Bsd Fluff - Blog Posts

ddeeeEEER 😭 you have me clutching my chest dying from ur fluff good LORD

i'll be the first to ask for the rest of what you wrote post that shit NOW this is a threat/j

ouggggh ur dazai makes me want to squash him and blend him up and smash him into bits

butt anywho happy thanksgiving!!

-🩵

uefiuhseufh THANK YOU 🩵ANON!!!! i wrote these literally seconds after "pt1" but didn't wanna clog ppls feeds w thousands of kissing hcs um oops

PT1

(not necessary to read, just more silly ideas)

15!Dazai who, whether it's you who leans in first or him, gets so overwhelmed. The rush of emotions and warmth he's never been shown causes him to panic, which makes him push you away! (Quite harshly at that..) He doesn't mean to but omg Dazai is just SO not used to affection and comfort that the warm fluttery feeling in his chest makes him sick to his stomach. Processing these feelings makes him feel flustered and sheepish and AHH!!!!! It's too much!!! He'd avoid you so horribly after he's so stupid, ducking into other hallways or using his hands to physically cover his face (very obvious to poor you!!) all so he didn't have to acknowledge the fact that you made him feel different. It'd probably take Chuuya yelling at him for his stupidity for him to realize he really really likes you! And that feeling is actually good!!!

PM!Dazai who's cocky and knows exactly what he wants; He's the demon prodigy for a reason. This Dazai is an asshole who kisses you without warning - no "I'm interested in you" or slow lean in or anything - just cuts you off with a long kiss that takes your breath away before he moves back. He'll tease you for being "so in love with him, as many are," before waving his hand dismissively and leaving. Dazai is a total jerk so when you ask if this means he likes you, he denies it: just saying that he knew you liked him and thought he'd be generous and give you your first and last kiss with him. Dazai flaunts a pretty smile and leans suspiciously close as he says this before immediately leaving under the guise of some meeting he's definitely lying about. He'd start doing things to draw your attention to his lips after this just to mess with you - putting on chapstick and the like. PM!Dazai would love to see you get frustrated and annoyed with his antics but not do anything, knowing it'd only make it worse. grrr biting scratching clawing i need him gone

ADA!Dazai who's anxious. He's so totally in love with you and is overwhelmed by it all! His eyes sting and his throat turns dry, a sign that he feels like crying, but he just stands there at the sight of you. You 'd be the one to initiate it first, an anxious look on your face as you pull back to a ghostly white Dazai standing frigid. The thought of oh fuck, did I overstep? leads to you apologize profusely. Once he finally gets his breath back (you feeling downright horrible with every moment he's silent), Dazai practically hangs off of you, pathetically gripping onto your arm with both of his and holding you close. You ask if this means he likes you back but he still can't speak, just burying his head into the crook of your neck. Give him time, he's still working through everything!!!! It's been a long time since he has actually liked someone, especially so deeply, so it's hard for him to come to terms with it :( He just wants to be near you but he can't find the words to express that just yet. Being vulnerable is so scary!

Beast!Dazai who gets horrifically drunk. How else could he manage all of the things he has to go through? Just knowing he could never confide in Oda like he once has leads him to throwing back drink after drink... Until he ends up on your doorstep. He'd wanted to keep you at arms length, to stop you from following him down the dark road he was paving, but with a few too many drinks in him he found he didn't care. You let him in right away, more than happy to pour him a glass of water and let him crash on your couch for the night. Before you could even turn towards your kitchen, he pulled you in for a passionate kiss, full of love and need and every feeling he has felt for you across lifetimes. The kiss would last a minute or so before Dazai would pull away, hugging you tightly and making you promise him that you'd never leave him, even if he makes horrible decisions and drives everyone else away — you are his, remember? In every life.

first time kissing with the sillies… ada!dazai is defo more experienced and pleasant, but kissing pmzai would be so awkward, giggly and full of teeth

shidjeicbwichwkcbsjbcjebdjehcjcbe biting scratching chewing going crazy jumping up and down

PT2 (kinda)

15!Dazai would be so inexperienced and childish fhuisehfu hold on lemme do smth .

“Haah!~” Dazai leaned back as he let out a huge breath of air, face bright red with a big grin on his face. His reaction made you flustered, not expecting such a dramatic response to a little kiss (even from Dazai).

It had been very heat of the moment: a sudden and quick press of your lips on his (could it even be described as a kiss?) to celebrate the two of you becoming official partners - dating. Two seasoned mafiosos were acting like giddy children just from holding hands for the first time and telling each other how they felt.

And now, Dazai had his face buried in his hands, working hard to try and steady his heart rate. “You— th-that— ” It was rare to see Dazai so speechless, causing your own face to heat up as you stepped back.

“Sorry sorry sorry!” It was reflexive the way you apologized, one hand over your mouth and the other gripping your shirt just above your heart.

“Don’t you dare apologize!” He finally looked back up at you from his hands, huge grin still plastered on his lips as he grabbed you by your hands. “D-do it again!”

LET 15!DAZAI BE A KID 🗣️🗣️🗣️ he’d be so silly and EXPECTANT that greedy jerk.. The second you give him one (1) small kiss, he’s all over you begging for more. But god forbid you ask for a kiss, then he’s teasing you about how you want him so badly and you’re sooo pathetic and whipped for him— he’s the worst!!!! And he will not work on it!

PM!Dazai would be, like anon said, still a little awkward, but definitely more put together. He’d be anxious to initiate, looking anywhere other than you as he tried to figure out the best way to go about it. Probably some experience with kissing would be under his belt by this point, so it wouldn’t be just a peck on the lips: He’d be a bit more committed, but still pull away after only a few moments just to see how you’d react.

When you showed signs of reciprocation and wanting more, Dazai would just pull you back in once again, smiling and giggling as he refused to let your lips leave his this time. His eyes would be screwed shut so tightly, hands resting awkwardly on your biceps and squeezing gently… He just doesn’t want to let go!!! Once you basically pry him off with a crowbar, he’s flushed and heady, turning away from you and letting out a groan. He’s embarrassed a little bit by his actions, but turns back around once again so he can tease you (common across all Dazais). It’s his way of trying to get you to say you enjoyed it :( so tell him he is a very good kisser and you like him very much so he can grin proudly and tell everyone that his partner says he’s an amazing kisser!!! (Even if you technically didn't!!)

ADA!Dazai would be smug but needy, pulling you in for kiss after kiss. You’d part away after the first one, ready to hear some teasing remark or cocky retort, only to find his lips back on yours once again. One hand would move to hold your waist gently, the second holding you in place cupping your cheek as he’d press more and more upon your lips. The soft feeling of your lips on his causes his whole body to tingle, barely aware of how many times he’s pulled you back in as you let out a small chuckle. He does not care, just repeating the process over and over and over—

“Dazai!” You’d yelp, lightly chastising him. It's punctuated with a giddy giggle that Dazai loves the sound of.

He’d gaze at you adoringly, eyes half lidded and smiling with his cheeks pink. With a teasing tone, he'd reply, “You sayin' you want me to stop?”

And he’d be kissing you again before you could reply. All Dazais are the type to chase your lips after a kiss, but ADA!Dazai in particular is terrible about it. There is never just one kiss with him, even if he promises that’s all in between whines! Do not give in!!!!! You’ll be stuck all day :(

“There are worse places to be trapped, right?”

Beast!Dazai… ougghhh. His first kiss with you would be so somber, like he knows what he’s condemning you to by allowing the both of you to remain in close proximity. It’s slow and almost cold, the way he gently presses his hands into your sides and lets out a heavy breath against your lips, eyes shut tiredly. It’s solemn, but also peaceful - the only time Dazai can just sit with everything he has to do. He’d pull away slowly, a sad smile on his face as he sees your flustered look and wide eyes…

Your last kiss with him is almost worse. It’s needy: hands moving everywhere they can and eyes shut so tightly as he prays to be anywhere else, be anyone else while pouring every emotion that fills him to the brim right onto your lips. He’d mutter an apology right before and so many words of gratitude right after. You cup his face gently, asking him what was wrong, but Dazai would just pull away, leaving you all alone.

someone ask me to do this again bc i've already written more ideas

The cool, marble countertops send a shiver up your spine, but you don't seem to care. Instead of complaints, a giggle leaves your mouth, hands tightening around Dazai's shoulders. Feeling him scoop you up and set you onto the kitchen counter so easily made you swoon, which only deepened the make out session you two were currently engaged in. His hands kept moving from your hips to your ass, wanting to feel your body under his fingers as he held you close.

