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Do any other hosts (especially ones that tend to be front stuck) feel like they don’t have an identity at all? Like, I know that I’m not Shekel, and I know that I’m not Monty, or Tamm, or *insert the list of headmates I know about* but I don’t know what I am.
I want to make a flowchart for when I’m blurry but I’m usually fronting on some level and I don’t know how to make an “Am I Jay?” section when I feel like the leftover scraps of everyone else. I don’t know what I look like on the inside because I figure I look like the body even though I have no connection to it (seriously, the not recognizing ourself in the mirror is bad).
I’m just the default setting. I know I’m a guy because of crippling dysphoria, and I like various things, but I have no way to figure out my identity when so much of it is other people.