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Niragi - Blog Posts
chishiya, arisu, and niragi - their effects on me as someone who experienced severe depression
chishiya’s little confession to arisu always fucking gets me. call me selfish little shit all you want but i relate to him, niragi, and arisu so much. that realization and my connection to these three led to the alteration of my brain chemistry that literally ended up saving me from committing suicide.
because he was actually so fucking real i don’t care what you guys say. i lived so much of my life depressed wondering what the fuck was wrong with me (being autistic and having emotionally abusive & neglectful parents did NOT help with this), and hearing him talk about being small-minded and jealous and being always afraid just hit home. i was so jealous of everyone around me who just hit every little thing in life like it was a home run because when you become depressed at 8 and it doesn’t go away for a LONG time you start to be so fucking pissed about people who celebrate their every move. i pitied it but in reality i was just jealous because they all had that little life in them, that HUMANITY that i never experienced.
niragis whole character hit home like crazy for me. because of my inability to fit in with others i was bullied a lot by my classmates and picked on for what felt like no reason at all. i was, of course, jealous (which i refused to admit) and it drove me insane. i started to become the person i never wanted to be because the hatred drove me so fucking crazy i started to think i either had something seriously wrong with me or they made something seriously wrong with me and either way i was going to revel in it because there would be no fixing for someone like me. niragi hit extremely hard for me during this time, call me psychopath or whatever the fuck but i seriously related so much. he was just like me and it was comforting because even though he was so terrible it made me feel less alone.
finally, ep 8 of s2 when it was flashing back to his father asking him what his purpose in life was with that DEPRESSING ASS SONG in the background while he sobbed saying he doesn’t deserve to live broke me. that was the last fucking straw. all my selfishness and jealousy and anger and HATRED for everyone else just crumbled down on me and i didn’t want to live anymore because i felt like a selfish waste of space. it hurt and it hurt BAD. it was like somebody just took a knife, stabbed me straight in the heart a twisted a full 360.
these were very relatable characters for me, and i know i seem like an asshole for it, i don’t care. thats what real mental illness and effects of neglect / bullying / discouragement / everything looks like. they genuinely make me sob every time i see them because they’re actually me i see them and suddenly im that same scared little boy again. to this day those fireworks are STILL my favorite thing in the world and they mean everything to me. that was the scene that convinced me not to do it.
“god, you’re so pretentious.” niragi retorts, shifting to elbow-butt the blonde to the side. the action is clearly playful, yet there’s a hint of genuineness in the shove- despite his sudden, rare sweetness, niragi still has half a mind to play a sort of deceitful game with him. honesty is typically NEVER fun for the raven; unless he gets a little entertainment out of it, of course..
seriously, what a stubborn, stubborn man.
“is that so?” chishiya’s back to his side now. well, not COMPLETELY to his side, but they’re pretty damn tight. niragi’s just a head turn away. there’s a faint smirk growing on his face, mischievous and condescending. “i think you like that.” niragi scoffs, turning sharp to face him with a hard thump of his feet ricocheting throughout the empty hallway. his knuckles fold around the chest of chishiya’s jacket- it’s not as much as he hopes for, but it’s a start. a tempting, curious promise.
“you know, you shouldn’t wear your proclaimed OBNOXIOUSNESS like a badge of honor.”
chishiya’s ‘faint smirk’ has curled into an involuntary grin, just barely shuffling himself further into niragi’s grasp. a cold hand lifts up to slink around one of the raven’s wrists and niragi swears there’s a soft burn where his palm rests. he stares possessively down at him.
“if it’s proclaimed by you? ill take it with pleasure.”
the words slide off his lips with that stupid, smug smile he prides himself on. niragi’s vaguely OFFENDED, though, he understands the feeling of the blonde’s awfully cold hands against his is a rarity he’s not willing to risk losing with the threat that hangs on the tip of his tongue.
with an exasperated sigh, he swallows the cocky remark before he shifts his grip to chishiya’s hood, YANKING him down the corridor.
there’s other ways for him to put him in his place.
NIRASHIYA HEADCANONS !! (post-borderlands)
idc what yall say, niragi is so a little spoon, chishiya would come home from work and this man would JUMP onto him. he'd like fall asleep on his chest while chishiya's just trying to finally get some food in his system.
flirty asf x flirts once in a blue moon
chishiya practically purrs in his sleep and niragi can never get enough of it
acts of service + quality time x physical attention + P.D.A
they call eachother asshole in a loving way, 100%. they are the definition of sarcasm
prefers-staying-at-home-over-going-out chishiya and literally-cant-cook-anything-but-shin-ramen-but-still-tries niragi
niragi always makes fun of chishiya's height- he never really means it, he just likes to nag him (as usual..)
chishiya loves to play with niragi's hair. when hes all curled up in his lap hes fighting demons trying not to comb a few fingers through the dark, messy strands.
CONSTANTLY staring (with love) x “why are you staring…” (with fear / concern)
can’t live without coffee x can’t live without redbull (he was hoping it’d give him the wings when he fell off the beach roof /sar) (on that note coffee DEFINITELY stunted chishiya’s growth)
should i make more ? :3
i like my men pathetic with long messy hair
fanart for @sharpsuite and their fic :) app ; clip studio paint brush(es) ; textured pen literally spent like 40 min trying to get chishiya's face right omg
controversial take : idgaf how much you hate niragi, saying that you'd be (pre borderlands!)niragi's bully and going in depth about how youd beat his ass so bad and going as far as saying you hope he gets SA'd is so fucking weird and disgusting. i dont care how much you hate him, talking abt how badly youd hurt him before he even became terrible is just flat out gross and honestly kinda disrespectful. i dont care how much you hate him, he was somebody's baby once. he didnt want to be the monster until they made him feel like he needed to
does he even know hes alive
audience declares artist made man too silly, artist pleads who cares?
how i feel after taking all the hate for saying burnt niragi on the aib hear me out post so that all the less confident can agree without getting assaulted by tiktokers (they dont understand the actor over actions rule)
where the HELL did half of niragi's character go in the live action??
i absolutely LOVE niragi's catholic undertones throughout the alice in borderland manga, everyday i grieve the fact that the series had used the tunnel scene instead of the church scene for him, which i think contributed to the mass niragi mischaracterization in the side of the fandom that has not looked into the manga. his desires to be liked and feel wanted mentioned in the king of clubs not being present in the live action genuinely disappointed me- although admittedly harder to portray through cinematography, ill give them that, it could've worked just fine with a bit of monologue. he deserved more than a flashback and a one-liner. get this man some character development and an in depth character arc in season 3 STAT !!! although unredeemable, i need to see him represented for what he was in the manga :(
happy bday niragi ft. my math sketch
my shayla. :(
+ unfinished digital art <3