You both couldn't help giggling, feeling giddy at the touches and kisses being shared during such early hours. Pajama shorts riding up your thighs, a stretched-out and loose t-shirt showing off Dazai's bare neck and collar bones... it was all so intimate. There was no one around, just the two of you and the early morning sun dancing across the room as your legs moved up to cage Dazai in. More giggles erupted from him before pulling back, cutely flushed cheeks on display for just you to see. No words were shared, just heavy breaths and loving stares as your brains worked on properly waking up.

“Y’know, maybe I should skip work today.”

“You said the same thing yesterday, Osamu.”

Matching bolo ties with Dazai!! Other couples have matching bracelets or keychains but why not matching mental illnesses 😎

doing this in hcs hope that's fine!!! love u anon

“oh whoa! look at these matching couples bracelets for sale, darling! aren’t they so cute?” “look! that couple has matching necklaces, how sweet!” “oh, i don’t want these matching keychains, just pointing them out to you because it’s cute!”

…

he gifted you yours!

but not in person bc that’s so scary omg

he left it on your kitchen counter one morning before leaving for work

dazai was so excited to see you wearing it the next time you were together!!!

seeing the blue gem wrapped around your neck as you greeted him warmed his heart ❤️

he plays it off like a joke, saying that he thought it’d be funny to match like other couples do bracelets or keychains. he says you don’t have to wear it but please don’t take him seriously!!!

if you take it off dazai will be DEVASTATED. he hides it really well bc he’s him but ouuugh he reads it as you not loving him :( or being embarrassed of him!!! omg you took it off because you actually plan to leave him like everyone else ??? you don’t want people to associate you with him ????? omg

even though it would destroy him, every time he sees you with it on he tells you that you don’t have to and probably teases you for being so whipped for him (even though it’s 100% the other way around)

he takes total pride in matching with you!!!! when kunikida points it out he’s all “oh so you’re jealous? sorry you don’t have a lovely partner to match with!”

atsushi compliments the matching set and he BEAMS!!!! smiles so brightly for the rest of the day and even into the next!

he uses it to tug you closer to him to kiss you!! he knows it gets your heart racing both from the fear and suddenness of it but also bc awww his lips on yours n he smells like comfort and— oh now he’s gone. hm

he’s so commitment issues to me so it’s kinda his way of staking claim over you :)) his hand brushes over it when you talk with someone else he doesn’t trust or he’ll reach over and “polish” it with his bandages or sleeves or his SPIT if that person Will Not Back Off.

i can imagine him starting to keep those soft glasses cleaning fabric squares in his pockets just for the above scenario 😭

he just loves that you match him! starts pointing out matching things other couples have - not to try and drop hints like last time but to mutter that ours is better while all pouty :( now he thinks he Owns “matching accessories w your s/o” someone come get this man shaking my head….

all in all i think he’d be very cute about it! it’s not something he explicitly states or asks for but it makes him very happy :)

imagine one day his breaks on a mission and he’s so distraught and uncomfortable and anxious all day :( he comes home to you after by breaking into your apartment almost holding back tears as he explains what happens :(

you have to hold him close and say it’s okay, you aren’t mad, he’ll be fine…

try offering yours for him to wear while it gets fixed! (he’s a little suspicious… why are you so eager to not wear yours?……) but dazai says you can wrap your wrist in his bandages like a makeshift bracelet just for the time being!! so he still has that claim on you while his gets fixed

but now. how would you look wrapped all up in his bandages? oh you’re so cute!! so his ❤️

maybe you can wear his shirt to match! ooh ooh how about the coat as well! you look like a mini him when you’ve got the white pants on, too!

it’s a slippery slope anon. stay safe out there.

he just wants everyone to know you’re his at first glance! is that too much to ask?

i like to think dazai would be like the textbook definition of cheesy in a relationship. ik it’s a popular hc people have for him to be noncommittal and not a good partner but i honestly think he wouldn’t be as bad at being a partner as some people think (but i do respect the hc’s and the angst is always well written) i just personally think he’s super whipped for his s/o and obsessed to the point everyone else is who now??

HEUIHFSH SAME pathetically smitten dazai is my FAVORITEEE uurrggg .... he’s so pathetic loser........ this is why i love dazai he’s so versatile :) i need him pathetic crying over me and i need him unable to say he loves me at all oooouh ..,

His feet nudged yours under the desks once again. You looked up at him with a curious glance, waiting to see why he needed your attention, but no such answer came. Dazai merely continued to gaze at you, lovesick written all over his face as it started turning red. They're looking at me! ran through his head, almost forgetting that he had nudged you in the first place.

"What are you doing, you moron?" Kunikida spoke angrily, annoyed Dazai was blowing off his work once more.

"Staring at my partner. They're so pretty, don't you think?" His words made you smile, which caused him to melt all over again. "See? See!? Ahh, love... Your smile could light up the whole city of Yokohama. If you weren't already mine, I'd tell you to use your powers for good. But I couldn't live with myself if you had to go away!"

Kunikida's face contorted in confusion. "Go away..? What are you blabbering on about this time?"

"Once the government learns my darling's smile can rejuvenate and revitalize people they'll put them to work!" He pouts. "I'll never get to see them again when they're out saving lives!" He throws his head back dramatically, hand draping over his heart.

While your blond coworker groaned in annoyance—mainly at himself for asking—you merely chuckled. "That's alright. I wouldn't want to be away from you for long, either."

Dazai gasped, standing up suddenly. "You mean it?! Ohhh, how you just warmed my heart!~ My lovely partner wants to stay by my side! Kunikida, trade desks with me!"

"What, no! Why?!"

"I need to sit next to my beloved! If we're apart, I can't get any work done!"

"You can't get any work done, anyway!"

yk sometimes pm!dazai or ada!dazai takes off his trench coat and he only has his button up and waistcoat on? (its giving slay ngl) so maybe if he had a partner he’d occasionally lend his darling his coat because it’s cute and vv silly…

his coat pocket would have the weirdest things too: a crumpled page of the suicide book, a piece of bandaged that has yellowed due to oxidization, dog food etc

in my head im like how Dare he tarnish his beloved suicide book but that mf probably has 12 more copies at home lmao

I feel like instead of dog food he'd keep cat food for the street kitties that wander up to him :( he'd give them little pets and laugh so softly and sincerely as their heads bury into his coat pockets!!! He's all "You must've smelled the treats, hm? It's a good thing I keep them on hand for smart kitties like you," as he gently pushes them away so he can dig his hand in there to feed them rrgggg

PM!Dazai was shocked to see you shivering beside him. He was usually the one to get cold before you, and yet he found himself practically overheating in his black coat as he pulled it off his shoulders - at least that’s what he told you. Practically turning blue, you weren’t in any position to decline as he plopped it on your shoulders.

You immediately stuffed your hands in the pockets, trying to warm up your frozen fingers so they could move again. After a moment, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as you turned slowly to look at the brunet.

“Dazai…”

“Yes, love?” He sends you a large grin, a teasing lilt in his tone.

You deadpanned, clearly unamused. “Your cold ass hand is not helping.”

His fingers intertwined with yours, his grin only growing as he pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I’ll take my coat back if you’re gonna be ungrateful,” he stuck his tongue out.

You smirked before pulling Dazai in close, wrapping the coat around him as well by wrapping your arms around him. “I’d never be ungrateful to my lovely Dazai! C’mon, I’ll keep you warm, too.”

“But I’m not cold— “

“I felt your freezing hand, Dazai; You aren’t fooling me.”

ADA!Dazai doesn’t need a reason to give you his coat. You look cute, and he wants to help you look cuter. Reason enough, right?

The two of you were lounging around working at the agency, with you focused on the report Kunikida had politely asked you to take care of. Dazai had been on the opposite side of the room at his own desk, coat draped behind him on his chair as he stared at you. His face was resting in the palms of his hand, leaning forward on his desk to get a better look at you.

Wow…

The way the setting sun came in from the window to light up your face had Dazai perfectly silent, mesmerized by you and your beauty. A loud sneeze came from you, whole face scrunching up as your elbow covered your nose briefly. Your sincere apology before immediately going back to your work had Dazai holding back coos, just wanting to hold you close and dote on you in the moment. He stood up, heading over to your side of the room and standing behind you. His coat was draped over his arm, the fabric rubbing against you he leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head.

“You must be getting a cold, hm?” He draped his beige trench coat over your shoulders, pulling your arms away from the report and stuffing them through the sleeves.

The action had you laughing, caught off guard as he pretty much dressed you in his coat. “You alright, Dazai?”

“Mhm, just wanted to keep you warm as your thoughtful boyfriend.” He leaned his body onto you, arms draped around your shoulders and chin digging into your head.

