I Actually Fell For A Catherine Once - Blog Posts

theorizingtheo

1 year ago

Sapphic religious poetry rant cuz my last exam is tomorrow🥲

My whole life, I've been told Lying is a sin to God But He can see right through your soul Something you cannot control

So why should I not lie When what happens once I die Is He judges and proclaims Who will burn in Hell's flames

And the Judgement he gives out Is fair and just, that I don't doubt But anything I've left unsaid Be it bad, or harsh, or well Before Him all will spread And I'll have nothing left to mell

So, if He sees all that untold All restrained lies now unfold Will it matter I kept it in That I caged it all within?

Pastors answer me with no Parents claim they do not know Friends toy around the issue Strangers often hand me a tissue

Wiping the shame right off my face I adopt an even pace Trying hard to hide the truth Of mistakes in my long lost youth Made in spontaneous reaction Once I felt my first attraction

She was like the sun's first rays And as if I was blind for days She enlightened me a path And that's when I met Cath

Short for Catherine, her name Sounded too holy for this plane She blessed my days with light and grace She took me in her sweet embrace

And that is when the lying started As I answered when prompted That we were only ever friends And that's as long as our relationship extends.

But Cath was tired of lying And one day, when she was crying She drew a line between us two She flew away for someplace new

I lost her

I lost myself

I lost my faith

I lost my light

I lost my truth

I lost my lies

I lost myself within my lies And I lost her within my truth

But how could I hold onto all When my body's so small All the feelings, thoughts contained Day by day all that I reined Would sometime all combust And that would've been the worst

But that day had come It was gone and left me numb To the feelings of regret That I blunted with a cigarette And now I lay awake at night Trying to discern what is right And I come to the same conclusion That only births in me confusion

Why did I hurt the one I love How could I hunt down a dove Why hide such a common action As the one that's called attraction Beneath a veil of lies That God himself despises?