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Saddness - Blog Posts
Laughter feels good for about 3 seconds.
Then melancholy quickly plummets into despair and longing.
Must ignore
Must push back
d o n t t h i n k a b o u t i t
Life Changes (Ch 5)
Disclaimer: I know absolutely nothing about medical stuff so all I know is from Google and doctor shows. Feel free to correct anything!
Tony looked down as his pager went off. He sits his fork down and picks it up. His fork falls to the table and he jumps up. Oh shit. He darts out of the cafeteria and heads down to where Pepper was.
“Pepper, what-” He stops dead, seeing the pale face on the bed. “Peter?” His voice is barely a whisper. He looked at Pepper.”What the hell happened to him?”
“I don’t know.” She says softly. “He hasn’t woken up yet.”
“I just talked to him less than an hour ago! He was fine then…” Tony runs a shaky hand through his hair.
“Tony are you going to be able to work this case?”
“If I’m needed. Has he damaged any nerves?”
“We’re about to find out.” She says.
Peter stirs with a groan and a cry of pain. The honey colored eyes fly open.
“Tony?”
Tony was at his side immediately.
“Peter, what happened?”
“Tony, it hurts. It hurts a lot. I can’t feel my-my leg.” Peter is crying now, his pretty face skewed in pain.
“Peter. I need you to tell me what happened.” Tony says, trying to fight back his own tears. By some miracle, he was able to keep his voice steady.
“I was dance-dancing!” He cried out again and tried to grab at his leg but that only made him cry out again. “I fell!” He yells and squeezes his eyes shut. It made Tony’s heart hurt.
“We’re going to see exactly what happened. We’re are going to fix this and you’ll be dancing again soon. I promise.”
Peter nods, his eyes still shut and he was still crying.
“Get him some pain killers and let me know as soon as you find out how bad this is.”
“Tony! Please….Don’t leave. Please.” Peter reached for him. “Don’t leave me alone. I need…..I need….” He shifts and cries out again.
“Shh. It’s okay. I’m here.” Tony smooths his hand through Peter’s hair. “We’re gonna get you all fixed up. I promise.” He whispers. “We gotta get you up to x-ray and check your leg okay?”
“Just make the pain stop!”
Tony looks up at Pepper as a new person enters the room. Natasha Romanova, an orthopedic surgeon. Tony makes eye contact and she nods. Tony stands, but Peter has an iron grip.
“Please-”
“Peter we are going to go look at your leg now.”
“I’m scared.”
“Peter, my name is Dr. Romanova. I’m going to be doing your x-ray.”
Peter looks up at Tony. He felt his leg getting numb and he felt that was a bad sign.
“Tony I can’t feel my leg.”
“We need to get this looked at. Now. Peter, Dr. Romanova is very good at what she does and she is going to get you fixed up okay?”
Peter squeezes Tony’s hand and nods just a little.
“Just...help me.” He whimpers.
“Let’s get going.” The red haired doctor says, and Peter feels Tony get up. HIs eyes fly open.
“Tony?” Peter gasped.
“Don’t worry. I’m here. I just can’t ride the bed up to x-ray.”
“Come with me?”
“Of course he’s coming.” Dr. Romanova speaks up. “Tony get your ass up and comfort your man.” She commands. Peter decided he liked her.
“Down girl.” Peter hears Tony say. He would have laughed if he didn’t hurt so much. Tony’s face came into view and he felt a gentle touch on his face. “I’m here. Just relax and everything will be fine.”
-----.-----
Tony stood in the middle of the lab room, looking at Peter’s x-rays.
“He shattered the entire leg.” He swore softly. He looks at Natasha. “Can you fix it? You have to fix it. Performing is his whole life.”
Natasha looks at him. “I can fix it. But Tony….He will never dance again. He never should never have danced in the first place. He has very weak bones in his legs. It’s a wonder he hadn’t hurt himself this bad before.”
The words hang in the room and Tony was sure he could feel his heart break. He takes a deep breath.
“I’m not done.” She continues softly. “I’m going to have to put a rod in his leg and I’m almost certain that he damaged nerves in his leg. He’s going to need physical therapy in order to walk again.”
“Is that all?” Tony asked softly, fighting to keep his voice even.
“Yes.” She licks her lips.