“Wow, you’re so sweet,” you replied sarcastically. Of course you knew he just wanted to see you wearing his oversized coat. “What would I do without you?”

Your hands slipped into the big pockets, letting out a soft chuckle as you pulled out crumpled up papers. “Do you keep these on hand?” You ask teasingly, reading the many ways to die as you flattened out the pages. In the margins were notes he must’ve scribbled down, many of which are just your name with little hearts scratched around them.

Dazai quickly snatched the pages from you, shoving them in the pockets of his white pants instead. “That’s nothing you need to worry about, love.”

dazai probably smells like freshly washed sheets, and detergent, and comfort…

i don’t think he would get any perfumes, cologne yes but he would feel like perfumes aren’t necessary

i love him sm…

you're right anon i feel like he walked into a perfume shop one time got blasted with every smell known to man and immediately left . he does not gaf. also lowkey i imagine he smells like spilled alcohol and canned crab bc thats his morning if he remembers to eat

It has been a long weekend and Dazai was honestly excited to get back to work. As much as he messed around and pawned his work off onto others, being with the agency made him feel good — he liked helping people. Also, he missed you a little bit.

Sniff, sniff... Probably not as much as you missed him.

"You're always so warm... It's like you were taken out of the dryer right before you got here!" Your arms were dangling loosely off his shoulders, head buried into the crook of his neck. "I'm smelling you right now, by the way. Sorry if that's weird."

It is, for sure, but you two were just like that. Dazai stood quietly with a small smile on his face, letting you continue to just bask in his presence for a few minutes. It was far too early in the brunet's opinion — it was still dark out! — and right now he wanted nothing more than to just cuddle up with you on the agency's couch and go back to bed.

"It is weird. Get to work," Kunikida spoke from his desk, already sorting through his reports.

"Kunikida, you're just mad they don't want to smell you. You probably smell like frustration and grossness, where as I smell like flowers and love." Dazai bats his eyelashes teasingly towards his coworker, who mutters angrily but doesn't reply.

"Dazai, you smell like detergent. That's why I always think you just rolled in here from a dryer. It's a very fresh and comforting smell."

"Aha! Comforting; You hear that, Kunikida?"

y!dazai and emotional reader..,, since he’s somewhat emotionally unavailable it’s really hard for him to understand how reader is feeling but he’ll try to act sympathetic just for the sake of them</3

YESSS okay hold on lemme just .

Dazai groaned. This was the third time you’d replied to him with the same - in his opinion - lame excuse. “He can just finish the reports on his own! They aren’t even yours to complete.”

“I offered to help Kunikida and I’m sticking by it. He deserves time to relax as well, you know? What’s wrong with lending a hand?” Your words made Dazai puff out his cheeks as he thought. Well, the main issue is that it’s taking time away from him. Shouldn’t your boyfriend be your top priority, rather than your coworker? “I’m sorry, Dazai. We can have that date tomorrow, alright? I promise.”

“Okay,” Dazai replies curtly. He doesn’t mean to be terse towards you, his beautiful and wonderful partner (his words not mine), but he just couldn’t understand where you were coming from. All he does is pawn off his work onto others, and Dazai is sure the rest of the agency would do the same if given the opportunity. And yet, here you are, staying late just to finish reports that aren’t yours.

His sudden gruff attitude caused you to frown, feeling a little guilty for leaving your boyfriend alone. “Hey,” you spun around in your chair to properly face him, discarding the pen you were working with momentarily. “We can spend time together tonight, alright? I promise, if I had known you planned something for us I wouldn’t have taken this on.”

Dazai knows that; Of course Dazai knows that. But… “Doesn’t spending time with me sound more fun?” He leans in, bumping his nose onto yours to try and entice you into joining him at home.

“One hundred percent,” you chuckle. An amused smile pulls at the edges of your lips as you lean back, turning once more to the extra paperwork you agreed to take on.

“Then why won’t you?” It’s not every day Dazai comes across something he can’t easily understand. With eyebrows stitched together, lips pursed into a small frown, he couldn’t figure out why you wouldn’t just join him. Kunikida wouldn’t be mad that you went home when you were supposed to; As much of a hard-ass as that man is, he understands the importance of a good work-life balance.

One of the reasons Dazai was always so drawn to you was your kindness and emotional side. At first you were merely a puzzle to him - a way to alleviate his boredom for a few weeks before something new came along. But even after all this time, he still hadn’t quite cracked the way you gravitate towards the illogical.

“I want to help out a friend, that’s all.”

Dazai thought back to his friend, one he’d have done anything to help out. Maybe he’s beginning to understand you.

“I’ll see you back at your apartment later, alright? I love you, Dazai.”

The brunet lets out a hum, indicating he heard you, before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head and slipping on his coat. “See you later, then.”

THE WAY DAZAI JUST ISNT YANDERE ?? i forgot LMAOO i'm sorry anon :(

It's late.

Dazai feels a little ashamed, if he were to be honest. How pathetic is it that he's unable to sleep unless in the arms of his coworker? A little pathetic. His eyebrows furrow as he begins to pick the lock to your apartment.

It's late. You're probably asleep.

He's jealous. Yeah; the clenching feeling in his chest is jealousy from your ability to sleep through the nights (a feeling of his that isn't shared towards his well-rested coworkers). You're asleep, and he should be. He will be.

The door clicks quietly, and Dazai doesn't react. How many times has he broken into your apartment? The question is left unanswered as he saunters into the place, making sure to close and lock it behind him.

You're asleep. It's late.

He makes a pit stop by your kitchen, staring blankly into your fridge like he'd do if he lived here. He counts the number of half finished water bottles littering the shelves, dispersed in between random ingredients you don't open and snacks that are dwindling in number.

If Dazai lived here, maybe he could make you dinner sometime. Gather the ingredients to fill your fridge, put a pan on the stove — however people cook, he can't remember. The fridge closes quietly; It's late. You're asleep.

With a final glance towards the sink, taking note of the dirty cutlery delicately balanced around the edges, he makes his way into the hall. Three steps and he'd be outside your door, your bedroom door, where you're asleep.

Dazai pushes away the same thought that keeps appearing in his mind. Of course you're asleep, it's late.

He turns away from your bedroom and finds himself standing in your living room. It's happily lived in - cushions that have lost their fluff, a blanket strewed across the couch haphazardly. His hand runs over it; always the same blanket. Dazai can imagine sitting under this blanket on the couch with you, the couch you two would share, watching some movie on your small tv just across the small room.

If he lived here, he'd make sure to tidy up the living room before you two went to bed. You kept a basket of blankets just next to the tv, and Dazai could easily drape the blanket back into it before following you off to bed. For now, he leaves it; There'd be no trace he was here come morning.

Once again, he finds himself mere steps away from your bedroom door. You live alone, for now, and yet keep the door closed every night. Is it habit? Are you worried some barbarian will break in just to watch you sleep? (Dazai isn't here to watch you, of course; He's here to sleep as well.) If that is what you're worried about, he could always spend the night with you, just to make sure you're safe. Well, spend the whole night with you, rather than breaking in late and sneaking out early.

Dazai turns into the bathroom.

You have the cutest rug next to your shower, one that always makes Dazai smile. A tough persona is applied at the agency, so only he is privy to your cute pink Sanrio bathmat. It's not what he would have expected for you, and that's what makes him smile. Your counter holds an electric toothbrush and has a lot of clutter Dazai wants to sort through. If he lived with you, he could place his toothbrush next to yours and keep your hair care stuff in the cabinet below. Maybe one day you'd let Dazai comb your hair, with a brush or just his fingers.

It's late. You're asleep. The same thought Dazai has been pushing down since he began the walk to your apartment fills his head once more. He's not delusional, no, but what if you weren't asleep? What if you were waiting up, just for him?

His hand touches the doorknob. It's late. You have no reason to think he's coming. The door opens slowly and quietly as he peers in.

You're asleep.

Dazai's chest constricts and he can't help the frown pulling at his lips. Of course you're asleep; He's stupid to get his hopes up. If you were awake anyway, you'd kick him out and probably call the cops. He is trespassing right now, at a time when you're most vulnerable.

Still, Dazai slips into your warm, cream-colored sheets, his hands clasped together under his cheek as he lies on his side. You're so calm, so serene under the dull light of a street lamp just outside the bedroom window. Hesitantly, Dazai's hand moves to brush a strand of hair from your face, the tips of his fingers experimentally tracing your skin.

His eyes flutter shut when you move closer. Were you used to his presence? Dazai likes to think you need him to sleep as much as he needs you. Sure, you could fall asleep without him curled up beside you, but maybe he was soothing nightmares. The thought made him frown. He shouldn't care, he shouldn't be here. His eyebrows furrowed like they had when he first broke in — this is weird. This is illegal, too.

