Ellie X Reader - Blog Posts

u deserve better, but better isn’t me :( | ellie williams x fem!crybaby!reader

angst, friends to lovers, and some joint smoking 🤫

black shirt ellie brainrot is so bad

ellie couldn’t focus if she tried, no matter how hard she stared at the screen of her laptop, she couldn’t forget the sight of you crying to her about your shitty ex boyfriend who cheated on you before passing out in her lap.

she had to focus, for her sake and yours.

you’d been through enough heartbreak, she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she were the reason you cried like that.

she gently moved you over so you were instead laying on a pillow, but she noticed you visibly shiver at the loss of contact making her heart ache.

she quickly grabbed the blanket on the couch behind her, draping it over your sleeping form as she looked at the still drying tears on your face.

she sighed, reaching over to take out a makeup wipe from your bag before looking over the ruined mascara under your eyes.

she bit her lip as she tenderly began cleaning your face, making sure she got every sticky dark piece from your face before looking over your soft features.

“i wish i could show you how much better you deserve…” she whispered, pressing a parting kiss to your head before she got up.

heading outside, she lit a joint between her lips, smoke spilling from her mouth.

she looked up at the stars, remembering how the two of you would stay up til midnight to catch the meteor showers and count all the constellations.

you guys even named a couple after you guys, saying as long as those stars were up there, you guys would be inseparable.

and how right you were for that, but ellie was catching feelings and she wasn’t ready to face that.

or what that’d do to your current friendship.

she took another hit, the door behind her opening making her spin around.

when you stepped outside, she thought she’d relax but she stared, taking in your form as you rubbed your tired eyes.

“thank you for cleaning me up.” you chuckled, leaning against the porch beside her as she passed you the joint letting you take a couple hits. “i’m sorry i’m such a mess.”

“what’s being human if you aren’t a little messy?” ellie smiled. “and no worries. i gotta take care of my girl.”

you passed her back the joint, leaning your head on her shoulder making her smile to herself, taking another hit before leaning her head on yours.

“he’s not even worth the tears anymore.” you concluded, the warmth of being beside her slowly mending your broken heart.

“he never was. he’s a douche, you deserve a guy that’ll give you everything you give him and more.” ellie said, ashing the joint as she brought it back to her lips.

“this is why i love you. you’re so wise.” you hugged her making her stiffen at those words.

“yeah, i’m the wisest…” she sighed softly, hugging you back.

but as she wrapped her arms around your waist, she couldn’t help the butterflies that flooded her stomach as she felt your body press against her, your perfect curves and soft skin so close to her, it was too much to handle.

so before she could permanently attach herself to you, she pulled away making you do the same.

“did i do something wrong?” you asked, sensing her suddenly get distant with you making her shake her head.

“of course not. this is all me.” she chuckled, her grip on the guardrails getting tight as the joint slowly went out due to the crisp night air.

“what is? ellie, talk to me.” she hated how much your words had an impact on her making her turn on her heels to head back inside, not even holding the door for you like she usually would.

you hurriedly follow her, closing the door behind you as you watched her put away her joint and lighter.

“els, i don’t want to beg you for answers.” you said in defeat making her huff, turning to face you.

“then don’t, let’s drop this conversation right now.” she began to walk off but you grabbed her arm.

“no, ellie, look at me.” you said to her, earning her piercing green gaze. “you get distant like this and it’s happening more and more often.”

ellie cursed to herself, not realizing how long she’s been head over heels for you.

“is it something i did?” you asked softly making her want to eat her own heart over how terrible those words hurt her.

she wanted to say “no, baby, you didn’t do anything wrong.” or “no, you’re perfect, more perfect than perfect, i just don’t want to ruin what we have.” but all her words became jumbled as she watched your pretty eyes tear up some more.

“because i was fine with losing my boyfriend, if i lose you, i don’t know if i’ll keep breathing.” you admitted weakly as ellie tried to form the words to reassure you but they didn’t want to cooperate.

so instead, she pulled you into a warm hug.

you sobbed into her chest as her hand rubbed your back and the other played with your hair.

“im not going anywhere..” ellie promised as you wept, reaching down to cup your face and wipe your tears away with her thumbs.

you looked up at her, the tension between the two of you was thick.

her eyes were glancing from your eyes, to your puffy lips, to your flustered face as she collected herself, calming her nerves with a deep breath.