“Let me tell him. Please.” Tony looks away from the x-rays. They were burned into his mind forever. He shudders and pulls his head up.
“Of course. But he’s sleeping now so you’re gonna have to wait.”
Tony nods a little. “This is going to destroy him.”
“I know.” She says softly. She squeezes his shoulder and Tony watches her leave. At that moment, Stephen walks in. He pulls Tony into a hug, which surprised him because Stephen wasn’t a touchy person.
“How bad?” He asked softly.
“He’s never going to dance again.” Tony answers, pulling back and looking up. “I lied to him Stephen. He’s going to hate me.”
“Tony he isn’t going to hate you. This isn’t your fault.”
“No, but I lied to him. I told him that he’d be okay and he’d be dancing again in no time. He just auditioned for his dream roll. And it’s almost as if we’re taking his gift away from him.”
“Tony.” Stephen says softly. “He will get through this. He has you to help him.”
“It’s just not fair. He doesn’t deserve this. He’s a good person. Kind and sweet and he doesn’t let the fame get to his head. He-he-”
Stephen puts a hand on Tony’s shoulder.
“He will get through this. You both will, together. He will find his place.”
Tony nods a little, letting out a soft sob. Stephen sits beside him quietly as he breaks down.
“It’s going to ruin his life Stephen. I’m going to have to ruin his life.”
Stephen tilts Tony’s chin up. “You are going to help him through this. You are strong and so is he.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you Antony. If anyone can do this, it’s you.” Stephen looks at him in the eyes deeply with parted lips. Then he shakes his head a little and takes a step back. “Go to him.”
“Thank you.” Tony whispers, turning and leaving the room.
-----.-----
When Peter blinked awake, Tony and Dr. Romanova were standing at the end of his bed. He smiled a little.
“Hey. Can you fix me?” He asked with a small smile.
“I can. But You’ll have to have a rod put in your leg. You shattered the entire thing.”
“So going through airport security is going to be hell.” Peter jokes. So much to working for West End.
“Peter-” Dr. Romanova starts but Tony interrupts.
“Your surgery to fix your leg will be in an hour. Afterwards, you’re going to need therapy in order to walk correctly again.”
“So I’m down and out for a bit…” Peter nods a little. He needed to call the director and let him know he’d be out for a bit. He looks up at Tony. “You’ll be there won’t you? When I’m being operated on?”
Tony takes a deep breath. “I cannot operate on you as we have a personal relationship, but my best friend, Dr. Strange, is the best neurosurgeon I know. You will be in amazing hands I promise. And I’ll be in the gallery watching the whole thing.”
Peter was more scared now that he knew Tony wasn’t operating but if Tony trusted this Dr. Strange, he could as well. He nods a little.
“Okay. I believe you.” He looks around. “Can I have my phone? I need to call my director.”
Dr. Romanova gives Tony a look and hands the device over. Tony makes a "Y" shape with his hands and brings them down a few inches, his palms outward; shaking his head. Her eyes narrow and her lips thin into a white line.
Peter turns his gaze away from them and dails the director, who picks up on the third ring.
“Hello?”
“Hello, this is Peter Parker. I auditioned earlier?”
“The one who fell. How are you doing?”
“I’m actually calling to withdraw my audition because of my injury. I won’t be healed enough to even consider being in the show.”
“That is unfortunate. You had an amazing audition until the fall. You easily got the part.”
Peter felt like crying. The words cut deep.
“Thank you for the consideration.” He says, managing to hold his voice steady. “Break a leg and give my best to the one who got the part.”
He hangs up and lets the phone fall onto the bed, squeezing his eyes shut. He shook a little and felt a hand on his arm.
“Peter?” Tony asked softly.
Peter opens his eyes and looked up.
“I got the part. Well, I had the part.”
Tony feels as if he had been punched in the gut.
“Oh Peter, I’m so sorry.” Natasha says softly.
“It’s not like it’s your fault. I’ll just try again next time.”
Tony takes a breath and looks up at him.
“Peter…”
Peter looks up with a brave smile. Tony didn’t have the heart to tell him just yet and shakes his head.
“There was no doubt in my mind that you would have gotten that part.”
“Okay let's get you prepped for surgery okay?” Natasha cuts them off, and starting pre-ops.