A frustrated puff of air leaves his mouth, his eyes shutting more firmly. Tighter, tighter — why isn't he asleep yet?

He curls more into himself, feeling ashamed and embarrassed and anxious and annoyed and-

Your hand moves from your chest to his, softly resting over his heart. The small smile resides back on Dazai's face as he relaxes, slowly drifting to sleep in your bed.

Light filters in through your sheer curtains, the sun kissing your face as you quickly wake up. The blaring of your alarm was the first thing you'd noticed, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you turned to shut it off. Just a few moments of peace, and then you'd get up....

Those few moments didn't come to pass before you were hit with a boost of energy, sitting up in your empty bed. Of course your bed was empty, no need to emphasize it. You live alone, did you expect someone to be there when you woke up?

Dazai is antsy. For those who've seen him regularly the past month, this isn't a new sight: him pulling at the edges of his bandages, shifting continuously in his seat, eyes flittering back and forth... It happens daily at this point.

Until you show up, when he jumps into your arms, drapes himself over your back, leans into your side, anything he can do to be as physically close to you as possible. His clinginess has started to affect your work, unable to do much as Dazai pulls you onto his lap during the day or sits on yours, head pushed into your shoulder. At least lunches are fine as he pulls you onto the Agency's couch and holds you from behind: you can still access your packed food (which Dazai always steals bites of).

Holding your hand isn't enough, either. Dazai needs to be on top of you or have you on top of him, or he's antsy — which leads us to now. He's shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat of your car, the edges of his bandages unraveling as he picks at them. A small look of panic crosses his face as he finally notices, discretely trying to pull them more tightly in hopes of bringing them back to how they were before.

He glances over at you. Your eyes were focused on the road, one hand holding the steering wheel and the other resting on your lap. The hand was taunting Dazai, practically begging him to grab it... so he did. You glance at the intertwined hands briefly before smiling at him, focusing back on the road right after.

...

It wasn't helping. You're right there and he can't hold you? So close he can smell you but can't have you in his embrace?! This must be his own hell, fashioned by Satan himself to torture Dazai for all eternity (or for the next ten minutes before you reach your destination).

"You alright, Dazai?"

He huffs at your question; Of course not. The childish pout on his face makes you let out a breathy laugh. He turns to you with such adoration - what an adorable sound that he coaxed out of you... Ugh, it just makes him want to hold you more.

You squeeze his hand reassuringly, the feeling causing Dazai to relax momentarily... Until once again he's thinking about the warmth of your hand, and how much warmer it'd be to hold you.

"How much longer?" He whines, the same pout on his lips.

"GPS says seven minutes. Are you that excited for this case?" An amused smirk plays on your lips, the teasing tone making Dazai's heart flutter.

He shifts in his seat, the hand not holding yours fidgeting with the fabric of his vest. "Excited for it to be over," he replies, trying to keep his gaze out the window and not on you.

"Seven minutes, and then you can solve it."

Seven minutes. Seven long, excruciating minutes in hell before he can touch you again, hold you again. Seven minutes, 420 seconds, a few red lights and then a shoddy parking job. Seven minutes... seven...

You let out a yelp, eyes widening as you swerve slightly on the road. "Dazai!" You chastise, both hands moving to tightly grip the steering wheel.

His face is pressed up against your neck, hands grabbing you tightly as he leans over the car's center console to be closer. A stupid grin sits on his lips as he giggles, feeling heady from your warmth. Mmm, this is what he was missing...

"Dazai, I'm driving!" you say, as though the man would understand and move off of you. Instead, he lets out a low whine and hugs you tighter, entirely off of his seat and pressing up against you.

"I'm not stopping you." Your gaze shifts over towards him. "Eyes on the road." You huff, but do as he says. His eyes were closed, how could he see you looking at him?

"You can't do this, Dazai."

"It's like you said: it's only seven minutes," Dazai grinned smugly. Part of him wanted to ask why you didn't like him holding you so closely, but he knew you didn't mind. Should he be clinging to you while you're driving? Probably not, but then maybe you shouldn't be so warm and inviting.

You say nothing else, now focused entirely on the road with a tight grip on the steering wheel. Dazai says nothing either: after all, he got what he wanted.

Dazai didn't mind you playing with his hand. In fact, he kind of liked the attention and care you seemed to be showing him, even if it was just towards one appendage. Light tugging and pushing on fingers, delicately tracing his knuckles and the scars littering the back, and even occasionally lacing your fingers with his for a moment — Dazai was happy to let you do it all. To think hands that have previously participated in such horrid acts could be treated so gently made butterflies erupt in his tummy.

He let you do whatever (having trouble saying no to you) while he wasted time rereading his book. You'd pull his hand to your face sporadically through your time playing with it, so it never caused Dazai any alarm. Sometimes you would inspect it closely, sometimes you'd drag his calloused fingertips along your cheek just to see if the degree of toughness had changed, but his favorite was when you'd press a tiny kiss to his palm. Usually that meant playtime was over — soon you'd drop his hand onto his lap and scurry away. Even knowing it brought about the end of his favorite time with you, the tingly feeling of your lips on his skin lingering long after you'd leave made it worth it. All this to say, Dazai was used to you tugging his hand up towards his face, bringing it closer to your mouth. He had to work overtime to keep his heartbeat steady, certain of what was to come next, when...

"Ow!"

It was hard to catch Dazai off guard. You weren't even trying, you just... Well, you wanted to see what would happen.

"Did you just bite me?" He couldn't help the amused (his coworkers would say smitten) smile on his lips as he turned to look at you.

You turned to him with wide doe eyes, a deer caught in headlights as you seemed unaware you had even done something wrong. Timidly, you press a tiny, chaste kiss to the tip of his middle finger — the same finger you'd gently bitten the top of moments prior.

"Mmh... Sorry, Dazai." Your words were languid, gently squeezing his hand before dropping it out of your hold.

Dazai wanted to pout, to say 'you forgot my kiss' while pointing to his palm, but he was too focused on his middle finger — the tingling of where you kissed him and the warmth of your mouth he'd felt around his fingertip for a fleeting moment. As you shuffled beside him, preparing to stand up, his hand shot out to grip yours.

"Where do you think you're going?"

The smirk on his face told you he wasn't too upset by your impulsive action, breathing out a sigh of relief. "Um, away..?"

A grin spanned across his face as he leaned closer. "Not before my payback, you aren't."

Losing distance, his mouth opened slowly until his head stopped just over your shoulder. "I require penance, you know," he mumbled before biting down onto the soft skin.

small insinuation of self harm

Dazai realizing he loves his s/o, telling them, and then wanting to tell the world ! He's very dramatic, so he repeats it religiously at the agency - a mantra that follows him everywhere :))

Until afterwards when he's alone in his apartment, heart beating out of his chest and feeling especially anxious. What's wrong with him? He didn't do anything differently today than he normally does...

He thinks hard as to what might be causing this, when the door opens and you step in. Oh, he's anxious about you.

But why? He loves you! He's quick to say it as you close and lock his door, and the feeling suddenly returns.

Oh.

He feels a sudden urge to break up with you, loosen contact, drive you away - Does he love you? He didn't want to tell anyone else (he did, he regrets it now). What happens if he falls out of love? Why did he do that? His chest just keeps squeezing, keeps constricting — feeling almost as though he was drowning in his thoughts. A moment of reprieve is granted only by the gentle placement of your hand over his heart.

"Are you alright?"

A few deep breaths and Dazai's heart rate is back in his control. Yes, he loves you, he thinks. But saying it is too scary.

Dazai just looks at you, a war tearing between his brain and his heart, unable to decide how to feel. His brain wants him to vanish: pack up and leave you forever so he doesn't have to deal with this vulnerability. His heart, however, wants to pull you closer. Never leave you, never let you out of his sight, always keep you within six feet of him to protect and love— and like you.

You pull his head onto your chest, cradling it in one hand as the other cards through his hair. "You can tell me anything, you know."

Dazai knows. But telling you he's not actually sure he loves you after his huge breakthrough what was merely the night before feels cruel.

It took a lot for him to open up and admit that, and he's not sure he can open up and admit that he regrets it. He should leave you - you deserve someone better, someone who can shout from the rooftops that you're theirs. But selfishly, he wants to hold you close and let you sooth him.

Seeing him still so torn, not moving as you hold him, causes a frown to come onto your face. All you want is for him to be happy and healthy and loved, and you'd thought you had a 66.67% success rate (you're working on the health thing). Like Dazai had moments prior, you wrack your brain for a change, and quickly land the same place he did: his love for you.

