Incorrect Genshin Impact - Blog Posts

Baizhu, holding a spine model: this is your spine

Chongyun: wtf put it back

Childe: i just killed your entire family for not paying the fatui back

Some Random Person: what..? i live alone?

Childe: what?

Childe: then who were the people in your house?

Some Random Person: there’s people in my house???

Childe: well not anymore

Razor: i amn just........ a litle creacher, thatse it. i canot change this....

Bennett: i know this, and i love you

Mona: when’s your birthday?

Scaramouche: why? so you can look up my natal chart? so you can figure out my weaknesses? so you can destroy me? i don’t fucking think so

Xiao: i know you think my judgment is clouded because i like venti a little bit

Zhongli: you doodled your wedding invitations

Xiao: that’s our joint tombstone

Zhongli: my mistake

Venti: i’d rather encounter multiple women who take astrology too seriously over even one man who genuinely believes in the sigma/alpha/beta male bullshit

Mona: gemini

Venti: never mind, the women are fucking witches there’s no way she could’ve known that

Klee: do you still have that giant astronomy coloring book back at your house?

Mona: it’s not a coloring book

Klee: uh oh

Razor: tony hawks moving castle

Razor: i can’t remember the name of it

Bennett: howl?

Razor: aaaaauuuuu??

Razor: oh

Childe: vibe check test came back negative :(

Kaeya: 6/10. the joke hits but it’s not that funny

Childe: what the fuck

Zhongli: 0/10. no dragons

Childe: i’m right fucking here

Childe: got called gay at headquarters today, lads

La Signora: tell us what happened, lad

Childe: i got called gay at headquarters

Scaramouche: yea but why?

Childe: i was being gay

Scaramouche: at headquarters?

Childe: yea it was at headquarters

Kaeya: i think it’s pretty common knowledge that i’m a better person than you

Diluc: no, it isn’t. remember when you saw that accident and you just pretended you were blind?

Kaeya: that doesn’t count. our movie was gonna start in eight minutes, why would you bring that up?

Venti, in Fontaine: ah yes!baguettes, the snakes of bread. we’ll take two of your freshest yeasty eels, good sir!

Random Baker: what

Traveler: ignore him

Xiangling: i hate being high. why do i keep hearing footsteps

Chongyun: are you walking?

Xiangling: oh shit

Childe: going clown spotting

Scaramouche: have you checked the mirror

Childe: well if you want me to die you can just say so

Venti: dam girl, r u a construction worker cauz ur building

Xiao: ...building?

Venti: 👍

Xiao: what the fuck does that mean

Venti: mind your own business

Chongyun: we have to be careful, someone here is possessed by the spirit of an owl

Xingqiu: who

Chongyun: that’s the thing we don’t-

Chongyun:

Xiao: defending morax on the internet isn’t enough i need a gun

Random Treasure Horder: please don’t kill me

Kaeya: i can bring you in warm or i could bring you in cold. start talking

Klee: *desperately trying to hand one of them a wet cheerio*

Kaeya: if i was dating you, heh let’s just say broccoli wouldn’t be called broccoli anymore

Albedo: what does this mean

Albedo: kaeya i’m shaking what the fuck does this mean

Childe: i’m about to go fight scaramouche i’ll post the vid later

Childe: nvm i got my ass beat i’m not posting that shit

Kaeya: bigfoot, but fully shaved

Childe: mr. clean

Diluc: conversations like this are why i have anxiety

Childe: i think i might’ve ate Xiao’s almond tofu

Childe: how long do you think i have to live?

Zhongli: five

Childe: five??? five what???

Zhongli: four

Xiao: had it not been for the laws of this land, i would have slaughtered you

Childe: all i did was ask where the bathroom was

childe could also EASILY be beidou

Zhongli: hey do any of my followers know how to render really well?

Childe: i can render my enemies immobile

Zhongli: i meant like 3d computer renders but ill keep you in mind for future reference

Chongyun: why do you two look so sad?

Xingqiu: come sit down and we’ll tell you

Chongyun: okay?

Hu Tao: this bench was freshly painted

Xingqiu: you lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Chongyun: oh yeah? you’re the idiot who thinks he can get away with everything you do. welcome to the real world!

Xingqiu: im leaving you, and im taking razor with me!

Bennett, picking up the monopoly board: i think it’s time to stop playing now

Diona: hello everyone and welcome to the ‘fuck diluc club’ where we talk about how much we hate diluc. welcome to our newest member, donna

Donna, frantically trying to leave: so there’s been a misunderstanding

Kaeya: snow got me feeling some typa way 😳

Albedo: that’s sheer cold, fam

Kaeya: damn the paramedics told me it was the magic of christmas

Traveler: the door is locked

Venti: i got it! childe, give me your credit card

Childe: okay?

Venti, pocketing it: cool. razor, kick the door down