“im not going anywhere because i’m in love with you.” she told you straight up making your eyes widen as you freeze. “and i want you to be happy, and loved, so so loved, more loved than you could possibly imagine and i don’t know if i have the capacity to give you what you deserve, i—“

she’s cut off from her heartfelt ramble when you cup her face and bring her lips down to yours.

you stay like that, your lips connected in a way that healed both of you from the scars of your repressed affection for each other.

you pulled away, looking up at ellie who still had that conflicted look in her eyes.

“you’re the greatest gift this earth could’ve ever given me, so don’t sell yourself short.” you whispered making her bite back her smile.

“yes, ma’am.” ellie pressed you against the wall, her hand gently holding you by the throat making you gasp, but she captured your lips in hers before you could say anything.

you melted in her grip, your eyes fluttering shut with bliss as you kissed her back lovingly.

when she pulled away, you tried following her before you came to your senses and opened your eyes.

“you’ve always been corny, you know that?” ellie smirked, her breath brushing over your lips making you bite them.

“oh, shut up.” you groaned making her grip tighten which caused you to let out a soft moan.

“what was that?” ellie asked softly, leaning in.

“n—nothing, im sorry.” you whimpered making her nod as she tilted your head up by moving her hand from your neck to grabbing your chin.

“that’s what i thought.” she smiled, pressing her lips to yours.

｡⋆𖦹.✧˚──

you’ve been walking for hours.

the snow crunches under your boots, soft and stubborn. it’s early, not quite morning, not quite night. that weird blue hour where the trees blur together and everything looks like a painting. ellie’s a few feet ahead of you, rifle slung over her shoulder, her other hand jammed in her pocket. she’s humming something under her breath, low and tuneless. probably doesn’t even know she’s doing it.

you’d followed her out this morning for patrol. well, you offered. she didn’t say no, just raised her eyebrows and said, “hope you’re not squeamish." you’re not. mostly.

but now, hours in, no infected in sight, she’s kneeling in the snow next to a fallen log, flipping through her beat up sketchbook. her gloves are hanging out of her pocket, her fingers red from the cold as she shades something in with a pencil. you awkwardly hover behind her, “what’re you drawing?” you ask, voice soft like it might break something.

ellie glances up at you, a smudge of graphite on her cheekbone. she shrugs. “just saw a rabbit earlier. figured i’d get it down before i forgot.”

you lean over her shoulder, watching the strokes of her pencil. the sketch is rough but careful, ellie’s kind of careful. like she’s scared of getting it wrong but doesn’t wanna show it.

“you’re really good,” you say.

she makes a face like she doesn’t believe you. “sure.”

you chew your lip, glancing at the empty space on the corner of the page. “can i… try?”

ellie blinks. “seriously?”

“yeah.” you shrug, trying to act casual. “i used to doodle stuff. nothing good.”

she hesitates, like she’s about to make a joke. then she just passes the sketchbook to you and says, “don’t fuck it up.” but her tone is warm and teasing. safe.

you sit down next to her on the log, your thighs brushing, the cold seeping through your jeans. the pencil’s warm from her hand. you look at the blank corner and freeze up a little.

“shit,” you mutter. “how do you even start?”

ellie leans in, her shoulder pressed to yours. “just find the shape first. don’t think about the details.”

you glance at her, and she’s already looking at you, her mouth half quirked up in this lopsided grin that makes your stomach do something annoying.

you try to draw a bird. you saw one earlier—a little brown thing that darted through the trees like it had somewhere important to be. your lines are shaky, clumsy. your rabbit looks more like a lumpy sock. you scowl. ellie snorts.

“okay, rude,” you say.

“what? i didn’t say anything.”

you nudge her with your elbow and she laughs, low and scratchy. “nah, it’s not that bad,” she adds. “here, lemme…”

she takes the pencil from you and lightly draws over your lines, fixing the shape, softening the angles. her hand rests over yours, steady and sure, and you swear you forget how to breathe for a second.

you look up at her. she’s close. too close. but you don’t move.

“see?” she murmurs. “not bad.”

you nod, eyes still on her, and for a second, the snow stops falling and the cold doesn’t matter and the whole world feels quiet.

ellie blinks down at you. her voice, when she speaks, is barely above a whisper.

“you, uh… ever come out here just to hang?”

you smile. “maybe i will.”

she grins, it looked crooked and nervous, but it was cute.

you stay like that for a while. shoulders touching, breath clouding in the cold, sketchbook balanced between you. maybe the hunt wasn’t the point after all.