You smile softly, maybe a little sadly, and pull him closer until he's sitting on your lap. "Osamu," you press a kiss to the crown of his head.

He says nothing, just staring blankly. This is the hardest he's ever had to work to keep his heart in check, to stop the frantic beating. Is it hot in here? Should he take off his coat? Why can't he tell everyone he loves his partner? He does love them, he does.

How are you supposed to approach this? If you say you don't have to love me, he could go on the defensive. You just want him to relax. "I'd never force you to do something against your best interest."

Dazai meekly nods. Of course not. You always focus on him and his needs, emotionally and physically. You pack him lunches so he doesn't skip it at work and force him to eat dinners with you most nights. He just now notices the plastic takeout bag on the table - you must have brought that in when you first arrived. You want what's best for him, and he loves you for that! Doesn't he? Does he?

"I don't want you to force yourself into doing anything— saying anything you aren't ready for yet."

Dazai shuts his eyes tightly. Of course you figured it out. Feeling anxious, his heart beats desperately as he relinquishes control, not caring if you notice. Several soft apologies begin to fall from his lips quicker than you can stop them. The turmoil of this is eating him alive, and he hates it. Is running still an option? Does he even want to? The only thing keeping him from opening up new scars tonight is the feeling of your fingers in his hair. He's not sure if he'd leave even if you made him.

Fuck, but staying is so hard. His hands move up to tightly grip the fabric of your shirt, bunching it up between his fingers in hopes to ground himself.

You say nothing, allowing Dazai time to collect himself. Minutes pass, the food you brought likely cold now as Dazai just breathes in your embrace. A small growl from your stomach pulls him from his head finally, a small smile on his face as he looks up, seeing an embarrassed blush decorating your cheeks.

"Sorry, sorry!" Suddenly you're burying your head in Dazai's chest, seeking solace from your embarrassment. You trust him, love him enough to let him comfort you, just as he does you. A groan comes out of your mouth as your hands cover your face.

Dazai chuckles, pulling your head up before gently removing the hands covering your face. Your shoulders fall as Dazai's smile makes you relax. Whatever's bothering him won't go away over night, but you'll always be there to help.

"Come on, let's go eat," Dazai says, voice much calmer than it is when he's loudly boasting about his s/o at the agency. You don't mind. You like this version of Dazai all the same.

He loves you, he's sure of it. He just needs some time to properly accept it before yelling it from the rooftops - and you're more than happy to give him that time.

Dazai's playful grin falters as you chastise him once more, the words punctuated with his name. His last name, once again.

"Why don't you ever call me by my first name?"

Your playful attitude freezes at his question, your fake pout dropping as you turn slack jawed. "W-what?" A stutter passes through your lips as you just continue to stare.

"We've been dating for a few months now, and you never call me by my name." He plays off his words as a joke, something to fluster you, but with the way his fingers slightly pinch and pull at the edges of his bandages, you can tell he's being vulnerable.

An embarrassed blush decorates your face as you just continue to stare at him.

"I'd like it if you'd call me by my name, love." His flirting isn't helpful. From vulnerable fidgets to a cocky grin, Dazai (for once) inaccurately pegs your blush as a flustered reaction, likely feeling shy at the notion he'd now mentioned.

Inaccurate, because it wasn't a matter of not feeling ready, or close enough, but rather because-

"...What's your first name..?"

-you'd forgotten.

Dazai's eyes widen in a rare expression of genuine shock, his movements pausing at your timid question. The embarrassed blush decorating your face that had briefly fooled Dazai only began to grow.

You bury your face in the palms of your hands and let out a groan as Dazai begins laughing: a genuine, gut laugh that you rarely got to hear.

"It's Osamu," he says politely, not wanting to make you any more embarrassed. As you look up from the palms of your hands, you notice Osamu's soft expression and let out a sigh of relief.

You grin. "Nice to meet you, Osamu."

A soft smile pulls at Dazai's lips as he watches you grab your phone. The bright light illuminating your face in the dark kitchen makes you look ethereal, yet he can't stop himself from making a joke. "You know I don't know how to do this."

"You know better than I," you say softly, an amused smirk pulling at your lips as you press play. Nocturne Op. 9, No. 2 begins to softly play from your shitty phone speakers as you place it on a counter, walking towards Dazai.

"I'd probably be better with the lights on," he tries joking again. You don't reply as you place your hands softly on the back of his neck, pulling yourself close as you begin to sway.

Back and forth, back and forth, you continue to step, and Dazai follows each move perfectly. It's no waltz by any means, but it is yours to share. A moment together, a moment of quiet vulnerability in the late hours of the night when everyone else is asleep is sometimes just what he needs - and you always know it.

The peaceful piano piece and the warmth of your body near his makes Dazai's eyes flutter closed, his head moving to rest on your shoulder as yours falls onto his. He hadn't realized just how tired he is, physically and emotionally. His throat begins to sting, and his eyes feel dryer than normal. He feels like crying. And yet, no tears slip past his eyes - they never do - as his hold on you tightens.

The music swells, hitting the part you'll always say is your favorite, and he feels you give him a gentle squeeze, a reassuring touch that causes him to loosen his hold. You aren't going anywhere, neither of you are.

A small this is my favorite part is whispered into his shoulder and Dazai wants to laugh. You're so predictable, and yet that predictability brings a sense of ease and comfort to him that he hasn't felt in a long time. He keeps quiet, his head moving further into your neck as he continues swaying with you.

I've never been one for classical music, I can barely see in the dark, you know I can't waltz, all excuses to stop himself from being vulnerable with you. But the second you pull him close, holding his face to your shoulder and rocking him like a baby on the wood-paneled floor of your shared apartment, he wonders why he fought it in the first place.

As the last note fades out, Dazai's face is fully buried into the crook of your neck, grasping onto your body loosely and tiredly. You aren't going anywhere, neither of you are. And the two of you continue to sway for minutes more, nothing outside of the occasional floorboard creek to interrupt as you embrace each other under the moonlight.

Hello! May I request some pre-relationship/crush headcanons with Kunikida, Atsushi and (ADA) Dazai (all separate) with a reader from the port mafia? How would they realise they are in love? How would they handle it etc etc. I love love love crush headcanons with all my heart<33

heart to heart — crush hcs!!

author's note: i'm an idiot who wrote this fic almost exclusively in hours 2-4 am. my eyes are in pure suffering. an unhealthy amount of fiona apple and unreleased lana del rey songs went into writing this. idk how to write headcannons so this ended up kind of like a fic with bullet points lmao 

— KUNIKIDA

• Working with the Port Mafia is something he is (unfortunately) no longer a stranger to. Still, an extended mission was a bit too risky for his tastes. But everyone said that he was fine, so he should be, right? If only he knew what novel sort of trouble he would face once he took the job.

• For the mission, he was partnered with you. You must've been of a different unit, because he is sure he has never seen you in person before. Except for being mentioned in passing by Dazai in his inane conversations, there was little he knew of you.

• At first, he was skeptical. Not sure whether he could truly trust a person with your affiliations to not double cross him in some way. However, you proved yourself capable soon enough. You worked with decisive efficiency, and even with his rather ridiculously timed schedules, you seemed to have no trouble keeping up with him.

• Needless to say, you two got to know each other fairly well over the course of a month. By now, you were acquainted atleast a little of his likes and dislikes. The late night sessions to plan out the routes and inspect the case files over and over; your friendship sprawls over late cups of coffee, the impatient scratching of pen on paper, and the files scattered on the table while you both worked.

• This was still professional; he'd reason with himself. So what if he's had a few drinks with you once in a while? So what if you've been spending a little too much time at his home lately?

• Dazai’s endless teasing on the matter did not help. At all. As he grows more and more defensive, he wonders if he has grown a little too attached to his new partner.

• Kunikida isn't an idiot. Even he can see how much you've made an impression on his life. He simply isn't ready to admit that this could possibly be romantic in nature. After all, you fit none of the ideals he's decided for his supposed future partner. In some form of pointed irony, the pages of the notebook that carry said ideals are also filled with the random, little things he's noticed you need; chapstick, switchblades, pens— all for them to be ready when you inevitably reach for them.

• Nor can he help stealing a little glance when said chapstick swipes so elegantly along your lips.

• Absolute gentleman, with or without a crush. Opens the car door for you on the other side, makes sure you have your seatbelt on, makes sure to watch your back while you both do field work. It’s just a nice thing to do, he reasons, but feels your touch like it was branded into his skin where your hand accidentally brushed on his elbow.

