Also ignore the fact I forgot to add the tails in some of em

Full pages under cut :]

Ignore the fact my grammar is shit, i was doing that at school and forgor how to English

Also this basically sums up the entire au

Hi *leaves 4x content and dissapears*

:)

(Absolutely don’t do this if you aren’t comfortable) ENA (Dream bbq) getting drunk with reader?

•☽────✧˖°˖ FIZZY VALLEY ˖°˖✧────☾•

★ Summary: A Compilation of Headcannons Featuring Drunk Salesperson Ena X Reader

★ Character(s): Salesperson Ena (Ena: Dream BBQ)

★ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

★ Warning(s): Mentions And Descriptions Of Alcohol

★ Image Credits: @JoelG

☆ You should’ve known something was off when Ena invited you to what she called “a high-stakes engagement strategy brainstorm over beverages.” You were picturing coffee. Not tequila. Not her slamming two shot glasses on the bar and declaring, “Let’s reframe the concept of reality, darling.” She drinks like it’s a performance review—firm eye contact, exaggerated praise, and PowerPoint levels of misplaced confidence.

☆ Once Ena’s a few drinks in, her Salesperson side becomes so aggressively charming it’s like being smothered in coupon codes. “If you subscribe to this partnership now, I’ll offer you unlimited emotional support and complimentary hand-holding,” she hums, voice like cherry soda and half-suppressed giggles. You try to hide your flustered expression. She sees it. She logs it as “high conversion potential.”

☆ Her Meanie side doesn’t come out often at first—until she tries to order fries, but the kitchen’s closed. Suddenly she’s slamming her forehead on the bar, sobbing, “I AM THE TRAGIC EMBODIMENT OF CORPORATE WASTE—WHERE’S MY SALTED PRODUCTIVITY?!” You offer her a peanut. She throws the bowl at a breathing taxidermy moose.

☆ “Here’s your performance feedback,” she slurs, twirling a swizzle stick like a laser pointer, “You’re hot. You show initiative. You opened a door for me once. I will die for you.” You tell her that’s not how feedback works. She pulls out a clipboard from her suspenders and tries to make you sign a form titled “Love Contract (Beta).”

☆ She draws gimmicks on napkins. Terrible ones. Drunk ideas like “emotionally sentient office chairs” and “a pyramid scheme where everyone sells little hats.” You try to say “maybe we shouldn’t do this.” She claps a hand on your back like a frat bro and shouts, “WRONG ATTITUDE, PARTNER. THINK BIGGER.” Then she draws a diagram that’s just the word “VIBES” in a circle.

☆ She stares at you for a full minute, eyes glassy, voice flat: “Are you in the mood for shared assets and mutual annihilation, or should I put on my mask again and pretend not to like you?” You blink. She blinks. Her red side winks. You are either about to get kissed or yelled at. Or both. Probably both.

☆ The bar has one of those ancient karaoke machines. She picks a glitchy jazz remix of the Windows 95 startup sound. Halfway through she forgets the words (there are no words) and starts yelling improvised business jargon in rhythm. “Synergize my dividends, baby! Let’s OUTSOURCE THE PAIN!” Someone in the back cheers. You cry.

☆ Her Salesperson side leans over the counter, cheeks flushed, voice soft and too sincere: “Do you think people like me more when I smile? I’ve been smiling all night. It hurts now. But I—I want to be liked. I want you to like me. For me. Even if I mess up the pitch.” And her Meanie side chimes in: “GØD, I hate being real.”

☆ You’re not sure what triggered it—maybe someone said “quarterly”—but suddenly she’s sobbing into your shoulder like a malfunctioning LinkedIn ad. “I DIDN’T ASK TO BE A PRODUCT OF CAPITALISM! I just wanted to sell fruit. Or stickers! Or happiness! But now I’m selling ME!” You rub her back. She hiccups and asks if you’d still like her if she was “just a weird triangle girl with debt.”

☆ The bar’s quiet now. Her hat’s fallen off. You’re holding her upright and she’s murmuring nonsense like, “Let’s invest in each other’s feelings… diversify the pain into smaller dividends… I’ll build a company out of your laugh…” Then, barely audible: “You’re my best client. Don’t ever unsubscribe.” You smile. You don’t say anything. You just let her rest.

May I say something?

¿Puedo decir algo?

I need a fanfic with these two and just these two/j [you choose!]

Necesito un fanfic con estos dos y sólo estos dos/j [¡tú eliges!]

Okay, it will be a little angsty

X layied on theyr bed as the rain fell furiously into the ground

There was awfull lightning and tunders, the sky was furious like no other day

It has been a rougth week for x

Too much work, dumb shapes and numbers beeing mean to X for not knowing his value and the worst of all, theyr crush, 4, has been talking back abaut X

"Oh well" said X "i guess... im... worstless! Hahaha!"

X just rolled into theyr sheets as the rain fell furiously

Afrher a while of ugly crying, X decided that they wanted to go to the kitchen for whater, as he entered the kitchen he heard a knok on the door

"Huh?" X looked at the window "who could it be in this ugly rain?"

It was 4, with complelty damaged Flowers on hand, waving at X

X hesitated a little bit, but he opened the door for 4

4 entered the house, weting the floor, he apologised for that and ofered the flowers to X

"Thanks... but what are you doing here 4?"

"I came here to apologise... i haven’t been clear abaut my feelings towards you..."

"Oh... your feelings towards me" X crosed theyr arms "if i remember correctly, you were talking awfull things abaut me! My stupid quirks my, stupid yellow colour, and my voice! You were tired of them!"

"Because i can't get enougth of it...."

X face were a little bit of suprice, but they didn’t let his softh words softhen them

"You heard me wrong... i don’t dislike you, on the countrary! I love you..."

X eyes widened, but He was not sure to belive 4 or not...

"Its okay if you don’t feel the same way- ACHOOO!!!" 4 just caugth a cold

"Oh dear... come inside, get a towel and warm yourself"

Afther getting a towel and warming himself 4 sat in the couch... looking at X

X looked at the floowers, they were damaged, but they were pretty

4 tried to grab X's hand, but X took it of

"Im... sorry X..." 4 looked down "i want to... i... im just an idiot i shuldn’t have said that withaut expalining myself properly..."

X looked at 4

"I still want to... be with you... so... may i... be your parner?"

X though for a minute

"How much do you think i value...?"

4 was shoked at that question

"I don’t know... but... i know how much you matter for me... how much do you worth... for me..." 4 twirled his fingers

X let a few tears roll out of his face

"Thank you 4..." X wiped theyr tears "i really needed it..."

4 went to X's side and kiss them on the cheek

X looked at 4 with a surprice

4 kissed X again, this time, on the mounth

Thw rain keept falling... but this time, a littñe bit more calmly

4 and X cuddleled in the sofá huging heach other and giving kisses to each other in time to time

"I love you X... you weird little thing"

"I love you too 4... thanks for the flowers..."

"ACHOOO!!-"

"Are you okay 4- ACHOOO!!-"

"...im sorry X"

Heya gutzy! Thanks for the request! I don’t usually take request but whatever

I hope you liked it! Im sorry if the personalities doesn’t fit... i don’t know the characters, sorry!

Welp have a nice day

learning that 4x is actually canon threw me for a loop but i love it

i don't have internet for the foreseeable future so idk how often i will be able to post art </3 getting this image to post took over half an hour in itself