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It Sounds So Emo And Serious And Its Literally About Being A Bio Major - Blog Posts
elpis
nobody taught me what happiness was,
i had to teach myself.
i sought it in a golden fleece,
but it wasn’t found in riches
i sought it in the thunderbolt,
but it wasn’t found in god
i sought it in my mother’s hand,
but she never learned it either
i sought it in my own heart,
but the feeling wouldn’t linger.
nobody taught me what happiness was,
it’s simpler to stay sad
you have to save yourself, i realized
it’s easier said than done
when you’ve convinced yourself you don’t need saving,
that the bone-deep hurt is in everyone.
i made myself happy enough, i bluffed but i should’ve known
enough is never enough
my heart was never my home
i flayed myself at the altar
i bent backwards for pelias
his upward gaze did not falter,
a midas touch could not settle the rest.
there was no reason, none at all
but i could not accept it,
i think i've always been a little scared of happiness
for me, it was never destined.
nobody taught me what happiness was,
but i’m trying to learn it now
i’m sorry i hurt so easy
i’m sorry i didn’t treat you well
i’m sorry i stayed complacent, couldn’t face it, didn’t cherish what you gave me
i hope you can forgive this
i hope you trust me with your gift
i’d turn back for you, every single time
for one sun-dappled glimpse.
nobody taught me what happiness was,
i think i figured it out.
it's trying, with everything you have, to find it
you owe it to yourself.