• The weeks that follow after are drawn out, confusing. As time goes on, he cannot help but read into your every action, taking note of all the little details that outline you as a person; from your tastes to little quirks. While you seem blissfully unconcerned, he could not help but feel the weight of the tension between your conversations. It is not these emotions that scare him, but their intensity. His hands tremble as they once again bandage your wounds from the day’s work, mouth dry as he looks at the gashes you think nothing of—and he wonders since when he started caring so much.

• Kunikida may be a man of his ideals, but he can be honest with himself when he needs to be. And whether he says it aloud or not, he’s already known the effect you have on him. He's known it for a long time.

• When he inevitably confesses to you, there is nothing special about it. It's another evening at his house discussing work, and when you both take a break from investigation, he brings it up to you. He isn't expecting the sentiment to be reciprocated. In fact, he is not sure he even wants that to happen. He says it to be honest. With himself and with you. You deserve to know. And perhaps if he said it out loud, the feelings would subside, even for a little while; with a definite answer, he’d have a reason to put out the growing ember.

• Nothing could've prepared him for the shock of learning that this troublesome feeling could possibly be mutual. And nothing could have prepared him for the coy kiss on his reddened cheek after.

— ATSUSHI

• someone help this poor guy

• no, he's really hopeless with it, but let me explain

• When he was asked to collaborate with the Port Mafia once more, he expected to be paired with Akutagawa once more. You were a pleasant change of pace. At first, he was only met with your suspicion; something that drove an initial rift between the two of you. You weren't sure whether you could truly trust this weretiger you've heard so much about to hold up his end of the deal, and neither could he rely on this complete stranger who regards him so frigidly. However, you both were indebted to your respective organisations—it had to be worked out.

• Your staunch independence, and the confident countenance that carried with it an understated superiority, no doubt the effect of years of experience; at first it irked him. It made him taste a little of the helplessness that trailed him like a shadow all those years ago. He attempted to chase away the feeling; biting back at your subtle digs at his skill and experience, trying to keep up with you as best as he could. You matched each other surprisingly well when you both were at your most competitive; the combination of your finesse and his strength was lethal in the most satisfying of ways.

• Over the weeks, you both get to know each other a little better. The small talks on the way to station were something that he was, despite knowing better, looking forward to. He always seemed more affected by your banter than you were by any retort he could possibly throw at you; and when the sly curve of your lip made him feel the strangest sensation of a sort of rush in his veins, he made no notice of it.

• After that morning, this strange feeling had been growing worse. Steadily through the days, but even so he could point out that the emotion that seemed to sit just beneath his chest was unfamiliar. Sometimes he had to force himself to look away from you just to get it to stop and actually be able to hear what you were saying over the erratic beat of his heart. It was blatantly obvious to everyone but him, and despite the constant teasing and prodding by Dazai on what’s got him so nervous, he still assumed it was merely admiration. Perhaps he was simply in awe of your abilities. For weren't you so impressive when you dispatch your targets so effortlessly, or when you execute such flawless plans with an ease in your mien that makes it look oh so simple?

• But then that begs the question as to why he still stares in a daze when you're doing nothing, just catching your breath in the wall crack you had pulled him into to throw off the people chasing you both; his back hitting the wall and you the only separation between him and whoever was at your tails, stalking the alleyway outside. Breaths held, not making a sound; if you both got caught, this was over, and you both understood the stakes better than anyone. He definitely knew just what was waiting for the both of you out there, and that just made the situation far more frustrating, because then why is he so absorbed in how pretty your jelly-like gaze is, or how cool you looked back there when you silently felled that patrol guard? He feels like his brain has melted. Or atleast the still working part of it, because it's not even the first time you've had that effect on him.

• Your hand tentatively shifts, and for a moment he snaps out of the daze. There is abject fear in his eyes, because what the fuck are you doing when the both of you are one slip up away from messing up this mission you both worked so hard on? Yet your fingers, trembling with the rush of adrenaline and the fear of death, wipe the blood on his cheek, observing a rather deep cut inflicted by the serrated edge of a dagger. He could take a hit, but for some reason worry seemed to claw at your mind relentlessly until you could make sure he was okay.

• Perhaps he'd stopped functioning right there and then, because when the footsteps receded and the coast was finally clear, he could barely hear you say that it was safe to come out. Instead, his first move is to hold his heart and take a deep fucking breath. Not just to calm him down from being chased like that—for he's already been chased so many times—but to stop thinking about that brief, soft touch that reasonably, should not even affect him.

• At this point, he's kind of convinced he's going crazy. And like so many problems in his life, there's only one other person to hear it. Coincidentally also the worst person to go to for that kind of counsel.

• Dazai.

• Bastard laughed for fifteen whole minutes before explaining in broken wheezes what Atsushi was possibly afflicted with. Then immediately began sighing and bemoaning about having to help his coworker with silly love problems once he finally stopped cackling like a witch.

• After this… enlightening conversation, Atsushi promptly decides that he's never going to be able to look the man in the eye ever again.

• Now, he's got a whole slew of new problems going on. This mission, you, the fact that he just embarrassed himself in front of his coworker, and that he had no idea how to even face you after this realization.

• Naturally, he wants to avoid this situation. Atsushi doesn't even consider telling you. He wants to, so badly. His throat feels tight when you look at him so sharply, and he can't help but feel that if he sticks around you for too long, you'll look straight through him and somehow find out. But he has every reason to think this won't work out. Every reason why it won't work out. It wasn't the time for love, not even in the small moments of respite between the constant violence you two had to deal with.

• This distance he's been keeping from you…there is no doubt that you feel it too. He can see as much. The disappointment in your gaze when he keeps on pushing you away; it hurts. And he knows with the way your hands are curled in fists now that you're at your breaking point.

• But instead of the argument he thought this would inevitably lead to, you simply pull him into a corner. In the most sincere tone he's ever heard you speak in, you ask him if you did something wrong. Between your deliberate words, your hands on the collar of his shirt that hold him in place with nothing but gentle firmness, and the emotions that he tried so hard to stifle for the past few weeks; he confesses. Leaves nothing unspoken, even if he consciously knows that this is a bad idea. Knows he shouldn't hand you that kind of power over his heart.

• Yet he doesn't regret it a single bit when he feels your hands leave his shirt collar and wrap around his shoulders, your silent answer that kills the bitter uncertainty left in his heart and replaces it with relief.

— DAZAI

• Your history with the brunet was brief, but not something he has ever forgotten. He’s not quick to forget faces in any case, but yours remained in his memory still.

• You both worked together fairly often some three or four years back, the timeline is blurry in his mind now—in those days, your presence seemed like it would be a permanent fixture in his life. Something to count upon. Perhaps he had hoped for the fact, until an year after when he finally decided to leave this life in the dust, and you with it.

• At the time, Dazai had dismissed those feelings as puppy love; the sort of infatuation that comes with simply being of that age where every emotion feels so amplified in intensity. You were one of his first friends, it was only natural to want to cling on, wasn't it? Only with time it became easier to ignore the hold your presence had on him, his mind too consumed with the ongoing chaos in his life to think about that craving he had during initial weeks of your separation— thumb trembling over the call button.

• A few years after, seeing your face stirs nothing in Dazai. A feeble sense of regret is all that remains, and within a few seconds even that dies off. You've changed, definitely; rough-hewn edges from mafia life, knife-hand no longer trembling when it goes for the kill. Decisive, swift movements, a certain confidence in your words that comes from experience. How the glimmer that used to be in your eyes has long since been clouded over. In a way, it makes him feel closer to you, that your soul is being slowly chipped away, just like his.

• Initially, you regarded him like any other professional acquaintance. Not daring to breathe a word of the past, even when you wanted to demand an explanation out of him so desperately. Anything to make the memories of your shared past more bearable. You know better than to give into those whims. If only for the sake of your mission, the past had to be put aside. Between the both of you, there seemed to be a mutual, unspoken understanding for the need to let go. Your slates are cleaned, and you both once again end up in the same place you started; Yokohama’s shipping docks.

• Over the weeks, being around you feels easier. You both work well into the nights, but it's a little more bearable around your company. The banter is easy between the both of you. Lips curved into a cheshire grin at his antics, you always seemed to be more amused with his actions than annoyed.

• Even now when he decides that diving head first into the sea would've made for a perfectly delightful method of suicide, a knowing sigh leaves your lips, painstakingly pulling him out of the fishnets with a firm grip on his beige coatsleeve. Of course, the effort is in vain when you lose your footing and end up falling into the water with him too. Splash!

• Somehow, even when he's walking home, sopping wet in the winter breeze, he feels strangely warm as you chide him, observing how your lips twitch as if to hide a smile.