----.-----
Stephen looks up as the door to the anteroom of the OR. Tony looked like a mess.
“You haven’t told him yet, have you?” He asked, drying his hands and sliding on gloves.
“I couldn’t do it. Not yet.” Tony inhales deeply. “I am going to after the surgery. I swear.”
Stephen gives a small tight smile and nods. “Tony, I believe you and if you need me, I will always be here.”
Tony nods, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. He clears his throat and nods. “Kick ass Strange.”
Stephen nods and ties his mask before pushing into the OR. He looks over at Natasha and nods.
“Alright everyone. It’s time to give an artist back his leg.” He glances up to the balcony where Tony had gone. He was leaning forward, his hands clasped tightly. He looked down at the man on the table and takes a breath. “For Tony.”
-----.-----
The next time Peter wakes up, he’s back in his room and Tony was sitting beside the bed. He looks over.
“How’d I do?” He asked, his voice was a bit rough. Tony smiles fondly though.
“You did great. The surgery went really well and you now have a metal rod in your leg.”
“How long before I can dance again?”
Tony tenses, looking down before looking back up. Peter’s blood ran cold. No no no. It can’t be true! I worked to hard for this.
“Tony?” Peter asked softly. He needed to hear it out loud if it was true.
“Peter, you can’t dance anymore. You should have never been able to in the first place. The bones in your legs are basically as strong as glass.” Tony’s voice grows softer. “I’m so so sorry.”
Peter shakes his head. “No.” HIs voice cracks. “You’re wrong. You have to be.”
“We aren’t. Natasha says it’s a miracle that you were going this long.”
“You lied to me.” Peter accuses. “You promised…” He is crying openly now. “You’re a liar! Go. I can’t look at you right now!” He squeezes his eyes tightly. “I put my entire life into this. I can’t do anything else. You gave me hope and lied to me in the process. I can’t forgive you.”
MY PHONE!
My darling phone fell from my pocket and the screen is cracked. I have to send it to get repaired and it would be gone 2 weeks. I don't know if I can live without voltage that long. (T-T)
I appreciate artists so much. I started these at 4, there is no way in hell I'm going to post the very first sheet I did. My sister came up and asked if I was drawing my cat... practice makes perfect. Must work harder!
I don’t like it☹️
1h 55mins
Yall I might have a mental breakdown i pretty much have all the symptoms😰😭😭😭😭
y’all I’m sick :(
I wish I wasn’t but at least I can stay in bed 😞
So f***ing true i hate the stupid motherf***ing cold >:[
me after watching any animal or pet in die in an movie ToT
I’m not even halfway done and I’ve been drawing for almost 2 hours😭😭😭😭😭I’m crying
I will not be answering my inbox I’m getting way to many bots(even porn ones🤢)I don’t even like that stuff
I will see if I can turn off my inbox I think?
Dear Supporter,
I hope this message finds you and your family in good health. My name is Eman Zaqout from Gaza. I am reaching you out to seek your urgent help in spreading the word about our fundraiser. I lost both my home and my job due to the ongoing genocide in Gaza and we are facing catastrophic living conditions. 💔
I kindly ask you to visit my campaign. Your support, whether through donating or sharing, will help us reach more people who can make a difference. Thank you for your continued support for the Palestinian cause. Your dedication brings us closer to freedom. 🙏🕊
Note: Verified by several people as 90-ghost and aces-and-angels. ☑
I’m so sorry that all this happened ☹️😭😭😭😭😭 I can’t donate but I can share so I can hope I can get help from my viewers and hopefully this can get around to others 😭😭😭I wish the best for you all🥹 🇵🇸
To all Palestine supporters 🙏
🫂🫂
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Your donations are important for our survival
Please help me reach our goal as soon as possible 🙏
We appreciate your help ❤️🙏
🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸❤🤍💚🖤
I’m so sorry but I can’t I don’t know how to donate 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭I wish you will be okay,safe,and healthy I know this won’t help much but I have hope for y’all☹️😞
that’s how I am when I go into my room:3i also forget everything and everyone like I’m slowly rotting away like Michael afton enjoying my pain that I fell but also don’t feel? I wish I didn’t feel so empty ….but I am and it hurts but I’m sooooooo “happy” :D
“are u ok”
bro i am completely disconnected from reality right now