• It’s your fault, really. Perhaps if you both didn't fit together so well, if it wasn't so effortless to be around you, he might have avoided feeling the same way around you again. It's not lost upon Dazai, how comfortable he's getting with your presence, especially when he knows it's a temporary one. A fact that he is compelled to face again and again everytime you both end up in the field.

• The danger they were facing were still very much real. Despite how confident you seem to be in your ability, your tight shoulders and shaky breaths betray you in the heat of the moment. Through your hesitation to follow through his plans, you still trust him at his word. He can't help but wonder why.

• Your actions hold a certain carefulness—he doesn't want to call it care, for when it comes to you, he finds it hard to tell what you're thinking—that he doesn't understand. As you wrap the gauze around the wound on his arm from a bullet graze, fingers touching his skin with a kind of gentleness he's only ever known from you… Dazai wonders when you'll finally tell him what you're really after.

• The brief thought occurs to him, no doubt, that maybe you do these things simply because you want to. That perhaps you still care too much, like you did all those years ago. But he knows better than to count on something as fickle as the kindness of people’s hearts. He was never that naive.

• Even so, as the long days and even longer nights pass by, he can't help but once again start feeling as he used to in the distant past, only that this time he has no excuse for it.

• Dazai doesn't blush and his heart doesn't race when he sees you. Instead, it's something far more sickening and confusing. With you, it's easier to drop the delicate layers of pretense that seem to obscure his true thoughts and emotions like delicate gauze. There is a sort of ease of being around you, a sense of belonging. In the delicate moments of the late night hours with you, humanity doesn't simply feel like a cloth to wear to hide the rotten core within. You touch him like you know him, even when he knows that the blood staining his hands is far darker than yours.

• You don't even have an inkling of how he feels, and Dazai believes that it's for the best. He’ll tell you in the future, if he can grow to trust you. He wants to say it when he can be sure of it, in a more peaceful time. Even if he doesn't want you to slip through his fingers again like he did in the past, he wants to wait.

• But right now, all he can see is your bloodied fingertips trembling in the aftermath of the day’s chaos, barely having escaped with your lives. In the silent night, neither of you mention how he holds your hand silently on the walk home, bandaged fingers holding yours with deliberate care.

I smiled like an idiot during my class when I saw this notification come through

Lovely, again 10/10

Another idea, 15!Chuuya who just joined the Port Mafia having his first crush on reader

I can imagine him going to Kouyou to ask for advice 🤭

Like, reader likes him back but still lets him stumble over his words cause it's cute

I feel like I'm not as good at writing Chuuya so I enjoy reading fics for him and you're good at writing him

Man i love your ideas sm and thanks for the compliment!

15!Chuuya x reader

“Beneath the Surface”

Chuuya Nakahara wasn’t new to fights. He wasn’t new to blood, danger, or the haunting, suffocating feeling of Corruption simmering beneath his skin, a constant reminder of the power he could barely control. But this? This was new. This twisting in his chest, this irritation crawling under his skin every time he looked at you. The way his pulse quickened, how his words fumbled out in a mess when you were near.

He had never felt this powerless before.

And the worst part? You seemed to enjoy it.

“Oi, Chuuya, you zoning out or what?” your voice cut through his thoughts like a blade, the familiar teasing lilt making his eye twitch.

The two of you were standing outside, waiting for orders after a routine mission. His heart was still thudding hard from the adrenaline, but the moment you leaned against the wall next to him, all nonchalant and relaxed, his throat went dry. You flashed him that infuriating grin, the one that sent his mind spinning for reasons he didn’t want to admit.

“Zoning out? I ain’t—” Chuuya cleared his throat, fighting to keep his voice steady, “I’m not zoning out. Maybe you’re the one who can’t stay focused.”

You chuckled softly, a knowing gleam in your eyes. “Is that so?”

Chuuya hated how easily you could make him feel small, like you saw right through him — like you knew what he was feeling before he could even make sense of it. And the worst part? You always seemed to enjoy teasing him, watching him stumble over his words or get flustered.

He should’ve been able to handle it. He was Chuuya Nakahara, damn it — future executive of the Port Mafia. But around you, he felt like he was all fists and rage, without the cool confidence he usually carried.

You shrugged casually, pushing yourself off the wall and stepping a little closer to him. “You sure? You’ve been pretty distracted lately. Almost like something’s on your mind.” There was that tone again, the one that hinted you knew. And damn it, you probably did.

He gritted his teeth, trying to focus on anything else. “There’s nothin’ on my mind, alright? You’re imagining things.”

But even he knew that wasn’t true.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

The crush had started small, barely noticeable at first. You were one of the few who treated him like he was your equal, despite him being new to the Mafia. You were sharp, quick with your words, and had a mind that could cut through even the thickest of tensions. Chuuya respected that. But at some point, the respect shifted, and he found himself watching you in ways he hadn’t before.

It was the way you laughed, soft but with an edge that always left him wondering what you were thinking. The way your smile, so full of mischief, made something twist uncomfortably in his chest. And the way you always seemed too calm — as if you never took anything seriously, and yet still managed to outsmart everyone around you.

One time, after a sparring match where he’d barely managed to keep his cool, you leaned over, offering him a hand with a smirk. “Good effort, Nakahara.”

His blood boiled at the patronizing tone. “Tch. I don’t need your pity.”

But your teasing grin never faltered. “Relax, Chuuya. You’ll get better.”

Better? The audacity. But his heart still raced from the lightness in your voice, from the way you spoke his name like it was some private joke only you understood.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

Days passed, and the frustration gnawed at him. It wasn’t just your teasing that got to him anymore; it was everything about you. Your smirk, your laugh, the way you looked at him like he was both amusing and… something more. It was unbearable.

Chuuya prided himself on not needing help. But with you? He didn’t know what to do. How could he, when every time he tried to talk to you seriously, he ended up stumbling over his words like some awkward kid?

And so, in desperation — and no small amount of embarrassment — Chuuya found himself standing in front of Kouyou’s quarters, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. The moonlight cast a soft glow over the hallway, and the sounds of the night echoed faintly in the distance.

Kouyou opened the door, raising a delicate eyebrow at the sight of him. “Chuuya. It’s late. What brings you here?”

Chuuya swallowed his pride, shifting awkwardly on his feet. “I, uh… I need some advice.”

Kouyou’s lips curved into a knowing smile. “Ah. I see.” She stepped aside, allowing him into the room. “Have a seat. This seems… personal.”

He scowled, feeling his face flush. “It’s not personal,” he lied. “It’s just—there’s someone, okay? Someone in the Mafia who keeps messing with me, and I can’t… I can’t stop thinking about them.”

Kouyou folded her hands in her lap, regarding him with her usual calm gaze. “Messing with you, how?”

“They’re always teasing me,” Chuuya muttered, staring down at the floor, “and it’s like they know what I’m thinking before I even say it. It pisses me off.”

Kouyou chuckled softly. “And yet, you find yourself drawn to them, don’t you?”

Chuuya clenched his fists, frustrated. “Yeah, but it’s… different. I don’t get it. Why can’t I just talk to them like a normal person?”

Kouyou’s smile was gentle, almost amused. “You’ve never been one for subtlety, Chuuya. But from what you’ve described, it sounds like this person enjoys your company. Have you considered that their teasing might be… affectionate?”

Chuuya blinked, staring at her in disbelief. “Affectionate? You’re kidding, right? They’re always messing with me.”

Kouyou laughed softly, a sound that both soothed and irritated him. “Some people express their feelings through playfulness, especially when they know it affects the other person. It sounds to me like they enjoy seeing your reactions. And judging by how flustered you are, it’s working.”

Chuuya flushed a deeper red, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “So what the hell am I supposed to do? I can’t just… I dunno, keep letting them mess with me.”

Kouyou’s expression softened. “Perhaps you should stop focusing on how to ‘win’ against them and instead consider how you truly feel. Do you want them to stop? Or is there something more?”

Chuuya went silent, Kouyou’s words echoing in his mind. Something more? He’d never considered it like that before. But maybe… maybe there was something more. And maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t so bad after all.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・

Chuuya clenched his fists, struggling to steady his breath. The weight of Kouyou's advice pressed heavy on his chest. Now was the moment—he’d either crumble or finally get the words out.

“I-I’m not here to fight,” he muttered, his voice betraying him with a slight stutter. He winced internally at his own nerves.

You raised an eyebrow, your smirk deepening with that ever-present teasing glint in your eyes. “Oh? That’s a surprise. So what’s on your mind, Chuuya?”

His throat felt tight, but he pressed on, stepping closer, his heart thundering against his ribs. “You.” His voice cracked slightly, and he quickly clenched his jaw to steady himself. “Y-You’re always on my mind, dammit.”

The smirk on your lips softened, but the amusement never fully disappeared. You tilted your head, a playful flicker in your gaze. “Is that so? How bold of you.”

Chuuya’s cheeks flushed, his frustration mixing with embarrassment. Why was this so difficult? He was a Port Mafia member, strong, unshakable, and here he was fumbling over his words like an idiot. He took another step forward, his fists clenched tight by his sides.

“Yeah, i-it’s true. And I… I’m tired of you messing with me like I’m some joke,” he blurted out, his voice sharper than intended but laced with a vulnerability he couldn’t hide.

For a split second, your eyes widened, but then a soft, genuine laugh bubbled from your throat—completely different from the usual sarcastic tones you threw his way. “Chuuya, I wasn’t messing with you.”

His breath caught. You weren’t? All this time? He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but words failed him.

You slid off the railing, closing the distance between the two of you. “I was just waiting for you to figure it out,” you murmured, voice softer now, your teasing edge momentarily fading.

Chuuya’s breath hitched, his chest tightening as your words lingered in the air between you. His heart pounded in his ears, drowning out the world around him. He had been expecting rejection, or another round of teasing—but this? This left him speechless.

You took another step forward, and suddenly, you were closer than he’d ever imagined. Chuuya could feel the warmth radiating from you, and he was hyper-aware of every inch between you, vanishing rapidly.

He swallowed hard, but no words came. His mind raced, torn between disbelief and the undeniable pull he felt towards you. “I—" he started, but before he could find his voice, your hand gently cupped his cheek.

Without giving him a chance to overthink, you leaned in, your lips brushing softly against his. The kiss was tentative at first, testing, but when you felt Chuuya’s hesitant but eager response, it deepened.

His hands, which had been hanging awkwardly at his sides, found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as the world seemed to fade away. Every thought, every worry, melted under the warmth of the kiss. Chuuya’s pulse raced, but this time it wasn’t from nerves—it was from the overwhelming sensation of finally having what he hadn’t even realized he’d been chasing for so long.

When you finally pulled back, the teasing smirk returned to your lips, but there was a softness in your eyes that made Chuuya’s chest tighten for a different reason now.

“So…” you whispered, voice just above a breath, “was that clear enough for you?”

Chuuya, still dazed, blinked, his usual bravado returning just a little. He huffed softly, trying and failing to suppress a small smile. “Y-Yeah… clear enough.”

For once, there were no words to stumble over, no need to fight back. Everything between you two was finally starting to fall into place.

Omg this took FOREVER

This is so wholesome

10/10, great start to my day

Request/idea!

Established relationship with reader taking care of Chuuya after corruption. Like Dazai takes Chuuya to his penthouse to be taken care of by reader instead of the extraction point because Dazai knows Chuuya would be more comfortable with reader than in the pm hospital/medical bay (*cough* stormbringer *cough* *cough*)

Just like cute fluff where Chuuya is tense around reader because he's so vulnerable until eventually he relaxes when he realizes reader isn't leaving or gonna hurt him

Oh god YES

Chuuya x reader

(established relationship)

The soft glow of the evening lights filled the penthouse, casting long shadows across the quiet room. Outside, the city buzzed faintly, a contrast to the stillness inside. You stood by the bed, looking down at Chuuya, his usually sharp features softened by exhaustion, his breathing deep and slow. He was out cold—completely unconscious after pushing himself too far in battle, having using Corruption again.

Dazai had brought him here instead of to the Port Mafia’s medical bay, knowing that Chuuya would be more comfortable in your care than surrounded by cold hospital walls. It had been a quiet exchange—no teasing remarks, no sarcastic barbs. Just a mutual understanding between you and Dazai that Chuuya needed this (i made dazai responsible/sensible 💀).

Now, standing over him, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of worry despite knowing he’d recover. You gently brushed his damp hair away from his forehead, feeling the faint warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. He looked so different when he was like this—so vulnerable, so unlike the fierce, unyielding man you knew. The one who stood tall (yes i did this on purpose 🦖) , who commanded respect with every word, every movement.

Sighing softly, you sat down on the edge of the bed, your fingers trailing along his arm. He didn’t stir, completely lost in the deep sleep that always followed his use of Corruption. You hated seeing him like this—not because he was weak, but because you knew how much he hated being seen this way. Vulnerability was something Chuuya rarely allowed, and you knew he fought against it even in unconsciousness.

“You always push yourself too hard,” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper as you leaned in closer, resting your hand on his chest, feeling the slow, steady rise and fall of his breathing. “You don’t have to… not with me.”

The words hung in the air, but they were more for you than for him. You knew Chuuya—knew that even if he could hear you now, he wouldn’t listen. He was stubborn like that, always trying to carry the weight of the world on his own.

You stayed like that for a while, your hand gently brushing over his chest, the sound of his breathing the only noise in the room. It was rare to see him like this—so still, so quiet. In these moments, he seemed almost fragile, and the thought of him waking up alone after such an ordeal tugged at your chest.

“I’m not going anywhere, Chu,” you whispered softly, your voice filled with a quiet determination. “I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

He didn’t respond—of course he didn’t—but as you settled beside him, you felt the tension you hadn’t realized you were holding slowly melt away. You knew that when he woke up, he’d still be the same Chuuya, sharp and biting, with walls built up so high it was a wonder anyone ever got through. But for now, in this quiet moment, there was peace.

And as you lay there beside him, your fingers gently tracing the lines of his hand, you knew that when he finally opened his eyes, you’d be right here. Just like always.

Timeskip

Chuuya stirred slightly, his breathing shifting as he started to emerge from the deep sleep that had held him for hours. You stayed still, your fingers still tracing light patterns on his hand, waiting for the moment he would fully wake up. You could tell he was still groggy, his mind pulling itself from the depths of exhaustion.

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, the sharp blue softened with lingering fatigue. His gaze shifted to you, and for a moment, confusion flickered in his eyes—like he wasn’t sure if you were really there. But then, recognition settled, and his usual tension melted away.

“[Y/N]...” he muttered, his voice rough, barely more than a rasp. His hand instinctively tightened around yours, a quiet reassurance that he was here, that you were here, together. His lips curved into a small, tired smile, so different from the usual smirk he wore in public. This was Chuuya, stripped of all the fire and pride—just him, softer, vulnerable, but comfortable with you.

“Yeah, it’s me,” you replied quietly, a gentle smile pulling at your lips. “You really overdid it this time.”

Chuuya huffed softly, his usual bravado flickering, but the tiredness in his eyes betrayed him. “Tch… I’m fine,” he muttered, though there was no real bite in his words. His free hand came up to cover his face for a second, as if trying to hide the weariness he couldn’t fully shake.

“Sure you are,” you teased lightly, leaning in just a little closer, your thumb gently brushing over his knuckles. “That’s why Dazai had to drag you here half-dead.”

He let out a low chuckle, but there was no anger behind it, just a quiet acceptance of his own limits. “That damn suicidal idiot…” He paused, lowering his hand from his face to meet your gaze again, and something in his expression softened even more. “He knew you’d take better care of me than anyone else would.”

You smiled at that, warmth spreading through you at the quiet admission. “He’s not wrong, you know. Though I’ve got half a mind to yell at you for pushing yourself so hard.”

Chuuya sighed, his eyes closing for a moment as he allowed himself to sink further into the comfort of your presence. “You wouldn’t be the first,” he murmured, his voice low but filled with that gentle warmth that he reserved only for you. He shifted slightly, moving closer to you as if seeking more of your warmth, his hand still firmly holding yours. “But… I’m glad it’s you here. Always.”

There was something different in his tone—a vulnerability that Chuuya rarely allowed himself to show. His guard was down, and in this quiet moment, he wasn’t the powerful mafia executive or the ruthless fighter. He was just Chuuya—your Chuuya.

You shifted closer, gently resting your forehead against his. “I’m not going anywhere, Chuuya. You know that, right?”

His eyes opened, locking with yours, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. But the way his hand tightened around yours, the way his body relaxed against you, told you everything. He didn’t need to say it—he trusted you completely. And that trust, that vulnerability, was something he rarely gave to anyone.

“I know,” he whispered finally, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it. “I just… sometimes I need to be reminded.”

You smiled, brushing your fingers through his hair, feeling him relax completely against you. “Well, I’m always here to remind you.”

Chuuya’s lips twitched into a faint smile, and he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing once more. “Good,” he mumbled, the tension in his body gone now, replaced with a rare calm. “Because I’m not letting you go either.”

And with that, the two of you sat in the quiet of the room, his hand in yours, as Chuuya finally allowed himself to rest—safe in the knowledge that you weren’t going anywhere.